Categories > Celebrities > Motley Crue > Merry-Go-Round
Without You
I mean, Tommy and Mick gladly handed the reigns over to Nik, but I refused to go down without a fight.
?Blocked
Without You
Three weeks had gone by when I encountered Nikki at Baker's. The confrontation still burned deep in my mind. So many emotions surfaced that I kept trying to bury.
Y'know, when you're raised in a place like Compton, you learn how to keep yourself in check, which means never letting anyone know they're gettin' the better of you. It's all about staying alive and playing the game properly. So, if you don't want a busted nose, you figure out a way to make sure your shnoz remains on your face and not on the ground. Or if it's a knife wound you're avoiding, then stick the fucker with the blade first. And I guess when you always have your back against the wall, you even learn to subconsciously keep your heart in check, make sure nobody can bust that either.
I was aware quite a few people had me pegged as an egomaniac. But it wasn't my fault everyone referred to me as the hottest guy on the Sunset Strip. I didn't title myself with such a moniker; those who admired me did. Ever since I started showing my face on the Strip, everyone wanted a piece of me.
When I think back to when I first met Nik, he didn't impress me any. I summed him up as another wanna-be from Buttfuck, USA who had no biz being in Hollywood. Shoo. Go away. Pack your bags and stay on the farm. And when he made a play for my ass after our first gig at the Starwood, he pissed me off. But the more we wrestled in the dressing room, I realized he had a lot going on, I'm talking a helluva lot. It wasn't my ass he was after. I sensed he wanted more. And it piqued my interest, so I decided to play along. But he took me by surprise with the self-control he managed when we started fucking. I never had anyone service me that way in my life. There was no desire to put the fucker in his place. I wanted him to prove to me exactly what he could do. And he did.
It bothered me, though, his level of control. He controlled everything in his environment: situations, reactions, music, people and sex. And I did not want to be another something or someone under his thumb. Not a chance. I mean, Tommy and Mick gladly handed the reigns over to Nik, but I refused to go down without a fight. There wasn't a chance in hell I was lettin' the fucker mold me into whatever he wanted for the perfect world he set up for himself.
And our relationship happened to be a big part of what he was trying to create for Nikki-Land. Uh uh, wasn't gonna be his bitch. But when looking into that man's eyes, I couldn't help but get sucked in - his deep gems seemed to change color pending his moods, almost a murky green and then they they'd flash up onyx when he'd spiral inside his head, sitting in his fave dark spot. Fuck, it was a constant struggle to keep my footing when he'd give me his "hard" stare. Each time he would gaze at me....
Crushed. I'd feel as if I was being crushed under his spell.
Dammit, so fucking handsome, got the poker straight hair going on, strong biceps and thighs - just reeks of testosterone. The first time I truly looked him over, I could smell the strength and power emanating from him.
Our first year wasn't that bad since we shared The Motley House with Tommy. But after we got evicted and Nik announced he found us a new place...man, I lost it. I was so pissed he didn't think to consult with me over such an important step. The fucker took it for granted I'd be all for shacking up.
Cripe, I wasn't ready for some big commitment. I mean, the writing was all over the wall. The guy would shape me into his lap dog. You get my drift: like those lame poodles you send to the groomers, tie ribbons on and expect to sit obediently on your thighs, ready to jump on command. Fuck that shit.
I should have walked a helluva lot sooner, before I got in over my head. After all, it was one fight after another. He'd tug on the rope and so would I. But you know something, I never once told that fucker what to do. And I sure didn't expect him to listen to me. I just wanted my space, nothing more.
But, referring back to what I said earlier, I let myself get hauled into Nikki-Land. Maybe it was the mind-blowing sex? Or the fact this guy always professed to love me? Could have been the stare, when he'd look into me, gazing past my blonde hair, brown eyes, and nice body. Hey, don't wrinkle your nose. I got a nice fucking body.
Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, the stare. I finally met someone who wanted me, not that I was searching for such a person. Fuck, if a chick or guy was looking for a piece, I'd give them exactly what they sought and not an inch more. But, Nik wanted more than sex....
Nikki-Land. I shook my head, stubbing out the cigarette while I continued to gaze at the traffic cruising down the one-way street. Hurt. I didn't wanna hurt. But after three weeks of getting into fights, driving Blackie's car like a maniac and drinking myself silly, it was all crashing down around me. And I was trying so hard to call on all I learned in Compton. Don't let him bust the nose. Don't let him stick the knife. Don't let him break your....Fuck, I refused to go there or even say the word.
