Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Pastel Photos

Pastel Photos

by Leigh_Ashworth 3 reviews

This story is not for kids it about suicide. Who is it of these four guys, read and find out who.

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: R - Genres: Angst - Warnings: [V] - Published: 2007-10-18 - Updated: 2007-10-18 - 1860 words - Complete

Pastel Photos.
By Leigh_Ashworth

A pile of photos scattered all over the coffee table, looked over many times before. A young man sat on the floor between the couch and table. He neither noticed nor cared that his tears were running freely down his face. He reread his letter to his band, once again. Then taking and putting it into the envelope that was on the floor beside him. He sealed the letter with a few well chosen photos. Turning it over to write the names of his bandmates on the front, getting off the floor he took and placed the envelope on the side table by the front door. He stood there looking at it before turning around and heading back into the main room of the hotel room, and placing the rest of the photos back into a box that they traveled in. he then took the box and put it inside one of the two suitcases he traveled with. He left the bedroom and headed toward the bathroom where he had earlier put the bottle of booze and razor, he would soon put to use.
Taking a deep breath, he closed the bathroom door. He then reached for the almost empty bottle of vodka and downed it all at once. He placed it the now empty bottle on the counter and reached for the razor shakily. He looked at the razor for a moment taking another needed breath. He was terrified about what he was about to do but he knew nothing else would stop the pain he was feeling. He took the razor and pushed the sharp edge of it into the soft flesh of his skin, and dragging it to the other side. The cut was deep as he watched his blood flow from the wound. Quickly he did the same with the other side. The feeling of both his hands started to become numb, he dropped the razor. He watched as the blood, his blood gushed forth from his self-inflicted wounds. Panic! He felt scared as a headache started to form causing him to become tired. The numb feeling was quickly taking over as a darkness over took the light in the small room. Falling to his knees, he fully collapsed to the floor.
“I’m sorry Ryan.” He said tears again falling.
“I’m sorry Jon.” He said as his breath was caught in his throat.
“I’m sorry Brendon” He said as an icy cold feeling took over his body.

Ryan, Brendon and Jon were on their way up to the room as they stepped onto the elevator. “Man, Spence sure did miss out, not going to dinner with us.” Jon said as he pushed the number ten button for their floor.
“Yeah he did, but he looked kind of sick, when he declined. Maybe he just wanted to get some rest. He really doesn’t like sleeping on the bus, you know.” Said Ryan leaning up against the wall of the elevator, Jon and Brendon nodded knowingly.
“Well he better eat what we brought him. He’s not been eating much since the VMA’s.” Brendon said holding the to-go bag food from the restaurant they ate at.
“Well, if he doesn’t we’ll make him go see a doctor.” Ryan said looking at Brendon with a small smile.
“Yeah Brendon, don’t be so hard on Spencer, everyone’s entitled to a sick day every now and then.”Jon said jokingly.
Brendon stuck out his tongue before responding.” Well excuse me for caring.”
Ryan and Jon laughed as the ding of the elevator sounded. They got off.
Walking up to their door, Ryan fished out the key to the room from his jacket pocket. He opened the door letting Jon and Brendon through first. Ryan then followed and shut the door behind him. Jon stopped after something caught his eyes, which in turn stopped Brendon and Ryan from moving into the living room. “Jon, move man, I need to put this food up and wake Spencer.” Brendon said getting a little annoyed.
“Um… guys I don’t think Spence has been asleep this whole time?” Jon said as he picked up a letter addressed him and the others.
“What do you mean?” asked Ryan as Jon handed him the letter; letting him and Brendon pass.
Brendon turned to Ryan, “Well what is it?” as Ryan opened the envelope and pulled out the letter and three pictures. The pictures were of each of them with Spencer. Ryan handed those to Jon and Brendon and as they looked at the pictures he unfolded the letter to read tear-stained words. It read:

To Ryan, Brendon, and Jon:
First off I’m truly sorry for doing what I’m about to all of you. I’ve tried and I’ve tried to tell you. I’ve tried to find help, but I’ve come realize that some things are to be left to do alone. I never thought that I would stoop to this level of depression. But of course I have and I can’t seem to find my way back. I’m so sorry to do this to you as I know this would hurt all of you deeply, especially Ryan. If you are all reading this right now, I’m probably already dead. Again, I’m really sorry. If you can forgive me, please do so. I love you guys so much, goodbye.
Spencer James Smith

