FicWad

Chapter 45- I'm the invisible man who can't stop staring at the mirror

~Patrick~
I knew. How could I not know?

I knew about Pete...And Ryan. But I wish I didn’t. I wish that I was this poor unsuspecting fool.

That knew nothing.

That assumed that everything was okay.

When it really wasn’t.

You’re gonna think I’m crazy for doing this, but I’m not saying anything to Pete. Not a word. Why, you ask?

Because I love him. Because I’m tired of fighting.

I guess that’s just the way it’s gonna be. Pete cheats, and then I cheat. Plain and simple.

I know that he loves me, I really do. Then why does he cheat on me?

Now, I know I don’t have the cleanest record, but it’s been a very long time since I’ve cheated on him. About nine months, to be exact.

I should talk to him. Why should I put up with this? A relationship is supposed to be based on trust and honesty. Right now, I don’t feel like I can trust him and the honesty thing…. I don’t really have to explain that one.

I’m going to do it. I have to talk to him.

I put away my journal, putting it in it’s “secret” hiding place in a box in the closet. I looked over at Pete, who was still asleep, snoring quietly. I sighed. He really did look cute.

Walking over to him, I gently shook his shoulder, causing him to open his eyes. He looked up at me and smiled sleepily.

“Hey, Trick.” I sat on the edge of the bed.

“Hey, Pete.” I swallowed the lump that was beginning to form in my throat. “Could I talk to you about something?”

“Go ahead, babe. Is there something wrong?”

I nodded, taking my hand in his. Tears pricked at my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. “Yes, there is.” I took a deep breath.

“I know, Pete.” He raised his eyebrow.

“You know what?”

“I know about you and Ryan.”

He groaned, rubbing his hand over his face. “How did you find out?”

“Well, I assumed since you left to take care of the babies at two and didn’t come back to bed until three-thirty.”

He reached up to touch my cheek, but I pulled away. “You were awake?”

I nodded. “I heard the baby, but then you got up and I assumed that you would take care of it. But then when you didn’t come back after the baby started crying, I figured that you and Ryan… did it again.”

He put my face in his hands, but this time I didn’t pull away. “I’m so sorry, Trick. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He whispered, tears forming in his own eyes.

“Well, you did.”

He sighed, rubbing his thumb across my cheek. “And I’m really sorry for that. It’s just that, Ryan- He just seduces me, and then I’m just so weak that I give in. And honestly,” He looked up at me. “I still love him. I miss him. And everyday, I regret that I hurt him. That I changed him because of what I did. Patrick, you have no idea how much that hurts me.”

I pulled him into a tight hug, burying his head in my shoulder. His body was racked with sobs, and my shirt was getting soaked with tears. “Shhh… baby, it’s okay.”

I calmed him down enough to talk to him, but tears still spilled down his cheeks. “Pete, why didn’t you tell me all of this sooner?”

He shrugged. “I was hoping that this feeling would pass. That I’d get over it now that I have you. I guess I was wrong.” He continued, rubbing at his red watery eyes. “I love you, but… I love Ryan too. Patrick, I was gonna spend the rest of my life with him. But then, I just screwed it all up.”

I was at a loss for words. Swiping my hand over my face, I tried to think of what to say. Nothing came to mind. What I wanted to do was leave. And that’s what I did. I stood up curtly, and stepped out of the room.

Leaning against the door, I tried to catch my breath. My lungs felt like they were on fire and my heart pounded like a drum. My eyes stung, and I couldn’t stop them from leaking those burning tears.

I heard Pete walk up to the door, knocking softly. “Patrick, are you okay?”

All I could do to respond was gasp for breath. The walls felt like they were closing on me and the air was pressing on my lungs like it was forcing it’s way in.

“Patrick, are you okay?” Pete repeated frantically.


He tried to open the door, but I supported my weight on it, keeping him blocked.

He tried to knob again, pushing on the door with force. Still, I kept strong, and he couldn’t budge me.

