Number 98, Puzzle. Vexen and Zexion try to work out what's the matter with Demyx.
Vexen didn't turn to look at Zexion, just continued to examine the printouts from the various analyzers. "Nine has suddenly presented with a puzzling neurological disorder whose etiology is thus far unknown but which may be a symptom of a far more serious underlying condition. As long as it was convenient, I thought it as well to cover all the bases."
Zexion was less than impressed, especially since he'd been the one running all the various analyzers and performing the manual tests the analyzers couldn't handle. "Puzzling neurological disorder. If he's not presenting with grand mal seizures, I think you're overreacting. Especially as I can't find a clinically significant result in all of this testing with a bloodhound and a metal detector." He rubbed at his microscope-abused eyes. "His blood chemistry is all within normal values. His erythrocyte sedimentation rate is perfectly normal, as are his PT and PTT results. His CBC has come up with entirely normal results. I don't know if you were hoping to find an anemia or a leukemia, but I can state with a great deal of certainty that he has neither. Not so much as a leukemoid reaction or lymphocytosis that might be related to infection. Kingdom Hearts alone knows why you ordered the VDRL and Lyme titer, but both of them are clean. Are you going to want to perform a bone marrow aspiration now, or would you rather start with a lumbar puncture and CSF analysis?"
Vexen stared at him like he'd just sprouted a third arm. "...Are you finished yet?"
"That is an excellent question, Four. Are you finished yet, or would you prefer I started looking for signs of HIV or HCV infection?" Zexion slumped into the nearest chair. "If he has a neurological disorder, why didn't you start with an EEG?"
Vexen set one sheaf of printouts aside and started reading the next. "Because I have reason to believe the origin of the problem is not within the brain itself."
Zexion nodded wearily. "That eliminates seizures." And I have a strong suspicion you just wasted a great deal of my time,he added silently. He'd have had more trouble thinking of things he/wouldn't/ rather do than complete blood counts with differential than things he would rather do. He wanted to go straight back to the library, lock himself in, and let Vexen complete his own ridiculous tests. "Whatever the underlying problem is, assuming this 'puzzling neurological disorder' is not purely idiopathic, it's not something that can be determined from blood samples."
"This cannot be purely idiopathic. Nothing is purely idiopathic." Zexion groaned. "There must be an underlying cause. Thus far, we've eliminated numerous possibilities."
/Wasted my time, your time, and Nine's time, you mean./"Four, it might help a great deal if I were to have some idea what this 'puzzling neurological disorder' was."
Vexen hesitated for a long moment. "As of right now, it may be just as well to keep you in the dark, in order to eliminate examiner bias in one direction or another. The condition may resolve on its own."
Meaning you'd rather play the high, mighty, omniscient doctor than go one step out of your way to help anyone help you. If that's the case, you don't especially need a laboratory scientist, do you.Zexion stood up and walked out the door, leaving a very confused Vexen and carrying a deep urge to find out exactly what was the matter with Demyx.