Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Heart of the Warrior Book VI

Chapter 45: The Shredder's Final Countdown

by madnesspersonified 1 Reviews

TMNT 2003/Harry Potter Crossover. Sequel to Books I through V. With enemies coming from all directions, Harry Potter will need all the help he can get.

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: R - Genres: Crossover,Drama,Sci-fi - Characters: Dumbledore,Ginny,Harry,Lily,Snape,Voldemort - Warnings: [!!] [V] [?] - Published: 2008/04/07 - Updated: 2008/04/07 - 5343 words - Complete

Reviews

  • Heart of the Warrior Book VI

    (#) Chunky 2008-04-07 03:37:20 PM

    Greetings Madness,

    I'm sorry to mention this to you here, since I haven't really read anything you have written since about end of Book II. Sorry about that. But I thought here is the chance of you actually reading a review. So:

    The story you wrote is quite good, no doubt about it. I even like the style. BUT. There is one tiny issue that you might consider minor, but vexxes me so much my brain refused to read on. To put it simple: The word 'leaped'. Your story is full of fight-scenes and every third seemes to be 'leaped'... PLEASE for Athenas sake, edit that one... It makes the scenes apear like they are written by a four year old, sorry to tell you.

    I don't mean to insult, but in my opinion, it seriously ruins the flow of the story. I hope you can do something about it. If you need help, ask me. I'd reread your storys all over again to fix this tiny issue of yours and maybe make it worthwhile reading.

    Again, sorry for beeing so harsh,

    --Chunky

    Author's response

    I see what you mean, as I read through. I picked a random chapter of Book One(well not what random, as it had a fight scene) and I saw that particular word (no joke) thirty four times. That made me shudder, but I was going to do some edits on the earlier books on a few things that bugged me as well. Thankfully, as I got through the books, that word seemed to occur less, but at least I've eliminated most if not all(there may have been a few that slipped through the cracks). As you might have noticed, there are updated versions of books with that word eliminated, along other things edited that annoyed me. I suspect after Book VII is done, I'll give the books another read over and find a whole list of things that annoy me, but what can you do :).

    Thanks for Reading and Thanks for the Review,

    MadnessPersonified.

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