FicWad

Objects in the rear view mirror.
First in the series

Dedication: For Ryu (or whatever he's calling himself this month), my deliciously patient Beta. Happy Birthday cariad!
Note: There will hopefully be a sequel of sorts. A really short sequel. A really really really short sequel.
Key:
~Flashback~
Song

The skies were pure and the fields were green
And the sun was brighter than it's ever been
When I grew up with my best friend Kenny
We were close as any brothers than you ever knew

Sirius sighed and looked out at the driving rain in the garden beyond. He couldn't sleep, and it wasn't the fault of the rain pattering its tune against the window. No, it wasn't the fault of the rain, though he could blame it so very easily if he wanted to. It was because every time he closed his eyes he would see James' face smiling at him from that long ago day when he'd been his best man, as clearly displayed against his eyelids as it was in Harry's photo album. Remus, his reluctant host, had been there too; looking after everything, everyone, and had been going between Lily and James all morning, smiling his rare smile. Pettigrew had been taking the pictures, the lying treacherous little weevil...

Sirius sighed, exasperated by this insomnia. It wasn't like this in Azkaban. After the first two years, he didn't think about his friends any more and had slept soundly every single night thereafter, occasionally waking to a muffled scream echoing through the fortress. He'd slept so soundly there in the first three years that the Dementors had had to wake him up to make him suffer. After that the years blended, he had no sense of time in that stinking cell, with those monsters Dementor and Wizard alike. He couldn't have told you how he passed the time, let alone whether he had slept or not.

Turning over with a shudder that refused to leave, he shut his eyes to try and stop these thoughts. It didn't work nearly as well as staring at the rain had.


~The sun had been shining brightly as They had left the church in a shower of confetti. And that reception...Sirius would never forget that reception for as long as he lived. The last time 'The Hogwarts Marauders' had played together. Sirius on vocals, James on lead guitar and Remus on drums. The beat had danced around them, bodies swayed to their whim; they were young and the world would bend to their whims. And after everyone had gone, having seen the newlyweds on their way to the airport on a broom, Sirius and Remus had been left to clear up. The muggle mobile disco Lilly's parents had brought was still playing under Mundungus' charm. When it once again rolled around to the erection section, Sirius had taken hold of his friend to dance. It was only ever meant as a joke and Remus had laughed after bopping Sirius on the head with a pile of used paper plates.

But it stopped being funny as the songs changed, they realised that they had danced through the whole song and didn't exactly feel inclined to stop now. It still didn't feel wrong when they'd stopped dancing because they'd forgotten to keep moving with Sirius' lips inching closer to Remus'.

Until the crunching of a butterbeer bottle under his foot jarred them both to their senses, sending them both scurrying for the black bags again. ~


It was always summer and the future called
We were ready for adventures and we wanted them all
And there was so much left to dream
And so much time to make it real

Remus Lupin was standing outside his back door in the freezing downpour of rain, wrapped in his thick dressing gown and gazing up at the moon. He knew perfectly well how close it was to being full, but that wasn't why he was out. It was why he told himself he was out, but the reality of the thing was that since Sirius had arrived he hadn't had one full night of sleep. He wouldn't tell Sirius this, not for the world. It would only upset him more. Remus found himself fervently wishing for a cigarette; even though he'd given up three years previously to take up his position at Hogwarts. And so, instead of something bad for his lungs he produced something bad for his teeth from the pocket of his ancient dressing gown - a lollipop. All be it a slightly furry lollipop he thought, picking at the maroon fur on the black sweet.

Late at night, when he was alone, strange thoughts tended to strike him out of the blue. It did right now. It occurred to him that his lollipop was currently a lot like his life. There was a lot of old fluff stuck to things he would need very soon. Like his duelling skills, his flying skills, his trust. Yes, there was a lot of fluff and dust to remove before any of those things shone again for the Order. But he did wish that perhaps he could take some of that fluff and use it to dim other parts, like his memories. No. Only to dim the bad memories, like the day he was bitten by a werewolf. That could go. So could the day James and Lily died, and especially the day of their funeral. His very first day at Hogwarts could go too. The night that Sirius had tricked Snape and the day he'd been put away in Azkaban. Or the day, not so long ago, when his mistake in not taking the wolfsbane had cost Sirius his acquittal, his freedom.

Finally satisfied that by sucking the sweet he wouldn't be exposing himself to hairballs the size of golf balls, he strolled back under the porch awning where it was dry and dark. But the dilapidated roofing still let him see the night sky as he leaned back, lost in his own thoughts.


~4th year:
The sun shone brightly through the leaves of their tree, dappling not only the soft grass, but the two young men lying under it, waiting patiently for their friends to finish their last exam. At least one of them was waiting patiently; eyes closed peacefully and reclined against the trunk of the tree. The other was impatiently drumming his fingers on the worn cover of his friend's DADA book.

"Please stop that, Sirius." Remus mumbled. One piercing amber eye slid open to glare playfully at his friend, who in his turn pulled a face and kept right on drumming his fingers. "Sirius, please? Look they'll be out soon and I'd like a chance to relax."

Midnight blue eyes darted a glance at the young wizard besides him from under the mass of black hair. Later Remus would spot the signs he should have picked up on at the time. The nervous glances, the fiddling, the sheen of sweat on the forehead of a boy who didn't sweat outside the Quidditch pitch, the faint but tangible scent of fear on the warm summer breeze... Yes, later he would think back, and realise.

"You mean after all that action you've been doing at home...with your sick cousin and all..." Remus tried to interrupt, but as was often the case, Sirius would not be stopped "Who you absolutely had to go and see in the middle of exams..." Sirius gave his friend a weak smile "Gee Remmy, your excuses are getting worse."

The other boy opened both his eyes, worry making his face its usual map of premature lines.
"What excuses?" He was proud that his voice held nothing but innocent wonder. Sirius wasn't fooled though, he never was, and he found himself caught in the first direct look Sirius had given him all day.

"We know about you, Remmy. We've known for ages."

14 year old Remus just closed his eyes again, but this time it wasn't to keep the sun from his eyes, this time it was to stop tears from forming. He knew it would happen eventually, they weren't stupid but... it still hurt.

"I see," Remus got up and wiped vigorously at his dry eyes "I'll lea-"

"-We want to help you Remus." Sirius interrupted.

