FicWad

A/N: Okaaaay, just a few things I need to say. One, this story is about Soubi and Ritsuka and will go into quite a detailed sex scene near the end - if you dont like it then dont read it, I dont want to be offending any body and recieving angry comments. Two, this story is entirely fictional and not a lot of this happened in the manga or anime, though obviously there will be similarities (such as the ear peircing) because it is based on Loveless. No duh, and three - hope ya'll like it and let me know what you think :] (Everything in italics is Ritsukas memory).
Rayray xox

Ritsukas POV.

Everyone wants to feel as if they have an angel. Someone whose there to protect them, and to guide them, and make everything okay when things go wrong. You want to know that whatever you do, your not facing it alone. That you have someone who will stand by your side no matter what.
I had an angel like that once. It was a long time ago now. Back when I was a child. I was eleven when I first met Soubi, though he had known my brother for a while before then, once my brother died we became friends. He taught me about fighting as a unit, he told me that I could command him, if I told him to do something he would do it. At first I tried to ignore that I needed him, I got angry at him often and it would hurt me whenever he said he loved me. It hurt because I thought he didnt mean it, that he was only saying it because he had to. And I didnt want to hear it, I didnt want to hear it because I loved him too, and when your only eleven years old - Love is a scary thing.
Soubi was there for me whenever I needed him, and I took him for granted. I know that now. The six years we were together was perfect, I didnt realise it then but I realise it now. There are memories of him that I have pushed into the dark recesses of my mind, things I cant bear to think about. I try not to think of him at all anymore, I went to his funeral and I greieved for him much longer than is perhaps healthy. Ten years on and I find myself in the park where we first made memories together. I still have those photos we took, probably under my bed somewhere where I wouldnt have to see them. But its not this park that brought the memories I tried to ignore surging forward, it was the blue butterlfy that fluttered down to perch on the bench I was sat on. Soubi always said he hated butterflies yet he seemed obsessed with them, I remember when I peirced his ears he always wore butterfly ear rings...

"Soubi I dont want to do this." I whined, staring in horror at the peircing gun he had handed me, it didnt look much like a gun. More like an oddly shaped stapler, but the needle in it was obvious and the idea of pushing that through his ears horrified me. Soubi placed a finger beneath my chin to lift my face to look at him.
"Please Ritsuka, I ask just one simple thing of you." He said softly, a small smile playing about his lips. I wanted to make him happy, but to peirce his ears - to be the reason the needle went through his flesh - it made me shudder.
"Soubi, I cant - " I begged but he pulled me into his lap, his lips close to mine and making my heart skip a beat.
"You can Ritsuka. Its very easy, you just put it over my ear lobe and press down, simple." He said kindly. I sighed and looked once more at the gun in my hand, just looking at it made my stomach squirm. I wanted to tell him I couldnt but he would just insist I could, I knew there was no way I could get out of this and it was only fair I did this for him - after all I would give him a command and he would do it without question, I know its only because he has to but even so - it wouldnt hurt to return the favour.
"Okay... Okay I'll do it." I whispered, not taking my eyes off the gun. Soubi took my hand in his and gently kissed my palm, making me look back at him.
"Thankyou Ritsuka." He smiled, his voice quiet and gentle. He didnt sound nervous at all, just happy that I had agreed to do this. I sighed, why did he make me feel like this? I hated how easily he could make me melt, how much my body would respond to him as much as my mind didnt want to. Soubi shifted, crossing his legs and pulling me close into him, I straddled his lap and tried to stop my hands from shaking as I held the peircing gun up to his ear, getting it into position over his ear lobe. My hands trembled and I couldnt bring myself to press it down, after a moment Soubi took my hands in his and gently pushed my face round to look at him.
"Dont be nervous Ritsuka, just push down as hard as you can. If you freak out half way through and dont do it properly then it will be more painful for me." I groaned, I knew he was only being honest but it didnt make me feel any more confident.
