Categories > Anime/Manga > Pokemon > Birds6 Reviews
Learning life's little lessons is hard. Especially if you are on the top. But the most inconsequential things can bring you down. A regional champion takes on Violet City's Falkner and gets taught ...
(#) Welsh-Charizard 2006-02-13 02:32:51 AMWow, I guess some birds can really suprise you. Loved the short, to the point back story and going through the Johto gyms backwards, hmmm I may consider that myself later in my story, although I hope my character doesn't end up arrogant like the one in this story. Great work.
Author\'s Response: Heh, yeah, I don't think Josie's going to get into trouble that way. She's much too nice. Really, I just wrote that in order to figure out why gym leaders always challenge you with pokemon of just the right level, and are inevitably beaten. Anyway, thanks for reviewing the one shot. It's very much appreciated.
(#) Nyaa-Neko 2006-06-11 05:53:29 PMWow! Mori-chan, this was really good! I liked how the main character really felt like a normal thirteen/fourteen-year-old girl. I think that a lot of people are like her, kind of arrogant, a little bit overconfident, and like to have the weaker edge so they look strong when they come out on top.
I also like that it took place in Violet City, and your portrayal of Violet City and all of Johto. The main fic I'm planning takes place there, so it was helpful to see somebody else's fic take place in that city!
The only thing I didn't like was your Falkner. I always imagined him to be older and less scruffy, but I guess that's just me.
Author's responseWell, he's only just supposed to have taken over from his father, and everyone is saying how great it is that such a young kid is so responsible, so I figure he's around fifteen, or sixteen -- just the right age for an introverted kid to start getting vaguely agressive, and hovering between mature and imature. As for the scruffy -- Compared to the other Johto gym leaders he really is. I mean, if you look at their sprites Pryce is the only other one who is less than gleaming. Also, remember, you're viewing this through the trainer's filter -- she's from modern Kanto, and Falkner's old fashioned clothes look pretty ratty to her polyester trained eye.
But I don't mean to beat up on him, NN-chan. Falkner's my favorite gym leader out of every game (favorite elite four member is Will, hands down). And I love Johto more than the other regions, too. Be careful when you look at my stuff, I'm predjudiced towards Johto, and so I tend to romanticize it a bit.
Anyway, if you're looking for more stories to give you inspiration might I recommend: "Xanthic Growlithe Contract: Johto" by Facia on Fanfiction.net, also "Clouded Sky" by Negrek, the Lighthouse challenge chapters (heck, the whole thing is good, but the Lighthouse challenge gives some really good perspective on Olivine's history -- while the rest is more about her made up region, Waytar). Sadly, I don't know of many fanfics that take place particularly in Violet -- again one of my favorite places -- it's just not a common setting I suppose.
(#) Giant_Brother 2006-07-28 01:07:04 PMI like this, it gives an interesting view on what the gym leaders in earlier cities are actually capable of. It was well written and you got inside the head of the trainer narrating.
Author's responseThank you very much. I'd really like to see more gym leader fics out there, as the gym leaders don't seem to have anything to do, but hang around and wait for people to beat them. Someone should speak up, I feel.
- This was incredibly well done and original. Your trainer is somewhat arrogant yet you really don't go overboard with it, especially since it's not like it's baseless. You can almost see how it develops as she keeps winning again and again. She perfectly captures the sort of attitude a lot of game players have without going into caricature, and the narration is just perfect. I really loved the way you summed up the different places and battles. A lot of people fall back on general, forgettable description, but yours were so vivid and telling. The bit about the Whirl Islands was really memorable. The small details of the battle were brilliant too, like Falkner giving orders on which of the dodrio's heads was to lead and the murkrow's waterproof wings, as was the general flow. A lot of people write the whole trainer-who-takes-a-fall thing with them being utterly crushed by someone well above their level, and it's much more impressive when it's done as a close battle where you can see them lose and how they could have won.
(#) Faeriegirl 2007-05-15 07:11:01 AMAnother amazing one! I am in love with your descriptions of Jhoto, it is SO the best area, gold/silver/crystal were the best games I think... You make the place seem real instead of just a place in a game. I really want to go run around Jhoto now, but I lost my game :'( O yea, do one about Ecrutiac cos it is the best city in any of the games ever :) Oh, and you pointed out something I've never noticed, how much more modern Kanto is. Yea, rambling now, so thanks for an amazing story!