There was a silence between them then, and the birds' singing almost sounded like mocking laughter. Mocking birds, Sirius thought humourlessly as he watched his friend absorb what he'd told him. Remus suddenly seemed so much older, so tired. The cruel sun picked out each of the new grey hairs, highlighted the beginnings of lines around his eyes and the rings under them.

"No one wants to help a werewolf." The slighter boy replied. How Sirius hated the resignation in his voice, it sounded like he was quoting something out of a ministry handbook. And for all he knew he could have been, the ministry certainly had it out for them.

"No, that's not right." Sirius shook his head slowly, watching still as Remus climbed dejectedly to his feet. He didn't get far though. Before he could take more than one step forward the other boy had taken a firm hold on the hem of his cloak to stop him running away from a conversation he was sure he didn't want to have. Determined to stare him down just this once, Sirius didn't flinch from the look levelled on him from on high. "We want to."

"Hey, Remmy, Siri!!" James and Peter were running over the lawn towards them, waving their arms like madmen as they ate up the lawn under their feet. The stouter Peter was red in the face and appeared to be having trouble catching his breath from trying to keep up with the ever swift James. Sirius smiled and gave them a little wave, letting go of his friend's cloak when it was tugged from his hand.

"You already have." Remus murmured, a few of the years that had so recently piled themselves onto him lifting briefly. "I'll see you all at lunch. I want to check how I did on that charms exam." ~


Remus smiled at the memory. It was one that could definitely stay, if he could just ignore the other Pandora's Box of memories that were connected with it... He had far too much time on his hands, and by the many strands of Merlin's beard, he wanted a ciggy. The craving for one only attacked when he had nothing else to do, which was rare these days. But Sirius would probably just yell at him for smoking, or maybe give him that look of quiet disappointment his old friend only used when reproving himself. Not that he had any here. He moved a pile of old daily prophets to the floor and sat down on an even older bench. Tucking his legs under him, hitting his lollipop against his front teeth he chuckled as the smell of his liquorice flavour treat brought back another memory.


~Halloween, 7th year:

"Come on you guys, it's Halloween! We've got to do SOMETHING!" Lily sat down exasperated next to James who wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

"Patience Lily." Remus said, looking at the red-faced teen and lying back on the sofa.

"Relax, Lil." Sirius said, smiling wickedly. Peter, James and Lily looked at the both of them.

"What have you two done?" James asked in his I've-missed-something-really-good voice.

"Us?" Remus made an overdramatic gesture of shock "Did you hear that Mister Padfoot?"

"Indeed I did Mister Moony." Sirius looked scandalised and threw an arm around Remus as if to hold himself up "Us? Pulling a prank without your assistance, Mr Prongs? Ye Gods!"

"You guys quit it before I knock your heads together! What did you do?!" James laughed. Remus and Sirius literally grinned evilly at their fellow Marauders in a way that reminded all there of the definite canine side lurking beneath the surface of them both.

"That's for us to know, and you to find out."


Later they made their way down to the Great Hall and burst out laughing when they saw the Slytherins with their hair all Black and Orange stripes. Remus and Sirius smiled proudly at the sour look on Snape's face and James clapped them both on the back.

Sirius grinned at Remus, and Remus felt his heart skip a beat when the gaze lasted just that second longer than necessary...~


Remus chuckled a little, his mirth trailing off into a sad sigh as he lent back yet again to watch the rainfall in his back garden, his heart a little lighter in his chest.


But I can still recall the sting of all
The tears when he was gone
They said he crashed and burned I know I'll never learn
Why any boy should die so young


Sirius still couldn't sleep. He'd tried everything but the images when he closed his eyes just kept getting worse. Now all he saw was James and Lily's bodies spread-eagled on the floor. Unmarred but dead. Utterly without life. His heart broke every time he thought of it. He should never have made them make Wormtail their secret keeper, far better him or Remus. Another pang of guilt. How could he have ever distrusted Remus? Loyal, brave Remus? Remus who had once, just for one night, been his lover?

Hoping his host and friend was asleep he got up and wandered out to the garden. Rain was falling and a few stars were visible between the clouds. He looked upwards and closed his eyes, letting the rainfall on his face. It was cold, good, and refreshing.

"Couldn't sleep either Padfoot?" Came a gentle voice from behind him. He whirled around, blushing a little at being caught indulging like this. Remus smiled at him from where he was sitting out of the rain on a bench, feet tucked under the excessively large dressing gown he seemed to remember belonging to the werewolf's rather hefty father, his grey speckled hair mussed and a black lollipop clutched between his fingers instead of the cigarette he'd expected. "Don't worry. I'm not going to be selling any stories to the Daily Prophet." Remus said as he put the lolly back in his mouth. Sirius smiled sadly at him.

"Nightmares." Sirius said as he joined him on the bench.

"Tell me about it." Remus sighed, pulling his legs up so that Sirius had more room to stretch out.

"Every time I close my eyes, Moony, I see James." Remus stayed silent and waited for Sirius to continue. "I see him like we were in our Marauder days. I see his wedding day. I see the night he died. Gods I-" Sirius closed his eyes to stop tears and the visions returned. "-I failed you all. The Marauders died because of me!" He pinched the bridge of his nose, fighting tears as he had a thousand times before.

"Padfoot? Look at me, Padfoot." Remus said, putting a hand under his friends chin and forcing him to look up. Sirius' eyes were red with lack of sleep and unshed tears. "Firstly, the Marauders are not dead! We two are still alive, and as long as we and Harry are still here so is Prongs. As for the rest... Padfoot, what happened wasn't your fault."

"It was."

"How? And don't give me the 'I made them choose Peter' speech. The fact is either of us could've stopped him. I shouldn't have spent all that time away from you guys. Perhaps then you would have trusted me enough to tell me everything that was happening. I could have helped. I'm just as much to blame as you."


We were racing, we were soldiers of fortune
We got in trouble but we sure got around
There are times I think I see him peeling out of the dark
I think he's right behind me now and he's gaining ground


"Yeah. You would have figured it out, and warned us all, eh Moony?" A pause, a hitched breath that both had the good sense to ignore. When he spoke next, Remus understood that the missing Marauder was Sirius' fixation for tonight. "I still see him though, Moony. And it's not like in Azkaban. It's worse, because I feel the good parts too."

"I know how you feel, honestly I do Sirius." Remus said, putting a hand on his friends arm and squeezing lightly.

"I know. You wouldn't lie to me." Sirius sighed. There were a few moments in which Sirius's mouth dropped open a little and Remus's eyes became cold to him as the werewolf remembered their last meeting before he'd disappeared.

