Curiosity is a Killer.
I lay. I lay. I stood. I walked slowly to the hall, passing Mikey, into my parent’s room. No blood in here. I lay. I lay. I fell into a deep sleep where there was no blood. No tears. Just black.
I was woken though, and it was night. “Gerard… What time is it?” I whispered. He kissed my cheek “It’s 9.” He replied. “Mikey?” I said. He put his hand over my mouth. “Shh. Gerard went out, remember?” I looked around. “Mikey, I’d like to go back to sleep.” I said. He nodded. “Come on then.” I shook my head “No, in here. Please.” His eyes widened and then he stood up and left. I lay there, awake, and waited. Silence filled the house. I waited. And then he came back. “Gerard…” I whispered, so eager. I couldn’t understand myself. I pulled him close and he embraced me. “Adie… Did you miss me?” He said, giggling. I nodded and kissed him. “Gerard, I need to talk to you.” He nodded and flipped his legs onto the bed, so he was beside me. “I don’t know what’s going on with me right now, but…” I couldn’t day anymore. My mind and body were possessed with some force stronger than any weapon. I wasn’t Adie anymore, I was something else. I crawled out of bed and pushed Gerard down, and kissed him fervently. He kissed back with equal passion and soon we were both pulling off each other’s clothes, panting. I looked up, and saw Mikey standing in the doorway. I ignored it and kissed Gerard again, pulling him up by his shirt and then pulling it off. When I looked again, Mikey was gone. I suddenly rolled off Gerard. “Gerard...” I said. “I think I’m falling for you... But, I can’t if I have to live in fear that you’ll hurt me…” Gerard raised his eyebrows. “Adie, I never wanted to hurt you…” He was still talking, but I wasn’t listening. I lay back and rolled over so I was facing the window. Was I going crazy? Gerard eventually stopped talking, and I fell asleep again, Gerard behind me with his hand snaked around my waist.
When I woke up, I was alone. I had a shower, thinking how much I’d like to wake up with someone with me. I walked downstairs and sat at the table, and made myself a bowl of Froot Loops. “Did someone go shopping?” I said, seeing all the new stuff and a brown paper grocery bag with my name on it. “Yeah, I did.” Said Frankie through a mouthful of cereal. “But Gerard made me a list.” I nodded and thanked him. I peered into my bag. It was pretty full… There were some toiletry products; Shampoo, conditioner, pads (I silently thanked Gerard for that, it had been a concern of mine.), some new panties, a new dress (short and black), and a pill box that looked like it was prescription. I took it out, it wasn’t prescription, but it was The Pill. I raised my eyebrows and put it back in the bag. When we had done it, we hadn’t used protection. I was suddenly worried and then thankful to Gerard. “I got you Cherry 7up... I heard you say you like it.” Frankie murmured from behind his cereal. I smiled. “Thanks Frankie.” I thought about getting up, but instead said “So you’re from Jersey too?” He nodded and said “Belleville High School. Dropped out when I was 14.” I nodded. “When did you meet Gerard?” He shrugged “Last year. I knew Bob, and he knew Ray, who knew the Ways. Then we all kinda fit together. I mean, I know you think we’re sick fucks, but it’s just, an impulse you can’t control. I don’t expect you to understand.” I looked at him sideways. “No, I think I do. And I’m getting used to being here, with you guys. I just don’t think I could ever do exactly what you do.. That’s ok, right?” He smiled “That’s fine, Adie.” That was the first time I’d heard him say my name. I skipped to the fridge and got a can of Cherry 7up, and walked back up to my room. Gerard had, at my request, replaced the boards on my windows with bars, so the sun could come in. I lay down on my bed and picked up a book. It was “To Kill A Mockingbird.” I’d read it millions of times, but never tired of it. I read for half an hour or so, before being joined by Mikey. “Hey.” I said, putting my book down. “Adie… What’s going on with you and Gerard?” I opened my mouth, and then shut it again. For how could I explain the way my entire being gave in to Gerard’s soft words, his touch? When I was with him that was all there was. And it’s all I wanted. “Mikey… It’s hard to explain…” I tired to, but the words wouldn’t come to me. Mikey moved closer and kissed me softly. Mikey was so kind in every way… But Gerard… God I couldn’t make up my mind, as I surrendered to Mikey’s kiss, all thoughts of Gerard were washed away. I felt his cold hand on the small of my back, but I broke the kiss when he pushed me down into the sheets. “Mikey. What about Gerard?” A look of impatience and hurt was painted on his face. “What about Gerard? You love me! Not fucking Gerard. Don’t deny that we had a connection, the first time we even met, Adrienne. You know