FicWad

Christmas sucks. It's not an opinion, but a fact that Slash is absolutely sure of as he makes his way down the streets of LA. Why oh why did he have to have a fight with Perla at Christmas? They always fought be had to admit that this time he had been a true asshole, probably why she had taken off to her parents with the boys. Slash sighed, he could never seem to handle Christmas well, and he always ended up breaking up with people around Christmas. Every single one of his relationships, with the exception of one, seemed to end right before Christmas, leaving him thinking he was going to be spending the holiday alone and miserable. However, most of his Christmas break-ups were made better by the sweet soul who he had shared his bed with for years, the one he had loved, and still loved more than anyone else he had ever been in a relationship with: Izzy.

Slash sighed again. Why did he have to break up with Izzy? Why did he do something as stupid as starting some sex-relationship with Perla? Slash was about to sigh yet again when he bumped into someone, knocking them down. "Shit, sorry..." Slash held out a hand to help the man up and felt his heart jump into his throat when a very familiar hand grasped his own and the man stood, revealing his surprised pale face, dark eyes not really believing if Slash was really there.

"Slashy..."

"Uh...hi Izz..." Slash kicked himself. Yes, he was surprised to see Izzy and his brain was having trouble processing the information, and he was close to certain Izzy was having the same problem, but the first thing out of his mouth shouldn't be "uh..." for god's sake! "Um..." Dammit Slash, say something intelligent! "Uh, are you alright...?"

"Yeah...I think so..." Izzy still looked just as surprised as Slash felt, his large dark eyes even bigger than usual. The situation was more than awkward, how often did you run into your ex, let alone one you still love even though you haven't seen them in years?

"So um...how have you been since well...?" Slash trailed off, wanting to look away from Izzy's big eyes and surprised face, but unable to.

"I think I've been well...I've been okay..."

"Uh, that's good..." Izzy gave a little nod. "So um..."

"Do you want to go for a coffee?" Izzy seemed very uncomfortable.

"If you'd like to, yeah..." Izzy gave a little nod and turned, silently telling Slash to follow. Slash did, falling into step beside Izzy, not able to look at him but wanting to, wanting to look at his ex-lover, study his beautiful face. He could feel the tiniest hint of a tingle in his heart, a happy little feeling of love he hadn't felt in years.

They got their coffees in silence and took a small table in the far corner of the shop, sipping their coffee and avoiding each other's eyes. The silence was getting to Slash, there were a thousand things he wanted to say but he knew he could never express them properly, but he felt like he had to say something or else he was going to go insane. "Izz...?"

"Hm?"

"I...I missed you." He whispered, unable to think of anything better to say. He prayed it wouldn't back-fire and he had to resist breathing a sigh of relief when Izzy's eyes looked into his, soft and sweet.

"I missed you too sweetie. I'm sorry about all those years ago..." Slash shook his head and reached across the table, taking Izzy's hand in his own, squeezing it gently. Izzy always apologized for things that weren't his fault. Slash couldn't remember exactly why he had left those long eight years ago, but he was almost certain it hadn't been Izzy's fault. Their fights rarely were.

"It's okay Izz..." Izzy gave a tiny smile that Slash returned, giving his hand another squeeze. "So, are you going to be here in LA for Christmas?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "Where's Perla? At home with the boys?"

"How'd you know about Cash and London...?"

"I still talk to Duff and I read your book, they're adorable children."

"Thanks, and no, Perla took them to her parents, we fought and I think it's pretty much over for good..." Slash let it hang, giving Izzy the chance to tell him off if he wanted to, but he didn't.

"I'm sorry to hear that, and I honestly don't mean to sound sarcastic when I say that. You love her--"

"No, I don't. Izz..." He bit his lip, wanting to take Izzy into his arms, hold him close and whisper his love over and over into his ear, but he couldn't do that. It would be awkward and likely uncomfortable for Izzy. "Izz...Izzy, I was an idiot to leave you for her, I really was. I never loved her, you were always the one, I love you Izz, I always have and I've never stopped. It took losing you to teach me that you're the sweetest, best thing that's ever happened to me."