"No, and I never have." Remus said slowly, removing his hand, distancing himself from a slightly shocked Sirius, old, suppressed, anger returned to his face. Sirius winced but didn't move.


But it was long ago and it was far away,
Oh God it seems so very far
And if life is just a highway,
Then the soul is just a car
And objects in the rear view mirror
May appear closer than they are


~Diagon Alley, One year after graduation at Hogwarts:-
Remus hummed to himself as he tidied the counter of the apothecary where his current job was. He smiled as the lanky form of Sirius Black sauntered in; looking like someone had just stolen the jam from his doughnut. Actually as though someone had stolen the doughnut, waved it in front of his face, laughed, insulted him, butchered his hair then ran away cackling. Bravely, knowing what the other teens temper could be like, he kept the smile on his face by act of will.

"Hey Padfoot." he greeted as he put the beetles shells back in their box.

"Don't hey me." Sirius growled, "Guess what I just heard?"

"What?" Remus asked. He was worried. Had Sirius found out that the Death Eaters were trying to recruit him?

"Apparently you are seeing Snape." Sirius supplied. Remus didn't know whether to laugh in relief or to kill Sirius for accusing him, for that was exactly what he had done.

"Am I indeed? Look Sirius," Remus pointed out the window "a flying Muggle."

"You're lying to me."

Remus was hurt beyond anything at these words and turned angrily on Sirius.

"Look, I don't care whether you believe me or not. I'm only one of your best friends after all. Why would I tell you the truth?!" Sarcasm edged his voice and Sirius almost winced, but pride refused to let him give in.

"I've seen you with him Remus!"

"No, what you saw was him threatening me! Get things right next time!"

"I saw you with him yesterday."

Remus pierced Sirius with one of his patented predatory glares.

"How dare you. How bloody dare you! Get the hell out of here Sirius. Until you DO believe me, stay the hell away from me." ~


And when the sun descended and the night arose
I heard my father cursing everyone he knows
He was dangerous and drunk and defeated
And corroded by failure and envy and hate


"I'm sorry for that Moony. I was stupid. I was jealous." Sirius muttered, leaning back on the bench. Remus gave him an odd look. Sirius never had come near him after that until now.

"Jealous? Of what?"

"Of Snape."

"Snape!" Remus had to laugh. If he didn't he'd cry and he wouldn't ever be able to stop. Sirius however took this the wrong way and turned his head away from his friend. "Oh, Sirius, I'm laughing not so much at you as at the thought that you could be jealous of Snape!"

Sirius still didn't turn back to Remus, and the werewolf's chuckles subsided to be replaced instead by silence as he watched Sirius sadly. He gathered his nerve and reached over to his old friend, grasped his shoulder firmly. He felt the muscles jump under his fingers, and lent forward a little further. It was best perhaps to leave the issue of Severus Snape to another time. No, it was far better to build his friend's self confidence before they faced that particular greasy haired demon.

"Padfoot... You escaped from Azkaban. You escaped your parents, and as I recall you had a hell of a time doing it. You're a regular Houdini." The werewolf stated cheerfully.

Sirius smiled despite himself, although Remus couldn't see him. God those were good times, despite everything, he thought, and he was dragged back into the past to his first concert. Their first concert.


There were endless winters and the dreams would freeze
Nowhere to hide and no leaves on the trees
And my father's eyes were blank
As he hit me again and again and again


~ Summer before 6th year:-
Sirius groaned as his father let him drop to his bedroom floor, clutching at his side and his nose bleeding.

"You will not disgrace the noble house of Black by playing Muggle Music in front of Wizards!!!" He yelled and shut the door behind him. Sirius glared at the door for a moment before dragging himself onto his bed and trying to find his wand.

::Damn:: he thought ::Left it downstairs::

A few minutes passed full of pain and laboured breathing, and then ::Oh Fuck, The Concert! Oh Shit!:: and that was his last thought before he passed out.


At the Leaky Cauldron's seldom used stage James and Remus were having full fledged panic attacks. The Audience were filling the seats, Rita Skeeter was in the front row covering the concert for the Daily Prophet and all the instruments were ready. And Sirius STILL wasn't there.

"I know Padfoot likes cutting things fine but he'd never cut it this fine, Prongs. Something's wrong." Remus said. James nodded.

"Come on, we'll take the chimney and get him here by force if we have to. Can't very well play without vocals."


Sirius was still out cold when voices filled his room. Remus and James had arrived at the same time and stumbled out of the fireplace. Remus was the first to spot Sirius and pointed him out to James who tried to wake him up.

"Sirius! Sirius, wake up." James whisperd. Remus sighed and did the only thing he could consider Sirius' ability to sleep for Britain. He threw the contents of a vase Sirius' mother made him keep in there all over him.

"What the hell are you two doing here?! And why the hell am I wet?" Sirius asked with difficulty, wide eyed. He winced as he sat up
.
"Where does it hurt, Paddy?" Remus asked as he moved Sirius' bloody shirt out of the way to inspect the damage while James kept watch. "Jumping Wizards! Sirius, who did this?" Remus asked as he preformed a quick healing spell on the broken ribs, one of which had been poking through the skin. Sirius' breathing at once became easier, although the wound still throbbed dully. "Going to have a scar I'm afraid." Remus added

"Thanks Moony." Sirius smiled at him, although his face was still deathly pale.

"Not a problem. Who did it? That was a nasty break."

"My Father. Apparently I was not going to embarass the family by playing tonight."

"Speaking of whom, he's coming up the stairs!" James hissed "Let's get out of here!"~


I know I still believe he'd never let me leave,
I had to run away alone
So many threats and fears, so many wasted years
Before my life became my own


~ "No Fucking Way!!!" Sirius said forcefully, shaking his head "He'll kill me when I get back, and I am not exaggerating!!"

"So don't stay!" James said, the idea planting itself in his mind

"Oh marvellous idea, brilliant! And where the fuck am I going to stay? You guys beat it! Now!! Please!"

James and Remus had to look twice at Sirius' face. Was he actually begging? They quickly disappeared into the wardrobe and just as Seldon Black burst through the door and threw something at his son. Sirius' snapped wand.

Before Sirius could grab it however his father was already on him. He put a body bind on his Son and levitated him onto his bed.