"Please Ritsuka, I trust you." He whispered and his lips softly pressed to mine, all nerves left instantly and I melted in his lap, cupping his face in my hands as I worked my lips softly against his, feeling myself go light headed. I loved kissing Soubi, his lips were soft and warm and perfect, they made me forget everything else and he pulled back too soon. I gave him a pleading look and he laughed softly, running his hand gently down my cheek.
"Your something else Ritsuka." He said fondly. He placed his hands over mine and raised the gun once more to his ear. "Now, perhaps I should stop distracting you from the task at hand." He smiled, his eyes sparkling, I smiled back, I didnt feel as nervous any more but my stomach still squirmed uncomfortably and my hands trembled lightly.
"On the count of three..." Said Soubi quietly and I clenched my teeth, waiting for the go ahead. "1...2...3 -" I closed my eyes tight and pressed down hard on the gun, there was a loud click and I felt it go through the soft flesh of his ear. My breath came out in short, sharp gasps, my heart hammering in my chest. I bowed my head and tried to regain control of myself, willing myself not to have a panic attack.
"Good, Ritsuka. Now do the same with the other one." Soubis voice sounded as if it was coming from far away and I shook my head, trying to clear it. I moved the gun away from his ear and moved it across to the other one. Soubis arms wrapped around my waist, his fingers slipped under my shirt and he ran soothing circles on my lower back as I once more clenched my teeth and waited for him to tell me to go.
"Okay... now." He commanded and I pushed needle through his ear with the same loud click ringing out. It seemed worse the second time, feeling the needle penetrate his soft skin. It made my stomach lurch and I dropped the gun to the floor, falling against Soubis chest and clutching his shirt in my fists as I panted, pressing my face hard against his warm shirt, allowing his heart beat to calm me. I decided I hated needles as I closed my eyes and tried to calm the queasy feeling in my gut. Soubis arms tightened around my waist before sliding up my back to hug me to him, rocking me gently.
"Thankyou Ritsuka. You've made me very happy." He whispered, kissing the tips of my cat ears softly. I raised my head to look at him, he was smiling down at me, his silver hair falling forward to frame his face.
"Does it hurt?" I whispered, gently touching the tiny hole in his ear lobe.
"Yes, a little." He said pleasantly. I looked at him in confusion.
"Do you like pain?" I asked him. He shrugged, cuddled me closer to him.
"Sometimes. It depends on the circumstances and how bad the pain is." He said quietly. I decided to leave it at that, nothing Soubi said confused me anymore. He kissed the top of my head softly and I closed my eyes, allowing his body heat to warm me.

A warm breeze whipped my hair around my face, bringing me out of my memory. I sighed and looked about me, the park was empty and it looked as if people hardly ever came here anymore. The butterfly had long since flown away and I had a weird feeling in my stomach from the memory, it felt as if all the old wounds I had spent so long healing had suddenly been torn open again and I had a lump in my throat. But now I had started thinking about him I couldnt stop. Everything went whizzing round my head, the first battle, the first kiss, the first time we lost a battle, the first time Soubi went to fight alone - but I didnt want to think of us as a unit. I didnt want us to be Beloved and Loveless. I wanted to think of the other times, the Soubi and Ritsuka times. One memory stook out in particular and I decided I had been ignoring these for too long, I had to think about him sometime so I settled myself against the bench and allowed myself to drown in my thoughts. Back to when I was fifteen years old...

Soubi was splayed out on my bed, absent mindedly twirling a strand of his hair around his finger as I sat at my computer, typing up my homework. School had started getting a lot more difficult now and I was struggling to think of all the things I was meant to be writing in my essay. Soubi had offered to help me but I was determined to do it on my own, but it was difficult to concentrate when I could see him out of the corner of my eye, messing around with his silky hair. I kept getting the over whelming urge to dive on him and it was getting harder and harder to ignore. Soubi of course was oblivious, he still didnt understand what he could do to me, whenever he kissed me he didnt realise how crazy my heart would go. How the smallest of touches would cause my stomach to tie itself up in knots, I wondered whether I had the same affect on him. I highly doubted it. Soubi saw me staring at him and raised himself up using his elbows, his long sleeved shirt was half undone since it was a hot night and the fabric slipped aside slightly to reveal his pale, toned chest.
