This was the first Frerard I ever wrote back in August. It is the one most of my readers like the most.
The reason I said I was getting almost very bored was because of the simple fact that there was one thing that had been going on almost every night that really excited me about going on stage. In fact, if it weren't for that, I probably wouldn't want to go on stage at all.
"We're ready to go on!" called Gerard.
"Okay, my love," I muttered, not meaning for Gerard to hear.
"What was that?" Gerard asked, appearing at the doorway.
"Nothing," I said.
"Oh. I thought you said something."
I blushed as Gerard and I went backstage, ready to go on.
I walked behind him, and took advantage of that greatly, staring at the most amazing ass I had ever seen. While he was walking it looked even better...
"Frankie!" yelled someone behind me.
I turned around to see Ray.
"Hi, Toro-saurus," I said, hoping my use of his nickname would distract him if in fact he caught me staring at Gerard's ass.
Ray just looked at me and smiled.
"What?" I asked.
Ray just stood there still with a goofy smile on his face.
"WHAT?" I demanded. "I don't want to get screamed at for missing my part because I come-out late!"
"Well, speaking of /coming out/..." started Ray.
My face got hot and I started to walk away, but Ray grabbed my shoulder.
"We are going to be late!" I said.
"No we won't. We always go back stage earlier than we need to," said Ray. "So...I have always wanted to know what attracted people to Gerard so much. I was hoping you could fill me in."
"RAY! What the hell are you talking about?"
"Oh come on Frankie! Everyone with eyes can tell that you are in love with Gerard! You love it when he kisses you on stage! I was watching you last night. When he kissed you, your arms swung around him faster than George Bush's arm would swing around Tony Blair."
"I didn't know you were into politics."
"It was a Lil' Bush reference." explained Ray.
"Really? How is that show? I was going to watch it the other night but-".
"Don't even think about changing the subject. Frankie, just tell Gerard how you feel. I'm sure he feels the same way for you."
"Ray, you don't understand," I said. "He just does it because he gets just as bored as I do on stage. He told me that, sort of. He said he gets bored, and I told him I do too, and so he tries to make it interesting by kissing and stuff. Plus, he just broke-up with someone and needs love."
"Frankie, that's not true, and you know it." said Ray.
"Yeah I do!" I protested. "Well answer me this. Why doesn't he make-out with you? Huh? Or Bob, or Matt?"
"I don't know. Why doesn't he?"
I couldn't tell if Ray was being sarcastic or not.
"It's because he likes /you/!" said Ray. "You are the only one who doesn't see it! All these years he has allowed you to sit on his lap, kiss him, touch him...All that good stuff. He does it to you, too."
"And what do all of those things have in common, Ray?" I asked. "They were all times when we were in front of the camera! Whenever we are backstage, on the bus, or just hanging-out, he doesn't even show signs of even giving me a hug. I don't even think he is gay! Not even bi!"
"Frankie, Frankie, Frankie! I love you man, but you are just so stupid sometimes!"
"No I'm not! I would know in his kiss if he likes me, and he does it purely for just attention. He always pushes me away when he is done."
"Well that's because we are on stage, and it wouldn't look right if you just stood there making-out for about five hours."
"But he pushes me away!"
"He's being flirty with you!"
"What's going on?" asked Bob, coming up from behind us, drumsticks in hand.
"We were just talking about how Frank loves Gerard and how he should tell him." said Ray.
"The whole world is waiting for that," said Bob. "Have you read some of these stories all these girls on websites write?"
"Yeah, they are gross, some of them. You know, they hooked me up with you the other day, Bob," said Ray, looking totally and utterly disgusted. "But it's good that they put you and Gee together, Frank. They know that you two are perfect together, which is why there are so many of them..."
"Yeah," said Bob. "Well, I just wish you two would stop playing around with each other and just become a couple. The world basically embraces it."
"Guys!" yelled Matt from a few feet away. "Time to go!"
"Coming!" I yelled, running away from Bob and Ray.
Damn, he is so hot. I can't even take it anymore. I hope he kisses me tonight. I really am longing to taste his lips so fuckin' badly. He didn't kiss me last night...
I kept my eyes on Gerard as he ran about the stage, singing and getting the crowd all rallied up. I felt myself get bigger, and I used my guitar to cover it up.
I looked at his ass and he turned around briefly and I saw his sweaty face, which caused some hair to stick to the side of his cheek.
Oh God, he's looking at me! This is it! He is going to kiss me! Fuck, I really should've chewed a piece of minty gum or something before the show...
I then realized that not only Gee was watching me, the whole audience was looking at me.
Gee smirked at me, and I then realized that I had been staring at Gee so much, that I had stopped playing the guitar! My face turned as red as possible and I started to play again.
Oh damn it, that was the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me on stage! Hopefully none of the fans know why I stopped playing. And more importantly, hopefully Gerard doesn't know why I stopped playing!
I started bashing my head around as I played, to distract me from looking at Gerard. I continuously did it really hard, without stopping, and my head started to hurt so much that I was starting to get dizzy.
