Read. :] Longer than expected.
“No…Don’t,” Gerard said his words so soft, so small. His hand still lingered on Frank’s arm. He thought for a moment, his face showing no emotion till he finally spoke again.
“I’m not hungry.” This surprised Frank. The singer new him to well, so well that he knew Frank was going to order him food without a second thought.
“Gee…” Frank started. Again, Gerard shook his head. Frank started to get up, but the confused singer pulled his arm down. The singer laid Indian style, looking at his fiddling fingers. Gerard looked up into Frank’s eyes. There was hair in his eyes, but it was soon pushed behind his ear by a certain guitarist. Gerard looked down, but he couldn’t hide the tear that fell from his eye.
“You can tell me,” Frank soothed his friend. He looked at the broken man sitting across from him. There where so many things he wished he could do, just make the pain go away.
“It’s Bert…” Gerard’s voice became shaky. His whole body was threatening to shake with sobs. “He Be-” Suddenly the familiar, ‘Hey. Wait. I’ve got a new complaint’ went off and Frank was disappointed at the ring tone. He looked to his friend. Gerard nodded, permitting him to answer it.
“Hello?” Frank found himself still staring at Gerard. Then he heard the sobbing coming from the other end.
“Frank!” The voice was shaky, scared. This was serious. This was Anthony. “Frank! They’re after me! Their gonna kill me! Frank! Please! Help me!” His words where rushed, fear all he heard was fear.
“Anthony? What’s wrong? Where are you?” The questions spilled from his mouth. The younger boy’s voice changed to a whisper. He held his sobs as best as he could.
“The bar, I’m behind the bar. They’re here. Please hurry.” With that the other side went dead. Frank looked at Gee who obviously could hear the sobbing. Frank took him up and instructed him to get dressed and wait here for him. Gerard looked at his friend like he was crazy.
“Your not thinking of going without me are you?” Frank stopped on his way to the stairs. He looked back at Gerard and sighed.
“From the sound of Anthony’s voice, this is pretty serious. I don’t know how I’d live with myself if I let you go… and you got hurt.” He averted his eyes. He heard the shuffle of clothes and he looked up. Gerard was fully clothed.
“Well, I’m not asking for permission now am I?” He stated and walked out of the room and down the suite stairs not even waiting for Frank. The guitarist’s mouth was twisted into a smirk; his friend’s bravery was really amazing.
They ran through the hotel lobby, not checking out. Gerard explained how he never checked out of here. It was just his room, and the Hotel knew it. They ran to Frank’s car and sped out of the parking lot.
“Gerard.” Frank said, he usually never called him Gerard. It was usually Gee, or dude. It was the seriousness of what he was going to say, that caused the name to be said.
“What?” The singer asked keeping his eyes forward; Frank grabbed his friend’s eyes.
“You can tell me later… when all of this is over.” Gerard nodded his head slowly. Frank drew his hand back to the wheel and began going faster towards the bar.
Frank’s breath quickened as they pulled into the bar parking-lot. He looked at the old building, but no lights where on. He looked at Gerard, who was already getting out of the car. They headed to the side, slowly creeping. Then they heard the laughing. They looked at each other then Gerard nodded and walked back. Frank heard his friend gasp, and start yelling.
“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?” Gerard screamed at the strangers. The guitarist immediately jumped out from the side of the building. He was in temporary shock when he saw the scene laid out in front of him. There where four guys circled around a huddled figure. One had on a blue Abercrombie and Fitch sweatshirt, and baggy jeans, no doubt the leader of the gang. His cronies where wearing what seemed to be the same thing, just in different colors.
“Anthony?” Frank started to rush over to the circle; before he even got close to them the leader kicked Anthony in the side. The blow caused his whole body to jerk, and the waiter screamed in pain. Frank stopped where he was.
“Don’t come any closer,” said the one in the blue. He smirked. “You must be Frank…” He walked right up to Frank, and looked him in the eye. “Fag.” he said, and then spit in the guitarists face. Frank closed his eyes and whipped of his face. So this is what it’s about…
“What’d you call him?” Gerard asked. From the tone in his voice he could tell this man just pushed the singer over a cliff… what the idiot didn’t know was that Gerard was gonna fly back up and do so much more than just ‘push him over the edge’.