When Ryan finished reading the letter aloud, silence followed until Brendon dropped the food and ran to all the bedrooms to find nothing until he saw the room with lights on. Jon and Ryan followed.
Brendon pushed open the bathroom door and the sight before him made him cry out. Ryan pushed past and sank to his knees pulling Spencer’s body to his own, not knowing what else to do. Jon silently stood at the door tears falling. Brendon, not able to look at all the blood on his close friends shirt and all over the floor, he turned and buried his head into Jon’s shoulder. Jon put his arm around Brendon trying to comfort him.
Tears fell down Ryan’s cheeks as he held Spencer in his arms; rocking back and forth mumbling to himself as well as to Spencer. As minutes passed, Ryan felt something that could only be called a miracle. Spencer let out a small moan that could barely be heard if you weren’t as close as Ryan. “Oh God… Spencer you’re alive!”Said Ryan making both Brendon and Jon rush to them. “Spencer… it’s me Ryan…please don’t leave like this… if you c-can hear me I want you to open your eyes and be alert.” Ryan said tears forming in his eyes as Spencer groaned a little. Sweat started forming on Spencer’s temple, Ryan motioned Brendon for the hand towel. Brendon reached for the towel and handed it to Ryan. Jon not knowing what else to do took out his phone dialed for 911 and rescue. He then called the front desk and their manager. As Jon made calls, Ryan and Brendon did the best they could with the make shift bandages they made, carefully but tight enough to stop the flow. Hanging up from the last call, Jon bent down to his knees to see Spencer barely awake but alive. “Come on we need to meet the ambulance down stairs.” Jon said to Ryan and Brendon, they nodded getting up to their feet. Jon turned to Spencer. “Hey Spence are you up to going downstairs to wait in the lobby?”He said with a small smile. Spencer didn’t respond, but the look in his eyes seemed ready. Holding Spencer under his arms, Ryan and Brendon brought Spencer to his feet. Jon was the first to leave the bathroom; heading for the door to the hall.

After what seemed like forever, Jon, Ryan and Brendon got Spencer onto the elevator pushing the button for the lobby floor. Spencer leaned back against Jon, not being able to hold himself up.
Getting off the elevator, the guys helped Spencer to a chair, sitting him down as they waited for the ambulance. Ryan sat on the arm of the chair, not wanting to let Spencer out of his sight. Jon sat on the other arm, watching the clock on the wall as well as Brendon, who kept crossing in front of it every once in a while. Spencer groaned a little as the pain shot from his wrist again. “Shh… It’s okay Spence, the ambulance is on its way.” Said Ryan as he pushed the hair out of Spencer’s face. Spencer leaned into the touch.
Soon the sound of a siren could be heard. Brendon automatically ran to the door rushing to meet the medical vehicle. Jon and Ryan stood, both holding on to Spencer. Brendon rushed back in with the EMT’s close behind. Jon moved out of the way as the EMT’s helped Spencer on to the gurney. Ryan did the same, even though he really didn’t want to. Brendon walked over to Ryan and Jon not knowing what else to do.
“Sir, what hospital are you taking him to?’ asked Jon as the EMT’s headed for the door. “East Highland.” Said a young blond male. “Thanks.” said Ryan and Brendon together as the EMT nodded.
Jon looked over at Ryan and Brendon as the EMT’s left with Spencer. “Well let’s go to the hospital guys we can wait for him there.” He said as he pulled out his phone again. Brendon watched Jon fiddle with the phone then put it to his ear. “What are you doing?” asked Brendon watching Jon.
“I’m calling Pete to tell him what happened. One of you needs to call the others.”Jon said as he waited for Pete to pickup.
“Hey Pete, its Jon. Listen, Spencer is at East Highland Hospital. If you and the others want to meet us there; it’s better to tell you all in person what happened.” Said Jon when he picked up the voicemail. “Guys lets go.” He said looking at Ryan and Brendon, then turns and head for the car. Ryan and Brendon nodded following Jon. Both knew to let Jon be the one to drive. So they went to get in the passenger seat, neither wanted to sit in the back alone. Jon started the car and pulled out of the hotel parking lot and headed to the hospital.
A calmness came over the guys as they pulled up to the hospital. Somehow they knew Spencer would make it and that he would be just fine. Jon parked the car and they headed through the emergency doors of the hospital only to meet Pete and the others of Fall Out Boy. “Well what happened? How did…? Is he…?”Asked Pete, the others murmured in agreement.
Brendon was the first to speak up. “Well I think it all happened sometime after the VMA’s…”

To Be Continued………
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