Categories > TV > Power Rangers > More Than Friends And Brothers
Something's Gotta Give
Tommy realizes that if he can't face the heat, he'll have to get out of the kitchen. A weekend in the mountains provides the opportunity to deal with the mounting frustration once and for all ...
?Blocked
/Disclaimer: /Not mine, no money made etc.
/Note: /In response to the LJ PRSW 22 challenge. # 14, obsessive. The title is filched from the Jack Nicholson movie, but there's no connection, sorry. Also, it's only half a story, in a way, but this took on rather epic proportions, even by my standards, so I've decided to split it in half (incidentally through that finding a way to cover the next subject on the challenge list. Go me!). Warning: Strong language, mentioning of m/m sexual situations, so I'm upping the rating from mild to a strong R. Feedback, as always, will be greatly appreciated.
Something's Gotta Give
By Germankitty
He couldn't stop thinking about it.
'It' being the situation between him and Jason; something would have to give, and soon.
About fucking time, too!
/ /He grimaced inwardly at the unintentional double entendre as he sloshed towards the shore. He'd hoped a nice, bracing swim in the lake near his uncle's cabin in the mountains while he was waiting for Jason to come back from a supply run would help distract him from his near-obsession with Jason and their love life - or rather, the continued lack of same - but no such luck. All the cool water had done, really, was serve as yet another, completely ineffective cold shower with the dubious benefit of a little exercise. And what he /didn't /need right now was the lassitude following in the wake of physical exertion ... because it inevitably was accompanied by fantasies about long, leisurely hours spent in bed, or lazing on a blanket in the sun.
Preferably with Jase. Shit.
Tommy knew that he and Jason were inexorably moving towards intimacy, was waiting for it, really, but calling what they would likely be doing just 'fucking' didn't seem to be right somehow. He hesitated to say or think of it as 'making love', though, either; those words conjured up images of flowers, scented baths and whatnot - the kind of things Kat/ had preferred - that /also didn't seem to fit him and Jason.
Well ... me with Jase, anyway. /After all, he'd had no problem indulging his former girlfriend/lover's wishes; had even enjoyed creating romantic scenarios as a prelude to some hot loving. Like that time they'd met up on the East Coast while he'd still been racing ... He resolutely turned off that particular train of thought. Kat, or any other /girl for that matter, had no place in this new, exciting ... terrifying relationship with his best friend.
And it was /terrifying, at least to a degree. Tommy had thought long and hard about what becoming lovers with Jason would entail, and while the emotional aspect wasn't going to be a problem - he /did /love Jason, no doubt about /that - it was the physical expression of his feelings that more often than not scared the bejeesus out of him. He already knew that he could get turned on by his best friend (and had had the fantasies to prove it), and so far, sharing kisses and the occasional grope/makeout session had been very pleasant. But anything beyond that ...
The trouble is, I'm having less than half a cue at best what it's going to be like!
/ /Vigorously, he towelled himself dry while his mind continued running in the same well-worn circle. They'd agreed to take things slowly, at least in the beginning, and living a couple hundred miles apart had certainly helped with that - the best they could manage was an occasional weekend, whenever Jason could spare the time to drive up to Reefside. Tommy, of course, had until recently been busy with his team of young Rangers, but they'd lost their Powers in that final confrontation with Mesogog ... and as Anton Mercer was himself again now and the kids out of school and away at college, there no longer was an excuse /not /to progress with whatever their relationship was going to be. For a while, Tommy was content to reconnect with Jason on other levels; adult life /had /managed to inevitably draw them apart to some degree. A visit back to Angel Grove over Christmas break had helped, as had regular contact via phone calls and the internet during the intervals between meetings, until they were as up-to-date on their lives, thoughts and dreams as they had ever been during their school days. Which was all to the good, really; they'd both missed the closeness they used to share, and they had it back now.
Yeah ... now.
Now it was spring break, though, and both Tommy and Jason were getting impatient with the situation they found themselves in.
Frustrated, too.