it! How did you meet Gerard? He bashed you up, shortly after murdering your family. He’s a psychopath, how could you ever trust him?” It was a good question. The answer was, I probably couldn’t. But I loved him just the same. “look, Mikey…” I started, but was then interrupted by a huge bang of the door opening. “What the fuck?” Came Gerard’s voice. Mikey looked up sharply. He was laying down still, and I was sitting up. “Gerard. Hey, baby, ho-“ I was cut off by Gerard’s fist. “Hey man, not cool!” Mikey said, immediately kneeling to help me up. “Keep your hands off her, cunt.” Gerard snarled at Mikey. I stood up slowly, and could taste blood. “Gerard, we were talking!” I cried. He threw his hands up in the air and stormed out. I started to follow, but Mikey grabbed my arm. “Mikey, NO. Just leave it!” I screamed at him and ran to Gerard’s room. “Gerard.. .Gee… I’m sorry… We were talking, nothing happened.” I was scared. Maybe that’s what my so called ‘love’ for him actually was. Fear. I sat down on the bed next to him. His elbows were propped up on his knees and his face was in his hands. He looked at me and shook his head. “Whatever. There’s a few more downstairs. Go down if you want. Or stay up here. Or jump out the window. I don’t care.” And he got up and walked out. I sat there for a while, gingerly brushing away tears and wiping blood from my mouth. I looked out the window, which was also barred now, and sobbed. I heard a scream from downstairs, and figured I should go check it out.
When I got downstairs I saw Frank straddling a tall short haired brunette. He had a half empty bottle of tequila in his hand, which he was pouring on her and licking off, splashing it in her face cruelly. I walked through to the den and saw another three unfamiliar faces. Two males, two females. I said nothing to anyone but sat on the couch. Mikey was sitting cross legged on the pool table making out with one of the girls. He too had a bottle of tequila, but his was empty. Gerard whispered something into Ray’s ear which made him come sit next to me. “Gerard told me to let you know that we haven’t done anything to these four yet. We’re just gonna party till they’re all good and wasted, and then start. He said that if you spill anything, he’ll spill your brains.” He ruffled my hair and got up. I nodded slowly and watched Mikey kiss that skinny blonde girl, just as he had kissed me before. I felt my insides burn. I tore my eyes away from them and looked at the others. One of the guys was lanky with heaps of piercings, and the other was short, with black hair. The other girl had hair the same colour as mine and was talking to Gerard. I yawned and walked back to the kitchen, cringing at the dead body that Frank was lazily carving something into. ‘Hey.” He said. I nodded and grabbed a drink. “What did you do to Gerard?” He said, grinning. I shrugged. “Well, he came down here crying before, man. That’s whack. Did you do something with Mikey?” I shook my head. “Well we all know you fuck him. You’d better watch out.” He walked out before I had the chance to say anything more. I sighed and walked to the lounge room, where all was silent. I did nothing but sip from my can and sit. It was warm in there, and I guess I lost track of time, because the next time I looked, it was 8pm. “Right…” I muttered, and walked into the kitchen and up the stairs. I walked down the dark hallway, and paused at Gerard’s room, puzzled at the noises coming from within. I know I shouldn’t have looked. It would have saved me a lot of pain if I hadn’t have looked. But curiosity is a killer. I slowly and carefully opened the door and peered in. I could see a bare back, presumably of the girl with the blonde hair. She was fucking some guy…Who was she with? And why were they in Gerard’s room. I opened my mouth to interrupt, but was rendered speechless when I saw that the guy fucking the blonde girl in Gerard’s bed was Gerard. My jaw dropped. “Gerard?” I whispered. He didn’t hear me, but the girl did. She turned to look at me, and paused in her bouncing thrusts. “Er.. Your little sister’s here…” She said awkwardly. “Go away little girl.” My eyes narrowed as I saw Gerard peer at me from in front of her. For a split second, all I could see in him was regret. Fear, hurt and regret. But then, he blinked and it was gone. Indifferent. He shrugged and pushed her down onto him by her hips. I turned and ran to my room, and collapsed on my bed. I thought I was still alive because he loved me? I was needed. “Now I’m nothing…” I whispered. He should have killed me when he had the chance.
This is getting kinda redundant.
I'll make it more interesting soon, promise.
Yeah I posted before, but it turned up (for some reason) in All I Want To Do.
So that's why that was up. Sorry, ignore that.
ANyway, R&R if you think this deserves it.
I'm gonna write more now, actually