"Are you okay Ritsuka? Do you need my help yet?" He asked with a smirk. I glared at him.
"No. I can do it on my own." I snapped. I heard him chuckle and when I looked round again he was lying on his front on the end of the bed, watching me with an amused expression. "What?" I demanded. Soubi shrugged, the smile never leaving his face.
"Nothing, its just I cant help but notice you've only written the introduction in the past hour." He said fondly. I turned to look at the computer screen and sure enough, I had done nothing except a small paragraph introducing the essay. I blushed a light shade of pink as I realised I was never going to get it finished with Soubi here, not when he was looking so good in those tight jeans and loose shirt.
"I cant concentrate." I whined, and Soubi laughed. I turned to face him and gave him a glare. "Its your fault, your distracting me." I complained. Soubi looked confused and he tilted his head to the side, his hair sliding off his shoulder as effortlessly as silk.
"Me? Why, what have I done?" He asked innocently. I got off my computer chair and crossed over to the bed, sitting down and allowing Soubi to pull me into his lap as he sat up.
"You havent done anything." I said quietly. Soubi frowned in confusion, but I could see the realisation twinkling in his blue eyes.
"So... whats the problem?" He asked. I sighed and ran my hands slowly over his shoulders, playing with his hair.
"The problem is that your looking too sexy for your own good." I said queitly, shyly, my cheeks burning. Soubi laughed quietly to himself and he placed a finger beneath my chin, lifting my face up to his.
"Um... I see... then, perhaps I should leave so you can do your essay?" He offered, the idea made my heart skip a beat and I shook my head frantically.
"No! Dont leave! I... I can do my essay tommorow. I wont be able to concentrate now even if you did leave." I pointed out. Soubi smiled, running the hand that wasnt holding my chin down to the base of my back, fingering the hem of my shirt.
"So... what do you suggest we do?" He asked innocently. I cupped his face in my hands and leaned forward to meet him in a kiss, his other hand went down to hold my waist as he fell back onto the bed, I lay on top of him feeling powerful lust kick in. I worked my lips hungrily against his and ran my tongue over his bottom lip, begging for entrance. He parted his lips and I slipped my tongue into his mouth, his grip on my waist tightened and his tongue clashed repeatedly with mine, our lips moving fast as I ran my hands through his soft hair. My heart was beating madly as his taste invaded my mouth, sweet and intoxicating, he pushed my tongue back, taking control. I gripped his hair tightly as he ran his hands beneath my shirt and up my back, feeling my flesh as his tongue plundered my mouth, we had never kissed like this before, never used tongues before and I was having the time of my life, but I wanted more. Now we had started I couldnt stop. Without thinking about it I ground my hips against his, rubbing our crotches together, he gasped into my mouth as I released a quiet moan. Without warning he flipped us over so that he was on top, his hands touching all over my body as he rocked his hips against mine. I panted as his lips attacked my neck, kissing and sucking. I ran my hands beneath his shirt, touching his soft skin closing my eyes in pleasure. I bucked my hips up to meet his and felt myself growing hard.
"S - Soubi..." I whispered. Saying his name seemed to bring us both back into the real world and all movement stopped, Soubi used his elbows to raise himself to look at me, his hair falling forward to act like a curtain round our flushed faces, my eyes were shining as were his.
"I think... I think I ought to leave, before this goes too far." He said, breathing heavily and his voice husky. He went to move off me but I seized his shoulders and pulled him back, he looked surprised but didnt try to fight me.
"No, Soubi stay!" I cried. He looked at me with a sad expression.
"I'm afraid if I do then I wont stop myself from..." He trailed off and wouldnt meet my eyes, but I knew what he meant. I ran a hand softly over his cheek causing him to look back at me.
"Soubi if... If we did... then I... I wouldnt mind..." I said shyly. Soubis eyes grew wide a look of shock on his face.
"Ritsuka, do you realise what your saying?" He asked. I nodded.
"Yes, I do Soubi. Please... Take me, take my ears -" Soubi began shaking his head.
"Ritsuka -" I didnt let him continue, I cut across him before he could say another word.
