Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Perspective

The Next Dark Lord

by Smichiko 0 Reviews

Harry Potter's had enough.

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor - Characters: Harry,Luna - Published: 2008/02/18 - Updated: 2008/02/18 - 621 words

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Warnings: Bad language.



Harry Potter didn't want much. He didn't want an award, recognition, or anything like that. He didn't even want people to like him, really.

He just wanted to be left the hell alone.

That wasn't too much to ask, was it? He didn't think so. But, apparently, the rest of the world--the press especially--didn't agree. He couldn't even go to work without reporters and photographers following him everywhere. They'd already been banned from the Ministry, but that didn't stop them. They were most certainly creative, he had to concede. No matter where he hid or how hard he worked to cover his tracks, they always seemed to find him. He wondered if they'd installed some sort of tracking device in him when he was born.

It didn't seem to bother Luna too much, being married to the Wizarding world's savior. She took heavy criticism from the social column, especially, but it never seemed to faze her. She was rather adept at dodging the press; Harry was thankful for that. Not only that, but she also had the ability to do an interview without answering a single question. By the time they were finished, the reporters were too busy considering whether their garden might be infested with some insect they'd never heard of to worry much about Harry or his home life.

Having Luna around was almost like having a shield; but still, it wasn't enough. She couldn't be around all the time, and Harry was so fed up that he was afraid of doing something drastic. He felt like he might snap at any time.

He finally settled on talking to Luna about it. That usually seemed to help matters.

"Yes, it is rather annoying," Luna agreed from across the table, stirring her tea methodically.

"Maddening is more like it," Harry responded. Luna just stared at him, grinning like a mad woman. Harry cocked an eyebrow.

"It's been over five years. Why can't they leave me the bloody hell alone?"

"Well, you're always going to be famous, Harry, there's no changing that." She kept staring at him, her eyes widening a bit more, as she stopped stirring her tea. She looked away for a moment, reaching down to pick up her tea cup.

"You know, I noticed that there were never reporters clamoring to interview You-Know-Who," she said offhandedly, just before taking a sip.

"Yes, well, that's because they were all afraid of--"

Harry cut off, the impact of her words finally hitting him. Luna smiled back at him, taking another sip of tea. "Luna, you're a genius," he said, grinning from ear to ear as he hopped up to kiss her on the cheek.

Becoming an evil overlord was surprisingly easier than it looked. Some money in the right hands, and he was well on his way--evil minions, a fearsome name, a secret lair, the works.

Luna's connection to the press made it easier. A few front page stories about the evil deeds he'd supposedly done seemed to do it. Then it was just a matter of retreating into hiding and evading the ministry, which was really no problem, considering the number of friends he had on the inside.

After that, it was only a matter of remaining mysteriously silent for a while, coming up with some crackpot take-over-the-world schemes every now and then, and sitting back to watch the reaction. It was the least work he'd ever have to do in his life. He honestly wondered why he hadn't thought of it earlier.

Harry Potter just wanted to be left alone. And if instilling fear in the Wizarding community was the only way he could get some goddamn peace and quiet, he was all for it.
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