What a fucking asshole!! That guy needs fucking therapy! Along with his other people holding her family in ….Wherever that country she came from! What the hell is wrong with this world! What decade do those fuckers live in!
Her ‘life’ story made me so mad! But that was nothing but an even bigger motivation for me to just hold on to this girl! She’s got to be some kind of an angel to put up with all of this! I feel somehow, captivated by her; probably because that girl is just like me.
I didn’t want her to know that it disturbed me, I didn’t want her to feel more down than she already was so I tried not to let the resentment and anger in me control my reactions towards every sickening sentence she’d say about those mother fuckers.
“I…I just don’t know what to do.” She finally said.
She seemed like she was holding her tears back. That simple look in her eyes made me want to go kick that twat’s ass.
“Gosh, I seem so pathetic now, I’m sorry.” She added. I wish I could be as open to her as she was to me. But I can’t, no one knows my story and I’m planning on leaving it this way, she didn’t need to know about me anyway.
I can’t believe I told him everything! I don’t know how I was able to open up to him that way. I don’t want him to see me like that! I sure know how to push people away. I can’t take this! I don’t know what to think! Laying here like a dead person, I can’t get any more pitiable than that.
“You’re not pathetic.” He replied smiling a bit.
“No… maybe just miserable.” I said. Couldn’t help but feel this way.
“You just need some rest. Go back to sleep and everything will sound way better when you wake up.” He said, trying to comfort me.
I still can’t believe I just told him the secret that I kept from my own best friend.
It’s as if I’m coming back to my senses now and regretting the fact that I told a shining rock star the way things go, back at my place, the repulsive kind of way I used to live in, who would still want to talk to a person like me when they get to know the way she was raised?
“Did you get drifted away with your thoughts again?” He said giving me one of his cutely curved smiles.
“It happens a lot…” I replied barely able to raise my voice high enough for him to hear me without having to lean forward towards me.
“I’ll just rest my weird…self now; you might want to sneak out as soon as I fall asleep.” I said trying to give him a hint. I think he would want to leave now.
“You think you’re weird?” He replied keeping his beam.
“Don’t you think I’m freaky? I think I can get really odd sometimes.” I said exactly what was on my mind.
“Nah…I think you’re adorable!” He replied with a soft look in his eyes. I’ve never seen that in a guy, it’s just indescribable. I seriously don’t know what’s forcing him to stay with me or to even be so nice to me.
“Adorable without any make-up on?? Are you serious!” My reaction was completely natural, yet it made him giggle.
He then added: “I remember when I came for this appointment with you and I noticed that your eyeliner was…”
“Applied really badly!” I finished his sentence as he giggled even more. It made me smile.
“I know! You don’t need to remind me!” I added almost laughing with him. I remember that day too, I looked so awful but now that I look back at it, it just sounds so funny.
“Wasn’t it applied this way on purpose? I thought it was on purpose…” Frank then added humorously.
“Now I know you’re just trying to make me mad!” I exclaimed jokingly, pretending to give him the ‘angry’ look as I instantly ruined it by giggling.
“Hey…That’s the last thing I’d want to do!” He added pinching my cheeks.
“I can’t be mad at you anyways.” I said smiling. It’s true, actually, I can’t think of myself being mad at someone like him!
“Good…” He added still smiling. “Because I’m going to have to let you rest now.” He then explained.
He’s going to leave me alone now? I mean, I understand he has his own life to deal with and I’m probably causing him some problems for keeping him here with me but… I don’t want to be left alone! George was the first thought that crossed my head when Frank said he was going to leave. What if George came back? What if he was planning on seriously killing me? He’s crazy! He’d do just about anything if he felt like it!
“Hey! dreamy girl!” He added, purposely interrupting my thoughts as I looked up at him. He was standing now. He really is leaving…
“What are you thinking of?” He then asked.
“I’m….scared.” I replied. I wanted him to go, on one hand because he shouldn’t waste his time doing nothing, but I couldn’t tell him anything other than what I had said. I was now used to letting my heart out for him.
“I’m here…” He then said sitting on the side of my bed, running his tattooed hand over my hair.
“I thought you were leaving…” I replied, confused.
“I just said I was going to let you rest now.” He replied with a light beam. I could just sense it, he was about to leave but when I told him I was scared he decided to stay. I wouldn’t feel so good knowing that I indirectly ‘forced’ his presence with me so I said: “I’ll be just fine! You go do what you have to do!”