"Slash..." Izzy's eyes and voice were unreadable. If Slash had to guess, he was shocked, touched, and unsure.

"I'm sorry..." Slash lowered his eyes, hoping to take any discomfort away from Izzy.

"No, it's just...Slash, when you left, I thought you didn't love me anymore." Slash looked up, surprised and spotted tears beginning to well up in Izzy's beautiful dark eyes.

"Izzy..." Slash tugged gently on Izzy's hand, guiding him up and around the table and into his lap. "Izzy, babe..." He rubbed Izzy back as the smaller man began to cry, clinging to him. "Oh babe..." Slash gently rocked him, making soothing noises. It always broke his heart to hear Izzy cry. "Don't cry, please don't cry, it's okay..."

"I'm sorry..." Izzy pulled back a little, trying to calm himself down.

"It's okay babe..." Izzy smiled softly from Slash's use of his old pet name, gently kissing his cheek.

"I love you so much sweetie..." Slash smiled, hugging him close, the warm tingle of love in his heart getting stronger, feeling Izzy so close. He gently stroked his back, calming him further, Izzy resting against him, both of them just enjoying the closeness and love they missed so much. Eventually though, Izzy pulled back, climbing off him and returning to his seat. "Sorry, but I don't think I should be sitting on your lap, not here anyway, you know...?" Slash nodded.

"Yeah, it's fine babe." Izzy smiled, taking Slash's hand again. Slash returned the smile, lifting Izzy's hand to his mouth and pressing a loving kiss to it, making Izzy's smile widen. Slash let their joined hands return to the table as they finished their coffee in a comfortable silence.

"I should probably be on my way now..." Izzy broke the silence a few minutes after they finished their coffee. Slash could tell he didn't want to go.

"Hey, if you're not doing anything for Christmas..."

"Oh, I meant to ask you...do you want to come over to my place?" A small part of Slash couldn't believe Izzy had asked that. Izzy wanted to spend Christmas together. Maybe he wanted them to be together again...

"Yeah, that sounds great." Izzy smiled.

"Do you need the address?"

"2657 La-"

"342 Riverbed Lane."

"You sold the house?" Slash was surprised, most of his stuff was still there and the house they had together had been Izzy's dream home.

"No." Izzy shook his head. "I still have it; I just don't live there anymore."

"Why...?" Slash stopped almost instantly, seeing Izzy's look. "Yeah, stupid question...sorry..."

"Slash, I don't think I could have handled living there. I had to get somewhere else to live or I was going to go insane."

"I'm sorry...Could we maybe spend Christmas there...?" Izzy shook his head and Slash felt his heart drop.

"I'm not saying no for the reason you're thinking sweetie. No one's been in the house in six years that I know of, it's bound to be filthy and have problems." Slash gave a little nod and Izzy stood, going over to his side of the table and gently kissing him. "I'm sorry sweetie..."

"Nah, it's fine. My fault. I shouldn't have left. I'm so sorry for all the shit Izz..." Izzy gently kissed his cheek.

"It's okay." Slash couldn't resist smiling softly.

"You're such a forgiving person babe. So sweet..." Izzy had to have the most beautiful heart in the world, Slash was sure of it.

"You're sweet too you know." Slash kissed him.

"Thanks babe." Izzy smiled, hugging him.

"Always sweetie. And I need to go now...I'll see you Christmas Eve, okay?"

"Okay. I'm really glad to see you Izz, I missed you." Izzy smiled, hugging him tight and kissing him.

"I love you too sweetie." Izzy gave him a quick, deep kiss, dipping his tongue into his mouth, smiling brightly at him before leaving.

***

Christmas Eve rolled around and Slash was an absolute disaster. He had to be at Izzy’s in maybe an hour and he had no idea what to wear. He had already showered, scrubbing himself until his skin was almost raw, making sure he was entirely free of any and all dirt on the off chance that he and Izzy might end up in bed together.

He dug through his closet, looking for an outfit that was nice, but not too fancy; sexy buy not overdone. He sighed and finally found a pair of tight black jeans and a long sleeved black polo. Pulling them both on along with his favorite boots, he looked himself in the mirror.

