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• The Letters of the Law

  (#) GryffindorDragon 2008-05-22

  Humorous. A cute little piece. One thing -- Does the law state beds are supposed to have windows? or the bedrooms (which would be dormitories for the Brits)? So if the 5th year Gryffindor boy's dormitory has its windows closed, why would Ron be in violation because his bed doesn't have windows?

  Author's response

  I have figured - they live in a fortress, they don't have windows.
  
  At most, they probably got portholes, and I doubt they have those in the bedrooms themselves, and even if they do, than portholes don't have window pans on them, so they can't be secured anyway.
  
  
  The law doesn't require having windows, naturally, having a three-feet thick stone wall would have even better success in quieting the sound of the snores than an inch-thick sheet of glass, but that's the entire idea here - the law is dumb, the pople upholding it are even dumber. If the law requires you to secure the windows, then, by hook or by crook, secure windows you shell! And if you don't have any? Well, that's not our fault, now, is it?
  
  That is to say, it is the letter of the law, not its spoirit, which is upheld and enforced.
  
  Which is why, one letter wrong, 'e' instead of 'o', turns the table upside down.
  
  
  
  -stealacandy

• The Letters of the Law

  (#) userid 2008-05-22

  The second paragraph you have the head boy wishing them a "god term".
  
  Could be funny for a omake but it should be good right?
  
  Lol a HP/Bruce Almighty crossover

  Author's response

  Thanks for catching it, my usual Beta-reader just came out with a new fic of his own and didn't have the time to go over this one, so I went without.
  
  Anyway, I thought about it, and decided you're right, it is a goot OMAKE idea, so I wrote it down, and will update it in a jiffy.
  
  Check the story again in a few minutes, hope you'll like what you see.
  
  
  
  -mo

• The Letters of the Law

  (#) GundumM 2008-05-22

  i like the fic. but the omake makes no sense

  Author's response

  Someone suggested a Bruce Almighty/HP crossover, so I crosed Ron.
  
  Bruce was a guy with some problems, especially underachieving and insecurity, so it seemed to fit. He then gets contracted by God to replace him - only localy, mind you - while He went on vacation.
  
  So, Bruce gets the Almighty omnipotent powers and immediately starts abusing them to smite the sinners. That is, people who poissed him off. He shoots a meteorite in the middle of town, sets a minor plague and an ass-monkey on some hudlams that trashed his car (which he replaced with a brand-new sports car, by the way,) and makes the guy who won the job he was vying for make a fool of himself on live, national TV. Eventually, though, it al comes back to bite him, as God returns and punishes him as well.
  
  Well, something like that.
  
  So, Ron gets the power of God, the power to smite down the sinners, and overdoes it of course, so God smites him down right back.
  
  Also, this is a refference to an old joke I heard some twenty years ago. It went something along the lines of:
  
  "A rabbi and a priest were playing one-on-one basketball. Each time the priest would aim, shoot, and score, and he would follow that by a small thanks-giving gesture or prayer. The rabbim however, would aim, rather badly, apparently, as when he threw the ball, it never got in. So he would then curse: "Damn! I missed!"
  
  "Damn, I missed!"
  
  "Damn! I missed!"
  
  At some point, the priest finally had enough, and told the rabbi, "You are a man of God, you shouldn't cuss so much. Appart from setting an example to your congragation, God himself is listening!"
  
  So the rabbi tells him, "What will he do, strike me down with lightning?" and goes back to play - and miss, and cuss.
  
  That goes on for some more time, untill, all of a suidden, out of the bright sky, a lightning strikes down and hits... the priest.
  
  Then a solemn voice comes out of a cloud:
  
  "DAMN! I MISSED!"
  
  
  
  -mo

• The Letters of the Law

  (#) Pointer 2008-05-23

  "But there aren't any windows here!"
  
  And thus I would argue for either defendant; that all windows present are closed and secured. Further, that neither prosecutor can demonstrate otherwise.
  
  Nuf said.
  
  Funny as hell, though.

  Author's response

  This only goes to show how daft Draco is to interpret the law that way, and how daft are the rest of the people on the scene, and the wizarding world in general, for buying in and not seeing the obvious hole in the logic.
  
  And, of course, how daft are the people who wrote the law in the first place.
  
  Actually, of all the dumb laws from Ma on the site I mentioned, that one is rather reasonable, there should be more laws preventing people from making noise in the moddle of the night.
  
  A couple of years back, they renovated the mall across the street from me, which held some department stores, clothing, shoes, electronics, phones, home appliances, kitchen appliances, stuff like that, a super market and a couple of resturants, into an entertainment center with resturants, coffee shops, and various modes of entertainment, including a bowling pl;ace thingy, which closes well past one in the morning, so each night young people come out of it in the most ungodly hours speaking loudly or shouting drunkedly over their heads - and into my window.
  
  And only recently, some guy from amn appartment from across of my bedroom window took to leaving his TV open and on full volume for the night on occasion, on some music channel, and so I tend to find myself waking up at four in the morning to the most annoying songs they could find (which is why they play them at four a.a. and not at prime time...) and can't get back to sleep.
  Then of course there are all the burgler alarms on houses, cars, and worse of all, shops, as their owners aren
  t even there to shut them off even if they were so inclined, they all go off and on for hours!!!!
  
  There really should be laws against that, but there aren't much, and the few that are, are not enforced. (Like the law stating an alarm shouldn't sound more than fifteen minutes, yeah, sure...)
  
  But other laws are plane stupid, outright weird, or completely unenforcable.
  
  Like the one that goes in story #2 of "The Letters of the Law".
  
  Here's a teaser for you:
  
  
  "Here, read this!" and Seamus shoved the Daily Prophet under Dean's nose. He read it.
  
  
  
  'In a move that surprised many, Cornelius Fudge ratified Lucius Malfoy's suggested bill of copying several laws from the colony of Massachusetts in North America. Most notably, one that decrees that "A woman can not be on top in sexual activities." Fudge has been criticised by some, who have been wondering how come Malfoy, who was incarcerated in a ministry holding cell until he turned up in the Minister's office to present him the bill, was free to do so in the first place. On the other hand, the "Pure-Bloods for Tradition League" announced its support of the new decree. Perkee Witertomp, their spokesman, had that to say: "It is nigh time that women should know thier place in society. Huh! Take that, Umbridge. Undersecretary, my ass!" This reporter, however, has come upon evidence the "Pure-Bloods for Tradition League" is actually a social organization for cross-dressing pedophiles.' Dean turned a page to see a picture of Dolores Umbridge in her usual pinks. According to the caption, the man in the picture was high up in the League, and had a fetish for dressing like a nine year old girl. "Oh Lord!" Dean rubbed his eyes.
  
  
  
  "My eyes, they burn!" I have to wipe that image from my mind and go back to writing.
  
  
  -mo

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