"Relax, man!" yelled Ray. "You are shaking your head too much!"
I quit doing it only because I thought I was going to faint. I looked up, and my head was pounding and everything was a blur. Things started to clear up, though, and I was able to play again with no problem.
I still needed a distraction. But what?
"Wow! Handcuffs!" I heard Gerard yell when the song was done.
Someone from the audience must have thrown them on the stage.
"Hmm...What am I to do with these?" Gerard asked.
The audience screamed in reaction.
"Oh! I know!" yelled Gerard. "I will use them on Frankie Iero later!"
Gerard looked back and grinned at me as the crowd screamed.
I started to feel sick again, and I knew for a fact that my face had turned redder than the reddest apple.
Gerard said things like that all the time. It was only recently that I started to wish so badly that he would follow through with what he said.
I longed to have him use those handcuffs on me. I would let him do whatever the hell he pleased with me. I would be his devoted slave. He could do what ever he wanted to whatever place he wanted...He could use me to release whatever sexual desire he had. He could also be the love of my life and we could end our days with each other, just like our song said.
If only he felt the same way that I did, and if only he wasn't straight. We wouldn't have to tell the fans anything. Even if they found out, I wouldn't care. I'm gay, and that's that. I am proud of it.
I wouldn't hesitate, though, to stand atop the highest mountain and profess my love for Gerard Arthur Way.
Gerard continued to babble to the audience, and I just stood there, staring at his sexy self as he walked about the stage and did silly things, and how his tight pants made his ass look like something out of a fairy tale.
I was very, um...happy, and I soon realized that I had to stop staring at Gerard, otherwise I would have to run off the stage. I was feeling really lucky to be a guitarist...With a guitar...
"I LOVE YOU, FRANK!" yelled some chick in the audience.
I just smiled at the direction that the scream had come from.
"Who would't? Frank is sexy!" yelled Gerard, causing me to blush madly.
"Okay, this next song is called /House of Wolves/! Let me hear you sing!" yelled Gerard.
We started playing the song, and I was staring at Gerard yet again. I couldn't help it.
I was especially turned on when he sang "Tell me I'm a bad, bad man." I just wanted him to tell me to tell him that.
"I'll tell you you're a bad, bad man, alright." I mumbled.
"You better run like the devil 'cuz they're never gonna leave you alone!" sang Gerard.
Oh, I don't think so, my beautiful goddess. You better run like the devil, because when I get a hold of you, I will-
My breath caught in my throat as Gerard started to touch himself. The audience was going nuts, but that was nothing compared to what I was feeling.
That was it.
I marched from my place over to Gerard, ready to snatch him, but Gee didn't notice and ran in the other direction.
I slowly made it back to my spot.
I continued to play during the show, and also continued to watch Gerard and that sweet ass of his.
During /Mama/, Gerard came close to me for the first time during the show. I looked at him and he was all sweaty, and his eyeliner was starting to drip a bit.
It was Ray's turn to play, so I could just stare back at Gerard, as my heart was pounding against my chest.
Gerard pulled my head back and smashed his lips against mine as the crowd went wild, and Gee had to stop singing so he could do it. I kissed back with so much passion, but five seconds after he started, I felt myself being pushed away by him.
Ray was giving us whistles and cat calls while laughing, but the audience was screaming so loud, they didn't hear.
Still, I was in awe, and my heart was beating fast and another part of me was starting to throb.
I ran to another part of the stage, all smiles, trying to contain myself. I was practically skipping.
I soon stopped and glared at Gerard, but I didn't want him to see. I was suddenly confused.
What the hell? You were the one who kissed me, Gerard! Why the hell are you pushing me away?
I started to grip the fact that Gerard was using me as a tool. It was all an act, whether to amuse himself or the audience.
My head hung for a second and I started to play my part, which I barely missed.
About Two Hours Later
The show ended and we went backstage.
"Dude, what happened out there?" Matt asked me as we entered the dressing room. "You stopped playing."
I unintentionally looked over at Gerard, who was wiping his face.
"Nothing,” I said. "I just froze."
Matt looked at Gee in a questioning way, and then walked away.
Ray came up to me, handing me a cup of water.
"Thanks," I said, taking a sip of it. "I feel sick."
"Love sick, that is." said Ray, smiling.
I couldn't retaliate because Gerard had come over.
"You did good during Dead! tonight." Ray told Gee. "That was my favorite song that you did."
"Mine too," I lied.
"Thanks," said Gerard, as Ray smiled goofily at me.
"Is there a bruise on my cheek?" Gerard asked.
"No," I said.
"Oh. It feels like there is."
Without warning, Ray randomly walked away, so it was just Gerard and I.
"Oh my God," said Gerard. "Last night, I was watching this show, and this guy had this condition where bruises appeared on him for no reason and..."
I wasn't listening to what Gerard had to say. I just looked at him. Looked, and wished that he wouldn't just talk to me as if nothing had happened on stage. He had kissed me, called me 'sexy', said he would use handcuffs on me, and we had done other stuff on stage on other occasions. And after each one, just like tonight, he was acting as casual as ever towards me.