"Soubi please. I've known for ages now that I want my first time to be with you. I'm ready Soubi, why not now?" I begged. Soubi sighed and shook his head, I felt the pain of rejection coursing through me and he noticed this, cupping my face gently in my hands he kissed the corner of my mouth.
"Ritsuka, listen to me. Do not be foolish enough to think that I do not want you, do not fool yourself into thinking I wont take you because I dont want to." He said firmly. I looked at him with innocent eyes.
"Then why Soubi?" I asked. He sighed and gently stroked my cheek.
"Because your still young Ritsuka. Your only fifteen, right now its no surprise you think your ready, your filled with raging teenage hormones - I know, I've been there already remember? Just, trust me, you'll regret it if you act purely on lust. Trust me on this one." He smiled at me but I didnt feel very convinced.
"But Soubi -" He cut me off by placing a hand over my mouth.
"Ah ah ah, no buts. You'll thank me later." He grinned but sighed when he saw the look on my face. "Ritsuka I promise you, when the time is right I will be the one to take your ears, I would never let anyone else touch you, not now not ever. I want your first time to be with me by all means, but it has to be special, it has to be thought about and at the right time for us both, not in the heat of the moment." I sighed and nodded, I knew what he said was true. He smiled at me and kissed me gently before climbing off me. "Dont rush into things Ritsuka, I love you, we have all the time in the world." He tenderly brushed some hair out of my face before smiling softly at me and then leaving the room, jumping off the balcony and dissapearing into the night, leaving me sat on my bed feeling frustrated at the fact I would have to do my essay, and also that I now had a... not so little problem...

I gave a sad smile at the memory, Soubi had been right at about one thing - that I would have regretted it. When I woke the next morning I had felt foolish for my actions and had hoped that Soubi wouldnt think of me as a stupid little kid now. But he had also been wrong about one thing. When he said to me we had all the time in the world, it wasnt true because he died two years later. Of course neither of us were to know, but thats why that memory hurts so much... I love you, we have all the time in the world... those words echo inside my head like a taunt, like faith mocking me for what it cruely stole. But even though he died only two years later, he did take my ears. I was sixteen when it happened, and we had been talking about it for a month before hand, I had told him I was ready when I was fifteen of course but during the month before it happened we talked about where it would be - his place, why I wanted to do this - Because I loved him, and how soon I was prepared for this to happen - pretty damn soon.
I sighed and looked around the park once more before settling back to indulge in the most painful, yet most special memory I have of him.

His room was lit with candles and incense burnt in a dish on a small table in the centre of the room. We had gone out for a meal together and came back to his place very much aware of what we planned to do next. My heart was beating madly with nerves though I wasnt scared, I had wanted this for what felt like forever, we couldnt kiss anymore without me getting desperate for more. I wasnt a child anymore, I wanted to feel him, to be part of him for real. When I had found out tonight was going to be the night I had been so excited and as I looked round his room, glowing orange from the candle light I smiled to myself. He truly had outdone himself. Soubi came up behind me and slipped his arms around me, resting his chin on my shoulder.
"Are you sure you want this Ritsuka?" He asked.
