I deserve this...this slow death. The death that will be like my life. The death deserving of an ice prince..... Angst,Oneshot
Standing there, I feel my heart shatter inside my chest as my fingers tremble in clenched fists at my sides. How could this happen to me? Why did this happen to me? My heart feels numb inside my chest, as if it can no longer beat without that blonde haired idiot standing right beside me.
Icy tears swell behind my wide eyes as my teeth grind together. A picture of his face keeps flashing in my mind, first the bright smile that made me want him in the first place, then the face he makes when he cums in my arms as I gently kiss his lips, then the face he showed...right before he turned away and walked out of my life.
Bitter anger rages inside my mind as I turn and walk inside my empty home. I bite my lip to hold in the cries of anguish, my nails dig into the hardened flesh of my palms as I clench my fists tightly.
Damn him and his words.
What the hell did he mean?! Is he really so blind that he couldn't see how I really feel...he couldn't see my love for him?
I thought it was the most obvious thing in the world, the moron. Why else would I let him in my life....why else would it feel like my heart is splitting in two inside me? Of course I love you Naruto!
"Sasuke," his face looks to the side as I turn to face him tears swell in his bright blue orbs. My hands stay frozen at my sides as I cross my legs and make a soft sound, letting him know I'm listening.
"I can't be with you anymore Sasuke....I think its time we move on....well at least me, I doubt you even really care. I want someone who will love me Sasuke, someone who will be affectionate and tender and TALK to me.....I can't be with you anymore Sasuke, you.......you.....you're so distant and....cold. I feel like we are continents away when we are in the same room! I need something more Sasuke and you obviously do as well....I guess I'm not the one for you as I had hoped."
I watch the emotions flicker across his face as he stares down at my carpet, his fingers restlessly play with his blue sweater as his feet shift uncomfortably. I stare straight at him, it feels as if my eyes are as wide as saucers but I know they are narrowed in my natural Uchiha glare.
"Hn." That was the only thing that could release from my mind, the only thing my lungs would allow enough air to escape for. It feels like my body is frozen to the chair. 'What the hell does he mean?!'
Anger suddenly plasters his face. Quickly he rips himself from the chair across from me and glares down. "Should have figured this is how YOU would react! You don't...God Sasuke! Can't you just for ONCE unthaw that chuck of ice you call your heart and feel something?!" He looks down at me expectantly.
My brain is pounding as my heart races in my chest, I don't know what the hell is going on and my body is reacting on natural instinct...like its on self pilot and I'm watching from the sidelines screaming out for myself to do something.
"Hn." Again I respond in the only way my vocal cords know how. I can't stop myself, I can't control my body, everything feels as if it is falling around me and my hands are grasping at a nonexistent wall as I free fall to the bottom of a pit that just opened from no where below my feet. I'm screaming inside as I watch swift tears race over his cheeks and down his clenched jaw to rain to the floor below or splash aimlessly on his shirt.
What the hell is happening I have no clue, it all hit me so suddenly I don't know what to do and my body shut down.
He storms out the door and shouts over his shoulder, "I hope you find a bastard just as cold as you are so you can brood together in happiness! Fucking ice prince! I knew I shouldn't have even tried to give my heart to some selfish pri~" His words where muffled as the door leading outside slammed
I continued to stare at the spot I had last seen him, my knuckles finally popped as the pressure I used to grip the chair arms became too much.
A few more minutes passed until a flood of air burst from my lungs, the last breathe I had taken while Naruto was speaking. Blinking I looked around as if seeing the space for the first time. panic pulsed through my muscles as I shot from my chair, my arms trembled at my sides as I looked around the room. My heart was pounding in my chest at such a fast rate I was sure it would explode.
Everything that had just happened overwhelmed my memories and I raced to the front door. I burst out and ran down my stairs, feeling my feet catch on the pavement a few times as I ran down the block to the end of the street.
"NARUTO!" I screamed his name frantically as I looked around the four way stop, trying to figure out which way the blonde could have gone. "NARUTO!!" I scream his name as if by some miracle he can hear me, though I know he is long gone by now.
Slowly I make my way back to my house, the sounds of my footsteps pound in my head as my eyes stare out in a dull gaze, my lips slightly parted. Wind whooshes around me, hugging my frame before quickly passing by and continuing on like nothing had happened. Finally I make it to my home, its long shadow drapes across the street and covers the rest of my world in a distant embrace.
With shaking limbs I make it up my porch. On the final step I turn around and stare out at the world around me.
I stand there for what feels like hours trying to figure out what to do next. Pleading with whatever gods are watching that he will walk back to me, saying what a fool he is....
He never comes. No matter how long I wait, the moon finally lifts the veil of clouds that had been hiding it for the better part of the night.
I feel the breathe of death upon my neck as I stand shivering in the thick night air, stars gleaming down on me, calling me to them with their bright smiles.
Walking down the stairs to my basement my mind slowly starts to fade out all thoughts, a single minded determination takes over. My feet fall to each next step and sends a strange shock through my body. At the end of the stairs I pause and look around the cement basement. Off in the right corner is a small sink that juts out from no where, its stainless steel glittering in the soft glow of the 50 watt bulb that lights the large empty room.