Stephen. Ooh, I couldn't believe he fucked that sorry-excuse for a guy. Totally insulted. He chose Stephen Pearcy over me? It boggled my mind. I was still bowled over by the fact Nik was sticking his dick up that nobody. And I was slightly satisfied I dumped his sorry ass before he threw me over for the ugly bitch. Stupid fucker didn't even friggin' wait for my side of the bed to get cold. Just tossed Stephen in my spot. Pathetic slut sleeping on my pillow, had my sheets drawn over his icky body, my boyfriend cuddled up beside his gross face. Ugh.
I never liked Stephen and he never liked me. I mean, whatever I did, he'd copy. Or whatever I had, he wanted. And the stupid fuck set out to steal my boyfriend and the slimy jerk got his way. Grrrr. I'd never ever forgive Nik for what he did. Ever!
I rubbed my brow, still staring at the traffic. Yeah, Nik was my first real relationship. Sure, I dated tons of chicks, even fathered a child when I was seventeen, but nothing prepared me for Nikki Sixx.
Desperate. I just hoped the feelings would fuck off. But reality was closing in. Without Nik... I never expected it to end this way. We fought so many times in the past, told each other to fuck off, threatened to leave one another.... This time he called my bluff.
Now I was living with Blackie so I'd have a place to crash. And what happened to the hard-nosed, icy, cold, demonic dude I heard about? The fucker was forever chasing me around the house like some starved puppy dog. Christ, I love sex, live to cum, but Blackie.... My ass was permanently sore from being fucked morning, noon and night. The man never wanted a break.
And the humping sucked donkey balls.
I was always of the belief you shoot your load and leave. But after sharing a bed with Nik... I wanted to feel the exact same way when I'd ride his cock. And I couldn't reproduce the same effect with anyone. Only Nikki could....
Christ, how did someone who I only knew for just over a year become such a big fixture in my life so quickly?
Hate him. Hate him so much. Hate the fucker!
Fuck it! Fuck it! I want Nik. Miss the slimeball. Hurt. Pain.
Goddammit, I refused to let myself hurt for the jerk. I failed. The streets of Compton would laugh at me now. My nose was busted and I did get knifed.
Three weeks had gone by when I encountered Nikki at Baker's. The confrontation still burned deep in my mind. So many emotions surfaced that I kept trying to bury.
Y'know, when you're raised in a place like Compton, you learn how to keep yourself in check, which means never letting anyone know they're gettin' the better of you. It's all about staying alive and playing the game properly. So, if you don't want a busted nose, you figure out a way to make sure your shnoz remains on your face and not on the ground. Or if it's a knife wound you're avoiding, then stick the fucker with the blade first. And I guess when you always have your back against the wall, you even learn to subconsciously keep your heart in check, make sure nobody can bust that either.
I was aware quite a few people had me pegged as an egomaniac. But it wasn't my fault everyone referred to me as the hottest guy on the Sunset Strip. I didn't title myself with such a moniker; those who admired me did. Ever since I started showing my face on the Strip, everyone wanted a piece of me.
When I think back to when I first met Nik, he didn't impress me any. I summed him up as another wanna-be from Buttfuck, USA who had no biz being in Hollywood. Shoo. Go away. Pack your bags and stay on the farm. And when he made a play for my ass after our first gig at the Starwood, he pissed me off. But the more we wrestled in the dressing room, I realized he had a lot going on, I'm talking a helluva lot. It wasn't my ass he was after. I sensed he wanted more. And it piqued my interest, so I decided to play along. But he took me by surprise with the self-control he managed when we started fucking. I never had anyone service me that way in my life. There was no desire to put the fucker in his place. I wanted him to prove to me exactly what he could do. And he did.
It bothered me, though, his level of control. He controlled everything in his environment: situations, reactions, music, people and sex. And I did not want to be another something or someone under his thumb. Not a chance. I mean, Tommy and Mick gladly handed the reigns over to Nik, but I refused to go down without a fight. There wasn't a chance in hell I was lettin' the fucker mold me into whatever he wanted for the perfect world he set up for himself.
