Is it possible to love someone so much that you would kill for them? How scared would you be if you were to look out your window and suddenly see someone staring back at you from the other side?......
Fiction Title: Psychotic Betrayals
Chapter Title: 03 I'll Wash My Bloody Hands
Rating: Hell if I know, let's do this by ear.
Warnings: Language, Violence, Sexual Reference
Summary: Is it possible to love someone so much that you would kill for them? How scared would you be if you were to look out your window and suddenly see someone staring back at you from the other side?...How scared would you be if you realized that it was your boyfriend with a crazed look on his face?
Disclaimer: I don't own Good Charlotte or the song /My Bloody Valentine/. This is all fiction and if it were real, well, then kudos to the guys for getting away with it. I own any characters you don't recognize. I don't have Study Hall, so I don't know what they do in there...just...go with it.
Terrie was still kind of mad at me for the comment I threw at her yesterday during lunch. To be totally honest, I didn't care. She was cheating on me, so quite frankly, I don't think she has anything to bitch about because that's the biggest put down anyone can give. Aaron and I headed off to Study Hall as usual that morning. I had enough self control to sit in my normal seat today. Charlie kept trying to throw insults at me, but I just sat there, staring down at my papers. I had done all my homework in my classes, so I had nothing to do. "Hey Combs...your girlfriend told me about what you said to her yesterday. Don't be fooled by her lies...she's really only with you for sex, but since you're not putting out, she's figuring she's going to leave you soon." Charlie said. I didn't say anything to that. Fine. Let her leave. I continued to stare fixedly at the pencil I was spinning around in my hand. "She couldn't stop moaning my name...it was hot. You should have been there. You could have watched."
"Sorry, scrawny dicks just don't do it for me." I replied. Charlie shook his head laughing.
"You slay me, Combs. You really do. One day I'm going to show you that you're wrong about me." he said. I looked over at Aaron.
"I think the gay man in him is finally shining through." I said. Aaron let out a chuckle and punched in a math equation in his calculator.
"One day guys, maybe someday soon, we're going to beat the living shit out of him." Brad said with a smile.
"Go for it, guys. I really don't care." I replied, going back to my pencil. They all looked surprised that I didn't have a witty, smart ass comeback to their threat.
"Aw, little Combs is depressed that his girl's off banging the shit out of other guys." Charlie said, laughing. I looked over at him for the first time since I came into that room.
"Yeah, I'm feeling pretty shitty because I actually liked her...yeah, I don't want her to leave...but if she gets around as much as Brad's mom does, then I'm happy that I'm not getting whatever STD she could possibly have." I said. Brad looked livid.
"What did I tell you about my mom?" he asked in a menacing way.
"That she was a great fuck?" I answered with a shrug.
"You really have no room to talk, Combs! I bet you're still a virgin. You wouldn't know a great fuck even if she danced naked in front of you."
"Yeah...you're right...your mom didn't do that."
"So you admit it...you're seventeen years old and you're still a virgin!" Brad exclaimed quietly.
"Yeah, I'm admitting it. I don't really care who knows about it, Brad. In case you haven't noticed, I don't give a flying shit about my social status." Brad started laughing.
"Oh man...wait 'till this shit gets out." he said, leaning back and laughing. I shrugged.
"At least my first time won't be with my dog." He stopped laughing and glared at me.
"My first time was five years ago with my neighbor." he retorted. I held up my hands.
"Whatever man, it's your life. If you get off that way, that's cool." I said.
At lunch, I was exceptionally quiet because I didn't feel like talking to anyone. Joel fielded everyone's questions of what was wrong by telling them that I was just having a bad day and that it would all blow over soon. I couldn't get the thought of Terrie out of my mind. I couldn't stop thinking about how she whored herself out. I gave her my all and she just lied to me in return. How long had this been going on? I called Aaron over to me and decided to ask him about it. "I first saw her with him around...eight months ago probably?" he told me. I clenched my teeth, making the muscle in my jaw more pronounced. Aaron put an arm around my shoulders. "Smile, dude...calm down." I looked over at Aaron with my jaw still clenched.