The man giggled. He crossed his arms over his chest and looked Gerard up and down.
“An F…A…G.” With each letter he walked closer to Gerard. The singer stood his ground until the man was close enough. Then all hell broke loose. Gerard socked him in the face, taking on all four of them and gaining enough time for Frank to go grab Anthony, get him up and take him over to the car.
“Frank…” Anthony was weak, blood dripping from his mouth, he smiled and nodded. His silent thanks made Frank shutter.
“Gee! Let’s go!” He said, from the car he could see the singer kick the leader one more time before getting into the car.
“Wow, those karate lessons really paid off didn’t they?” Gerard asked sarcastically as they sped off towards the stage.
The car ride was covered in a mist of silence; finally there was a small beeping, slow and annoying. They where running out of gas. After about five minutes, they reached a marathon gas station. Frank ran into the store and got a bottle of water, some paper towels and Advil while Gerard tended to the car. A dam seemed to break inside the guitarists mind and questions flowed into him. He ran to the car, Gerard had taken the wheel so he could get in back and tend to the damaged waiter.
“Anthony…” He whispered. Lightly brushing the brown hair out of the younger man’s face. Frank studied the kid. He was shaking, his eyes where lidded but his sea colored eyes still struck with life.
Gerard hardly kept his eyes on the road. He was too busy looking back at Frank and Anthony. Frank had intertwined their fingers, and Anthony was smiling. Gerard sighed, he was jealous. He didn’t know why he was, but the feeling was slowly growing. He almost missed the turn to get ‘home.’
Frank helped the waiter out of the car and into his room. Gerard brought the water and Advil, getting a towel from the bathroom. He ran into the bathroom, opening the door. He noticed that the door wouldn’t open all the way. He looked behind it, and saw a towel. He grabbed it, and started out the door when he noticed… it was covered in blood. He gagged and dropped it. He almost puked. He stood there in shock for a moment, looking at it. Then he realized Anthony needed him. He was willing to forget about the towel for now, placing it back where he found it. He would tell Frank about it later, when everything was quiet again. He wetted the towel, picking warm water just in case.
When he got back to the room, Frank had started washing out his mouth, instructing him to lightly swoosh the water in his mouth and spit it into the garbage can. He did it a dozen times until there was hardly any red.
Gerard’s jealousy increased as he saw Frank’s hand placed lightly on the injured man’s lower back, drawing circles. Something he used to do to Gerard when he was crying. He sighed but gave them what they needed.
“They saw us…” Anthony started. Frank was so concerned, he didn’t even notice Gerard. “They saw us kiss.” He was crying, a silent cry where the tears fell but nothing else changed about him.
“He’s been bothering me about not having a girlfriend for a while… and when he found out, that I didn’t like girls. He threatened me.” Anthony shook his head. “But I wouldn’t give you up. I told him to go suck dick, said he might actually enjoy it.” Frank snickered and Anthony’s eyes brightened a little, but the darkness returned as he continued. “So when I got to the bar, I did my daily rounds doing the dishes, cleaning the counters… then I took out the trash.” Frank silenced him.
“We understand from there.” Frank’s voice was infuriated. How could he not be? They hurt his boyfriend. There he said it. Anthony was his boyfriend. He would do whatever it took to make him okay again.
Gerard saw the switch in Frank’s eyes. He saw determination switch to love. He saw it. It made him want to cry, he should get that look. He should be the one in Frank’s arms. Now the look shifted to the singer, a pleading look of ‘leave us alone,’ Gerard couldn’t say no.
“Anthony,” Frank was cuddling him, the waiters head on his shoulders, and frank’s head lightly placed on top. “I love you” He said. He wasn’t sure if he meant it… but he was sure Anthony needed to hear it.
Anthony smiled, and looked at him, his head leaving the guitarist’s shoulder. They sat there for a second, eyes locked. Until Anthony reached up and planted a kiss on Frank’s lips.
