One shot! Gerard tries to cope with the death of Mikey after a tragic accident.
I sit here shuffling through an old deck of cards, picking one out at random. The Queen of Hearts…again. Holding that wilting flower that reminds me of death. Well so does everything else lately. I dig through my pockets and find three lone pennies. No booze for me tonight. I can’t even pay my bills anymore, they shut of my electricity last night. My apartment is now light by a single, flickering candle.
“A flash so bright that I could no longer see.”
I shook my head groggily and sank back down onto my lumpy couch.
“The screech of metal tearing apart, the feeling of weightlessness, then pain.”
Just then I heard a soft knock on the door.
“Gee,” a gentle voice carried through the wooden door. “Are you in there?” I flung my hair out of my eyes and walked to the door, pulling it open hesitantly. There stood a beautiful girl with long black hair and gorgeous brown eyes.
“Short brown hair, sticky with blood.”
Instead of inviting her inside I turned my back on her and headed toward my couch.
She came and sat next to me, her simple presence filling me with an indescribable pain. Her big eyes were filled with sadness and pity, but I wanted none of it.
“Gerard it wasn’t your fault!” she cried, grabbing my hands as I tried to turn away. I didn’t want to feel her touch because I knew it would bring back memories.
“Driving down an empty road.”
I had head everything that she had to say, and I didn’t want to go over it again.
“Please just listen to me,” she pleaded, but I was immersed in my own thoughts.
“Flashing red and blue lights filled my eyes.”
“I’m worried about you, and I don’t want to lose you like I lost him…” she whispered. Those words brought it all back.
Driving down a quiet, empty road, just my brother and I, returning from a concert. It was storming fiercely, but we desperately wanted to get home. I accelerated quickly, trying to make a green light when a blinding flash lit the area. I could no longer see, and I lost control of the car. A high pitched screeching sound emitted from my tires as I attempted to pull the car back onto the road. But I never even had the chance. The horrible tearing sound of metal being pulled apart announced the collision, followed by a feeling of weightlessness. Then the car hit the ground after rolling through the air. Pain followed and I couldn’t move. I was trapped by something that was crushing my chest and I could barely breathe.
“Mikey!” I cried out, but there was no answer from my brother in the seat beside me. After what seemed like hours the paramedics came, the flashing red and blue lights adding to the confusion in my mind. They pried the car apart and took me out first, and then they pulled out Mikey. His brown hair was sticky with crimson blood and he wasn’t moving. I was hysterical, crying out to him and attempting to run to him. I needed to hear his voice; I had to know that he would be alright. But the paramedics held me back, and all I remember was screaming for Mikey as the blackness enveloped me.
I awoke in a crowded hospital room with nurses everywhere. I shook my head groggily, but I was restricted by the mask they had put over my mouth. I couldn’t remember why I was there at first, but then it hit me. MIKEY! I jolted upward, but the nurse gently pushed me back down.
“Where is my brother?” I demanded.
The nurse looked at me sadly then she answered in a reluctant voice “he passed away before the ambulance even made it to the hospital.” The pain hit me so hard I went numb. I couldn’t even cry for the fact that I had killed my own brother.”
“I’m sorry I killed the only man that you loved,” I whispered to my brother’s fiancé. Her eyes filled up with tears, but I could no longer care. I was so filled with self loathing and her tears only made it worse. I got up off the couch and paced the room.
“I don’t blame you!” she cried, but I did. I couldn’t live with this pain much longer, and she knew it.
“Just promise you won’t leave me to,” she begged. “You are like a brother to me.” I almost was her brother-in-law, if it had not been for my stupidity. I couldn’t promise her anything, she had no idea how I felt. I know she was hurting too, but she hadn’t killed her own brother. I tugged on my long sleeved shirt that hid my scars from the accident, and more recent scars that I had made myself. Then I reached down into the pocket of my torn up jeans and pulled out a key.
“Here,” I handed her the key to my apartment. “Just in case you need someone to talk to.” I know she was hurt and I didn’t want to hurt her anymore then I already had. Maybe she could help me as well. Nothing could bring my brother back, but maybe she could help lessen the pain. It wasn’t much, but it was a start.
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