Revenge is a dish best served wet and cold
Mikey made me jump as he sat down beside me. He’d been sat at the table with the others whilst I spaced out in front of the TV. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about who Sebastian was all day. It was driving me mad. Ha, driving. As usual Mike didn’t get the hint that sitting over hear meant I didn’t want to talk.
“Nothing” I mumbled trying to figure out why Bart was in a bubble. Mikey grabbed the remote and turned the TV off.
“Cut the crap. She’s been weird all day and so have you. She was fine until you went to bed. I herd the arguing from my room.” He was now sat with his arms folded glaring at me over his ridiculously overpriced glasses.
“I was just a bit tipsy and I don’t have an attitude. I’m just a bit delicate still” I went to get up but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back down.
“You were shit faced. You drank two whole bottles.” I would get less shit if Mom was here.
“Fine I was drunk. So what? It’s not like were racin’ hear.” Before I could even move Mikey was up in my face poking me in the shoulder.
“You were an hour late up. You were half a mile behind us on the bike ride. You’re just lucky Patrick isn’t exactly an athlete and was keeping pace with you. If you hadn’t noticed even Bob was keeping up with the rest of us. Bob is used to you pulling crap like this but you’re making a fool of yourself in front of the others. What do you think Valo would say if he were here?”
“From what I hear he would have been offering me more” Mikey huffed giving me his death glare. After a minute I couldn’t take his dumb silence.
“Ok so I had a good time last night. I have the hangover to remind me without you banging on. If you’re that bothered abut precious Ces then fuck off and find her.” I spat. I haven’t snapped at Mikey like that since he drove into my car during a pit stop back in Formula 3.
Mikey started to walk away with his fist clenched at his side. But before he got to steps he spun round and bent down to my eye level.
“You are such a douche. I know what all this is relay about. You can give me all your ‘but you’re my brother’ bullshit. But I know it’s the fact Ces is a better diver than me and you’re scared shitless that she’s guna show you up for the self indulgent egotistical narcissistic prick you are and take your number one status.” I sat stunned as Mikey stalked of back to the rest of the guys who still talking animatedly at the table.
“This is all Sebastian’s fault.”
Once Gerard finally hauled his arse outta bed I had a blast cycling. I love the Moore’s. So peaceful and quite. I kept pace with Mikey and Frank, just listening to them chat about Jersey. Mikey’s so not like his brother I cant believe it. But even a heated debate about the best club in Newark couldn’t stop Gerard’s words playing over in my head all day. Sulking little brat. Dunno what he’s got to be grumpy about. All I did was try to break the ice. As soon as we got back he was sulking in front of the TV. His constant glares were getting old. I think Mikey and Frank herd us last night. Both kept asking me if I was ‘ok’ all day and swapping glances when I shrugged them off. After tea I saw Mikey arguing with Gerard. Let’s just say now I can see how they are related. You wouldn’t think a guy like Mikey could look so dangerous. He seems so nice. Mental note: don’t crash into Mikey.
“Shit did you see that?”
“I know. Remind me not to cut up Mikey.”
“Same. Do you think one of us should go see if hes ok?”
“He’l come ot us when hes ready. Id wait a while befor going to bed though.”
“Don’t remind me. Im tempted to kip on the sofa. Id rather sleep on a rock than in the same room as that prick.”
“Seriously, what happened last night? Mike and I herd yelling, and then it all went quiet. And I know we’ve only just met and all but compared to yesterday you seemed really distracted today.”
“I’m fine. He just struck a nerve is all.”
“Wanna talk about it? Might help?”
“Thanks Frankie. But theres not allot o know. I tired to clear the air about me joining
theteam, and he started shit talking about my personal life.”
“That does seem a bit extreme. I’m sure he didn’t mean it. It was probably just the alcohol talking.”
“Then why the glares and silent treatment?”
“Maybe hes just embarrassed at his behavior. Give it time. What else is team bonding holidays for?”
Gerard skulked off to bed after his and Mikey’s tiff and the rest of us spent the evening playing poker and finished what Gerard didn’t drink. Bob was being very coy about tomorrow’s “team bonding” exercise and even keeping his glass filled didn’t get it out of him.
By ten am the next day we were all freezing our asses off in wet suits and life jackets (sexy) on the edge if the filthiest and murkiest lake I have ever seen. I mean this is like horror movie murky. I am shitting myself. Patrick was giving us the briefing as Bob stood smirking as we realized the true horror of his genius.
“Don’t worry, you wont get your hair wet. Myself and Patrick will be teammates. And obviously co-drivers will be team mates. The race is from this side of the lake to the other, with red oil drums marking the start finish line. Paddle power only and you can’t swim alongside the raft. Last ones there make dinner. So all that’s left to say is…..”
Bob and Patrick made a run for the equipment and yelled “go” as we stood there with matching open mouths.