“I love you too, Frank.” He said. Their hands found each other’s as they laid in Frank’s bed, now spooning and just enjoying the others company. It was the first time Frank ever shared a loving experience that was non-sexual. And he had to admit… it was great.
Gerard was watching through the crack he left open in the door. His hand gripping his wrist, biting his lip to keep himself from sobbing. That’s when Bert walked up behind him; he could smell him a mile away.
“Welcome back sweet’ert,” Bert said. Gerard could hear the sarcasm in his voice. It gave him a shiver as he knew what he had to do. He got up, Bert following close behind. Walking into his room, taking a deep breath for what’s to come. Bert undid his belt buckle; Gerard’s eyes began to water as he looked at the dreaded belt. He was instructed to turn over; he hesitated earning himself a punch in the face. He whimpered and did as he was told.
“That will be forty lashes for you,” The evil singer giggled as he heard Gerard’s soft sob. “Make it forty-five for that. You should know by now Gee…I own you” The mans tongue licked at Gerard’s ear and a silent tear fell from the singer’s face. He now hated that stupid nickname. It was only okay when Frank said it. But now it was violated by the intoxicated man. Gerard bit his lip in preparation.
At first, it was painful. Gerard had to hold his breath and focus on something else. It seemed impossible not to scream. Slowly however, the whapping of the belt and the pain subsided, they melted away. He began to drift off into a daydream; one of him, and Frank smiling… they where together hands locked, glances lustful and loving. Every so often the thick pain would come back shattering the dream. He would have to create another one, trying so hard to keep this one alive.
“That should be ‘nough” Bert staggered as he walked over to the bed. Gerard’s back was covered in blood. He could feel it flowing down his back. He got up and looked his ‘owner’ in the eye, and recited the phrase he was forced to say after every lashing.
“Thank you for my punishment” and Bert nodded his head, allowing him to exit the room. Gerard walked at first, once he thought it was safe he ran to the bathroom. When he got there, he took a shower. The sting on his back was painful, but familiar. He wondered how his back looked. After all the times he’s gone through this. He sat down, back against the wall, the water falling down on his face. His tears where blending in, yet every so often he could taste the salty remedy on the tip of his tongue.
There was a light knock on the door. He didn’t want to talk to anyone. He just wanted to blend in to the water, fall down the drain, and float away.
“Gerard?” It was Mikey. Of course it was Mikey. He had no choice but to answer now. He opened his eyes; the water flowing into them didn’t sting as bad as his back.
“Yeah Mikey?” His voice was happy. It sounded like he was going to burst into song any second. He hated himself for that. He hated how much he wanted help, but whenever the opportunity came… he never asked for it. He hid his pain. To him, that was weak. He was weak.
“Were all going to watch a movie… wanna watch?” His brother’s innocence was always so welcome. He smiled into the water.
“What movie?” he asked. He heard his brother laugh.
“The only movie we know you’ll watch.” He sighed, The Nightmare before Christmas. It was the film he and Frank shared as their favorite.
“Sure…I’ll be out in a second.” He said. Not wanting to leave the comfort of his shower. But he had to… don’t let anyone find out was his motto. He sighed and got out and dried himself off, he looked in the mirror. He then saw the little hand mirror Mikey used. An idea sprang inside his head. He turned around grabbing the hand mirror and reflecting the image of his back so he could see it on the little hand mirror. The mirror fell and crashed on the floor. Gerard gasped as he saw the scars and freshly marked wounds. It was horrible.
“Gerard? Are you okay?” Ray asked. He knocked on the door, opening it without waiting. Gerard automatically turned around. He smiled at the man standing there. Luckily he had his towel around his important parts.
“Ray! You scared the shit out of me!” He forced a giggle. Ray didn’t see it. Gerard could tell from the way he gave the singer a half smile and shook his head.
“I just heard the crash…” He said pointing to the broken mirror on the floor.
“You know me! Clumsy!” He said a smile plastered on his face. Ray laughed and shrugged, leaving Gerard to his own.
Gerard collapsed as soon as he heard the click of the door. His back was worse than he thought. There was no way he could explain it if anyone saw. This caused a small paranoia to start in the back of his brain. He sighed.
He decided to watch the movie and forget about it for awhile…