Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Tainted Shadows
This House Is Not A Home
0 reviewsSay hello to Mr. & Mrs. Way, while Gerard says hello to hell.
1Moving
AN: I'm completely revamping this story to make it better! I really hope you keep reading and like the changes!! tell me what you think!!
They were at it again. It hadn't been this bad in a long time. I couldn't believe my father's stupidity sometimes. Mix the lack of intelligence with booze and it proves itself to be a lethal combination. Everything had been fine before dinner. He actually was being nice to me and mom. He brought her flowers after work. He even asked us kids how school was. I lied of course. He didn't know about the bullies I faced. It was really strange. I should have known it wouldn't last very long. I guess I'm a fool for hoping that it would. I tried to draw earlier but the screaming got so intense I couldn't focus on anything worth shit. So I did what I always do. I hid in my bed. I was curled up in a ball in a cocoon of blankets. Thick, they made me sweat, but gave me comfort. I tried to block out the screaming from above. Thank god Mikey wasn't home. If I had only went with him. I wouldn't be stuck here. Today had been hell like always. Each day the insults got worse. It seemed amusing to the bastards. I never really had any friends after elementary. I don't know why, they just kind of abandoned me. I've always been strange, abnormal, different. I never really trusted anyone after that. All my former friends ditched me for popularity. I always thought there was something wrong with me. The only thing I started to take comfort in was pain. It was sickly satisfying. The scars just served as reminders of the awful fuck I really was. My attempts to block out the screaming upstairs weren't going so well.
"I NEVER LOVED YOU, YOU FUCKING WHORE! YOU STUPID SLUT, I SAW YOU SNEAKING AROUND WITH HIM!" my father's voice resonated the walls.
"FUCK YOU!, FUCK YOU! I LOVE YOU, YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT TRUE.", I could tell my mother was sobbing by her brokenness when she spoke.
"LIAR!"
I shook in terror. I never knew how bad the fights were going to be, but they seemed to get worse each time. Not even a second later I heard a body hit the floor. Oh no, Mom, I thought. I threw my blankets to the floor and rushed up the small staircase to find my mother lying on the kitchen floor. There was a small and growing puddle of blood near her skull. Shards of green glass and the remains of the empty vase that earlier held the flowers he brought her were surrounding my mom's body. I knelt to check for any signs of consciousness. She was out. I saw my father creep around the corner.
"You piece of shit, what are you doing up here?"
I stared up at him in fear. My father scared the hell out of me.
"Don't give me that wounded bird, puppy dog eyes bullshit. ANSWER ME."
He was obviously drunk to the point of no return. I tried to speak but no words would come. I finally managed to choke out a few words through tears.
"Why'd you hurt mom?"
"She deserved it, the bitch cheated on me." he gave a sickening chuckle.
"Mom would never do that to you."
"Are you back talking me you little shit?!" He came walking towards me.
"No! Stay away from me! Please! I'm sorry, Dad, I'm sorry!" My father struck me across the face three times and I fell to the ground. When I was almost unconscious he kicked me on the floor.
"You little fucking ungrateful brat."
"I'm sorry! Dad!" I sobbed and coughed up blood. He stood over me for a second. He spit on me.
"Who the fuck do you think you are?!"
I cried even more.
"ANSWER ME!"
"No one! No one!" I screamed. My dad grabbed me by the neck and pinned me to the wall. He was cutting off my airways. I couldn't breathe. The grip he had was much too strong.
"Now, Gerard, you're not gonna say anything. Now are you?" The look in his eyes was piercing. I hated it. That sick fucking smile.
I attempted to shake my head no while struggling to breathe. He loosened his fist a little.
"Promise me."
"I promise." He let go of me and tossed me aside.
"Go to your room." he barked.
Scared for my life, I ran but tripped over my feet and tumbled down the stairs. You just had to be the hero. You pathetic fuck you just let him throw you around like always, I thought. I stumbled with difficulty and eventually I made it to my room. I collapsed into sobs on my mattress. I still tried to hear footsteps above me. None. Maybe he was gone. If he was gone I could check on Mom and go get Mikey and bring him home so we could go to Grama's. I bit my lip and tried to breathe, all I could taste was blood. I heard a small voice from upstairs. It sounded like my mother.