He was getting old. His hair was starting to show hints of grey and didn’t have all the life and volume of his youth anymore. He still had more hair on his head than the average person, but it might not be that way in a few years. His face was starting to look tired and he had a fucking beer gut! Yes, he was just the picture of attractiveness.

The guitarist sighed yet again and ran a hand through his hair before grabbing his jacket and heading out, arriving at Izzy’s just a short while later. He sat in the car for a few minutes, wondering if he should just go knock or to wait until the time he and Izzy had agreed upon on the phone the other day. He didn’t want to appear over-eager, but he also didn’t want Izzy to find him just sitting in his car and think the wrong thing.

Truthfully, Slash wanted nothing more than to run in, grab Izzy and make love to him like never before, then just go back to their old house and live together happily again. But that wasn’t reality and he turned off the car, climbing out and walking up to the house, knocking on the front door. Izzy opened it quickly.

“Hi.” The smaller guitarist greeted quietly.

“Hey Izz.” Slash smiled. “Sorry I’m a little early…”

“It’s fine, I actually just got done with dinner, come on in.” Izzy stepped aside to let Slash into the house, shutting the door behind him. The second he stepped inside, the curly haired man noticed two things. One, Izzy’s house was very plain. It was nice, but in a hotel room kind of way; pleasant, but not really all that homey. But a wonderful smell was coming from the kitchen and he could almost feel his mouth begin to water.

Izzy noticed Slash and smiled, heading off to the kitchen. Slash followed him, almost drooling just from the smell by the time they reached the kitchen. He’d forgotten how good of a cook Izzy was. On the counter was a small ham, mashed potatoes, gravy, green beans, cranberries and johnnycake, along with two dishes Slash didn’t recognize.

“What are those?” He asked, gesturing towards the mystery dishes. One was a small pan full of what looked like some kind of meat and the other was some sort of cake. Izzy looked over at him from getting plates from a cabinet.

“The meat thing is pressed meat. It’s a Swedish dish, you may or may not like it. And the cake is Five Flavor Pound Cake. They were gifts from my friend Liz’s family. You may or may not like them, but I think they’re great.”

“I’ll trust you that they’re good.” Izzy smiled and set the plates on the counter along with a couple glasses before going to the fridge, taking out a bottle. “What’s that?” Izzy held it up.

“It’s called Sparkling Cider or Juice or something to that effect. Basically, it’s kind of like wine but without the alcohol.” Slash nodded. He had almost forgotten how serious Izzy was about his health. While he still had the occasional beer, Izzy was nearly religious about having absolutely no alcohol of any kind. “You can start making yourself a plate and head into the dining room. I have to find the candles I wanted to use…” Izzy said, kneeling to look through a cabinet. Slash shook his head.

“Nah, your food’s always so good; I’d start eating before my wonderful host and that would be rude.” Izzy looked up at him and smiled at Slash, his eyes unreadable before going back to his search. “What?”

“You promise not to laugh?”

“I’d never laugh.” Izzy looked up at him.

“You’re still so sweet…” Slash smiled and knelt beside Izzy, wrapping his arms around him and kissing his cheek.

“So are you…” He felt Izzy smile and he kissed his cheek again before letting him go, watching him finally find the candles.

“You really can start making your plate now.” Izzy smiled, taking the candles over to the table, putting them into their holders and lighting them.

“Thanks Izz, this all looks really good.” Izzy smiled and joined him at the counter as they made their plates, Izzy quickly pouring their drinks before they made their way to the table, smiling shyly at each other as they sat down to eat.

“This is really good Izz.” Slash said between bites of food. Oh how he had missed Izzy’s cooking. The pale guitarist smiled at him.

“Thanks, I was worried I wasn’t going to finish cooking on time so I started early and then I got worried that it would get cold so I’m glad you showed up a little early.” Slash cast him a smile and Izzy returned it before his dark eyes went to his plate, giving Slash a chance to study his face.

