Categories > Original > Humor1 Reviews
Its Christmas, and Riley and his friends go shopping... Swearing
“Ouch, that hurt Ruby.”
“Serves you right!”
Ruby stuck out her tongue at me and darted out of the way of my hand which I brought down on the pavement to the left of her face. All I’d done was to ask how things were going with Frank, and she’d slapped me! Honestly, the nerve of some people.
I looked up and saw Tom, Eva and Lily laughing at me. I suppose I deserved it a little for getting owned by a girl, but I mean, it was Christmas.
“Where do we need to go next?” asked Eva as Tom pulled me up.
“I need to get a present for Frank...”
“You’re bloody obsessed woman!” I said in mock horror.
This earned me another slap.
“Ok, ok, geroff me!”
“Come off it Riley, I mean, she’s allowed to be obsessed, she’s only just got a boyfriend aged 15...”
Tom dodged and ducked under Ruby’s fist which made a dull thud against the lamppost.
“I only turned 15 six days ago Tom, and I’ve been going out with Frank 6 weeks on Christmas Day, so fuck off.”
Ruby’s 15th was quite fun actually. We went to see this awesome film about some bank heist, then we went to Frankie and Benny’s and they played that crappy Cliff Richard song for her and gave her a birthday cake. Only Frank was there and the two of them were constantly lip locking. Which doesn’t make for the most interesting conversation.
Plus I had to keep an eye on Tom who had his fists clenched under the table. He really doesn’t like Frank. The two of them had this huge fight last year over some girl (Rebecca I think her name was) and Frank broke Tom’s nose. It was obviously an accident, but Tom was still sore about it. Tom’s the kind of guy who falls in and out of love within a week, but Rebecca is the exception to that rule. He’s always liked her a good deal, and he was already planning what to do for her for Valentines. He’s vain like that. Fixing his fringe every moment of the day and borrowing Eva’s mirror every time, cos he thinks carrying a mirror will make him look gay.
“Actually, come to think of it, I need to go to the print shop and pick up Luke’s t-shirt.”
Luke is Eva’s older brother who uses her as a sort of pack mule and sends her on all his errands cos he’s too lazy to get off his big fat arse.
“Can we swing past Vibes on the way?”
Lily looked at me pleadingly. I don’t know why. I’m the eldest (my birthday’s October 5th) but that doesn’t make them respect me anymore than they would anyone else.
“I don’t know.” I said evilly. “I mean, don’t you need to get home. That fender will be there for ages. Unless someone buys it...”
Lily has this thing about guitars. She’s a pretty awesome guitarist, but she only has a rubbish old acoustic one that her Gran lent her. I think she really wants to be a guitarist in a band (her idol is this guy called Terry Balsamo from some Goth band called Evanescence) but we’re all fairly hopeless at that kind of music. Ruby sings a bit, and Eva drums out any rhythm she gets into her head on the nearest object (which is often Tom’s head, which makes a surprisingly good sound due to it being hollow and full of dust) but I don’t know about myself and Tom.
She looked at me again pouting and doing these puppy dog eyes that you just can’t resist, and I laughed and pretended like I was going to pet her.
“I guess we could go if we were very quick...”
You could practically see her jumping in joy. For a second, she looked like she was going to kiss me, but thought better of it.
She’s the youngest of all of us (her birthday’s in August) and sometimes lets her emotions get the better of her, but she’s a good kid really.
We practically ran down the hill to Vibes and waited by the window while Eva popped next door to collect the t-shirt for her brother.
“Can we go in?”
“No, it would be completely impossible for us to open the door and step over the threshold of the shop that remains open for a good hour and a half. Of course we can bloody well go in.”
I think we spent the best part of an hour in the shop. The guy who runs it, Rick, was only too happy to let Lily have a go on practically every guitar in the shop. Eva sat in the middle of the floor gazing at the drum kit they’d just got in, while Ruby, Tom and I looked through song books.
After that, I couldn’t be arsed to walk around town any longer, so I said goodbye to the others and caught the bus home.
Later, I was on MSN and Eva was whining about how she would never get a boyfriend and I was attempting to comfort her, when my mum asked me what I wanted for Christmas. She’d been bugging me about it for weeks and I was willing to say anything to get her off my back.
“Just get me a bloody bass Mum, that’s all I want for Christmas this year. Ok! A bass.”
Then I went to bed, and dreamed music and bass guitars. To this day, I think that must have been the day that my life changed forever.