And our relationship happened to be a big part of what he was trying to create for Nikki-Land. Uh uh, wasn't gonna be his bitch. But when looking into that man's eyes, I couldn't help but get sucked in - his deep gems seemed to change color pending his moods, almost a murky green and then they they'd flash up onyx when he'd spiral inside his head, sitting in his fave dark spot. Fuck, it was a constant struggle to keep my footing when he'd give me his "hard" stare. Each time he would gaze at me....
Crushed. I'd feel as if I was being crushed under his spell.
Dammit, so fucking handsome, got the poker straight hair going on, strong biceps and thighs - just reeks of testosterone. The first time I truly looked him over, I could smell the strength and power emanating from him.
Our first year wasn't that bad since we shared The Motley House with Tommy. But after we got evicted and Nik announced he found us a new place...man, I lost it. I was so pissed he didn't think to consult with me over such an important step. The fucker took it for granted I'd be all for shacking up.
Cripe, I wasn't ready for some big commitment. I mean, the writing was all over the wall. The guy would shape me into his lap dog. You get my drift: like those lame poodles you send to the groomers, tie ribbons on and expect to sit obediently on your thighs, ready to jump on command. Fuck that shit.
I should have walked a helluva lot sooner, before I got in over my head. After all, it was one fight after another. He'd tug on the rope and so would I. But you know something, I never once told that fucker what to do. And I sure didn't expect him to listen to me. I just wanted my space, nothing more.
But, referring back to what I said earlier, I let myself get hauled into Nikki-Land. Maybe it was the mind-blowing sex? Or the fact this guy always professed to love me? Could have been the stare, when he'd look into me, gazing past my blonde hair, brown eyes, and nice body. Hey, don't wrinkle your nose. I got a nice fucking body.
Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, the stare. I finally met someone who wanted me, not that I was searching for such a person. Fuck, if a chick or guy was looking for a piece, I'd give them exactly what they sought and not an inch more. But, Nik wanted more than sex....
Nikki-Land. I shook my head, stubbing out the cigarette while I continued to gaze at the traffic cruising down the one-way street. Hurt. I didn't wanna hurt. But after three weeks of getting into fights, driving Blackie's car like a maniac and drinking myself silly, it was all crashing down around me. And I was trying so hard to call on all I learned in Compton. Don't let him bust the nose. Don't let him stick the knife. Don't let him break your....Fuck, I refused to go there or even say the word.
Stephen. Ooh, I couldn't believe he fucked that sorry-excuse for a guy. Totally insulted. He chose Stephen Pearcy over me? It boggled my mind. I was still bowled over by the fact Nik was sticking his dick up that nobody. And I was slightly satisfied I dumped his sorry ass before he threw me over for the ugly bitch. Stupid fucker didn't even friggin' wait for my side of the bed to get cold. Just tossed Stephen in my spot. Pathetic slut sleeping on my pillow, had my sheets drawn over his icky body, my boyfriend cuddled up beside his gross face. Ugh.
I never liked Stephen and he never liked me. I mean, whatever I did, he'd copy. Or whatever I had, he wanted. And the stupid fuck set out to steal my boyfriend and the slimy jerk got his way. Grrrr. I'd never ever forgive Nik for what he did. Ever!
I rubbed my brow, still staring at the traffic. Yeah, Nik was my first real relationship. Sure, I dated tons of chicks, even fathered a child when I was seventeen, but nothing prepared me for Nikki Sixx.
Desperate. I just hoped the feelings would fuck off. But reality was closing in. Without Nik... I never expected it to end this way. We fought so many times in the past, told each other to fuck off, threatened to leave one another.... This time he called my bluff.
Now I was living with Blackie so I'd have a place to crash. And what happened to the hard-nosed, icy, cold, demonic dude I heard about? The fucker was forever chasing me around the house like some starved puppy dog. Christ, I love sex, live to cum, but Blackie.... My ass was permanently sore from being fucked morning, noon and night. The man never wanted a break.
And the humping sucked donkey balls.
I was always of the belief you shoot your load and leave. But after sharing a bed with Nik... I wanted to feel the exact same way when I'd ride his cock. And I couldn't reproduce the same effect with anyone. Only Nikki could....
Christ, how did someone who I only knew for just over a year become such a big fixture in my life so quickly?
Hate him. Hate him so much. Hate the fucker!
Fuck it! Fuck it! I want Nik. Miss the slimeball. Hurt. Pain.
Goddammit, I refused to let myself hurt for the jerk. I failed. The streets of Compton would laugh at me now. My nose was busted and I did get knifed.
Sign up to rate and review this story