/ /Oh yeah. Tommy sighed, tossed his towel to one side and lay down on his blanket. It had been a long time since he'd had any kind of intimate contact, after all, and he was definitely beginning to crave more than steamy kisses and the sole companionship of his good right hand. Especially when Jason was staying over at his house, thinking nothing of wandering around half-clothed, sneaking kisses and more whenever he could. To his credit, while Jason usually was the one to initiate things, he never pressured for anything Tommy wasn't ready to give; the new intimacy between them was entirely delightful, true, but things /couldn't /go on like this. They either would have to leave things as they were right now, or take the next step. Going back to what was before was no longer really an option, as far as Tommy was concerned, and he feared that they might lose something irreplaceable were they to try.
No way am I losing Jason as a friend. Before I let that happen, I'll seduce him myself if I have to!
/ /The problem was, he had no idea how to go about it.
*
Tommy shifted on his plaid and groaned as he remembered some ineffectual attempts on his part to research the matter of male/male sexual relations. The scientific texts - what few of them he could get hold of - had been too clinical for his taste; there was nothing in them about the depth of trust and feelings he shared with Jason and which played such a major role in their mutual attraction to each other. Sure, there was the physical aspect as well; after all, if he'd never seen that provocative photograph of his best friend, he'd never have thought about becoming Jason's lover in the first place. However, Tommy seriously doubted that he could ever consider becoming intimate with just /any /guy just because he was good to look at; there /had /to be more. Just as he'd never even considered sleeping with a girl just because she happened to be pretty.
In his moments of soul-searching over the past few months, Tommy had come to the somewhat startling conclusion that he possibly might be comfortable in a relationship with his other friends - namely Zack, Billy, Rocky and Adam - if the situation arose, but it would be more like what he'd learned was called a 'buddy fuck'. Jason was the only one with whom he shared that indefinable /more/. And the text books and articles just didn't cover /that/.
So, he'd turned to other literature.
Literature, my ass. Gay porn is what it was. Books, pictures, the works.
The memory of Hayley's accidental discovery that he had stored a number of explicit gay web addresses on his computer still had the power to make him squirm and blush.
*
"Why the heck are you looking at gay porn sites?!?" the redhead asked without warning. They'd met at his house to work on some bit of morpher technology, and without thinking he'd given her permission to use his personal computer. "I didn't think you'd get kicks out of this crap!"
"I don't," he replied curtly, cursing himself mentally six ways to Sunday and back. Why, why hadn't he remembered to clear his web history?
"Then why have you bookmarked so many of them?"
There was no way he could explain it to her, not without a great deal of preparation anyway, so Tommy said the only thing he could think of, hoping that she couldn't see his blush in the dim lighting of the former Dino Lair. "None of your business, Hayley."
She turned towards him, eyes alight with curiosity. "Oh, really?"
He should've known prevaricating would set her instincts on fire, but for once there was nothing he could do about it.
"I mean it, Hayley. There is a reason, yes, but no, I'm not going to tell you. So leave it be, okay?"
She opened her mouth as if to comment, then thought better of it. Apparently, something in his voice or expression told her he was serious, and she wisely decided to let it rest. Only until she found a better opportunity, probably, but right now he'd take whatever he could. It wasn't that Tommy was ashamed of his feelings for Jason, but as long as their relationship was still sort of in limbo, he would not discuss them with anyone, friend or no friend.
"Riiight," she drawled, clearly intrigued, but thankfully let the matter drop. Instead, she swivelled back towards the computer screen to call up the site she'd wanted originally. Breathing a silent sigh of relief, Tommy threw himself into their research with fresh vigor.
*
However, the porn hadn't helped, either - even less than the scientific texts, really. Sure, Tommy now had a clearer idea of what went where, of possible techniques and positions (along with an embarrassingly large amount of unwanted information about toys and kinks), but what he'd read or seen in pictures and videos had as little to do with him and Jason as the dry facts he'd gathered before.
Again, what was missing was the emotion. If not for that, there was no way he ever would've contemplated a sexual relationship with /any /man.
I was quite happily hetero, thanks very much. And while at one point I possibly may have been a little curious once or twice, in theory anyway, I'd never, ever have thought about acting on that curiosity if Jase hadn't told me he loves me. ME. Unconditionally and completely. Wow.
/ /Which made all the difference in the world.
Difference. There was that word again - the one that was giving Tommy so much trouble. While Katherine had been his only lover until now, he didn't think he would have any problems about getting intimate with another girl ... or at least not be obsessing so much over it. However, Jason was very definitely /male/. Despite his preference for both genders, there was absolutely nothing even remotely feminine about him, and he sure didn't fit any kind of stereotype Tommy had read or heard about.