"Gerard?" she rasped out.
As quick as my legs would let me move I rushed up the stairs. The car keys were off the hook so my dad had left. My mom was struggling to pick herself up off the floor.
"Mom, don't move I'll help you." I rushed to her side trying to mind the glass everywhere.
"I'm so sorry, sweetie." she managed feebly.
"No, no don't apologize you didn't do anything." I tried to contain the lump in my throat.
"You shouldn't have to see this, honey. This house is not a home." Tears streamed down her face as she spoke.
"We can go to Grama's. I'll help you pack. We can go get Mikey." I frantically pleaded.
"Honey, he'll hunt us down, you know. It'll be ten times worse if he finds us. Your father might take it out on her. We can't leave. Not yet." She struggled to prop herself up, I took her by the hand and pulled her up. I set her against the kitchen counter.
"Then what do we do? This happens too much mom. I'm afraid next time he'll kill you."
"Everything will be fine. We'll find a way out, sweetheart. I promise." I decided to take comfort in the lie she didn't know she was telling. I knew that things only had a slight chance of getting better.
"Honey, you have to go get your brother. You and him need to go to Grama's tonight."
"But you said--"
"I know what I said. Mikey can't handle this. You can't either. You need to stay away from here. At least for tonight."
"Okay."
"Go gather some things for the both of you for the night. I have to make sure everything's in order for when your father gets home. You'll have to walk. Take the hidden back roads and shortcuts. You can't be seen. He might catch you."
I nodded and did as she said, going as fast as I could. I ran downstairs and packed some things for me and my little brother, trying not to trip over my own feet again. I shoved my dirty Converse on my feet and got up the stairs again two bags in hand. I went back to the kitchen to check on her. She still was on the floor. I had to get her something for her head. I didn't even know if I should call the ambulance. Something told me I shouldn't but her eyes were struggling to stay open. I quickly went to the sink and got a rag for the blood. I went to her side and tried to clean her up a bit.
“Mom? Stay awake okay? You can't pass out. I can't leave you like this. I'll have to call the ambulance. You know dad hates that. It only gets worse if I do. Please wake up.” I blotted her face with the cool wash cloth and got a slight response.
“Don't worry Gerard. I'll be okay honey. I just need to rest.
“Ma. You can't. If you pass out you'll stay that way. Let me call the hospital.”
“No. No hospital. Your-- your father.” Her speech was delayed and her eyes were starting to clock out.
“Ma!!!! No!!!” She shot back up to life.
“Your father will make it worse. Call Norah. My friend Norah. She's a nurse. Dial 6 on speed dial.” she managed.
I did as my mom told me and Norah told me she'd be there with her as soon as she could.
“Norah is on her way mom.”
“Okay honey. Go. You need to go before he comes back and catches you. Go get Mikey. I love you Gerard. My strong boy. Stay strong for me.” She had tears streaming down her face and one hand on the side of mine. I hugged her tight and tried not to cry. I didn't want to be strong anymore. I just knew I had to though. I didn't want to but I had to leave her there. I peaked out the curtains over the window in my living room. A car I didn't recognize had just pulled up. Oh shit. Was it him? No. It was a lady. I guess that was Norah. I pulled a hoodie on and grabbed the bags and I sneaked out the back door. Jesus Ma, why'd you make me leave you? I took the back streets toward Mikey's school. It only took me a few minutes to get there. He had stayed for some club or something. I sneaked in and managed to get his attention. He stepped into the hallway and I gave him his overnight bag.
"What are you giving me this for?"
"We have to go to Grama's." I tried to avert my eyes. Mikey had the kind of eyes to make you melt into telling him anything.
"What happened?! Is Ma okay? Are you okay?" He began to become frantic.
"I'll explain when we get there. C'mon." He listened to me and we made a run for Grams' house. Luckily, she wasn't that far. My legs ached as much as my head did now. I felt like I was going to break. I always did. It really shouldn't have been unfamiliar. My only happiness existed at school, even then it was something so minuscule. At least I had a reason to live.