"I figured out what I'm going to do, Aaron." I said.
"You're going to end it with her?"
"No. I'm going to fucking kill him." I replied. With that, I got up, threw the rest of my lunch out and walked away.
"Benji! Benj!" he yelled after me. I ignored his calls and just went to my fifth hour. Flashbacks of the conversation Paul and I had just yesterday played themselves over in my mind.
"How you just get away so easily is a mystery to me."
"Charisma, my dear friend...and a lot of it..."
"Combs! Thomas! Quiet or I'll have you do a fifty thousand word essay on the Soviet Union: Rise and Fall."
"And how many pages would that be exactly?"
"Shut up, Combs."
"You got it, Teach."
"I wish I had that much charisma...if that were me, I'd be doomed for the next month writing that damn essay." He was right...I did get away with a lot of shit.
If I planned it just right, I could get a lesser sentence for this prick if I ever was caught. During seventh hour, I had to deal with Aaron telling me not to do anything stupid or I could regret it. I smiled and looked over at him. "Lucky for me I'm a smart guy." I said.
"Benj, please...just dump her. Or if you don't want to get rid of her, at least talk to her about it. Just say that you heard rumors about her and Charlie and talk to her about it." he reasoned. I sighed.
"Maybe you're right. I'll try talking to her about it tonight I guess. No sense in fucking up my life right now, right? I mean, if I just talk to her, we could get all this straightened out the easy way." I said. He let out a sigh of relief.
"Thank you for listening to me, Benj." I nodded.
"You're a great friend, Aaron."
After school, I pretended as if nothing were wrong. I still wouldn't let Terrie kiss me, but I told her that I was still sick. I couldn't talk to her at the park we were at because too many people would keep bothering us if we tried to talk in private. For the time being, I stuck to just hanging out with my friends. Everything turned for the worst when Brad and his minions showed up at the park as well. They made their way over to our group and stopped right next to us. "Alright Combs, get up." Brad said, punching his fist into the palm of his other hand. I looked up at him and rolled my eyes.
"Get away from me you fag." I said. He grabbed me by my shirt collar and pulled me to my feet, only to punch me across the jaw, sending me right back down to the ground. Paul, Aaron, Joel and Terrie all stood up, ready to fight them if they tried swinging again. I got up and staggered lightly, but returned to my full stature as if I were fine.
"You're a bigger idiot than I thought if you think you can just come over to a group of friends, start beating one of them up and not expect the rest of them to do something." Joel said. I grinned. He was so funny when he was trying to be a badass.
"We'll get you, Combs." Brad said, pointing a finger in my face before leaving. Paul turned to me.
"Are you alright?" he asked. I nodded and moved my jaw around in all the directions it could.
"Everything works...we're good!" I said, sitting down again.
"They are such thickheaded pricks." Terrie said. I fought the urge to yell; 'Shut the fuck up, you hypocritical bitch! You're fucking one of them!' and just sat there, leaning back in the reclining position, putting all my weight on my hands behind me. Why was I still putting up with her anyway? Why don't I just do what Aaron suggested and break it off with her? I loved her. That was why I was sitting here just taking the abuse of the knowledge as if nothing were wrong. I looked over at her. She was the most beautiful thing in my life, but she was plagued. She was plagued with lies and I should have known better. How could something that appeared to be so perfect be in my life? It couldn't. There always had to be a flaw. She caught me staring and just smiled at me. I grinned back and just kept watching her. She was almost my everything...and I wasn't going to let her go.
I walked over to Terrie's house that night before it started pouring. I knocked on the door, but her mom answered it. I gave her my most charming Madden Smile, as others call it, and asked for Terrie. "Oh, I'm sorry Benjamin, she's over at her friend Charlie's house doing their French homework." she said. I fought to keep that smile on my face and keep my composure.