/Well, he has good taste in clothes and decorating, /Tommy mused with a slight grin as he turned on his blanket to let the afternoon sun dry the front side of his trunks, but that was probably due to Mrs Scott's influence - Jason's mother /had /worked as an interior decorator for a large furniture store a few years ago after all. No, that train of thought was leading nowhere, and Tommy abandoned it unhesitatingly. However, he still was no closer to a solution to his problem.
How do I go about getting Jase to do more than kiss me? And what exactly do I mean by 'do more', anyway?
*
Tommy was still considering ways and means when Jason returned at around five o'clock. He helped carry in the groceries his friend had brought, then waited until he'd changed into more casual clothes. He snuck speculative glances at him whenever he thought Jason wouldn't notice as they then prepared dinner in companionable silence. Tommy decided once more that he liked what he saw - from the stylish haircut to the loose pants and shirt encasing a body he knew was not only fit and healthy, but also very attractive. In fact, he'd always admired Jason's muscular build, sometimes even wishing his own more rangy leanness was as sculpted as his Bro's.
I wonder ... is he as turned on by me as I was by him when I looked at that picture?
/ /Remembering how he'd masturbated over the infamous calendar photo caused Tommy to feel a faint surge of arousal, and he had to turn away from the counter where the two men were dealing with their dinner dishes, lest Jason wondered what he was thinking about.
"Penny for your thoughts," Jason's amused voice broke into his reverie.
"They're hardly worth that much," Tommy demurred, swallowing surreptitiously. He willed his beginning erection to subside; not an easy task when even that rumbling sound sent shivers down his spine.
"I'm sure they're worth much more, Bro," Jason replied warmly. "You know that I value your opinions ... on anything."
"I do," Tommy said, blushing slightly at the implied compliment. "It's just ... ah, nothing."
Jason hung up his dish towel over a chair back. "'Nothing' wouldn't have you so nervous," he observed. "Think I haven't noticed how antsy you've been ever since we got here yesterday? What's up?"
"I, uh ..." This was the opportunity he'd been waiting for, and yet now that it had arrived, Tommy found himself at a loss for words. He couldn't just come out and ask Jason to take him to bed or whatever, now could he? If that was the plan, anyway. Helplessly, he stared into the dark eyes which regarded him intently ... and a little bit worriedly. "Nothing," he repeated, chickening out once more. Fresh nerves managed what his willpower couldn't; he felt himself go limp again.
If I could only decide whether that's a good thing or not!
"If you say so." Jason's reply was casual enough, but Tommy realized that the discussion was only shelved, not abandoned. A part of him welcomed it, /wanted /his obsession to end by bringing everything out into the open, but another was more than a little relieved at the momentary respite. To gain some more time and to gather his wits, Tommy suggested they take their after-dinner drinks out to the porch. Jason agreed readily, so they decided on some of Tommy's Greek brandy, filled their glasses and sat down next to each other on the front step, letting the evening calm wash over them. However, not even the spectacular sunset over the mountains could soothe Tommy's jangled nerves. He actually flinched when Jason's deep voice broke the stillness.
"Having second thoughts?"
"About what?" Tommy asked dumbly, hoping that the gathering darkness hid both his involuntary reaction and his embarrassed blush. As usual, Jason could read him perfectly. Was he really /that /obvious?
"About us," Jason answered, suddenly serious. "Tom, I know you well enough to see when you're uncomfortable or nervous about something. And you are - please don't try to deny it, okay?/ It can't be Ranger business anymore, because that's over; you say your job is going great, so it's not /that either. Nobody we know is sick, in trouble or dying, so that pretty much leaves you and me, and what's between us. Or maybe what isn't/; I don't know." He paused to let his words sink in, then continued more softly. "I'd kinda hoped that we could use this weekend to get closer. /I mean, this is the first time we've been together just by ourselves, with practically no chance of being interrupted by anyone ..." Jason again waited a few heartbeats; when Tommy didn't comment he went on, his voice now hesitant. "These past few months, you didn't seem to have any complaints about kissing me, with me touching you more often and ... um, intimately, but if you're not, I need you to tell me." He laid a hand on Tommy's thigh, garnering a startled glance.
