Lovable Pillsbury Doughboy
My obligations equal personal freedom and I find it extremely difficult not to be a clown. I can't help it. I have accepted myself and others around me have graciously opened their hearts and souls. So then, why I am being so friggin philosophical all of a sudden?!
I have fun if there is a purpose and with today's photoshoot, I stand prepared and ready for action. The purpose this time is an oxymoron; playfulness at the highest level of intimacy. Who knew I was such a naughty Joe! Hehehehehehahahahahaha.
And that name they gave me, Lovable Pillsbury DoughBoy, boy they sure know me!
So what will I find as I reach my destination? Who the hell cares! Let's get it on!
As I walked in the hallway, glancing quickly at the horrible paintings, I saw none other than Rob in a room with the door half-opened. Oh man, should I say hi or just keep walking? He looks bored out of his mind and his eyes are closed. Hmmmmmm. Let's take a peek a bit further and...OH SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH! NO!, .... NO... IT CAN'T BE!... NO... NO... NO WAY!!!! NUH UH, NO. WHO KNEW?!!!!!!!!!! OH THE HUMANITY!!!!! I THOUGHT..... HA HA HAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. WOW, That's a side of Rob I never knew existed. DELICIOUS!!! Oh I just wish it was me!!! Damn, now I don't need any stimulation to continue for the shoot, I'm already hard as a rock. I could fuck a bedpost at this time. Damn these urges, I can't wait to see what they have for me.
" Mr. Jose' Hahn? "
tisks very loud THAT'S JOE!!!!!!!!
" Mr... "
JOE... JOE HAHN. J.. O.. E.. I hate being so direct but this young punk was just that. A PUNK! I think Chaz could kick this kids ass- big time!
" Follow me. "
I follow the punk, but unbeknownst to him, I mimick by making faces. I'm such a goofy shit today. Blah, blaaaaaaaah. I stick out my tongue, put my hands up and above my face and do a Rocky BullWinkle impression. I was just so fascinated by this kids lack of tact in acknowledging my correct name. Okay Joe, behave yourself. Nah, I don't wanna.
I'm led into a room with the usual pornographic materials.
" Mr. Hahn, take off your clothes and prepare. If you need help there are... "
" Excuse me? "
I'm already hard. I'll take my clothes off and will wait. Let's get on with it... NOW!!!
Oh shit, awwwww I think he peed his pants. He made a run out of the room so fast I thought he was going to hurt himself.
... And, so I waited. Dumb asses, think they know everything. I'm waiting you idiots! LET'S GO YOU.......
" Mr. Hahn? " a different much older voice said, a bit more at ease and not as cold.
Yes, I'm here and ready for action! sitting in birthday suit
" The photographer who is assigned to you has a quick question before you enter the photo session. "
" Are you allergic to nuts? "
No, not at all.
" Be right back. "
Huh, that's an odd question.
knock on door
" Mr Hahn, he's ready for you. "
I sigh and get up from the chair, already stained in my sweaty lust. Approaching the door, the voice said.
" I know this is inappropriate, but may I please get your autograph? "
I am in such shock, where the hell do you think I have a pen? Up my ass!? AW SHIT.
You have a pen and paper perhaps?
" Yes, here it is. My, uhmmm, daughter loves you soooooooooo very much. Please make it out to Bethany. "
I can't believe my luck, of all the times. No thank you either. And I almost lost my hard-on, Christ, what next? Any more surprises? I just wanna have some playful fun and I don't....
exasperated happiness as my eyes lay upon the glorious feast ahead.
COOL!!!!!!!!!! As I survey the setting, this is what is presented: a gourmet foodstation with a stainless steel top. It had a towel rack, seven drawers, commercial grade casters, all electrical and a refrigerator; filled with loads of aphrodisial foods. OH MAN, I'M IN HEAVEN and need co coaxing whatsoever. I scurry to the fridge and open the door and lo and behold, what have we here.
As I was about to bring out some foods, the photographer came to lock and load the gear. Caught me off guard but was told not to play with the food, yet. AWWWWWW. Okay, so I did what I was told. I went on over to the top of the station and waited, with a shit-eating grin on my face. He knew I was pissed. But all was forgiven when I found out the answer to the allergy question. Here lie a bowl of nuts, all mixed- cashew, almond, macadamia, peanut, pecan and walnut. Motioning me, I got the gist of what he wanted from me- oh man, I hope this station can hold my weight as I get on top of it. Hey, I made it. Allrighty then, ah ha. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA VERY FUNNY. I lay with my arm forward and being ever so seductive, I take the bowl and pour them on me. Pop Pop Too close, I think my eyes are turning red.
Let's see what else is around here... Oh, this is good. I don't think the cameraman expected me to be this easy as I opened a drawer to reveal a prop. I take it, go to the fridge and start taking foods out.
He pondered his eyes at me as I approach the station once again and this time approvingly. I place the chefs hat on top of my head and grab the closest food, a carrot. I put the carrot, half-cocked in my mouth pretending to suck it. I see the tagline as the Pop's continue with a line reading, " Linkin Park member Joe Hahn... He really does have a place for head." What else?- hmmmmm, oh a wonderful cold banana. I get on top of the station once again and slowly unpeel it and lick my lips. Pop
I had a blast! I used a whole mess of foods to get crazy with in various positions. Then, hahahaheheheheh, the ultimate. I was too high to see it before in the fridge until now as I shake the can and get on the floor. The cameraman inched in really close to my erection and my facial expressions as I squirted the whipped cream over my bellybutton. I lick and tease my left forefinger all the way down til I hit my erection and then
Pop Pop Pop .
Guess what America?:
I really am poppin fresh and I'm cumming for you.