FicWad

A/N: I don't own Harry Potter and wouldn't particularly care to. I would like a rental agreement with option to buy for Hermione Granger. A short term contract with Nyphadora Tonks wouldn't be turned down. A Long-term agreement with Luna Lovegood would probably be a whole lot of fun. Any time Padma Patil wants to open negotiations, call me and oh for aweekend with Fleur. Oddly Lavender and Padma's sister (despite being her twin)Parvati do nothing for me...

A/N2: This is my response to achallenge offered by Cloneserpents to tell the story of the displaced canon-ish Harry from his wonderfully goofy/smutty story "Crack'd Mirror." If you've not seen the original, I highly recommend taking a look. The Story resides at: http://www.ficwad.com/story/88710

Shawn's story is entitled "Crack'd Mirror". Since I'm attempting the other side of the story, this one is:

Mirror Crack'd

When Voldemort had punished Gibbs for not providing a virgin, he had mentioned something about "completely unpredictable results" occurring because of his mistake. Well, early the next morning, just as the sun peeked over the horizon that "completely unpredictable result" woke up in a very confused state of mind in the cavernous master suite of a most impressive mansion.

A slightly modified exerpt from Cloneserpents' Crack'd Mirror

Chapter One

Harry Potter slowly woke with a confused look etched on his face. He was on a huge bed with silk (!) sheets the color of blood in a cavernous room. He found this situation to be exceedingly odd, seeing as he had fallen asleep in his lumpy bed in the smallest bedroom of Number 4. But what had amazed and confused Harry the most was that he had been wakened by several most amazing sensations.

The first being a wonderfully warm wet suction on 'Little Harry'. 'Little Harry' was at full embarrassing attention. The second amazing sensation was in his left hand. It appeared to be cupping a most supple breast, a rock hard nipple pressing against his palm. He raised his head to look down. How very odd. All he could make out was a black haired blur over his crotch. To his left was another black haired blur. The two did not appear to be connected. Why couldn't he see? He had never needed his glasses in his dreams before.

Looking to his right he could make out a blur that appeared to be his glasses on an ornate side table next to his wand. Not wanting to disrupt the dream, but still wanting to see what was going on he snatched his glasses up and put them on. His breath caught in his throat, the girl bobbing on his penis while gazing lovingly into his eyes was one of the Patil twins. Cool, he couldn't remember ever dreaming of them before. The girl whose breast he held in his hand was... the other twin. Ok, this was even better than cool. He had never once managed an 'actually having sex' dream before, much less a 'two girls at one time' dream, and never mind twins.

"Ooh Master" the twin on his left cooed, "You are so good to us. After Padma finishes, will you fuck me, please?"

Ooh. Dream Parvati had the best ideas. Harry's eyes glazed over as he considered the possibilities and was about to agree whole heartedly when the girl on his left gasped. Harry returned his focus to her to find she had a knife against her throat. A knife held by a very angry Luna Lovegood.

"No, no, no little slut. If the Master wants to fuck you, he will. You don't ask."

"Luna?"

"Good morning my love." The grey eyed blond smiled. "I'll be taking care of your needs in a moment; this is just a bit of harem business."

The wonderful warm suction stopped, he looked away from Luna to see Padma had been pulled off of 'little Harry' by her hair by a very angry Hermione Granger. This did not bode well for the dream... Wait, did Luna just call him her 'love'?

"What are the rules, slut?" The angry Hermione asked.

"Sluts fluff, Alphas fuck." Padma said through teeth clenched in pain from what the bushy haired woman was doing to her.

Harry blinked. What the holy hell is going on? What kind of dream is this?

"The next time you try something like this, we'll cut your tits off." Luna hissed.

An angry Luna? Harry had never even imagined an angry Luna. "Luna?"

"Sorry Master, I over stepped." She returned her attention to the girl under her blade. "The Master likes your tits... He doesn't care about your fingers and toes, I'll remove them instead."

"You two have done your duty." Hermione said angrily. "The master is well and truly fluffed. Get out."

The twins scampered naked from the room. Harry lay on the bed, naked and fully erect, paralyzed by the situation.

"Honestly Harry," Hermione said unlacing her top. "We can't leave you alone for a minute." At some level Harry realized that she had her hair cut to a different style. It now framed her face in a much more flattering manner.

"The nerve of those two, thinking they could take our places, as if we were just your favorite pair of fuck toys." The now naked Luna said taking Parvati's place at Harry's side."

"We are his favorite pair of fuck toys." Hermione said as she straddled him, reaching down to grasp 'little Harry'.