Izzy looked older as well, but unlike himself was still very handsome. His dark eyes would always be beautiful and bottomless. His hair was cut short, but Slash had felt it brush his face earlier and it was till soft. His skin was the biggest change. Over time, his perfect porcelain skin had darkened a little and developed a slight pinkness to it. His face had deep lines, likely from scowling at him and stressing over him over their many years together.

His face looked tired and sad now by default, his youthful beauty worn away with time and stress, and it broke Slash’s heart because he knew a lot of Izzy’s stress had come from him. Izzy was still so beautiful though. He always would be in Slash’s eyes.

“Slash?” Slash looked up and his eyes immediately met Izzy’s. “Are you okay? I’m worried about you; you don’t look very good.”

“I’m okay Izz.” He gave Izzy a soft smile and Izzy’s gentle eyes caused it to widen a little. Izzy always had a calming effect on Slash. His constant, gentle demeanor always made him feel safe and at peace.

“You sure?” Izzy’s eyes showed only concern and love.

“Yeah Izz, I’m fine. Really.” He smiled at Izzy, who gave a little nod.

“Is this uncomfortable for you?” The older man asked after a minute of silence. “Would you prefer if I just ordered pizza and we hung out on the couch?”

“Izz, I’m not going to lie to you. Yeah, I would be a little more comfortable but I don’t want to, because this meal is delicious and you’ve put so much work into it. I’m not just going to say ‘Let’s go get pizza.’ after all this.” Izzy’s eyes were unreadable as he simply gazed at Slash for a moment, but before Izzy looked down at his plate, Slash could have sworn he spotted the tiniest hint of tears.

*

Izzy had fallen asleep midway through the movie they were watching, cuddled up to Slash’s side. Slash was temped to wake him, but he looked like he needed the rest. He also missed having Izzy so close to him, so trusting, sound asleep.

When the movie ended, Slash gently nudged Izzy awake. The smaller man gave an adorable yawn that Slash also missed. He had a cute, quiet little yawn that always reminded Slash of a small child just waking up from a nap.

“So, is your stuff in the car?” Slash was confused before mentally slapping himself. He completely forgot he was staying overnight.

“Shit Izz, I completely forgot I’m staying over. I was just really nervous…” Slash trailed off, biting his lip. Great, now Izzy would think he didn’t want to stay with him and his heart would get broken and—

His thoughts were stopped as a gentle hand cupped his face, Izzy’s thumb stroking over his cheek lovingly.

“It’s okay sweetie, I was nervous too.” Slash looked up into Izzy’s gentle, reassuring eyes and melted, a smile slipping over his face, a similar smile turning up the corners of Izzy’s mouth. “I think I have some things you could use.” Slash smiled and Izzy’s hand began to leave his face but Slash caught it and gently pressed a kiss to Izzy’s wrist. Izzy’s smile grew and he wrapped his arms around Slash’s neck, gently, almost hesitantly, kissing him. Slash returned the kiss, deepening it a little, wrapping his arms around Izzy’s slender waist, pulling the smaller man to sit in his lap.

Izzy moaned softly as Slash’s tongue caressed his and broke the kiss a few seconds later. His eyes were excited, aroused and a little bit scared, but full of love.

“Do you want to sleep in my room tonight?” Slash nodded and gently pressed their lips together for a few seconds before pulling back, smiling.

“I’d love to.” The sunny smile that appeared on Izzy’s face made him look 25 again, except healthy of course. Slash grinned and scooped Izzy up in his arms, carrying him up the stairs, going to the room Izzy pointed to and gently laying Izzy on the bed, lying over him and sealing their lips together.

Izzy’s arms returned to their previous position around Slash’s neck, deepening their kiss, Slash’s hands cupping and stroking Izzy’s face gently. He pulled back after a couple of minutes, smiling at Izzy, who was panting beneath him, his eyes wide but no longer scared.

“I love you.” Slash’s gentle confession of love, whispered into his ear was enough to make Izzy’s eyes fill with tears. “Shhh, shhh, it’s okay Izz, don’t cry…”

“I love you too…” Slash’s lips gently covered his again, his hands coming up and slowly beginning to unbutton his shirt, fingers lovingly brushing over each new inch of exposed skin. Izzy’s hands reached up, grabbing Slash’s shirt and tugging it off, Slash breaking their kiss and stopping his work to help Izzy pull it off.

