She would do anything for him. Anything to be more than friends and less than lovers.
A Death Note fanfiction by Sir Psycho Sexy
A/N: Takes place during and after the episode titled “Confession”. Nice little introspective Misa-fic, I’m going to label it as a Light/Misa pairing to be safe. Contains some references to forced sex and femslash, but it’s only there a little (in Misa’s head).
I think Misa deserves more fic, and more love. Hence I wrote this. Enjoy!
Amane Misa knew who she was in love with before she had even met them, or known what their face looked like. She had dated, even slept with, other people, but nothing sent paroxysms of joy down her spine like that one little name repeated every night on the news:
He or she (she didn’t know which at the time) was her knight in shining armor, her reason for living, her reason for picking up that black notebook one day and signing over half of her own life for shinigami eyes. She would make contact, and find out what kind of person he or she was- she was prepared for either a man or a woman, and would love them regardless of gender, because they were her hero for killing the man who had cruelly taken away her parents.
Sitting in the Blue Note café in Aoyama in disguise, she noted that her hero was, in fact, a boy. A cute boy, at that. A quick name search online to clarify the kanji she saw over his head rendered his name as Yagami Light, Mr. To-oh. She quickly pronounced his heavenly, rare name to herself, as she prepared herself to pay a visit to his house.
The confrontation with Light in his bedroom was fraught with misunderstanding, but Misa didn’t care. She would do anything for him; she had already traded her eyes and put her own life in danger for him. She would gladly die for him; she would gladly kill even her best friends for him. She was willing to leave it all behind. When he finally hugged her after she explained her situation to him, she was exhilarated, half because he might somewhere down the road fall in love with her, and half because, at that moment, Misa thought that she would feel his wrath, his unrelenting fury, in the form of him forcing himself on her. That thought made her smile inwardly; she could be of use to him if he raped her, let out all of his sadistic frustration over the current lack of utopia on her poor, weak body.
But, surprisingly for Misa, who was lost in her rape fantasy, he did nothing, and merely stated that they act like boyfriend and girlfriend in public, to avoid suspicion for the both of them. That would do, that would be second-best. As long as she was his eyes, she did not care if any of her twisted thoughts of love would ever come true. She would make all of Japan- no, the whole world- see what a brilliant person Kira was, show them how much the world needed him, how much the world needed purity and resolve and justice. And with this thought, along with her masochistic ideals of love, she kept on going in the workaday world of photo shoots and banal interviews, knowing that, someday, Light would be hers, and the world would be in his palms.
Amane Misa left the Yagami household with a sense that she and Light were somehow more than friends, and yet, less than lovers, with the gap in between the two spurring her conscience on.