- It was hardly a bad action scene -- better a little less detail than a blow-by-blow overly-detailed sequence that is so boring none of it seems to matter
Author's responseThanks for your feedback, I was concerned because I really don't have a lot of experience writing action scenes; and it didn't seem to flow the way I wanted it to.
- Hi, Red,
I'm enjoying where you take this. I don't think you owe any apologies for the chapter.
I do, however, have one nitpick: right after you talked about stuff from the room disappearing, you had Hermione ask for some paper for a list. Surely she has parchment and quill on her at all times....
I'm glad Snape's dead. Too bad he was so noble; he doesn't deserve to be remembered as a hero. :P
I'm looking forward to what comes next.
Author's responseThanks; and you are right about the paper thing; I meant to include a comment from Hermione saying that she'd leave the paper in the room, so nobody could find it but them.
I actually wasn't planning on killing Snape so early; but, it just happened.
I'm just trying to make things different from every other re-do story; and; honestly, I was tired of Snape as a character. There really wasn't that many places to take the character that haven't been done to death.
Thanks again for your feedback
- Well I wasn't expecting Snape to die. Also thought when Nev tripped Harry there'd be burning going on. But you fooled me there lol
Very good story. I'm looking forward to the conversation with DD.
Author's responseHey! Glad to see a review from one of my favorite writers!
As mentioned above, I wasn't planning on killing Snape off so early, but, it fell out of my fingers onto the keyboard and just let it happen.
As for the burning; there was no actually skin contact, which is how I read the burning happening.
As for the conversation with Albus, I'm interested in seeing how it goes as well GRIN I've got some ideas, but won't know exactly what happens until I sit down to write the chapter.
- I think it must be like writing sex scenes...all keeping track of elbows and knees and stuff. So my hat's off to you, nobody wound up on the wrong side of the room with the reader going 'wait, wasn't he here???'.
Still love this point of view, and really enjoying smart, confident Neville.
Thanks for the more!
Author's responseActually; I find writing sex scenes easier, maybe because I like doing that far more than I like fighting GRIN
Thanks for the feedback
(#) sparky40sw 2008-04-21You are a little too hard on yourself - the action is adequate to the style of the story, and getting rid of both Quirrel and Snape in the same chapter is pure genius.
thanks for sharing
Author's responseThanks for the feedback. I'm glad you liked the latest chapter.
- 'Twas an adequate action scene for the style of story (the only time I really want a "blow by blow" description is with good porn ;) ).
That was an interesting way of dealing with both Quirrelmort and Snape and 'twill be quite interesting to see how things evolve now and how much Dumbles tells them for the nonce. Menawhile, I'm enjoying this version of Neville and I like what he's doing for both Harry and Hermione.
Author's responseThanks for your feedback, and I'm having a lot of fun with this version of Neville as well.
- Wow, that certainly was original... both Quirrel and Snape.
Who will take over DADA -- not to mention Potions? No Snape will certainly have impact; both at school and in regards to inteligence from DeathEathers/Voldemort.
When will they start to "put people down"? Who? Will they take just adults -- mainly those who "escaped" last time... or will they also go after those they know will be recruited (e.g. Draco)? If not, will they try to "save" them (e.g. Draco)?
Keep up the good work, and update soon.
Author's responseThanks for the feedback, and I hope to have at least one more chapter this weekend.
As for putting people down, right now they are planning to go after the adults, because most of the kids are still young enough that they might not follow in their fathers footsteps if the parents influence is removed. However, I'm sure that there are some of the offspring that are already beyond help, and will get their names on the list.
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