“If you don’t let me out, I’ll call the guys over here. Now, come on, let me out.”

Shaking my head as if he could see me, I took off, running down stairs. I heard Pete start running after me, but I just ran faster, my lungs burning more than ever. I got in my car and fumbled with my keys, trying to get it started.

When I finally got it started, I quickly backed out and headed towards… well, towards no where. Just away from Pete. I had to think.

Finally relaxing, I turned up the Prince CD that I had in my stereo. Humming along, I tapped the beat out on my steering wheel.

God, I'm sure I look like shit right now. I didn't brush my hair or anything.

I checked in the rear-view mirror to look at my swollen red eyes when I saw a familiar car behind me. My throat began to ache as that lump that I always seemed to get reappeared.

“Pete.” I whispered.

I didn't know what I was thinking. Hell, I didn't even know where I was going. But what I do know is that I stepped on the accelerator as hard as I could, raising the speed.

65 mph, 72 mph, 88 mph, 94 mph, 102 mph. I grinned as the number kept raising higher and higher, the adrenaline in my blood pumping.

Looking back in the mirror, I saw that Pete was still directly behind me, meaning that he sped up like I did.

“Shit.” I muttered, trying to press harder on the gas.

109 mph, 114 mph, 120 mph. Though the numbers kept racing, Pete always seemed to get closer and closer.

Then I heard something that shouldn't have taken me by surprise. Police sirens.

But for some reason, it didn't make me stop. In fact, I tried to go faster.

Pete called my cell phone repeatedly, trying to get me to answer. After what seemed like the millionth ring, I finally answered it.

“Hello?” I said shortly.

“Patrick, you dumb ass, pull the fucking car over!” He screamed into the phone.


I laughed. I mean, I really laughed. Tears streamed down my cheeks and my face turned red.

“Patrick, why are you laughing?! This is serious! Now, pull the fucking car over before you get hurt!”

Still wiping tears from my eyes, I said one simple answer. “No.”

I looked in the rear view mirror as Pete continued to yell at me to pull the car over. His arms waved frantically and his face was red with rage.

“Pete, there's no way I'm gonna pull this car over. I'm having too much fun.”

He took in a deep breath. “Patrick, please, just pull the car over before you get hurt. I don't want to lose you.” The tone in his voice changed drastically. What used to be filled with rage was replaced with sorrow. His voice was wobbly as he continued.

“I'm so sorry that I cheated on you again. Just forget about Ryan, he doesn't mean anything to me the way you do. Sure, I love Ryan, but my love for you is way more intense.”

He sobbed out loud as he tried to control himself. In the mirror, he was wiping his face.

“Just- please. Please pull over. I love you and if I lose you, there won't be a single reason for me to live anymore.”

The last sentence he said felt like it was ripping my heart in two. Slowly, I let my foot off of the accelerator, placing it on the brake. As soon as the car came to a complete stop, I turned around. Pete was directly behind me, still wiping tears away from his face.

We spent the night in jail, but luckily, Natasha was able to bail us out. And boy, were we happy to see her. Unfortunately, she wasn't happy to see us.

“How could you be so irresponsible?! What were you thinking Patrick?!” She screamed at us, her driving a little too fast. Pete and I sat in the backseat, holding hands.

“And Pete, what the hell were youthinking, chasing after him?! You both could have been killed!”

We stayed silent, though she continued to yell. “I thought you two were the adults, yet here I am, dragging your asses out of jail!”

That made me laugh slightly, and soon, Pete began to laugh as well.

“Why are you two laughing? I don't think it's that funny that I got a call while I was at work from the jail saying that I needed to pick you guys up! And I don't know why you're laughing Patrick, you got your license suspended for a month.”

I shrugged, still laughing a little. “Natasha, calm down, it's not that big of a deal.”

“Not that big of a deal? God, Patrick, you have got to be kidding me.” She sighed, placing her head on the steering wheel as we sat at a red light.