They were at it again. It hadn't been this bad in a long time. I couldn't believe my father's stupidity sometimes. Mix the lack of intelligence with booze and it proves itself to be a lethal combination. Everything had been fine before dinner. He actually was being nice to me and mom. He brought her flowers after work. He even asked us kids how school was. I lied of course. He didn't know about the bullies I faced. It was really strange. I should have known it wouldn't last very long. I guess I'm a fool for hoping that it would. I tried to draw earlier but the screaming got so intense I couldn't focus on anything worth shit. So I did what I always do. I hid in my bed. I was curled up in a ball in a cocoon of blankets. Thick, they made me sweat, but gave me comfort. I tried to block out the screaming from above. Thank god Mikey wasn't home. If I had only went with him. I wouldn't be stuck here. Today had been hell like always. Each day the insults got worse. It seemed amusing to the bastards. I never really had any friends after elementary. I don't know why, they just kind of abandoned me. I've always been strange, abnormal, different. I never really trusted anyone after that. All my former friends ditched me for popularity. I always thought there was something wrong with me. The only thing I started to take comfort in was pain. It was sickly satisfying. The scars just served as reminders of the awful fuck I really was. My attempts to block out the screaming upstairs weren't going so well.
"I NEVER LOVED YOU, YOU FUCKING WHORE! YOU STUPID SLUT, I SAW YOU SNEAKING AROUND WITH HIM!" my father's voice resonated the walls.
"FUCK YOU!, FUCK YOU! I LOVE YOU, YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT TRUE.", I could tell my mother was sobbing by her brokenness when she spoke.
"LIAR!"
I shook in terror. I never knew how bad the fights were going to be, but they seemed to get worse each time. Not even a second later I heard a body hit the floor. Oh no, Mom, I thought. I threw my blankets to the floor and rushed up the small staircase to find my mother lying on the kitchen floor. There was a small and growing puddle of blood near her skull. Shards of green glass and the remains of the empty vase that earlier held the flowers he brought her were surrounding my mom's body. I knelt to check for any signs of consciousness. She was out. I saw my father creep around the corner.
"You piece of shit, what are you doing up here?"
I stared up at him in fear. My father scared the hell out of me.
"Don't give me that wounded bird, puppy dog eyes bullshit. ANSWER ME."
He was obviously drunk to the point of no return. I tried to speak but no words would come. I finally managed to choke out a few words through tears.
"Why'd you hurt mom?"
"She deserved it, the bitch cheated on me." he gave a sickening chuckle.
"Mom would never do that to you."
"Are you back talking me you little shit?!" He came walking towards me.
"No! Stay away from me! Please! I'm sorry, Dad, I'm sorry!" My father struck me across the face three times and I fell to the ground. When I was almost unconscious he kicked me on the floor.
"You little fucking ungrateful brat."
"I'm sorry! Dad!" I sobbed and coughed up blood. He stood over me for a second. He spit on me.
"Who the fuck do you think you are?!"
I cried even more.
"ANSWER ME!"
"No one! No one!" I screamed. My dad grabbed me by the neck and pinned me to the wall. He was cutting off my airways. I couldn't breathe. The grip he had was much too strong.
"Now, Gerard, you're not gonna say anything. Now are you?" The look in his eyes was piercing. I hated it. That sick fucking smile.
I attempted to shake my head no while struggling to breathe. He loosened his fist a little.
"Promise me."
"I promise." He let go of me and tossed me aside.
"Go to your room." he barked.
Scared for my life, I ran but tripped over my feet and tumbled down the stairs. You just had to be the hero. You pathetic fuck you just let him throw you around like always, I thought. I stumbled with difficulty and eventually I made it to my room. I collapsed into sobs on my mattress. I still tried to hear footsteps above me. None. Maybe he was gone. If he was gone I could check on Mom and go get Mikey and bring him home so we could go to Grama's. I bit my lip and tried to breathe, all I could taste was blood. I heard a small voice from upstairs. It sounded like my mother.