When Slash’s shirt was off, Izzy’s strong but gentle hands came up to knead Slash’s chest, feeling his skin and the muscles hidden beneath it.

Years ago, both of them knew exactly how the other moved, what it felt like, what it looked like; they knew each other’s bodies as well as or better than they’re own.

Izzy’s shirt was finally removed as well and Slash ran his hands over the creamy pale expanse of skin before him. Izzy’s chest was still soft and smooth, his small nipples pink and perfect. Slash bent over and licked one of the small nubs, taking it between his teeth, nibbling lightly at it.

Izzy moaned, his hands threading themselves into Slash’s wild curls. Slash grinned and continued nibbling at Izzy’s nipple before moving to the other one. One of the few things Slash remembered was that Izzy’s nipples were quite sensitive and he always loved it when Slash nibbled and licked at them. Finally, he stopped and smiled at Izzy, who lay beneath him, panting, his hair fluffed up all over the pillow.

“You are so gorgeous…” Slash murmured into Izzy’s ear, kissing it and nibbling on the lobe. “So fucking beautiful…” Izzy’s eyes were wide, just like always when Slash called him attractive. Giving soft loving touches, gentle caresses, and soft kisses, Slash whispered his love for Izzy over and over in a tender quiet voice. Izzy lay beneath him nearly in tears.

As Slash did this, he snuck a hand down to the front of Izzy’s jeans, opening them and slowly tugging them down. Pulling them off, he sat back a little to admire Izzy’s lean, naked body. Izzy’s cheeks were pink and his eyes were wide, lips parted, trembling ever so slightly as he looked up at Slash, obviously self-conscious.

“You’re perfect. Slash kissed Izzy slowly and gently, but deeply, carefully slipping his tongue into Izzy’s mouth, brushing it over his, twisting around each other. Izzy’s slightly shaking hands moved down, slowly unbuttoning Slash’s jeans, and then pulling the zipper down before starting to push them down Slash’s legs. Slash stopped him, kicking off his boots then removing his jeans, smiling down at Izzy.

“May I…?” Izzy’s hands lingered near Slash’s crotch, his eyes nervous.

“Of course.” Slash smiled and Izzy returned it, his hand reaching out, letting his fingertips brush over Slash’s erection, his other hand gently stroking Slash’s thigh.

The curly-haired guitarist let out a loud moan as Izzy’s hands moved, one lightly closing around his cock, the other cupping his balls, giving the lightest of little squeezes. Izzy’s hands moved slowly, feeling over his genitals, trying to remember the exact ways to touch Slash to make him scream.

Slash was moaning as Izzy’s hands explored his cock and balls, feeling, lightly stroking and occasionally giving little squeezes. Finally, Izzy’s hands stopped their exploring before gently grabbing Slash’s wrist, bringing his hand to his crotch, moaning softly as he pressed his excited cock into Slash’s hand.

Slash smiled and gently kissed Izzy’s cheek, his hand wrapping around Izzy’s cock, gently stroking, smiling at the groan that escaped Izzy’s throat and the feeling of the rhythm guitarist squirming beneath him. It was yet another thing he missed about Izzy.

“Slashy…” Izzy moaned, his legs coming up and wrapping loosely around Slash.

“Yes baby?” Slash smiled, gently giving Izzy’s cock a little squeeze, listening to his moan.

“Make love to me.” Slash froze and looked into Izzy’s eyes, finding only sincere love and trust. “Please…” Slash kissed him softly, unsure.

“Are you sure Izz? If we make love, I don’t think I can go back to Perla…”

“Do you want to go back to her?” Slash stopped. He loved his sons and he loved Perla to some degree, but Izzy was the love of his life and he was miserable without him. He’d almost lost the sweet man for good. He wasn’t about to let him go ever again.

“If we do this, could we, I mean, will you, you know, maybe—“ Izzy stopped him with a finger on his lips.