"This is for your own good, Sirius." He said as he set the pieces of his son's wand on the nightstand "Yours and Peter's and James'. Friends with a werewolf!"

James couldn't stand it and Remus had to hold him back. However James still managed to hit Sirius' father with a jelly legs curse. The eyes of the frozen Sirius looked as if they longed to laugh as his father began zig zagging all over the room, knocking over the desk chair and a table lamp.

Once Sirius was unfrozen, he did laugh, hard. He'd always longed to do this to his father and now his friends, his great friends, had done it for him!! James tried to drag them from the room but it didn't work. Sirius was laughing too hard once he'd been unfrozen and Remus had gone utterly stiff as a lump of immobile marble.

"Bye Bye Daddy-o. See you later. C'mon Moony, Prongs." Sirius chortled after perhaps twenty minutes he'd spent dressing his father in muggle clothing and flung his father's wand out of the window.~


And though the nightmares should be over
Some of the terrors are still intact
I'll hear that ugly coarse and violent voice
And then he grabs me from behind
And then he pulls me back


Sirius sighed and his breath curled up into the air under the porch roof, it was cold despite the rain. Maybe because of the rain. He was so cold, except for where Remus' hand grasped his shoulder. Warmth radiated from Remus in waves that travelled down Sirius' spine making him shiver slightly. It had been so long since anyone had actually touched him... So long since anyone had bothered to give him such a casual gesture of affection that it made him want more than just a hand to keep away the cold. He wondered if he'd be welcomed if he tried to get closer, wondered if the damp smell that seemed to cling to him would offend Remus more than having a desperate fugitive try to insinuate himself into his arms. So, irritated with his own insecurities, he contented himself with a half amused laugh that came out sounding more like a choke.

"Heh...Yeah, yeah I did, didn't I?"

"Yes, you certainly did. Do you remember our performance that night? The way the crowd cheered for us, the way the music rolled through our bodies and the building so much that we could still feel it when we were told to go home, completely pissed by the way, and stumbled into James' home a few minutes later even dizzier because of floo travelling?" Remus said, his voice was gaining passion at every sentence until Sirius had to turn his head and face him. This time the canine's smile was genuine and the laugh deeply amused.

"I remember everything up until the Ogdens Old Firewhisky. You?"

"High metabolism," Remus removed his hand and gave another suck on his lolly "I was almost sober within an hour of you lot going to sleep."

Sirius barked a laugh. The night was colder without his friend's hand on his shoulder.

Remus for his part was concentrating on his lolly, nudging the piled papers with his foot in the time honoured way of a man who isn't sure what he should say or do. He'd made the same self-distractions thousands of times over the years, and his companion was too familiar with it to misunderstand it as an attempt to ignore him. Hadn't Remus done the same thing the very first time they'd met? He'd spent most of the feast talking into his plate if his somewhat blotchy memory served him correctly. He and James had to keep at the smaller boy to keep the conversation flowing then, but of course there was no James here now to help him. After a moment's consideration, Sirius decided he didn't have the energy to try and force a conversation when the shadows under their eyes were darkening perceptibly with lack of sleep. Besides, wasn't the rain so much nicer to watch in silence with an old friend?


But it was long ago, and it was far away
Oh God it seems so very far
And if life is just a highway
Then the soul is just a car.


~Final week of Sixth year:-
The dorm room was silent, and the absence of posters next to two of the four beds was a telling reminder of the difficulties the Marauders were in recently. Remus had refused to sleep in the bed next to Sirius the evening after That full moon, and in the interests of keeping the peace James had swapped beds with his best friend. The disgraced Marauder still wasn't used to the new bed, but then he hadn't spent much time in it over the weeks since he turned 17. Regular as clockwork he'd sneak out once the whistling snores started from the direction of Peter's bed, and return four hours later. He timed himself. But tonight he returned early, and sneaked across to the furthest bed on the left hand side. Sticking his head through the curtains he checked that the boy he wanted was in bed, and not down in the kitchens grabbing a midnight snack.

"Remus?" He hissed, reaching over to shake the other boy's shoulder "Psst, Moony! Wake up."
Bleary eyes glared at him as their owner sat upright.

"What do you want?" He asked, wiping the sleep from his eyes. It was a relief to Sirius that Remus wasn't snapping at him for waking him up.

"I've got something I want to show you. Come on."

It took a good deal more coaxing than it used to take to get Remus to agree to follow him, and when he did it was with a reluctant silence and under James's invisibility cloak. He led the way through the corridors to an old, mostly unused corridor at the back of the school. Threatening an arched doorway at the end of the corridor they eventually obtained entry. It appeared to be a disused stable, and all around there were old desks, books, brooms and other assorted junk. But at the cleared centre of the room, with a toolbox sitting next to it, was a sheet-covered shape.

"I wanted you to see this first. I've been working on it for ages..." Sirius pulled the cover away with a proud smile. Black paint and chrome gleamed in the dim light of a nearly extinguished candle. Remus' eyes widened slightly as he moved towards the motorbike, a reverent hand stroking the petrol tank. "Andromeda sent it to me for my seventeenth, to keep me away from you guys mostly. It was an utter wreck."

"It's amazing, Sirius. This must have taken you months, when did you find time to do this? I mean I've 'seen' you revising for your NEWTS just as much as anyone else."

A smile that did it's best to be bitter but never quite made it graced Sirius' face and maybe it was just as well that Remus never saw it. Things were too delicate between them now. He watched Remus crouch down and stroke the wheel with an eye for all the work that had gone into it, just as he'd known he would. Sirius leant over to rest his elbows on the handle bars of his baby.

"Well, it's not like I could hang around with you guys last term, and this term, well... Wormtail has been with you, and Prongs has been seeing Lily...You guys didn't need me around..."

Sirius shrugged, brushing an imaginary speck of dust from the headlamp. He was trying to make it come off like he'd accepted the reason why, like a thousand teenagers before him. And just like for those thousands of forlorn but juvenile souls before him, it didn't quite work. It hurt that they'd ignored him and most of all it hurt that Remus no longer trusted him, and that carried over into his voice despite the gruffness he forced into it. The golden brown head lowered a little, but Sirius never imagined that there was guilt on the sharp features.

"Look, Moony, I'm really, really sorry. I've done some bloody stupid things, but that was the worst. I just...There's no excuse, but I want you to take her." He fumbled the jingling keys out of his pocket and held them out, offering up the finest of all his endeavours to appease the anger of his friend. "As my apology."