"Gerard?" she rasped out.
As quick as my legs would let me move I rushed up the stairs. The car keys were off the hook so my dad had left. My mom was struggling to pick herself up off the floor.
"Mom, don't move I'll help you." I rushed to her side trying to mind the glass everywhere.
"I'm so sorry, sweetie." she managed feebly.
"No, no don't apologize you didn't do anything." I tried to contain the lump in my throat.
"You shouldn't have to see this, honey. This house is not a home." Tears streamed down her face as she spoke.
"We can go to Grama's. I'll help you pack. We can go get Mikey." I frantically pleaded.
"Honey, he'll hunt us down, you know. It'll be ten times worse if he finds us. Your father might take it out on her. We can't leave. Not yet." She struggled to prop herself up, I took her by the hand and pulled her up. I set her against the kitchen counter.
"Then what do we do? This happens too much mom. I'm afraid next time he'll kill you."
"Everything will be fine. We'll find a way out, sweetheart. I promise." I decided to take comfort in the lie she didn't know she was telling. I knew that things only had a slight chance of getting better.
"Honey, you have to go get your brother. You and him need to go to Grama's tonight."
"But you said--"
"I know what I said. Mikey can't handle this. You can't either. You need to stay away from here. At least for tonight."
"Okay."
"Go gather some things for the both of you for the night. I have to make sure everything's in order for when your father gets home. You'll have to walk. Take the hidden back roads and shortcuts. You can't be seen. He might catch you."
I nodded and did as she said, going as fast as I could. I ran downstairs and packed some things for me and my little brother, trying not to trip over my own feet again. I shoved my dirty Converse on my feet and got up the stairs again two bags in hand. I went back to the kitchen to check on her. She still was on the floor. I had to get her something for her head. I didn't even know if I should call the ambulance. Something told me I shouldn't but her eyes were struggling to stay open. I quickly went to the sink and got a rag for the blood. I went to her side and tried to clean her up a bit.
“Mom? Stay awake okay? You can't pass out. I can't leave you like this. I'll have to call the ambulance. You know dad hates that. It only gets worse if I do. Please wake up.” I blotted her face with the cool wash cloth and got a slight response.
“Don't worry Gerard. I'll be okay honey. I just need to rest.
“Ma. You can't. If you pass out you'll stay that way. Let me call the hospital.”
“No. No hospital. Your-- your father.” Her speech was delayed and her eyes were starting to clock out.
“Ma!!!! No!!!” She shot back up to life.
“Your father will make it worse. Call Norah. My friend Norah. She's a nurse. Dial 6 on speed dial.” she managed.
I did as my mom told me and Norah told me she'd be there with her as soon as she could.
“Norah is on her way mom.”
“Okay honey. Go. You need to go before he comes back and catches you. Go get Mikey. I love you Gerard. My strong boy. Stay strong for me.” She had tears streaming down her face and one hand on the side of mine. I hugged her tight and tried not to cry. I didn't want to be strong anymore. I just knew I had to though. I didn't want to but I had to leave her there. I peaked out the curtains over the window in my living room. A car I didn't recognize had just pulled up. Oh shit. Was it him? No. It was a lady. I guess that was Norah. I pulled a hoodie on and grabbed the bags and I sneaked out the back door. Jesus Ma, why'd you make me leave you? I took the back streets toward Mikey's school. It only took me a few minutes to get there. He had stayed for some club or something. I sneaked in and managed to get his attention. He stepped into the hallway and I gave him his overnight bag.
"What are you giving me this for?"
"We have to go to Grama's." I tried to avert my eyes. Mikey had the kind of eyes to make you melt into telling him anything.
"What happened?! Is Ma okay? Are you okay?" He began to become frantic.
"I'll explain when we get there. C'mon." He listened to me and we made a run for Grams' house. Luckily, she wasn't that far. My legs ached as much as my head did now. I felt like I was going to break. I always did. It really shouldn't have been unfamiliar. My only happiness existed at school, even then it was something so minuscule. At least I had a reason to live.
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