Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Living in Panic
And I came here to make you dance tonight. I don't care if I'm a guilty pleasure for you.
- Cobra Starship
It had started out as a regular show: Brendon was doing his usual act with Ryan, I was doing all of the dancing, as well as singing with Brendon, and doing stupid things to get the crowd going, like giving Brendon a lap dance, stripping, making out with Spencer when he was supposed to be drumming, teasing Jon and Eric, hanging my clothes over Ryan’s microphone, throwing water “accidentally” over Bartram, the usual stuff. But when it came to “Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have without Taking Her Clothes Off”, the seventh song in our first act, it started going wrong. In that song, I do very slow dancing going to really fast, getting one of the guys, normally Brendon, to dance with. But this time, I went past Brendon and, on the second “You know it will always just be me”, I had the sudden urge to change my choreography – I mean, I am the only one dancing as we don’t hire our show people anymore because of my dancing capabilities, so I was only affecting myself – and I started kissing Ryan, very passionately because, to be honest, I have had a crush on him since the first day I met him. And he was kissing me back hard, as if he had been waiting for this moment for a long time too. We were getting into it pretty well, and the audience thought it was part of the show. Ryan was supposed to sing, ‘Let’s get these teen hearts beating faster, faster’, but he was too busy kissing me. The audience, and Brendon, took it as a cue for them to sing the line and, when the chorus hit, I pushed Ryan away and continued dancing and singing, making sure he went back to play the guitar. Luckily a couple of minutes later, we had to go off and change into our costumes for the second act and have a twenty minute break, whilst Fall Out Boy did a surprise intermission show, as Rojer, Katie and Dusty left.
I had to change into a pair of mini-shorts with leggings underneath, a black tank-top, fishnet tights, black opera gloves, one of those silver fashion scarves, and 4 inch-high stilettos. Normally I have my own separate change room, on account of me being the only female in the band, but because it was only a short intermission, I had to share with someone, and that someone, of course, was Ryan. As soon as he came in, we were kissing in frenzy. We started undressing each other, when a message came over our personal P.A system said that we only had five minutes left to change and chill. We broke apart, chuckling slightly, and changed, being totally dismissive that the other person was there, most likely watching. We finished up and went back on stage. We performed the second act flawlessly, and I changed none of my choreography, and managed to keep a distance, and keep my hands away, from Ryan. Or so I said. As soon as I cleared the stage, Ryan was at my side, trying to pull me into one of the side rooms. I followed him in, and started kissing him, pulling him closer to me, whilst trying to close the door at the same time. Ryan maneuvered us so that he was pressing me against the wall, sliding his hands down my arms so they were pinned back against the wall. His kisses grew more passionate, and I managed to break my arms free of him, and snake them around his back, lifting up his shirt from the waistline, caressing his back as I went. He seemed to take my movement as a cue to move his hands to the back of my tank, and slid his hands underneath. The strange thing was, I let him. He moved his hands around to the front of me, trying to feel my chest, and that was when the realization set in. I pushed Ryan away from me hard, and he gave me a quizzical look.
“I thought you wanted this Em. I thought it was why you followed me in here.”
“I thought I wanted it too Ryan, but it’s too soon, to early on. This would have been my first time, and I want it to be special, not done against the wall as a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing, easily forgettable. I’m just not ready yet. Anyway, we have to leave here and get back to the hotel soon, because we have that interview for the new DVD happening tonight. It’s already 10:45, and you know what Dylan says when we’re on tour: be in bed by 11:30 if possible, so no-one is cranky tomorrow.” I headed towards the door.
“I suppose you have a point there. Okay lets go get sorted, and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to push you into anything. I just assumed that you wanted it, with the way you were kissing me earlier when we were on stage, and just then.” I took his hand and walked out of the room. We went back to the change rooms, where Brendon confronted us. I let go of Ryan’s hand quickly.
“Is there something going on between you two that you aren’t telling us? Because if there is, we need to know.” He looked genuinely worried.
“No, nothing has been going on between us, but something may be starting. Now we must go and get changed or else we will be late for the interview.” I hurried off into the change room I used earlier, and Ryan used the empty one next door.