“So, is that it? We just go?” Gerard spoke up.
“Yup. Bye losers!” Frank yelled as he dragged Mikey off in pursuit of Team Unfit. Gerard and I stood watching as Frank wrestled a paddle from Bob and Mikey hauled two oil drums away.
I stood shivering watching four idiots trying to built a boat from crap for what seemed like ages before I final broke the silence.” I can’t swim.”
“You have a life jacket. Les get this over with.” And with that Gerard strode of to what little junk was left and began grabbing ropes and barrels.
By the time our rickety SS Shit Bucket was ready he others were halfway across the lake and splashing each other with algae. It was mostly Gerard’s invention. I just followed orders. I don’t want any arguments. I want this over ASAP, just like him. I don’t do water. As we pushed the shit bucket out onto the lake I sat on one barrel, which was attached to Gerard’s barrel with four planks of wood and rope. I’m sure the shaking is just form the cold. Not the fear of impending death. He nearly tipped my over as he got on board.
“Fuck sake watch it. I told you I can’t swim!”
We paddled along in silence till we were about half way across. I had lost site of the others, partly due to the fog slowly creeping its way across the lake. Must have got to land already. Tea’s on us tonight. Joy. Before I could plan what to cook I herd a splash and Gerard swearing.
“I dropped my dam paddle” Gerard was leaning down to the water grasping for his buoyant paddle.
“How the hell? Just get it quick so we can get home” I sighed, trying my best to splash our shit bucket towards it.
“Shit it’s floating away. Paddle towards it!” He was leaning dangerously close the gross water.
“What do you think I’m doing!?”
Gerard sat upright, making the shit bucket wobble way too much for my liking. I grabbed onto my barrel whist Gerard yelled.
“Fuck all! Do you even know how to use a paddle?” He gave me the darkest look I’ve seen in my life. It’s just a paddle for fuck sake. What’s his problem?
“I’ve been doing all the work! You’ve just sat there being emo!”
“Fine, since you’ve done all the work why don’t you get the paddle?” Gerard lunged across and took both of us straight into the lake. Once I figured out how to breathe again the red mist descended. And I don’t mean the fog that was now completely surrounding us. Grabbing the paddle I started yelling and hitting Gerard with it.
Gerard kept dunking his head underwater in a futile attempt to avoid my wrath. He popped up out of the water a foot away and grabbed the paddle out of my hand and threw it away.
“ARE YOU CRAZY” He yelled, gasping for air. The shaggy hair was plastered to his face and his nose and lips red from the cold of the water.
“I can’t fucking swim you prick!” I flailed in vain attempt to get to Gerard and tear his arms off but he easily swam away from me. “Argh, get back here so I can kill you!”
“Crazy bitch!” He watch me splash some more as he swam rings around me, laughing as I eventually ran out of energy and sat bobbing around in the filthy water shivering. I hate water and as my anger ebbed I began to panic. I couldn’t see the SS shit bucket. I couldn’t see Gerard. I couldn’t see anything!
“Gerard?” I began trying to turn around in the water but didn’t get very far. The fog was really thick now. “Gerard?” I yelled a bit louder. I could hear water sloshing but I couldn’t see where from.
“ARRRRRGH!” Gerard popped up right in front of my face.
“Revenge is a dish best served wet and cold. So don’t fuck with me again.” He floated back a bit with a smug grin on his face. Least he wasn’t sulking anymore. Small mercies an’ all I spose.
“Look, I’m sorry for attacking you with the paddle, but….I’m scared of water…” I mumbled.
“What?” Gerard floated closer, staring at me. Why is he always doing that? It’s creepy. That’s beside the point. He heard me. He just wants to humiliate me by making me say it again.
“I said I’m scared of water!”
“I herd you. I just don’t get how someone who drives inches of the tarmac at 200 kilometers an hour can be scared of water. You’re wearing a life jacket. And I’m here!” Was that a smile? Did Gerard Way just smile cutely? I think I must have swallowed too much of this toxic lake water.
“It’s not the water. It’s what in it. I just freak’s me out ok? And like you would save me. You’d just watch me drown and laugh.”
“No way, Id never let a woman as…” Gerard stopped mid sentence. Dam it! What was he going to say? “Did you hear that? It sounds like an engine.”
We sat quietly listening. The engine noise got louder and a shape started to appear through the fog.
“At last! As soon as the fog came down we started looking for you two. What happened to the raft?” Bob and Frank came through the wall of fog in a small dinghy. Gerard looked sheepish. As much as I despise him right know, I don’t want to cause any more trouble so I spoke up before he could.
“We had a, err, rope failure. Guess I should have paid more attention in Brownies.” All three looked at me dumbly. “Like the scouts but for girls.”
“Ohhhhh.” They all said in unison. Americans! As soon as Frank hauled us out of the water we started back to shore. I will die happy if I never see a mother fucking lake again in my life.