“We can start fixing up the house tomorrow.” Slash’s eyes filled with tears and he beamed at Izzy before showering him with kisses, gentle caresses and whispered words of love. Izzy lay beneath him, his arms and legs wrapped around Slash, identical tears in his eyes. Finally, he stopped Slash and reached into the nightstand, pulling out a small tube of lube and pressing it into Slash’s hand, giving a little nod.

Slash nodded as well and gave Izzy a final, gentle kiss. He moved down to gently spread Izzy’s legs but the smaller man already had, giving Slash good access. The younger man squeezed a good amount of lube onto his hand and fingers, gently pressing one into Izzy who yelped, clenching around him.

“Are you okay?” Slash’s eyes studied Izzy’s face, clenched in pain. And then it clicked. Izzy hadn’t had anything or anyone in him in eight years. He was nearly back to the tightness of a virgin. Izzy loosened a little around his finger but his face was still somewhat pained. “I’m sorry Izz, I forgot, I was—“ Izzy hushed him, relaxing further, his face and eyes now only showing tiny hints of discomfort.

Slash slowly began moving his finger in and out, stretching Izzy slowly and carefully. When Izzy lay completely relaxed and one finger slid in and out with no problem, he added a second, repeating the process then scissoring his fingers, gently stretching him. After a few minute though, Izzy stopped him.

“Enough, I’m ready.” Slash looked down at Izzy, gently touching his face with his free hand.

“You sure Izz? I really don’t want to hurt you…” Izzy turned his head, gently kissing his wrist.

“Slash, it always hurts a little. No matter how many times we do it, it’s always a little painful. I’m ready.” Slash nodded and gently kissed him before applying a good coating of lube to his cock, lining himself up and looking up at Izzy’s face, finding only love, trust, and gentle reassurance. The pale man raised a hand to Slash’s cheek, his fingertips brushing over his caramel skin. “I’m ready sweetie.”

Slash smiled and pushed in, Izzy grunting, Slash’s cock filling him completely. Slash held still as Izzy panted beneath him, trying to adjust to his cock and relax. Slash pressed a kiss to Izzy’s ear, whispering to him, trying to help him relax, smiling when the smaller man began to loosen around him. After a few moments, Izzy was ready, smiling at Slash who laid a gentle kiss on his lips before carefully beginning to thrust.

Izzy moaned softly every time Slash pushed in. Slash could hear both pain and pleasure in every moan and had to restrain himself from speeding up, groaning at the hot tightness around his cock. He moved a little to gently kiss Izzy, the angle of his thrusts changing, finding Izzy’s sweet spot, making the smaller man scream into his mouth, Slash moaning at Izzy’s internal muscles contracting around his cock.

A grin tugged at Slash’s lips as he began to speed up, keeping the angle the same, making sure his cock hit Izzy’s prostate every time, both of them moaning loudly. Izzy’s hands slipped down to between his legs, wrapping around his cock, beginning to stroke himself in time with Slash’s thrusts. Slash groaned; Izzy’s tight heat around his cock combined with watching the smaller man pleasure himself was pulling him closer and closer to coming. He could tell Izzy was getting close to by the increased volume of his screams and the way he squirmed and writhed beneath him.

“Izzy…oh god…” Slash couldn’t stop his orgasm as it tore through his body, making him tremble and cry out. “Oh Izz…” Izzy came in that moment as well, screaming Slash’s name so loudly his ears were ringing.

Slash let out a moan as he collapsed, panting, on top of Izzy, showering him with shaky kisses, their trembling arms going around each other. Izzy clung to him, tears pouring from his eyes and running back down his face into his hair. Slash gently kissed them away, licking them up and gently rolling them so they were on their sides, rubbing Izzy’s back, holding him tight. Izzy smiled before gently sealing their lips together.

“I love you.” Izzy whispered into their kiss and Slash could feel a few tears escape his eyes.

“I love you too Izz.” He whispered, his lips moving to Izzy’s forehead, gently kissing the smooth skin as he pulled the blanket over them, holding Izzy tight to him as they both began drifting off into a relaxed, happy, orgasm-induced sleep. “Merry Christmas baby…” He whispered, kissing Izzy’s hair as the smaller man yawned.

“Merry Christmas sweetie…”