My steps are made without effort, it still feels as if my body is walking without me, my soul drifting a few feet away attached only by a small thin line.
Shaky pale fingers reach out and grip the faucet. Slowly the hot turns on and water thunders down, I watch the water as it swirls around the drain then rapidly gushes down making loud gurgling noises as small bits sprinkle my outstretched arm. I bend slightly and pick up the red plastic bucket nearby. Putting it under the steaming water I flinch slightly at the change in sound as the water now pounds against the thin shell of the bucket, then slowly turns into a soft thumping sound as water hits water.
Once filled to the line an inch and a half below the rim I snap the water off and pull the bucket of steaming water from the sink. My left side bows down with the weight of the bucket as I make my way to the other side of the room. Everything flashes by as if on super speed, the heavy step of my left foot echoing louder in my ears as I continue to walk forward.
The loud clank of the bucket coming to a rest on the cold cement vibrates off the walls as I reach forward. I pull off the lock that holds the large freezer shut. Opening the lid I listen to aged wailing as the hinges creak to life. I look inside and smile at its emptiness, there's nothing but three large bags of ice. Reaching over I adjust the settings so its on its coldest setting and bend back over.
I pull the bucket up and with both hands hold it over my head. Its trembling as I slowly tip it. Suddenly hot water floods over my entire body, instantly matting my hair down against my skin and forcing my clothes to cling to my body.
There is no way out of this, Naruto can't and wont listen to me, he hates me...he can't see what I so obviously feel for him so whats the point in living.....nothing....there is nothing now.
Water begins to bead off my body as the puddle at my feet rushes around the room. I pull my leg up and quickly bring it over the edge of the freezer, its a large freezer...large enough for someone to fit into...my family kept it for when they needed to over stock.
The soles of my feet hit the bottom of the freezer, crystallized ice stinging my heated foot, at first I flinch, then quickly adjust as I swing my other foot over and stand. I grip the side of the freezer with my hands as I bend back until I feel ice collapsing under my bottom. Once seated completely my arm extends up and grabs the lid and lowers it.
With a soft chunking sound the freezer seals itself shut.
Instantly I feel my skin draw tightly together, its clinging to my muscles in a desperate attempt to keep its well earned heat. The back of my head comes to rest on the wall behind me, soft cracking floods my ears as the heat from the water clinging to my hair overwhelms the ice-lined walls. Instantly I feel my hair freeze to its white surface as the freezer suddenly hums to life.
'/Why/?' I ask myself again as imagines of the blonde assault my vision.
Squeezing my eyes shut I try to dull the harsh throbbing I feel in my chest. There is nothing I can do, he was wrong.........he doesn't understand.........he was right.
If I can't even get the one person that I've ever felt anything for to understand me...then whats the point in anything, I decided long ago if he wouldn't be a factor in my life then there would be no life. No waiting for the next day to hope he will come around, theres nothing now I can't help him, I can't love him the way he wants. I'll bring him what he really wants....I'll help ease his pain.
By simply being on the same world he is I hold him back, that thought makes it feel as if my heart is being ripped from my chest. He can live without me, can be better without me.
I feel my toes go numb as my fingers start to shiver uncontrollably. The humming grows louder as the air seems to go thinner. I watch the thick streams of what looks like mist plume from my lips as I exhale.
I should never have brought him down for my own selfish reasons....now he is in pain because of /me/, stupid, worthless, petty me. He doesn't deserve that.
Closing my eyes as a tremor convulses through my body and my arms instinctively curl around my stomach I see his face, tears streaming down his sun kissed cheeks.
I hurt him more then he ever deserved to be, all so I would have something to selfishly cling to just to feel at least remotely alive. I pull my head forward till I feel the my hair pull at my scalp then slam back. By this point my whole body is shivering.
The constant humming suddenly shakes the container I sit in as it kicks itself up another notch to meet the lowered temperature setting.
I feel the cold sink in, deep, almost chilling my bones.
I watch the scenes of our life together play in my mind, the only time I ever felt alive was in his arms. My body seems to shrink in on itself like its eating itself to stay warm, I try to fight my natural fight instinct but in the end I just let in and give my mind free rights to slip away.
I can no longer hold my eyes open, the harsh temperature of the freezer stings burns into them until even the pictures in my mind go fuzzy.
I knew this day would come, I just couldn't believe it was so soon...and that I've hurt him so much. I deserve this...this slow death. The death that will be like my life. The death deserving of an ice prince.
The tremors that had been convulsing through my body just moments before subside and a strange peace seems to settle inside me. My body relaxes against the ice as my lungs slowly exhale a content sigh.
"Naruto...." 'I'm so sorry'
Alright alright I know I know. Something that you couldn't see Naruto doing is leave Sasuke like that or Sasuke giving up so quickly I know, and I just wrote it like that so I could write it ;_; Don't get mad at me!
Sigh Its more of a joke between me and some friends XD They will read this and laugh chuckles If you've read Penis Games then you will know my friends and I have some weird sense of humors ^^
I mostly wrote this because I really wanted to kill Sasuke by him freezing to death XD
Well I really hope it was halfway descent? Review maybe?