"Oh, alright then...thanks anyway Mrs. S." I replied. She smiled and shut the door. I stood there for a second before walking back out to the road. Little pellets of rain started to fall as the night pressed on. I walked back to my house and slumped down onto the couch. No one was home except for Joel and he was upstairs. I looked over at the kitchen at the knives that were on the counter in one of those knife holder blocks. I got up, walked over to it and took out the butcher's knife, admiring the way it glinted in the light. Deciding it was too big to conceal, I went two knife sizes down and admired the way that one glinted. I looked up at me and Joel's room through the ceiling. "Forgive me, Joel...God forgive me...but it's got to be done." I whispered. I tucked the knife in my belt, hiding the blade in a black bandana and put it in my pocket. I started to make my way through the pouring rain to Charlie's house. I had passed by it a few times when he was outside, so I knew where to go. A bolt of lightning flashed illuminating the sky just before a growl of thunder sounded. I trudged on, knowing what I had to do.
I was standing outside Charlie's bedroom window looking in. It took me a few tries to find it, but I finally did. Thanks to my wearing all black, I couldn't be seen by other people. I could feel the adrenalin pumping through my veins, causing my breathing to increase. The only color I could see was red; that dark blood red that you would see pooling at a cut or something. I could see her with him. He was straddling her hips, pinning her hands over her head, kissing her and sucking on her neck. Tears of pure fury were blurring my vision. I watched as he moved one hand down to undo her pants. They looked so comfortable...so in sync...they've obviously done this before. That was something I knew, but didn't really want to believe. A flash of lightning went off in the distance, just barely lighting up the spot I was in. They didn't notice me. They were already down to their underwear and my hands were shaking in anger. I was refraining from banging on the window, breaking it, and beating the living shit out of him. He kissed his way down to her hips and hooked his finger around the hem of her thong. She turned her head towards the window, looking down at him, expression of ecstasy on her face. Another flash of lighting went throughout the sky, closer this time. Her eyes snapped over to the window, but just as quick as the lightning came, it went, leaving me in the darkness again. She stopped him and he looked over at the window as well. I couldn't help but grin. They know I'm here.
"I swear, Charlie, there's something at the window...I just saw it." I said. He moved back up and kissed me.
"It was probably just your imagination, babe." he mumbled. I pushed him off and put on his shirt, walking over to the window. I peered out of it, looking for whatever it was that I saw. Charlie walked up behind me, still in his boxers, and watched me. "There's nothing out there. Come back to bed." I looked back at him and then back at the window unsurely. Lightning struck and lit up the place. Someone was staring back at me, hands on his knees, leaning over to be eyelevel with me. I fell back from being startled and scurried away from the window in a sort of crabwalk.
"Shit! It's Benji!" I exclaimed. I got up quickly and grabbed my clothes. Charlie looked from the window to me in confusion.
"What?" he asked, going over to the window and looking out. "I don't see anything."
"Oh God...fuck, fuck, fuck! I knew I had a bad feeling about tonight." I said.
"Babe! There's no one there!" he said loudly, I stopped and looked at him. He had the window open and was pointing out it. I stared at him with wide eyes.
"Shut that window." I ordered.
"Shut that window right now!" I said a little louder. He shut it, closed the latch to lock it and pulled the shade down. I got my pants on and switched his shirt with mine.
"Where are you going?" he asked.
"I'm leaving." I answered.
"What? All because your imagination had a spasm?" I stopped and I stared at him.
After Terrie saw me, I quickly went around back to look for an entry point. I took the bandana that was covering the knife blade out and used it to try to open one of the sliding glass doors that I found. Luckily, the stupid bastard hadn't locked it yet. I quietly slid it open and closed, putting the bandana back in my pocket and silently followed the bickering voices. I reached the slightly open door to hear and watch the end of their conversation.
"I know what I saw, Charlie. Benji was standing out there and just...that look on his face freaked me out." He walked over to her and tried to wrap his arms around her.
"Well, he's not there now." he said. She pushed him off.