Harry tried to understand what was happening, tried to ask the naked pair what the hell was going on. Then Luna covered his mouth with her own, and Hermione sank down taking his length inside of her. He discovered that he no longer really cared.

---===oooOOOooo===---

Now this is the best dream ever. Harry told himself as he collapsed upon the bed. Dream Hermione and Dream Luna seemed to like everything he did to them. With them? Whatever. The point was, this was a fantastic dream. Best of all Dream Luna and Dream Hermione didn't seem to have problems with his poor misshapen 'little Harry'. Harry had lived in fear of any woman ever seeing his wedding tackle since Ollie Wood made comments in the Quidditch shower room first year comparing him to a hippogriff. He figured that no woman would ever be interested in anyone so disfigured.

After an hour and a half of what he prayed was a realistic bout of carnal experimentation, Harry laid on the bed looking up at the two women his subconscious had made for him when he noticed that they were both looking at him oddly.

Suddenly the pair had their wands pointed at him. Some part of his orgasm addled mind wondered just where they had stored those wands...

"Who are you?" Hermione hissed.

"What have you done to our Master?" Luna demanded,her eyes slits of fury. "You look like him, you smell like him, you even taste like him, but you fucked up."

"You cared about our pleasure far beyond what Harry Potter ever would. You fucked up when you didn't make it all about you." Hermione continued. "Where is Harry Potter?"

Well hell. Harry thought. Even in my dreams the universe craps on me.

---===oooOOOooo===---

"Ok." Harry said. "I want to wake up now."

"Nice try. Who are you?" Dream Luna pushed the tip of her wand into his neck.

"I really want to wake up now." Harry said again speaking to the room at large rather than the two women who had inexplicably gone from having sex with him to pointing wands at him. "The sex was great, but this dream has taken a most unpleasant turn."

"To hell with this." Dream Hermione said. "I'm done wasting time on you. Legilimens!"

And she was in his mind. Harry felt his every memory pour out to the dream woman. This wasn't like when Snape attacked his mind. It wasn't like when Voldemort possessed him. Dream Hermione's Dream legilimency was seductively gentle, a light suction on his memories, which pulled them to the woman without causing any him pain. He poured himself into her, an act more intimate than any of the sexual acts they had just shared. Every moment of his life from his first memories to waking up this morning with a pair matching Patil twins having their amazing way with him moved before his eyes and drained into the woman until he knew orgasmic oblivion.

Still naked, Hermione Granger rocked backward on her haunches, dazed by the extent of what had just happened, her mind desperately attempting to process the memories she had just received and a crushing headache starting to bloom in the middle of her forehead, "Holy Fuck."

Those words shocked Luna Lovegood more than the substitution of this doppelganger for her beloved master. Hermione never swore, except during sex. "Who is he?" she asked.

"Headache potion" Hermione gasped through clinched teeth. "He and I just had a full mind meld."

Luna immediately scampered to the potions locker and returned to her friend. Hermione tipped the vial back and sighed as the potion worked it magic.

"A full mind meld? How is that possible? That's only supposed to happen when the caster has the complete and utter trust of the subject. He isn't Harry, hell even Harry wouldn't trust either of us enough to successfully meld."

"He IS Harry Potter." Hermione said as the pain behind her eyes abated. "He's just not our Harry. He's from, well, I guess we could call it a parallel universe, and has no idea of how he got here. He doesn't even know that this is real. He woke up with his cock in Padma's mouth and thinks this is all an especially vivid wet dream. He knows both of us as friends; in his reality we are all students together at a school in Scotland, the twins included. The mind meld worked because he trusts the Hermione he knows completely."

"Then where is our Master?" The blond asked.

"I don't know, and neither does he." The bushy haired woman said gesturing toward the sleeping man. "Perhaps he's where this one came from."

Luna rose from the bed, pulled on a thin robe, and began to pace. "We've got to protect our positions here. Without Harry and his power keeping out enemies at bay we are dead you and I, and everyone else connected to Harry."

"I agree." Hermione thought for a moment. "We aren't without Harry though. This IS Harry Potter. Maybe not the right one, but he could learn. He's Harry without the arrogance."

"But with the nice big cock, boundless energy and an inordinate willingness to please." The blond noted.

"Trust you to keep the important things foremost in your mind Luna." Hermione smiled. "We need him. Through this Harry, we can take control of this fortress and remain safe from the King."

"He has the power of our Master. Just not the experience in using it."

"I agree. He doesn't know it yet, but this Harry Potter just got himself a pair of Mistresses." The Brunette smirked. "Mistresses who appreciate the nice big cock, boundless energy, and the inordinate willingness to please."

Luna laughed. "Now who's keeping the important things foremost in her mind?"

---===oooOOOooo===---