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I had called Lee, telling him I needed him. I didn't know what I had been thinking, maybe just that we would stop fighting if I gave into him. It was a bad idea. He'd get the fuck he wanted and leave. He would leave with my virginity and not think about staying with me. I knew it, I wasn't stupid.

I stripped down to nothing, shaved my private area and waxed everywhere else but my arms. I sat on the couch with a soda and waited for Lee. I started to cry.

What if I was right? What if he took what he wanted and left me? I loved Lee, of course but it had been less than a month by three days. I wasn't ready. He seemed to be or maybe he just wanted sex. I wasn't sure.

I sat, cross legged on my couch waiting impatiently for Lee Curtis to finally get there. I cried off and on for the half hour it took for him to finally get to me.

There was a soft knock on the door. "Come in!" I called, too scared to stand up.

Lee practically threw open the door and his eyes widened when he saw me. I will admit, I looked pretty ready the way I was sitting and waiting.

I took a sip of my drink and set it down before walking over to my shirtless boyfriend. He looked good but I wasn't ready.

"You don't have to-"

I cut him off. "Don't treat me like a kid, Lee." I smiled softly and intertwined our fingers together.

I kissed him sweetly and pulled him to the bedroom. He laid down first and I found the condom in my bedside drawer, I had been saving it for out two month when Iwould give him what he wanted but Lee was pressuring me too much. Hopefully he didn't know that.

I stripped Lee down to nothing, he looked good but I wasn't feeling in the mood to do anything overly sexy for him. I rolled the condom down and smiled weakly. He grinned huge and kissed me harder, pushing me onto my back.

I tried to act normal and give him everything he wanted. I tried to make our first time something special but I don't know if I did. I acted like I enjoyed everything he did to me and, Lee believed every little moan.

He kissed me harder and opened my mouth with his tongue. Our cocks touched and I fake moaned. It felt alright but I wasn't ready or horny enough to understand that I should be withering from pleasure.

He straddled me and rubbed down my chest, kissing me and making our tongues dance together. I like the making out, of course. We had done it many times and I knew what I was doing but I didn't really enjoy feeling his dick against mine. I would have probably loved it if I had been just a bit more turned on.

Lee pulled back and smiled wide. I gave him my best smile and he seemed to buy it.

"I need to get you ready, baby - okay?" Lee smiled reassuringly and reached for my lubricant.

I nodded, knowing what he had to do; finger me. I wasn't ready for him to be in my yet, even if I had been craving it myself just a few days before. I wasn't ready. I needed more time to understand that he was going to be with me no matter what and that he wasn't going to get his fuck and leave me in New York with no friends at all and an apartment to remember him by.

I heard him open the bottle and gasp as the liquid covered his fingers. I bit my lip, acting seductive as he pushed on slick finger into my hole. It hurt fucking bad. I'd never had anything in that hold before and I didn't want it then. I hurt and it felt weird. I wanted him to stop and get the fuck off of me but I didn't say that.

Lee kissed my nipple as he worked two fingers in and out of my body. It hurt, I wanted to cry really badly but I kept it together and even moaned a lot.

Lee smiled and kissed me hard. "Do you think you're ready, Johnny?" he asked sweetly and kissed my down my chest, his fingers still in my opening.

I nodded and breathed in deeply. "I think so."

Lee spread his fingers apart wide and pushed down a little deeper. He hit something that felt really good. I may not have wanted it before but after that I felt good.

Lee laid me gently into the pillows and kissed me. "I love you, Johnny."

"I love you too, Lee Curtis," I whispered, not wanting my weariness to show.

Lee spread my legs and propped my hips onto his thighs. "I'll be gentle, baby. I promise."

I nodded, closed my eyes and bit my lip. I wasn't ready, I wanted to tell him to stop and go away. But I couldn't. I loved Lee.

He held my hips firmly and carefully, slowly pushed into my hole. That hurt even worse than his fingers so, I started to cry. He knew it was from pain and the moment he was buried deep inside of me he stopped and kissed me until I stopped crying. Lee asked several times if he should stop and every time I answered the same, 'no, Lee you're already in me. Go on, I'll be fine, baby.'

He listened and made love to me. Nice and slow he worked his cock in and out of my body. When he would push in a little harder and hit whatever it was down there that made me feel so good, I would moan and pull him into a deep kiss. It did feel good, without a doubt but it hurt more than anything.

Lee moaned loudly and kissed me. "I love you," he whispered breathlessly and I knew he was done.

I moaned softly and came as well.

It didn't take long before Lee pulled out and laid next to me.

Lee pulled off his condom and tossed it into the trashcan next to my bed before pulling me close. I laid my head on his chest and closed me eyes. My butt was sore and it felt like it was on fire. I didn't know what to do or say so, I cried.

I cried really hard. Lee tightened his grip on my and pulled my small blanket up from the end of the bed and wrapped it around me.

I began whispering and praying to my God that he would forgive me. I knew the moment he breached my body that I shouldn't've done what I did. I was about 60% that Lee wouldn't ever leave me but I couldn't ever be sure. Things always go wrong...

Lee kissed my head. "I love you, Johnny," he whispered.

'No you don't!' I yelled in my mind. 'You don't love me at all! All you wanted was sex, you asshole!'


I never said anything back to him, I was way too busy crying my heart out. I hurt and I felt like a slut. I wished I could go back in time and never have met Lee. I didn't want to be in the position I was in.

Seventeen years old with a fifteen year old boyfriend, first time having sex and absolutely hating it. I had learned about STDs my last week in school and I knew was I could possibly be up against. I didn't want anything like that. HIV... AIDs... Chlamydia... None of it sounded fun. What if I got one? What if Lee didn't know he had one? Condoms didn't always protect you completely, especially when anal is the best way to get them.

I cried harder and Lee instantly understood I was regretting everything we had just done. I couldn't help myself. I needed him to know that I hadn't been ready. He knew he wasn't either because he had hurt me. I told him once before that if he researched it some more I would let him in me faster, from the pain I felt, he didn't research jack shit.

Lee held me close as I cried. He kissed my head and told me everything would be okay. He said, one time and one time only, 'I'm not going anywhere...'