/Aw, man! /Tommy felt the warmth from where Jason's palm was touching him radiate outwards, infusing his whole body with gradually-rising heat. /That feels soo good ... and soo scary! /He swallowed hard.
"Look, I know I kinda sprang my feelings on you last year. At the time, you seemed to be okay with it, but if you feel that you don't feel the same after all and no longer want to go any further, that's okay with me. I'll understand."
Jason smiled a little sadly. He, too, had pondered their relationship, the direction it was taking and how to develop it further, and hoped that by initiating physical contact beyond the occasional friendly hugs he hadn't overstepped some invisible boundary. In fact, fantasies about finally becoming intimate with his best friend had occupied most of his waking thoughts. Hiding a sudden fear that he'd been too aggressive, Jason removed his hand from Tommy's knee and offered what he imagined was both an apology and way out if that was the case. "I ... if I've made you uncomfortable in any way lately, you'll have to say so, Tom. I'm not a mind reader; if you want me to back off, just say the word. No hard feelings, okay? We can just go back to the way we used to be. It'll be enough." Which was perilously close to being an outright lie, but Jason hoped that Tommy would at least agree to remain his friend.
"No!" That was the one thing Tommy /was /sure about. It had taken him long enough to acknowledge that he loved Jason enough to want a physical relationship with him, but now that he had, he wasn't about to lose the closeness they'd achieved just because he suddenly had jitters.
"Going back to just friends won't be enough," he replied firmly. "Not for me, and I don't think for you either." He turned towards Jason and grasped the broad shoulders. "I meant what I said - I love you, and I want you. That hasn't changed."
"Then what's the problem, Tommy?" Jason asked, searching the chocolate-brown eyes only a couple of inches from his own. Tommy /seemed /to be confident enough, but he could still detect a trace of uncertainty. "I thought we could finally act on our feelings, but if you're not ready ... do you want to wait some more? I can do that ... even if I'm about to die of frustration," he admitted with a deprecating grin.
Tommy grinned back wryly. "You wouldn't be the only one," he muttered, releasing his friend. Sighing, Tommy rubbed his neck before he grasped the strong fingers and returned them to their former position. Somehow, they landed much higher up on his thigh, but he didn't mind anymore. Quite the opposite, in fact. "Jase, that /is /the problem - I want more, but I don't know what, or how!"
Jason sighed, relieved. /That /he could deal with. If only Tommy hadn't let go of him - it would've been so nice and easy to just lean forward and ... /Stop it right there, Scott. Talk first, kiss later. /Heeding his own advice, he cleared his throat before asking.
"Well, what do/ you /want to happen?"
Images from the porn he'd watched during his research flashed through Tommy's mind, leaving an equal mix of excitement and discomfort in their wake. They also made him feel first warm, then downright hot in some rather interesting places. He stifled a moan as he imagined Jason moving his hand just a few inches higher, towards his crotch.
"I dunno. More than what we've done so far, but exactly what, I have no idea." He sent a half-defiant, half-challenging glance to Jason. "You're the one with all the experience; you tell me what /you /want!"
Jason had admitted once during the past months that, unlike Tommy, he was no virgin with men; he hadn't gone into detail, but Tommy knew that he'd had more than one partner. /Not like me, who's only ever slept with Kat! /Which helped him not at all to alleviate an uncomfortable feeling of inadequacy.
Jason snorted. "I don't know what you've been imagining, but my 'experience' isn't all that great, either!"
"You have more than I," Tommy said quietly. "With girls and guys."
To his credit, Jason looked a little abashed. "Well, yeah, I guess." He drew a deep breath. "Okay. Just to clarify things - what I've done or not done with girls isn't relevant for us, right?" Tommy nodded mutely; he may have had only one lover, but he felt reasonably knowledgeable about regular heterosexual sex. And he didn't want /to know about the /ir/regular kind. Jason returned the silent gesture, then continued. "Right. So, guys ... for the record, I can still count the number of male partners I've had on one hand. What I've done with /them ... shit, this is either gonna sound totally crude, or way too clinical!" He chuckled softly, dark eyes twinkling with sudden humor. "Any preferences?"