“We're fine. We didn't get hurt, and we got minimal punishment.” Pete commented, placing his arm around me. “And Patrick and I have talked things over about our, uh, situation, and I think we have it worked out.”

She pressed the accelerator when the light changed. “Okay, fine, whatever. I'm glad that there was some good out of this whole ordeal.”

I kissed Pete on the cheek. “Thank you for running after me. You didn't have to.”

“Patrick, I did have to. I'm the one who screwed up.” He pressed his cheek against mine, kissing my hand.

Natasha stared at us in the rear view mirror. “You know, being cute still doesn't get you two off the hook.”

“I know,” Pete chuckled. “but you can't blame us for trying.”

When we got home, I was ready to climb into bed. The beds at the prison weren't very comfortable, so I mostly stared up at the ceiling that night. Pete followed, him also yawning a little.

Snuggling up to him, I closed my eyes, trying to sleep. He grazed my cheek with his lips, blowing his warm breath on me.

“Good night, Patrick.” He breathed into my ear.

My eyes opened to see his face only an inch away from mine. The look in his eyes made me want to cry. They were filled with the love that I didn't deserve.

Yes, Pete cheated on me. But since he did, doesn't that mean that I'm doing something wrong? That I'm the one that's causing him to cheat?

“What's wrong?” Pete whispered, wiping the tears from my face that I didn't realize I had shed.

I shook my head. “Nothing.”

“Patrick, I know you better than that. Please tell me what's wrong.”

I sighed. “I can't help but think that this is my fault.”

He raised his eyebrows. “What? What do you think is your fault?”

I didn't want to tell him. I wanted him to figure it out for himself. I thought he should know. But I told him anyway after I looked into his concern filled eyes.

“I think it's my fault that you cheated on me. I wasn't showing you that I loved you enough, I didn't do enough for you, I made you feel unappreciated, I-”

Pete stopped me by pressing a single finger against my lips. His eyes that were once concerned were now angry.

“Is that really what you think?” He asked.

I stayed silent, shocked by his anger.

“Answer me, damn it! Is that really how you feel?” He demanded.

I nodded once, not meeting his gaze.

He blew out an exasperated breath. “How could you possibly think that this is your fault? Baby, you didn't do anything wrong. This is all my fault. I cheated, I lied to you. Please, for me, don't blame yourself for this.”

“Pete, I just feel like I took you for granted.” I kissed his trembling lips, getting the tears from his face onto mine.

He shook his head. “You have been the best boyfriend I've ever had. I often feel like you're too good for me. I truly feel blessed that you chose me. Me, this cocky son-of-a-bitch that doesn't care about anyone but himself. Out of all the other guys and girls, you chose me. I don't deserve it, but I somehow got lucky.”

I laughed a little. “Are you serious? You think you're the lucky one? Pete, you're the best thing that could've happened to me. I'm the lucky one.”

He laughed too, his breath tickling my face. We were so close that you couldn't even fit a piece of paper between us. “Let's just say that we were both lucky.”

Our lips met clumsily in the dark. His lips were somehow sweeter than I'd ever tasted before.

I pulled away from him, running my tongue over his lips once before I said, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” He whispered, his eyelids closing.

“Good night.” I said, hugging him closer to me.

He yawned, putting his forehead against mine. “Good night.”

Soft snoring soon left his lips and his breathing evened.
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sigh Patrick is too forgiving for his own good. Which is why we love him. ♥

xFallxOutxBoyxFanx: Yeah, Pete's not being a very good boyfriend. I'm not sure if Pete's feelings for Ryan will return, but keep reading and find out. :)

MrSz-Or3o: I do love a good Pyan story (errr... weird name...), but not sure if it'll turn into that or not. I guess you'll have to read to find out. :)

-_-1: Azure, there will be no Ryzure if you keep bugging me about it! >[

alex_-nods-: No way! Dora is wayyy better than Diago. Glad you like the baby names. :)

Okay, peeps, keep reviewing! I thoroughly enjoy it when I hear that I'm doing a good job. And rate as well. :)