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Merry-Go-Round

When ya gaze at someone like Vin at his most vulnerable--slight body shaking, brown gems glassy with tears, and his lower lip trembling, man, that's when you know a fucking heaven exists. No amount of drugs, booze or sex can compare to such a moment. Everything about him changed before my eyes. He was no longer a mouthy, tempting teaser spawned by the Devil. Instead, I drank in slim, delicate limbs that lacked the sinewy sassiness. His scent was so sweet, reminding me of the forest after it rains. Even his platinum locks lacked the sultry aura as I watched the wisps feather his cheekbones, the silken strands shining up with a golden cast.

Ever since I've known Vin, I never thought of him as ethereal, but I did now. So fragile. I loosened my grip since I thought I'd hurt him. Fuck, now I knew what possessed guys to mount the white horse and ride in to save the day. 'Cause the more I looked at him, I realized I wanted to be his everything.

Yeah, this was the very reason why I pursued him relentlessly. I lusted after the sexed-up vamp, but what touched my soul was the fact I finally had something beautiful to call my own. My thoughts spun back to the dressing room at the Starwood, when the need rose up to handle Vin with care. So easy to break. I had him in the palm of my hand and could easily crush him. But I wouldn't.

Christ, I killed Frankie after becoming Nikki Sixx, but I realized the fucker still lived, the kid who'd been kicked around since day one. Only Frankie would care. Only Frankie could love. And now I understood why Frankie rose from the grave. All it took was Vin to unearth feelings I thought to never possess again. Actually, it dawned on me I found "Vince Wharton" and Vin dug up "Frankie Feranna" -- two people we both turned our backs on, even loathed.

Everything became clear--why he wouldn't take the carrot I held out. He knew Nikki Sixx would smash Vincent Wharton, was even capable of slicing apart Vince Neil.

Screw rehearsal. I just wanted to get the hell outta here so I could fuck him. I slid my arm underneath the bend in his legs and he laid his head on my shoulder.

It was "Nikki Sixx" who coldly said, "Say it."

"I love you."

Man, his soft, trembling voice was music to my ears.

So I got off my haunches, stood and began striding to the entrance. Hah, I even felt a little bit like Richard Gere in An Officer and a Gentleman. I never gave T-Bone and Mick a second thought as I made a beeline to the convertible. The only person I was intent on was Vin.

I set him in the car and rounded the vehicle. When I took a seat behind the wheel, he cuddled up to me.

"I love you so much, Nik," Vin whispered in my ear. "Love you so much."

I turned the key and the engine roared to life.

"But don't think for a minute I'm gonna be your bitch boy, fucker," he warned me.

I turned, facing him, not at all taken aback my pretty angel vanished and it was the sexed-up vamp glaring at me. Uh huh. Here we go again. Merry-go-round. And we'd keep inserting quarters 'cause neither of us wanted the ride to stop. After all, we only spun the carousal once. We still had rock stardom to get through. I could only imagine what the future held for us. Some might call our relationship a dysfunctional mess, but hey, with the Crue, we frown on normality. Plus, there wasn't anyone else I wanted to slap, fuck, torment, control and love but my blonde bitch.

So when I shifted the gear into drive and started down the street, I wasn't surprised when Vin unzipped my fly and started sucking my cock like the true whore he was. Such a good slut--he knew when to stop his whining and use his mouth for more important matters.

I patted his platinum locks. "Good boy."

"Fuck you, Nik."

But hey, he kept sucking.

**THE END**