“Are you kicking me out?” He asked humorously.
“No, but…” I tried to explain as he interrupted: “Then you go to sleep now and let me keep you company.”
“Keep me company while I’m asleep?” I asked giggling.
“Yeah, is something wrong with that?” He added smiling, insisting on the idea that someone can be kept company while asleep.
“No… Alright then…” I added stretching, suddenly feeling the pain coming back to me. As if this whole conversation with Frank made me forget about the physical soreness I had.
“Alright. Good night then.” He said smiling, gazing at me tenderly.
“Hmmm…” Was the last thing I said before closing my eyes and surrendering to sleep, wondering if he was really going to stay; if he was going to be there when I reopen them in the morning.
I waited for him all morning and he didn’t show up, not even bothered to call me.
I picked my phone up a few times to call him, but why should I? He should be the one calling me! Instead of treating me like a queen, he gets himself busy with other meaningless things!
I had to miss the fashion show I wanted to attend at noon, waiting for his majesty to come back home!
I don’t know where he is right now, don’t even want to know, but I’m sure not going to make it easy for him this time!
No one ever treats me like that! Who does he think he is?
I walked upstairs, placing the shopping bags on our double sized bed.
Good thing I was smart enough not to waste any more time waiting for him and went shopping.
If it wasn’t for those new boots I bought, I don’t know how mad I would be right now.
I started unpacking the stuff I bought for myself, trying them on.
I even found a grey shirt for him, and it was on sale so I bought it. It doesn’t really look so nice, it’s plain and simple, but it will sure make my black long dress look just too elegant when I make him wear it to the formal party my parents are throwing.
Oh, and that hat, it looks awesome on me. I slid it over my head and head to the mirror. I wish I could watch myself in it forever, but I don’t want to ruin it from now, I’m keeping it for special occasions. That hat really made my day! I got it off and placed it on the bed to start looking up those bags again and see what else I bought myself…
“Jamia…” I heard Frank call me from downstairs.
“I’m up here!” I said trying on my new scarf.
“Hey…” He said walking in then throwing himself on the bed. He sure looks tired. If he had come here 5 minutes ago I would’ve shown him some of my fury, but I’m not in the mood for it now, that scarf just brings out my eye color so beautifully.
“So…?” I said turning to stand in front of him as he was laying in bed, face up, eyes slightly open. “What do you think?” I added adjusting the scarf on me.
“What?” He said, looking at me, barely seeing my new scarf.
“Is it nice?” I asked him as I threw one edge of that scarf around my neck. Now he’ll definitely notice it.
“You got a new haircut?” He said. I can’t believe him! How blind he can be sometimes he just sickens me!
“You know it wouldn’t hurt you to say a couple of nice words every now and then.” I added getting the scarf off of me and opening the closet to place it there properly and pick out my pajamas.
“Where the hell did I go wrong now?” He said.
Ha! As if he doesn’t know! Trying to act all innocent on me. I decided to be the mature one this time and not reply him. I just picked out one of my sexiest stuff, went to the bathroom, wore it, and got myself ready. I was in the mood tonight…
When I finally went back to the room, where Frank was laying, his eyes were closed.
I crawled next to him and gave him a light kiss, meaning to wake him up, but that didn’t work. He just looked so tired and deeply asleep. That meant, I had to try harder this time to make him come around. So I slid my hand under his shirt and up to his chest, squeezing my head between his shoulder and head, trying to kiss his neck.
He moved a little, and mumbled something I couldn’t understand.
I must be doing a good job. I always do a good job.
At least that was what I thought until he moved his hands to push mine away.
He probably didn’t know what was going on so I whispered to his ear, exactly what I had in mind for tonight, with some of the dirty details.
“Hmmm..” He mumbled adjusting his position, turning on his side. I seriously don’t know what is wrong with him, he’s never like that.
I tried to run my hand through his hair but he didn’t let me touch it, he just said: “I’m tired.”
What the hell that’s supposed to mean? He’s never tired! At least not too tired for this! He’s never been like that! He’s changing. Something must be going on with him… And I’m planning on figuring out what it is, no matter what! No matter what it takes I’m going to find out what’s making him change this way and I’m going to do anything to stop it. He has never rejected me before! I cannot be rejected, damn it!