Remus stared at the glittering metal in silence for a moment then pushed the keys back towards Sirius with a small shake of his head.

"No." He mumbled, carefully raising himself from his crouched position next to the bike.

The pained look that shot across Sirius' face was all too evident to the werewolf. The other boy had been asking his forgiveness for months now, all the time practically grovelling. Now he wanted to buy it with this bike, but Remus only wanted to know one thing,

"Why did you do it, Sirius? You never told me."

"I- I'm not sure. I mean those bloody Slytherins had been ragging on you three all day, and then there was Regulus and Snape. My sodding brother..."

"You shouldn't let him get to you..." Remus murmured, his mouth making the sounds long before checking with his brain.

"Yeah well... I know that now, don't I? They were standing there, smirking, and Regulus kept going on about you being half-blood and a Gryffindor -and other not so nice things. I just snapped, Moony, I'm so sorry. I just wanted them to know how strong you are and I never thought for one minute that Snivillus would take me seriously and actually go after you. I mean I knew he was thick but not that thick, you know?"

"Don't call him that." Remus admonished softly.

"Yeah. Right. Sorry."

They were quiet for a long moment while they played avoid-a-gaze in the dimly lit stable.

"Padfoot?" He asked in a conversational tone, prompting Sirius to look up at his friend almost eagerly. The slighter teenager hadn't called him by that nickname since the incident, and it had been assumed by James that Remus wouldn't call him that until he considered him a friend again. Maybe that was presumptuous, but the black haired boy could always hope it was a good sign.

"Yeah Remmy?"

"Did you think of getting this thing to fly?"

Merlin, he loved it when he was right.

"The thought had crossed my mind, but it's getting the 'right' spells for the job."

"There are some books on racing broom development in the library, and I'm sure James' parents have a few in their library. If we can find out the basic charms they use -"

"-We can develop our own for the shadow!"

Remus smiled at Sirius as they bent to cover the bike with the sheet once more, straightening it with care over the beloved machine.

"How about tomorrow we take advantage of my pass into the restricted section?"

"Moony, you're a star!"~


And objects in the rearview mirror
May appear closer than they are.
And objects in the rearview mirror
May appear closer than they are.


A little while later and the rain had begun to slow, and the smell of damp earth that came with it was something comforting to the two men. For Remus it was simply a shadow of what he could experience as a wolf, a reminder of the freedom that running through the woods on four legs could bring with the help of the wolfsbane potion that was separate from the pain and bloodlust that the change brought with it. For Sirius was no more nor less than physical proof that was no longer in Azkaban, where the only smells that the occasional gust of wind had brought was salt and seaweed. And that had only happened when the wind blew in a certain direction and it was carrying ice cold rain along in its wake. So very rarely did it reach him and remind him that there was something beyond those four damp, grey walls.

Reaching out for that other elusive thing, Sirius slid himself closer to his friend until their thighs bumped against each other and he could feel a little of the warmth that managed to escape the thick robe. Remus smiled softly at his companion and scooted over to banish what little space was left between them. His previously fluff covered lolly glittered blackly at Sirus as he silently offered the darker man a taste of his sweet. Smiling in return his friend accepted, only to pull a face when he discovered that it was liquorice flavoured.

"You Prat!" He cried, startling a few roosting birds to wakefulness. Besides him Remus' shoulders shook slightly with silent laughter. "You never shared sweets! Eerrggh! You utter, utter, Git!" He began to rub the taste away from stuck out tongue with the palms of his thin hands in his old dramatic fashion, just to make Remus' silent chuckles bloom with the deep, quiet sound of braking waves. It was a sound he hadn't heard since Hogwarts, but now it was older and far less carefree than it should have been. If it were possible for waves to brake carrying the weight of the world, then this is what Sirius imagined it sounding like.

"Missed you too, Siri." Remus chuckled, popping the lolly back in his pocket as Sirius laid his head back on his shoulder with a daft scowl on his face.


There was a beauty living on the edge of town
And she always put the top up and the hammer down
And she taught me everything I'll ever know
About the mystery and the muscle of love

~Sirius' home, 31st of July (the night Harry was born):-
"He was so-so 'small'." Remus repeated, demonstrating how small James' new son had been, and nearly empting the bottle of beer over Sirius' head. The black haired godfather grinned up at Remus and pointed at his mouth, opening it wide. The werewolf grinned back and tipped the amber liquid into his mouth until Sirius gagged and sat up, coughing. Peter, sitting across from his two friends and still on his first beer smiled at their antics, giggling.

"Wormy! Wormtail!" Sirius called, voice horse from the beer and an over abundance of singing and shouting earlier in the night which had seen them thrown from no less than four pubs. "We're uncles, Wormy!! Uncle Remy, Uncle Petey and Uncle Siri!" He fell back to the floor, struggling to uncap a brand new bottle. "Aren't you happy?!"

"Sure I am, but I've got to get up in the morning." Peter said, gathering his things despite his companions' protests. "Come on guys, we can't all laze around all day long." He said as he left, leaving them in silence for a minute or two. It wasn't their fault that their families had disowned them, wasn't their fault that the Order had confined them to their homes for safety until the next mission came through. There was no need to remind them of it. Eventually Sirius looked up at Remus with a grin on his face.

"Just the two of us, then Moony!"

"Why does it always end like that lately??" Remus asked, letting his body fall off the side of the sofa to land next to Sirius. A sharp stab of pain in his rear made him cry out, jumping back up. Sirius broke out in peals of laughter, snatching the bottle cap from under the firm be-denimed buttocks. He didn't calm down for a long while, but it was ok because Remus joined him, the pair of them rolling around on the floor like a pair of hyenas. It was the difficulty in breathing that eventually got them to calm down, sharp gasps drawing air with difficulty into their lungs...

"Bec-because Jamesy has Lils, an' Pete has his job, an-and me and you've got....erm..." Sirius finished with a wave of his hand.

"We've got the Order, and now," He grinned up at Sirius, prodding his shoulder a little harder than necessary. "We've got Harry to look after too."

"Yep, we have!" He frowned a little with the thoughtfulness of a drunk. "Does that mean we've got to make another oath?"

"Don't think we have to. But we could. I mean, where'd be the harm?"

"Okay, okay... umm okay...repeat after me."

"Famous last words..." Remus grinned, a mischievous glint in his eye.

"Shaddup." Sirius huffed.

