"We are broken! What must we do to restore our innocence and all the promise we adored? Give us life again, 'cause we just wanna be whole..." Months later, Brendon will admit to me that when we san...
And I'm quite away we're dying.
And your hands, they shake the good-bye,
And I'll take you back if you'd have me...
Brendon led me to the bench outside the music department. He sat next to me with his legs crossed and one arm wrapped around my shoulders, the other was holding my books.
I looked at him briefly but when he turned to me, I glanced away.
"Ann, you don't have to be afraid of me," he said to me. His hand left my books and traveled to the hem of my A-line skirt. He fiddled with it as he spoke.
"I don't think I ever told you but I'm sorry," he said, "for everything. You know, for..." he paused, "for hitting you that night."
His eyes flashed sadness but it disappeared as quickly as lightening. Then I heard it.
Distant thunder sounded a few miles away and the dark clouds came in. Within minutes of silence between us, light rain was beginning to spray the parking lot.
I stared out toward the storm that was blowing in, memorized. I had waited so long for his apology but my words were left in my mind, I couldn't actually verbalize them.
"Annabelle?" he questioned, then my eyes were brought back to him.
"Wanna dance in the rain with me?" I asked. It was something we hadn't done since I was in school.
I dashed out into the rain once it got harder. It felt good against my warm skin but the cardigan was in the way. I stopped running under the streetlight and took it off, tossing it to the ground revealing the white tank top underneath. I started to sway and sing.
"I am outside and I've been waiting for the sun with my wide eyes, I've seen worlds that don't belong."
Salty tears mixed in with the rain my face.
"My mouth is dry with words I cannot verbalize. Tell me why we live like this."
I paused and glanced toward the bench. Then I saw Brendon walking towards me. Once he reached me, I noticed a different expression in his eyes. Carelessness. He wanted to be a teenager again with no responsibility. He wanted to be young with me.
He grabbed my hand and swirled me around.
"Finish," he whispered. He wrapped his arms around my waist, knowing what line was coming up next.
"Keep me safe inside your arms like towers; tower over me...yeah." He joined in at the chorus.
"'Cause we are broken! What must we do to restore our innocence ad all the promise we adored? Give us life again, 'cause we just wanna be whole!"
Months later, Brendon will admit to me that when we sang this chorus and even though he didn’t buy the whole religion thing, this was his first prayer in a long time.
"I promise you," he started, "you will always be safe with me."
It clicked. After all the broken promises and smashed trust, I believed him.
Brendon pressed his hand against the small of my back and swayed my body with his. Our hips matched the rough rhythm.
"Lock the door 'cause I'd like to capture this voice that came to me tonight..."
He smoothed his hand over my backside while swaying my body back and forth under the light.
"Brendon," I sighed, just to hear his name.
He pulled me closer to him, even though there was no space between us to fill.
We danced more, f you could call it that, in silence. My head was resting against his shoulder and his arms were at my hips. The storm around us was beginning to get worse.
"Maybe we should get out of here," Brendon said once the wind picked up.
I nodded in response.
He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and began to walk toward his black Escalade.
I hopped into the passenger seat as he pushed my things in the middle of us. The black truck disappeared into the night.
His huge apartment building stared down at me in the truck.
"You want to come in?" he asked me shyly. His hand covered mine on the gear shift.
"Ummm..." I was still a little hesitant to be alone with him. It was probably just nerves. "Yeah."
I followed him into the empty elevator and onto the top floor.
His apartment still looked the same when I last saw it. The TV was still diagonal from the couch. The A Fever You Can't Sweat Out album cover was still above the couch; I had hung it there when he moved in. But my favorite place in his house caught my attention. The balcony. I walked toward it, unlocked the door and stood in the rain. The lights of Vegas were my view. Perfect. The little world was still functioning even in the rain. Brendon stood with me.
"Beautiful huh," he said.
I felt the heat of his body wrap around me from behind. He stood behind me now, arms on either side of me, gripping the bars.
His hands swept up my thigh, unexpectedly.
"Let me kiss you," he whispered in my ear.
I turned around in his arms. His lips softly pressed against mine. His hands traveled to my face and cupped it as he kissed. His warm, wet tongue tasted sweet. I was beginning to let him have me.
"Inside," I sighed into his mouth.
His body pushed mine into the dimly lit living room.
I could feel his hands leaving little rain drops on skin untouched by the storm.
My back smashed against the wall. He was getting rough but I didn't complain. He kissed me harder and I felt his passion. I let a moan slip from between my lips as he lightly sucked my neck. He gripped my thighs and lifted me against the wall. His hips fit perfectly between my legs.
"Bed?" he asked. I let out another moan in response. He gripped me harder and I wrapped my legs around him as he walked us to the bedroom.
He laid me down softly and took off his shirt. My body began to crave him as he moved closer to the bed and me. I laid there waiting for him. It was dark so I closed my eyes, waiting.
I felt Brendon's fingers first. They trailed up my legs and brushed against my panties. They went further up my body; taking off my top and rubbing my hard nipples through the light pink bra.
/The panties! Take them off!/, my mind was screaming. I was about to let those exact words slip out of my mouth when his kisses started again on my stomach, slowly moving up my torso. His hands were busy with the latch of my bra. He removed it slyly once unhooked.
His lips wrapped around my nipples, his tongue swirling around them. He sucked on them, his teeth nibbling ever so lightly.
He slid off of me suddenly.
"What?" I asked, breathlessly.
I saw his black hair moving in the light of the candle.
“Nothing.” His hands reached down for his belt buckle; the one I bought him at Hot Topic years ago. He slowly let down his jeans then crawled back on me.
“Good morning,” Brendon whispered in my ear in that cliché movie way.
I rolled over in all of my post-sex morning glory and smirked. His hair was still moist from a shower and he had on a fresh pair on pajama pants.
“Hey,” I whispered back to him.
Once again, I was stuck. I couldn’t find my words for my life and I laid there, naked and shy about it. He raised his hand to smooth my curls out of my face.
“So,” he started, “how did you sleep?”
I could tell he was pretty nervous about this whole thing. I mean, what were we going to tell the guys and especially his parents who damn near forbid me to see him, let alone sleep with him?
I smiled even harder knowing I wasn’t the only one who felt a little awkward.
“Okay.” He smiled and kissed my forehead. Then it hit me…last year, around this time the exact same thing happened. Expect things were extremely awkward due to the fact that it was my first and all…he even smoothed my hair the same, kissed me the same and smiled the same. Hmmm, maybe prayers are heard after all.
“Annie, my parents are coming to see me in a while. You know, to see how I’m doing.” My smile fell and I gripped the covers around my body and swung my legs over the bed. This didn’t happen last year.
“I’ll go, don’t worry. I’ll catch---’’ He shut my mouth with his.
“No, you’re gonna stay and take a shower and do whatever you want. They’ll have to get over it.”
His hand guided me back down to his dark blue sheets. He slipped off his pants and matched his body with mine. I closed my thoughts of his parents and listened to his heart. My eyes fluttered and I caught his breathing out of habit.
“You know I really missed you B. I missed this.”
“I did too.”
Come on let me hold you,
So you guys, if you really love this story and my feelings you guys will rate right? Oh please do. I'm beginning to think that I shouldn't continue this story. Oh yeah, this is my first "sex scene" so don't make fun. It'll probably be the only one in this story so yeah...Thanks, AhhMay