"100 percent positive." I replied, not a single ounce of doubt in my voice. Soubi gently kissed the side of my neck, just below my human ears before gently turning me round to face him, his lips sealing mine as our eyes closed. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he lifted me, walking slowly over to the bed before laying me down, he lay above me and we continued to kiss as his fingers worked slowly to unbotton my shirt. The kiss was soft and slow and sweet, and his tongue slipped into my mouth to lazily dance with mine. I tangled my fingers in his hair and raised my back so that he could slip my shirt off of me and drop it to the floor. Once he had he allowed me to remove his own shirt, and then run my hands hungrily over his naked torso. He gripped my waist with warm hands as I touched all of him, he was soft and warm and my heart surged with love for him. I knew there was no way I was going to back out of this, I had never felt more ready in my life. He began grinding his hips against mine, slow at first, but then faster and more needy as the pleasure began to surge through our veins. The kiss became more heated, our tongues clashing as I tugged on his hair, gasping into his mouth. He bit down on my bottom lip softly and I was surprised to find that it turned me on quite a lot, and what with our hips rocking against eachother I began feeling the blood rush to my penis, making me start to grow hard against him, his own body responding in the same way. I groaned softly into his mouth and he pushed his lips harder against mine, both of us swiftly losing control. He ran his hands down my sides and stopped at my jeans, undoing them quickly and I helped him to pull them off my legs, he sat up and I watched with glazed eyes as he removed his own jeans, staring at my body with lust etched on his face. I didnt feel self concious at all around him, I was too busy admiring his own body and he didnt just stop at the jeans, he removed his underwear while he was at it. He smiled at me and slowly lowered himself onto me again and I kissed him softly as he removed my underwear, dropping off the bed and then wrapping his arms tight around me. The feeling of our bodies pressed together with no clothes in the way sent sparks of electricity through my veins. He was warm and I could feel his manhood pressing against my abdomen, the vein throbbing against my skin. It aroused me to no end and I touched every part of him I could reach. He broke the kiss and raised three of his fingers to my lips, I understood what this meant and I took the fingers into my mouth, layering each of them in my spit and nipping them gently. After a moment Soubi pulled his fingers away and looked me in the eyes as he slowly spread my thighs, nestling himself between my legs. He moved his lips to kiss along my collar bones as he used his middle finger to circle my entrance before gently pushing his finger inside. I instantly tensed from the strange feeling, and Soubi waited for me to relax before pushing his finger deeper into me. He thrust it slowly, watching my expression carefully for any sign of discomfort but I was surprised to find how good it felt. I had expected pain but right now it felt amazing, strange, but amazing. He wriggled his finger and I gasped, pushing down against it, this spurred him on and he slowly worked in the second finger. I felt the stretch but still I was fine, he thrust the fingers, scissoring them after a while to stretch me further. The third finger stung a little but I was still enjoying myself immensly, mewling softly and writhing against the soft bedsheets as Soubi watched me carefully, moving his fingers inside me slowly, teasing me and driving me crazy.
It wasnt long until I was begging him for more, desperate to feel him inside me. He chuckled softly and kissed me as he removed his fingers. "Whatever you want Ritsuka." He said tenderly, and I clutched his back as he spat into his palm and layered his erection in his spit, he tilted his head back, the tips of his hair tickling my fingers as he bit his lip from the pleasure he was giving himself. My cock twitched at the sight and when he looked back at me his eyes were shining. He leant down and kissed me hungrily as he positioned the head of his cock at my entrance.
"Ready?" He asked softly, his voice husky but filled with love.
"Yes. Do it." I whispered back, he went back to kissing me as he slowly pushed in, he didnt get far before I felt the pain. It was a horrible, tearing burning pain and I gasped in surprise, Soubi pulled away from the kiss and cupped my face with one hand as he slowed down even more, barely moving as he pushed into me. I clenched my teeth and screwed my eyes shut, growling in the bottom of my throat as I was stretched.
"Shh, relax..." Soubi whispered, I tried my best to but it was difficult. "Do you want me to stop?" He asked, his voice tender and laced with guilt.
"N - no. No, carry on." I said, trying to keep my voice steady.
"Ritsuka if you need me to -"
"I said carry on. Thats an order." I said softly but firmly, I opened my eyes to meet Soubis gaze, he was looking worried but when he saw the look in my eyes he smiled a little and kissed me gently.