"Shaddup." Remus repeated soberly, pulling a silly face and earning himself a glare from his friend.

"I solemnly swear on the Marauders, that no matter what the hell happens that -"

Remus made an attempt to make his face as serious as it was obvious Sirius was taking this oath.

"I solemnly swear on the Marauders, that no matter what the hell happens..."

"-I will protect and help Harry any way that I can."

"That I will protect and help Harry any way that I can."

They looked at each other silently for a moment and promptly burst out laughing. They both knew that the oath was unnecessary, just a parody of what they would have done anyway. ~


The stars would glimmer and the moon would glow
I'm in the back seat with my Julie like a Romeo
And the signs along the highway all said,
Caution! Kids At Play!


"Remus?"

"Hmm?" Remus earned himself a neck ache when he turned his head to look down at Sirius whose midnight blue eyes were now darker than the eastern horizon. The gaunt face was turned nervously up towards his, and his bottom lip was being worried by its owner. "What is it, Padfoot?"


~Six months after Harry is born:-
"What is it, Padfoot?" Remus asked, looking up from the research that was scattered across the table. A frown marred his young face as a shaken Sirius dropped into his customary seat, pale faced and shaking.

"The Longbottoms. Voldemort's lackeys got to them." His voice shook almost as badly as his hands. Concerned as much for his friend as he was for the young couple that he'd known since school, Remus' research lay forgotten as he sat on the arm of the chair next to Sirius, a tentive hand on his shoulder.

"They put the crictus curse on them, Remus." Sirius continued "If we'd gotten there any later, they'd be dead, and their boy with them. As it is, they're... They were taken to St Mungos. So they can't harm themselves."

"Oh Padfoot." Remus sighed, grieving for their friends' fate. He was staring into space, contemplating young Neville's future, when Sirius' hand gripped his shoulder and pulled him around to face him. The black haired boy had always been quick; it's what had made him such a formidable Quidditich player. It was those reflexes that Remus blamed for what happened next. Before he had a chance to protest or pull away, he'd found his lips pressed firmly against Sirius'. Almost falling off the arm of the chair as he pulled away, a confused and shocked look appeared on his face. "Sirius, what are you doing?!"

"Please, Remus?" Sirius asked quietly, red and blue eyes looking up beggingly as he inched closer. "Please, I just want to forget."

Remus allowed Sirius to kiss him again, and this time he kissed back, pushing his friend back into the seat. Callused hands found the skin under his shirt as the kiss grew in passion. This time when they broke apart it was for oxygen. Getting up, Sirius tugged the werewolf by the hand towards his room, a mix of gratitude and nervousness on his face and tentive hope in his scent. ~


Those were the rights of spring and we did everything
There was salvation every night
We got our dreams reborn and our upholstery torn
But everything we tried was right


Sirius cast his eyes down momentarily before they flicked back up to meet the concerned ambers. Not daring to give himself time to think, not daring to let the same old fears get in his way again, he leant up in a move worthy of a Gryffindor to do something he'd wanted to do for almost fifteen years.

He kissed Remus Lupin.

It was a soft and tentive, surprisingly chaste. It was nothing like he'd dreamt of deep where the dementors couldn't find it, and lasted a grand total of two seconds before he pulled away from the werewolf's warm lips. The prankster in him thought that the risk had been worth it for the look on his friend's face, after all how many times had they tried to shock Moony and failed? But the man was the one whose blood fled his face, leaving him as pale as the moonlight that filtered its way through the rain except for a dark sweep of black hair that covered one eye. A tapered hand came up to push it away affectionately. With it out of the way he could see the wolfish angles of Remus' face and the grey streaks in his hair highlighted all in silver as it regained composure and smiled softly, an action that had Sirius imitating him. He understood.

They weren't the young men they were, and perhaps had one of them gotten up the courage to admit this all those years ago, they would have been well on their way to making love there on the bench. But they hadn't, and if the years had taught them anything it was patience. Remus' hand slid down his face tenderly, coming to rest against his neck. His thumb rubbed slow, comforting circles over his pulse, making Sirius close his eyes in appreciation of the small contact.

In the thick trees less than a hundred yards off, the dawn chorus could be heard tuning up over the continuing rain. By mutual consent it seemed they rose to make their way back inside, the both of them stifling a yawn.


And objects in the rearview mirror
May appear closer than they are.
And objects in the rearview mirror
May appear closer than they are.

She used her body just like a bandage,
She used my body just like a wound
I'll probably never know where she disappeared
But I can see her rising up out of the back seat now
Just like an angel rising up from a tomb


~Pushing the werewolf down onto the bed, Sirius climbed on top of him to start unbuttoning robes with a feverish intensity. The man underneath him growled softly and reached up to dig his fingers into his shoulders, determined to switch their positions. So it was that a moment later that the darker man found himself pinned to the mattress with a beautifully scarred and exposed chest at the mercy of his mouth. Pleasantly preoccupied he didn't notice what Remus was doing until a button popped off to bounce against the wall and a rush of cold air met his sweaty skin. ~


The old memory had snuck up on him somewhere between the porch and the door between the living room and the rest of the house. Rumpled bed clothes were still on the sofa, the pillow fallen to the floor. Remus thought that perhaps that they must be awfully cold by now, and Sirius had been shivering outside. Come to think of it the man was still shivering just a little. It would be cruel to make him stay out here, surely? Catching the warm arm in his grip, he stopped his guest from returning to his makeshift bed before quite realising he'd done so.

"Moony?" The dark haired man turned to him, and for a moment he seemed to be disappearing into the darkened room beyond. Gesturing in the general direction of the only bedroom with a small toss of his head and a questioning glance, he wondered if in a few years time he'd count this moment as one of those he'd want banished from his memory. A flash of black-blue eyes and off-white teeth though and that particular worry was no-more. Warm palms met in the dark, and the hairs on Sirius' arm stood on end where Remus had held it.


But it was long ago, and it was far away
Oh God it seems so very far
And if life is just a highway
Then the soul is just a car.


~Already feverish pale young skin broke out in little droplets of sweat that broke were smudged like a translucent masterpiece on a living canvas. A masterpiece painted by greedy hands and hungry mouths that didn't care what they claimed. Driving need born of pain and fear pushed Sirius to regain control, all but throwing Remus to the other side of the bed. There was a passionate battle between them, akin to the first time the dog had ran with the wolf. Savage kisses were exchanged and they pitted strength against each other until Sirius' teeth scraped against the werewolf's neck. Remus shuddered and allowed Sirius temparary dominance.