We got ready and got back on the bus, and headed off. I sat on the couch and thought about how Gerard was playing with my mind. He had never told me he was gay, but he never admitted to being totally straight, either. He had to have some idea of how I felt. Why else would I get pissed at him when he was dating someone? Why else would I kiss him back with everything I had, even if it was for a few minutes?
Next thing knew, Gerard had come and sat next to me.
"Hi," he said.
"Hey," I replied.
"So why did you stop playing tonight? Were you too busy staring at me?"
I knew Gee was joking, but I still turned redder than ever.
The smile disappeared from Gerard's face.
"Frank?" he asked, looking at me. "/Were/ you?"
I didn't answer.
"Do you have a crush on me or something?" Gee asked.
"Have you been talking to Ray?" I asked.
"Uh...yeah...What do you mean by /stuff/? Like...Do you mean you?"
I just shrugged.
"No Frank. We don't talk about you." said Gerard, not taking his eyes off me. "Oh, and you still haven't told me why you ended your relationship with-".
"I don't wanna talk about that." I said. "You will think I am a freak."
Gerard put his hand on my leg, causing my heartbeat to go to a mile a second.
"I would never think that about you." said Gerard softly.
I looked into his beautiful eyes. This was it. I had to tell him.
"I'm gay," I whispered.
"What? I can't hear you," said Gee.
"I'm gay!" I repeated, louder. "I'm gay, Gerard. I'm gay. I'm homosexual. I don't like girls, alright? Does that answer your question?"
Gerard just looked at me.
"I know what the word means, Frankie," said Gerard.
I hung my head.
I felt Gerard's hand on my chin, and he gently pulled my face up to look at him.
"I have no problem with it, Frankie," said Gerard. "I'm gay, too."
I gasped. I was shocked.
"Don't act so surprised, Frank," he said. "Have I not been kissing you all these years? Have you noticed that I can't pick out a decent girl? I'm gay, too Frank."
I couldn't help but smile really wide.
"And you know what? I like you," said Gerard. "I love kissing you, and rubbing you, and all that great stuff. I wasn't sure if you were gay, so I decided to do it on stage to see if I thought you were. I wouldn't want to do it off stage because...I don't know. For some reason, I am less shy on stage. Plus, you look really hot up there."
I smiled at the beautiful man that was looking at me.
"I like you too, Gerard," I said. "Hell, I fuckin' love you. I always have. I was just so afraid that my chances were just as bad as all those girls out there who love you."
"I love you too," said Gerard. "And I felt the same way about my chances with you, as well. I have been waiting to ask you out for a long time. I was just a bit nervous. I don't really want the fans to know."
"They don't have to," I said. "But even if they did, who cares? As long as we are happy, that's all that matters."
Gerard leaned to me and our lips met, longer than they ever have before, and I pushed him down on the couch and got on him without breaking the kiss. I didn't care who could walk in on us. I was finally kissing Gerard the way I had been meaning to for so long. For us. Not for anyone else.
I slid my tongue in Gerard's mouth and he moaned and I smiled in the kiss as he stroked the back of my neck. He surprised me when he put his other hand on my ass.
I gasped in the kiss and pulled away from him.
Gerard laughed evilly and lifted his head up a bit, signaling that he wanted another kiss, and I leaned down and pecked his lips.
I got off him and we both sat up.
"Hmm...I think I better go find those handcuffs," said Gerard, smiling evilly again.
"Hell yeah," I said, kissing his cheek.
"Oh yeah, and I lied," said Gerard.
"About what?" I asked, a bit worried.
"Ray and I were talking about you. He didn't tell me you liked me, just that I should come in here and talk to you about why you stopped playing tonight."
I shook my head. That Ray.
Gerard wrapped his arms around my small frame and I couldn't wait to find out what this older man had in store for me.
"Where do you wanna go?" I asked, referring to where I would finally get to show him how much I love him.
"My bed," said Gerard. "I'll pull the curtain thingy over."
I stood up and started running to his bed and he chased after me, grabbing me from behind.
"You horny little bastard, you," said Gerard, nipping at the back of my neck.
"Fuck you," I said.
"I will in a second," said Gerard, taking the handcuffs out. "Only I'll be fucking you."
I turned around and kissed him.
"I lied, too," I said.
"About what?" asked Gerard.
"/Dead!/ wasn't my favorite song you did tonight. It was /House of Wolves/."
"And why would that be?" asked Gerard, smiling. "Was it because I was touching myself?"
"That, and I just started trailing off by some of the lyrics. They have turned me on since we first wrote that song."
Gerard smiled and wrapped his arms around me, handcuffs still in his hand. He pushed his lips against mine.
"Frankie Anthony Thomas Iero," said Gerard in the most seductive voice ever, "Tell me I'm a bad, bad man!".
I smiled wider than ever before.
"Gerard Arthur Way", I said. "You are a bad, bad man."
Gerard pushed me playfully on the bed, handcuffs at the ready.
"Believe me," he said, "You haven't seen anything yet."