"Okay, just relax. I'll go slow." He whispered, I nodded and he moved once more, slowly pushing into me, the pain returned but I took deep breaths to relax my muscles which were tensing, trying to stop this intruder. Soubi saw that I was still uncomfortable and reached a hand between us, wrapping his fingers around my erection and slowly beginning to rub his hand up and down the shaft. The pleasure it caused numbed a lot of the pain until I barely noticed it and he was almost completely in. I gasped and mewed, whimpering unintelligable words of pleasure and I was surprised when he suddenly slid in the rest of the way with ease. I opened my eyes to see him smiling down at me, I smiled back and he kissed me as he waited for me to adjust, my muscles tensing and relaxing as I got used to the strange feeling of having him in me. It was a lot different to his fingers, not just because of the size but it was also warmer, more alive, I could feel the pulse in his vein and it made me feel as if I were a part of him. Without thinking about it I pushed my ass down, trying to get him to go deeper inside me. He took the hint and broke the kiss, resting his head on my shoulder as he pulled out of me and then slowly pushed back in, repeating the action again but going a little deeper. I groaned and felt my cock twitch from the pleasure it caused, the pain I could feel was swiflty subsiding and it left a pleasure behind so intense I was in ecstasy. Soubis thrusts were slow to begin with but as I got more and more used to him he picked up speed, stroking into me at a different angle each time. I clutched his back and rocked my hips with each of his thrusts, pushing him deeper into me, panting against him as he softly licked my neck.
"Oh Soubi... oh god Soubi... unn... it feels so good..." I moaned, I got a breathy moan in response, a lot deeper than his usual voice and it aroused me even further. He picked up more speed, thrusting into me faster and faster, panting down my ear. I moaned and mewled, gasped and groaned, running my hands down to cup his ass and push him faster and deeper into me, wanting more, needing to feel him.
"Soubi unn... Soubi..." His name rolled off my tongue without me thinking about it, he kissed my neck and slammed into me, hitting something that caused me to cry out and arch my back, I heard about the prostate, that special spot that drove people crazy but I had never imagined it would feel so good.
"Soubi!! Oh god, yess Soubi - Unn... harder Soubi..." I begged, he moaned down my ear at my words and began pounding into me, pushing his hips forward to get deeper with each thrust. I was getting close, I could feel the familiar tightening in my abdomen and I began clenching my muscles in an attempt to bring Soubi closer to the edge.
"Oh god - Ritsuka... I'm so close..." He groaned, his rhythm becoming erratic as he lost more and more control, pushing himself into me with out of time, desperate thrusts, managing to hit my prostate every time. I felt my orgasm building and I arched my back, crying out as I came hard all over his and my stomachs. My muscles clenched tightly around him and that was his undoing, he moaned my name loudly and I felt him empty inside me. We held eachother tightly as he rocked his hips against my ass, drawing out our orgasms and causing my body to tremble from the intensity of it all. I felt amazing, my body was shaking and pulsing from the pleasure I had felt, Soubis doing the same, we were hot and sweaty and clinging to eachother tightly, and I think we both had goofy smiles on our faces. After a while spent calming down, Soubi slowly pulled out of me and I instanty felt a sense of loss making me shudder. Soubi rolled to the side of me and pulled me into a tight hug. Kissing me tenderly, both of us exhausted.
"Soubi, that was amazing..." I whispered and he laughed breathlessly.
"I'm glad you enjoyed it. I love you Ritsuka."
"I love you, Soubi."

I smiled softly to myself as a silent tear ran down my cheek. I hadnt let myself think of that night since his death. And though it hurt me to think of it, it also seemed to heal a lot of the pain I was thinking. I realised now I needed to allow myself to remember him, I shouldnt try to forget those precious memories. Soubi was far too important for that. I wiped away the tear and slowly got to my feet, my legs felt weak. I had been sat here a while I realised and that the sun was setting. I began walking out of the park when a little blue butterfly flew over and sat upon my shoulder. I stopped as this was un natural behaviour, I lifted my hand and the butterfly stepped onto my finger, I raised it to my face and the notion that it was perhaps Soubi went through my head, but I dismissed it instantly. If it was Soubi I would know it in my heart, and I knew it wasnt - But part of me knew it was important some how...
"Butterflies only live for twenty four hours." I whispered and the butterfly twitched its wings, its antennea wiggling. I looked around to make sure no one was here before whispering to the small creature. "When you get to heaven, tell Soubi - Ritsuka says I love you." The butterflys attenea twitched and waved a little before it lifted itself off my finger, flying close to my face and hovering there a moment before flying away into the distance. I smiled softly to myself and wondered if I was going mad, but I decided it didnt matter even if I was because I was feeling better now than ever before in the last ten years.