"Cheater..." He hissed as the teeth were dragged down his collarbone. ~


The single bed wasn't large, but with a little skill they were able to settle down on the lumpy mattress together. Spooned against Remus' chest, Sirius smiled as softly at the reverent kiss that was pressed to his shoulder. Slender but muscular arms held him around the waist and their fingers were entwined against his belly, under the too-large quilt.

"I know that Dumbledore said I had to lay low..." Sirius chuckled quietly, and the soft puffs of air against the back of his neck told him that Remus shared his amusement.

"Technicalities, Sirius. It's all about the technicalities. He never said how low you had to lie."

Snuggling happily into their shared pillow, Sirius rubbed Remus' forearm affectionately.

"Thank Merlin for technicalities then." He chuckled, the chest behind him pressing against his back as the arms around his waist tightened. The gentle thrumming he could now hear was not the rain any more, nor could he really hear it. More like he could feel it and the steady beat brought on the sleep he'd been hunting for earlier. But still he struggled to hold his eyes open, to stay alert.

"Sun's coming up." Sirius mumbled irrelevantly. He got no answer except something half incoherent about breakfasts and a nose nuzzling its way through the thick hair to the nape of his neck. Smiling vaguely, he gave into the sludgy feeling in his muscles and soon was snoring softly.

And objects in the rear view mirror
May appear closer than they are


~Stated midnight blues smiled up from hooded eyes at his friend who was lying on the other side of the bed. One arm was draped across his eyes in dramatic fatigue. He was panting heavily and the scars that crisscrossed his chest appered to slide back and forth over his ribs. It was mesmerizing, the way they moved. So mesmerizing that he didn't notice amber eyes watching him from under an arm; not until the arm made its way to his face in an effort to attract his attention.

Like so many other nights during that war, they didn't sleep that night. But they did forget a few more times before the sun rose. ~


And objects in the rear view mirror
May appear closer than they are

It had been something less than a week since Sirius had passed through the veil. Five days, eight hours and 32 minutes if you were going to be pedantic about it. And no one had seen Remus Lupin since they'd arrived back at headquarters, except for the twins, who claimed they'd seen him feeding Buckbeak late one night. The reason behind this was more than likely the magically locked and bolted door of Sirius' bedroom which had defied the few attempts they'd made to force entry before Dumbledore had forbidden them from any further action. He'd told them that Remus would emerge when he was rested, and that there were more important matters to deal with.

Inside the room, the werewolf had just blinked at the commotion outside before turning his face silently back into the pillow he was clutching to his chest. The only sign of life that he gave was the occasional suppressed hitched breath and the spasuming muscle on the back of his right hand.

~Five Days, nine hours and seven minutes ago:-
Remus' head fell back to expose his neck as the lazy snogging turned into lazy groping on what Sirius had christened 'their' bed. Blunt fingers slid under his threadbare robes, caressing his abdomen, making the werewolf's hand skitter up the dark man's thigh and the similarly ragged robes ride up.

"Lupin? Are you in there?"

"Ignore the slimy git..." Sirius muttered against his neck, the vibrations making the hairs stand on the back of his arms. He would have happily complied, but Severus didn't seem to want to go away and leave them in peace.

"Lupin, Potter's gotten himself into trouble down at the ministry."

They froze the moment Harry's name was mentioned, and as Severus had predicted, the door flew open mere seconds later.

"He's taken the others with him?" Remus asked, stepping out ahead of Sirius. Severus nodded curtly.

"We're waiting for you downstairs. I've left a message for the headmaster."

"Let's go then!" Sirius announced only to be met with two pairs of infuriatingly calm eyes. He hated it when they did this. It always meant the pronouncement of five words which never failed to rile him up.

"You have to stay here." Remus began, only to have his lover snort in disgust. He rested a hand on his shoulder, squeezing reassuringly. "We'll get in there, get Harry out. He'll be fine."

"Yes, you'll help Potter most by staying out of our way here in your little safehouse." Severus drawled. Remus shot him a dangerous look before turning back to Sirius.

"Remus, this is Harry. My Godson, for Merlin's sake! I'm coming along with you! Now stop wasting time, and lets go."~


~ Twenty minutes later:
"There aren't many of them." One of the others murmured as they looked down at the scene before them. "We can take them, no trouble."

But Remus and Sirius were having their own urgently whispered conversation, a little apart from the others.

"Sirius, all I'm saying is be careful. It's been too long since you were in a duel."

"I can still take them. You've been helping me practice, haven't you?"

"Yes, but I wasn't trying to kill you."

Sirius kissed Remus softly, curling his fingers around his jaw tenderly. Remus returned the kiss briefly before pulling away an inch or two, worry on his face. He brushed Sirius' hair back carefully, before squeezing his shoulder.

"Please, Sirius. Just promise me you'll be careful."

"Let's get down there." One of the others said. There was a quiet bustle as the appropriate charms were cast. "Sirius, Remus, come on."

"We're coming, Kingsley." Sirius answered, turning his face away from Remus as he did so. "Moony?" He whispered next to his ear a moment later, as they all moved around in the dark space. They were all in position now, and he stood next to Moody, ready to open the doors when they needed it.

"Yes, Padfoot?" Remus returned, turning his head to catch the words.

"We'll be fine, you know. And we can pick up where we left off."

"I know." Remus whispered, patting his forearm. Sirius kissed his cheek before Kingsley raised his voice once more.

"Now, Remus, Moody!"

The doors burst open under their spells and they raced down the stairs into this wars' first skirmish. ~

She used her body just like a bandage,
She used my body just like a wound
I'll probably never know where she disappeared
But I can see her rising up out of the back seat now

The impressively secure door of Sirius Black's bedroom opened with a soft click and a figure with lowered head and hunched shoulders stepped out into the hallway. Somewhere a clock struck 1am. He padded quietly down to the kitchen in his slippers, and smiled weakly when he saw Moody sitting up with a cup of tea before him. The teapot still steamed softly before the old wizard, and the werewolf snatched a cup from the sideboard and poured himself a cup of black tea with three sugars. Not how he took his tea. How Sirius used to take his tea. The other wizard's ever roving eye made a note of it, and also added the post script of Ogden's Old Firewhiskey from the drawer under the table to its extensive notes.

So he'd reached that stage had he? Interesting.