Tommy shrugged and raised an eyebrow. "Whatever floats your boat. Just say it."
"Fat lot of help you are," Jason mock-grumbled. "Hmph." Blunt, then; no sense in beating around the bush with clinical expressions or euphemisms. "I've never fucked a guy, nor let myself be fucked. Everything else ... been there, done that."
"Meaning what?" Tommy blurted out without thinking.
Jason gave him an incredulous look. Did he really have to spell it out? Apparently so. Sheesh. "Blowjobs and jerking off," he said succinctly. "Both mutually and separately."
Tommy felt himself redden at the graphic words, but he refused to shy away; after all, he /had /asked for it. At the same time, he experienced a strange dichotomy - on the one hand, he was glad that there was one thing Jason hadn't shared with anyone else, and on the other ... he felt plain jealous that his friend had done all that with somebody already. /Someone who wasn't me, that is! /Then, the rational, scientist's part of his mind kicked in. At least one of them knew what to do. Which, all things considered, was kind of comforting.
"Why not?" He checked himself. "That is, if you don't mind telling me; if it's none of my business, just say so."
"Nah, it's okay," Jason replied easily enough. "It's like this ... my first time with a guy was while I was still in Geneva; I'd just started to suspect that I might be attracted to both men and women, and I was simply curious whether I could be wrong. I wasn't," he said drily. "Anyway, for an experiment it was enough to jerk off together. Well, each other, the second time. I just wasn't ready for more at the time. Then, at college ... things eventually progressed to blowjobs. I was attracted, I was horny - actually mostly both - but again, it was enough to take care of the itch. After that, nobody."
The little voice in Tommy's mind spoke up again. Interesting. /Then followed it immediately with a smug /GOOD! Impatiently, Tommy shushed the intruder.
"So that's the reason why you didn't, um, go all the way?"
Jason smiled faintly at the cautious expression ... and at his best friend's obvious curiosity. "Some of it, yeah. But the main reason why I held back ... none of my partners mattered enough to give that much trust to." He faced Tommy full-on, suddenly completely serious.
"It's different between us, though. With you, it would /matter. Because /you do."
*
A strong sense of déjà vu washed over Tommy. It was that night last spring all over again; once again, Jason had laid his heart open to him, to do with as he wished. It was enough to bring a huge lump to his throat.
However, this time Tommy knew exactly how to react. Without a moment's hesitation, he reached out and drew Jason against him, hugging him for all he was worth. Burying his face against Jason's neck, he struggled to find his voice.
"Aw, man ..."
Jason just had /to chuckle; it was such a /Tommy thing to say! Nevertheless, he returned the embrace with interest.
"Yeah," he murmured huskily into a conveniently-close ear. The gush of warm breath against his skin stirred up a whole flock of butterflies in Tommy's stomach, but for once it was pleasant rather than alarming. Tommy shuddered and found himself hugged more firmly, their bodies pressing as close as possible given their rather awkward position of sitting side-by-side. Somehow, it didn't matter; what counted was feeling warm, firm flesh under each other's hands, against their chests.
It was the most natural thing in the world then to kiss, and they did. Their lips met, opened and their tongues entwined, meshing together in a mutual expression of comfort, desire and love.
Both were panting slightly when they separated, and Tommy was thrilled when he recognized the renewed glitter in the midnight-dark eyes so close to his own. He knew that his own expression was likely a mirror of Jason's.
"You matter to me, too. More than just about anything or anyone."
Jason smiled and kissed Tommy again, more tenderly this time. "Thanks."
"Mmhmm." Suddenly hungry for more, Tommy leaned back in, capturing the warm mouth with his own. This time, /he /took the initiative, gently forcing his tongue deeper into the moist cavern in a way he'd never dared with Kat for fear of appearing too aggressive or overpowering. However, Jason was more than a match for him; his strength fit perfectly against Tommy's, and while he readily yielded to the oral assault, he could sense Jason's own power held back just below the surface. It was a heady feeling, and all at once Tommy knew what he had to do.
Reluctantly, he ended the passionate kiss and waited a few seconds until they both caught their breaths.
Something gave, all right; until now I just had no idea how good the giving could be!
"Let's do it," he murmured, resting his forehead against Jason's. "Now. Tonight."
