Sorry this took so long. I was grounded. Anyway, Ryan admits something that Cammy may or may not have wanted to hear.
“Oh, nothing much…” Addi admitted. “He was just saying that you were acting different lately. That you haven’t been yourself,” She explained.
“He said he was worried about you. Worried that something was really wrong with you…And then he said…” Moony drifted off.
“And then he said that he knew that it was his fault,” Addi said, completing her thought.
“Pete got pretty mad with him. He believed him,” Moony informed her. “They were arguing a lot. We left before they ended, so we don’t know if they ever worked things out. And Cammy, if there’s anything wrong, we’re always here. I know you’ve only known us for about a day, but we’re not heartless.”
“Thanks, guys, but nothing’s wrong,” I assured them.
Yes, there was. I was a liar, and a big one at that.
We walked into Hot Topic and they pulled off a bunch of tee shirts with cartoon characters or their favorite bands on them. We talked about useless things after that, until we decided to head to the next store.
“Where to next?” I asked them, as they finished paying for their things.
“Forever 21 sounds good. And it’s right there,” Addi suggested, heading across the mall. They immediately went over to check out the rack with mainly purple and black hanging on it. I didn’t really feel like shopping, knowing that Ryan and Pete were in a fight based on me. It was distressing to know I was the cause of it.
I pulled out my cell phone and texted Ryan. I couldn’t help myself.
Ry? I wrote.
Hey Cams, he wrote back to me. What’s up?
I just heard about you and Pete’s argument last night, I told him. Tear, I texted him.
Oh, he replied.
I was worried. Did you ever work things out?, I wondered.
Well…Not yet. I’m sorry, Cammy. I know I’m the reason that you’re acting differently.
No, you’re not Ry. I can’t put the blame on you. It’s just…, I wrote.
It’s just what? He asked.
It’s just…I love you. I can’t help it. But it’s not you, Ry. I’m fine. Honest, I told him.
I just wanted to scream at that moment. To just forget what everybody was thinking about me and yell, ‘Yes, I AM acting differently because of Ryan! I love him and I’m not afraid to scream it to the world!’
But in reality, I would never find it in me to do anything that bold.
I’m sorry, he said to me.
I wanted to tell her. Every bone in my body told me to admit my feelings to her, but I couldn’t. I needed some way to get Keltie to leave me without breaking her heart, which, quire frankly, isn’t easy.
I’m sorry for everything I’ve done to you. I’m sorry for hurting you, for breaking your heart, for crushing your dreams. I never meant to, Cammy. I swear. Hurting you was the last thing on my mind when I told you that we couldn’t be together. It’s not that I don’t love you… I explained to her.
I have to go, Ry, she told me quickly. I’ll talk to you later.
I wanted to think that she had something to do, but there was always a small part or my mind that kept chanting, ‘You’re losing her’. And that’s the last thing on the entire planet that I would want to lose.
Wait, Cammy, can we do something tonight? We haven’t hung out in a while, I pleaded. If she could hear the desperation in my voice, she would have immediately known my feelings for her. To be honest, I wasn’t sure if I wanted her to know or not.
Sure, I guess. I’ll meet you at your house at around three. See you then, Ry. Bye, She said hastily.
Bye Cams, I replied.
I was about to put a heart at the end, or at least an XOXO, but I hesitated and decided not to.
I wasn’t sure what she would think.