"Maybe next time, Charlie." I took that as my cue and put a finger on the door, pushing it open. It made a high creaking sound as it swung open, so it caused them to look over at me. I leaned against the doorframe with my hand in the pocket that didn't have the knife in it.
"Yeah, Charlie...maybe next time." I said. Terrie looked completely scared and Charlie just looked between pissed and puzzled.
"Benji." she said.
"How the fuck did you get in here, Combs?" Charlie asked. I grinned and nodded back to the doors.
"Slider was open. Might I say that you have a lovely house. It's so /clean/. Give your mom my compliments." I answered.
"Get out of my house."
"Get away from my girlfriend."
"She came to me!" Terrie looked at him with a scowl and then back at me.
"Benj, I can explain."
"Terrie, if you know what's good for you, you'll shut up right about now." I said.
"Don't talk to her like that."
"Don't tell me how to treat her. I was treating her just fine, but if she wants to treat me like shit, well...two can play at that game." She shook her head.
"Benj, no...I have a reason." I glared at her.
"I know your reason. Now shut. Up." I hissed. I looked back over at Charlie. "I've had to put up with your shit in school and now I have to put up with you fucking my girlfriend. I've known about this for sometime now...I didn't believe it at first, but then I realized that it was true. I was never sick, Terrie. I just couldn't stand the thought of your mouth on some other guy's dick and then you kissing me later." She was crying now and it killed me to see it, but I had to pretend that I wasn't affected in the slightest. Charlie let out a little laugh at my last comment. "I wouldn't be laughing if I were you, /Chuck/. I was going to talk to you about this, Terrie...in fact, I was going to talk to you about it tonight. I went over to your house, but your mom said you were here. So now, here I am...and here you are." I pulled the knife out of my pocket. Charlie's eyes went wide, as did Terrie's.
"Benji, please...no. Please don't do anything, Benji." Terrie begged.
"You said that you were going to show me what you were really like, right Charlie? Well, now's my chance to see it. I get to see you cry like the little shit that you are." I sneered.
"Benj, I know I've given you shit in the past, I know that...and I'm sorry. I won't say anything to you anymore. I'll even get Brad and the rest of the guys to lay off of you. I swear I will." he said. "Just please don't kill me." he begged. I smiled.
"Wow...it's amusing to hear you say that. You don't regret making fun of me...I know you don't. You just regret doing it to my face. You don't regret fucking my girlfriend...you just regret telling me about it. Some people regret things so much, that they die from it. Did you know that?" His eyes went wide as I plunged the knife into his stomach, all the way up to the handle. Terrie muffled her scream by putting her hands over her mouth. I looked at her. "Sh. Don't scream. If you scream, the neighbors will hear and get suspicious." I looked back at Charlie and pulled the knife out. He fell to the floor where I stabbed him several more times. I loved the sound that was made when the blade was ripping open his flesh and burying itself deep within his body only to make the same noise coming back out. I stopped and looked over at Terrie who still had her hands over her mouth.
"I think I'm going to be sick." she mumbled.
"Oh no you're not. If you throw up in here, you'll get your DNA everywhere and then they'll think you did it. Just go with me on this, alright? Go home. Don't cry anymore. You have to pretend like everything's okay."
"Pretend that everything's okay?? Benj, I just watched you kill a guy in front of me!" she exclaimed quietly. I stabbed the knife back into Charlie's dead body, got off of him and went over to her. I gave her a deep, passionate kiss, like I've never kissed her before.
"Listen to me, alright? Please don't cry. I'll take care of this. I killed him because I love you and I don't ever want to lose you. You know that this isn't in my nature so you know that this really struck a nerve with me. I love you so, so much...more than you'll ever know. I'll take care of everything, but you have to pretend that I was never here, that this never happened. Alright?" She nodded. "Now go downstairs and go home. Smile, laugh...act as if nothing's wrong. Just go home and be quiet. You can touch whatever you want because you were supposed to be over here, but don't say anything about tonight." She nodded again. I gave her another kiss. "Go." She got up and left, leaving me to clean up after myself.