- Cobra Starship
It had started out as a regular show: Brendon was doing his usual act with Ryan, I was doing all of the dancing, as well as singing with Brendon, and doing stupid things to get the crowd going, like giving Brendon a lap dance, stripping, making out with Spencer when he was supposed to be drumming, teasing Jon and Eric, hanging my clothes over Ryan’s microphone, throwing water “accidentally” over Bartram, the usual stuff. But when it came to “Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have without Taking Her Clothes Off”, the seventh song in our first act, it started going wrong. In that song, I do very slow dancing going to really fast, getting one of the guys, normally Brendon, to dance with. But this time, I went past Brendon and, on the second “You know it will always just be me”, I had the sudden urge to change my choreography – I mean, I am the only one dancing as we don’t hire our show people anymore because of my dancing capabilities, so I was only affecting myself – and I started kissing Ryan, very passionately because, to be honest, I have had a crush on him since the first day I met him. And he was kissing me back hard, as if he had been waiting for this moment for a long time too. We were getting into it pretty well, and the audience thought it was part of the show. Ryan was supposed to sing, ‘Let’s get these teen hearts beating faster, faster’, but he was too busy kissing me. The audience, and Brendon, took it as a cue for them to sing the line and, when the chorus hit, I pushed Ryan away and continued dancing and singing, making sure he went back to play the guitar. Luckily a couple of minutes later, we had to go off and change into our costumes for the second act and have a twenty minute break, whilst Fall Out Boy did a surprise intermission show, as Rojer, Katie and Dusty left.
I had to change into a pair of mini-shorts with leggings underneath, a black tank-top, fishnet tights, black opera gloves, one of those silver fashion scarves, and 4 inch-high stilettos. Normally I have my own separate change room, on account of me being the only female in the band, but because it was only a short intermission, I had to share with someone, and that someone, of course, was Ryan. As soon as he came in, we were kissing in frenzy. We started undressing each other, when a message came over our personal P.A system said that we only had five minutes left to change and chill. We broke apart, chuckling slightly, and changed, being totally dismissive that the other person was there, most likely watching. We finished up and went back on stage. We performed the second act flawlessly, and I changed none of my choreography, and managed to keep a distance, and keep my hands away, from Ryan. Or so I said. As soon as I cleared the stage, Ryan was at my side, trying to pull me into one of the side rooms. I followed him in, and started kissing him, pulling him closer to me, whilst trying to close the door at the same time. Ryan maneuvered us so that he was pressing me against the wall, sliding his hands down my arms so they were pinned back against the wall. His kisses grew more passionate, and I managed to break my arms free of him, and snake them around his back, lifting up his shirt from the waistline, caressing his back as I went. He seemed to take my movement as a cue to move his hands to the back of my tank, and slid his hands underneath. The strange thing was, I let him. He moved his hands around to the front of me, trying to feel my chest, and that was when the realization set in. I pushed Ryan away from me hard, and he gave me a quizzical look.
“I thought you wanted this Em. I thought it was why you followed me in here.”
“I thought I wanted it too Ryan, but it’s too soon, to early on. This would have been my first time, and I want it to be special, not done against the wall as a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing, easily forgettable. I’m just not ready yet. Anyway, we have to leave here and get back to the hotel soon, because we have that interview for the new DVD happening tonight. It’s already 10:45, and you know what Dylan says when we’re on tour: be in bed by 11:30 if possible, so no-one is cranky tomorrow.” I headed towards the door.
“I suppose you have a point there. Okay lets go get sorted, and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to push you into anything. I just assumed that you wanted it, with the way you were kissing me earlier when we were on stage, and just then.” I took his hand and walked out of the room. We went back to the change rooms, where Brendon confronted us. I let go of Ryan’s hand quickly.
“Is there something going on between you two that you aren’t telling us? Because if there is, we need to know.” He looked genuinely worried.
“No, nothing has been going on between us, but something may be starting. Now we must go and get changed or else we will be late for the interview.” I hurried off into the change room I used earlier, and Ryan used the empty one next door.
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