"I didn't know you drank, Remus." The Moody growled curiously. Remus took the seat across from him with all his customary decorum, but the magic eye couldn't be entirely fooled. And soon even the ordinary eye was focused on the twitching muscle on the back of his comrade's right hand.

"Any port in a storm, Aliastor." Remus sighed into his cup, closing his eyes as he took a deep draught of the bitter drink. "Any port in a storm."

Silence except for the distant scurrying of the pests that still infested some of the rooms, and the creaking of the wooden floor planks stretching back into their places. The clinking of teapot against china, and the clunking of full cup against bear wood were the only sounds in the kitchen.

"Feed Buckbeak then?"

"Yes." Remus hesitated for a moment, bringing his cup up near his nose to take a sniff of the golden brown liquid. "Sirius wouldn't forgive me if I let him starve."

"You may be right there." Moody turned a scarred smile on the werewolf, and downed what was left of his own cup. Struggling to his feet he dropped the china cup into the sink with a clunk that was so very similar to that of his wooden leg on the floor.

"Have they been worried?" Remus asked, keeping his eyes fixed on the table. Moody grunted to himself. He'd known the werewolf since he'd come fresh out of Hogwarts to join the Order, and he'd only ever seen him this way once before. Fourteen years ago. Oh bugger.

"Molly and young Tonks are out of their minds." Remus snorted quietly at that image. "They keep trying to get upstairs to check on you, but Arthur has them under control. We know you'll get through this."

"You do?"

He looked at the younger wizard pityingly, a gnarled hand resting on his shoulder briefly.

"Sure do. You'll pull yourself together for the boy if nothing else." A soft thumping announced Mad-Eye's determined stride away from the table.

"Thank you, Aliastor."

"Don't thank me yet, Remus. There's an awful lot of people depending on you."

"There's a lot of people depending on all of us."

Moody grunted again and closed the door behind him. He paused on the other side, thinking for a moment over the state of the werewolf. The drinking, the new grey hairs, that twitch in his hand, and just how defeated he'd looked sitting there. It had been the same at The Howler, fourteen years ago at the victory party. Some victory party that had been, with the Order members all morose and grieving in a corner, Remus Lupin knocking back whiskey chasers with a single-minded determination to kill himself by alcohol poisoning. But he'd got through it before; he'd get through it this time too. He'd come with them to Kings Cross to see Harry off. Settled in his own mind, Moody took himself and his bad leg off to bed as carefully as he could so as not to disturb the bitch of 12 Grimmauld Place.

Back at the kitchen table, Remus Lupin looked consideringly at the bottle of whiskey before pushing it back into the drawer. There would be time for that after the next battle, or after the next members were taken down. Or after the next full moon. Oh shit, Moony. Without Padfoot there the wolf would rip him to pieces with the grief of loosing his pack again. With another small sigh he laid his forehead against the table top, taking in the scent of a thousand cooked meals and spilled drinks. He remembered that night at his own home when Sirius had kissed him, and thought that he'd deserve the wolf's torture this time.

What if he'd jumped in to help Sirius once he'd taken care of his own opponent? Would Bellatrix still have hit him with that curse, or would both of them have ended up on the other side of the veil? If he had, would Sirius have forgiven him for that? Was there a chance he could still save him, or at least discover where he'd gone?

Hands still clasped around the warm cup of tea, Remus couldn't help but get comfortable. The fire was still alight, and it was wonderfully warm, caressing his face. Yes, that's what he'd do. He'd research the Archway; get the Unspeakables to hand over their files on it. They still owed him a favour or two. He could find out exactly what happened to Padfoot, Sirius, last in the Black line.

"You do that." Came a small whisper that was lost on the former professor as he fell inexorably to sleep there on the table, seduced by the warmth from the fire, and already dreaming about midnight blue eyes. From a family photo still stubbornly stuck to the wall, the far smaller figure of Phineas Nigellus nodded approvingly and promptly disappeared to inform the headmaster that Remus Lupin was up and about again.

The twitch in Remus' hand slowly dissipated as his dream deepened.


I'll probably never know where she disappeared
But I can see her rising up out of the back seat now

~Three weeks ago -
"Ahh! ah! Moony!" Sirius called out, leaning his elbows against the handle bars of his old Shadow for support, sweat racing down his left cheek. His robes were gathered up at his waist and his naked arse had started sliding on the leather seat every time he bucked his hips. "By Circe's tits, don't stop!"

Remus, his mouth busy elsewhere decided to answer by doing something he knew from experience drove Sirius crazy. He started humming.

"Nghhhhhaahh..." Came the incoherent reply. Smiling in pleasure at the response, the werewolf stepped up his pace. Removing one hand from where it had been securing one pale hip against the motorcycle, he squeezed his lover's tightening sac gently. It was enough, sending Sirius over the edge and his seed into Remus' waiting mouth.

"Bloody hell, Moony... Bloody... buggering ... hell." Sirius panted, his narrow chest rising and falling rapidly. "When you said you wanted to... cheer me up, I thought you meant... the bike. Not, well... bugger me."

Remus stood again, smiling softly as he joined Sirius on the back of his beloved Shadow. "Is that a request?" He teased, wiping the corner of his mouth. Deep, breathless, laughter broke from the still prone and half naked man. He reached out for his lover, and the amber eyed man bent forward obligingly, resting his hands on the naked thighs in order to be quite thoroughly kissed.

"We can christen every room in Grimmauld Place if you like." Sirius grinned "As long as you'll be there with me, I really don't care about Dumbledore's edict. Why would I want to leave when I can spend all day in bed," His voice and face softened, and he pushed away a curtain of honey-silver hair with his nose until his lips brushed his partner's ear. "With the werewolf I love." He whispered.

Remus smiled, pleasantly shocked by the words. Turning his head into Sirius' nest of black hair, nuzzled until he was reasonably sure he was near his ear.

"You do mean me don't you?" He whispered

"Of course I do. Who else would have me?"

"Anyone with half a brain. Which unfortunately counts in Severus." Midnight blue eyes widened at that. His lover almost never said a word against the Potions Master. Backing off a few inches he looked at Sirius for a moment. He pulled his lover's robes back down over his lap carefully, squeezing his hips affectionately. "I love you too, Sirius Black."

Pushing himself upright, the darker man's smile very nearly split his face. It was mirrored on Remus' face as rough fingers cradled his cheek in their palm. Their eyes remained open and trained on each other as they kissed tenderly. ~