Jason inhaled sharply. It was exactly what he'd been thinking himself, what he'd dreamed of and wanted with every fiber, but to hear Tommy offer it, just like that ...
"Are you sure, Bro?"
Decisively, Tommy nodded once. "Yeah. Absolutely."
It was the right answer. Slowly, Jason let go of Tommy and stood up. His eyes never left his friend's face as Tommy followed suit, even though he desperately wanted to see whether Tommy was experiencing the same surge of arousal that he was. If he didn't get out of his chinos soon, they would be visibly tenting. Any doubts about the other's reaction were dispelled, though, when Tommy pressed Jason against the pole holding up the porch roof and kissed him again; even through several layers of pants and underwear, Jason felt a hardness matching his own rub against his hip. He groaned his delight and excitement into Tommy's mouth, then ended their kiss with a teasing lick and nip on Tommy's bottom lip.
"Slow down, Bro, or I won't be good for much for a while," he cautioned. To illustrate his meaning, Jason reached down, put his hand on Tommy's butt to hold him precisely where he wanted him and thrust once. Tommy gasped as their erections met full-on and blushed, but didn't pull back. Jason grinned, pleased, before easing back just a little. Don't rush. Must. Not. Rush! "Besides, I'd rather not cream my pants; the stains are hell to get out, and I /don't /want to have to explain 'em to Mrs Keppel when I get home tomorrow," he quipped with a wink.
Tommy snickered with what little breath he had left. Jason's elderly landlady/neighbor was nice, but incredibly nosy, and the eyes behind her sequined bifocals missed very little. Besides, his own jeans had grown uncomfortably tight, and he couldn't wait to chuck them.
"That'll teach you to bring an extra pair next time," he smirked, grateful for the humor as it provided a much-needed respite. "Dark ones, too, so any stains won't show."
Jason sent him a smoldering look as he bent briefly to pick up their brandy glasses, barely refraining from wiggling his posterior in a not very subtle invitation. "Actually, I'd prefer not to stain my pants at all. Sheets are much easier to wash," he murmured suggestively. He held out one hand to Tommy - his Bro, his best friend, his lover-to-be.
"Shall we?"
Confident in his decision now, knowing that he'd reached the end of his obsession with what might be - because in a very short time, it would finally happen - Tommy nodded and took the outstretched hand.
"Yes."
Together, they went inside, letting the cabin's door fall closed behind them.
/Note: /In response to the LJ PRSW 22 challenge. # 14, obsessive. The title is filched from the Jack Nicholson movie, but there's no connection, sorry. Also, it's only half a story, in a way, but this took on rather epic proportions, even by my standards, so I've decided to split it in half (incidentally through that finding a way to cover the next subject on the challenge list. Go me!). Warning: Strong language, mentioning of m/m sexual situations, so I'm upping the rating from mild to a strong R. Feedback, as always, will be greatly appreciated.
Something's Gotta Give
By Germankitty
He couldn't stop thinking about it.
'It' being the situation between him and Jason; something would have to give, and soon.
About fucking time, too!
/ /He grimaced inwardly at the unintentional double entendre as he sloshed towards the shore. He'd hoped a nice, bracing swim in the lake near his uncle's cabin in the mountains while he was waiting for Jason to come back from a supply run would help distract him from his near-obsession with Jason and their love life - or rather, the continued lack of same - but no such luck. All the cool water had done, really, was serve as yet another, completely ineffective cold shower with the dubious benefit of a little exercise. And what he /didn't /need right now was the lassitude following in the wake of physical exertion ... because it inevitably was accompanied by fantasies about long, leisurely hours spent in bed, or lazing on a blanket in the sun.
Preferably with Jase. Shit.
Tommy knew that he and Jason were inexorably moving towards intimacy, was waiting for it, really, but calling what they would likely be doing just 'fucking' didn't seem to be right somehow. He hesitated to say or think of it as 'making love', though, either; those words conjured up images of flowers, scented baths and whatnot - the kind of things Kat/ had preferred - that /also didn't seem to fit him and Jason.
Well ... me with Jase, anyway. /After all, he'd had no problem indulging his former girlfriend/lover's wishes; had even enjoyed creating romantic scenarios as a prelude to some hot loving. Like that time they'd met up on the East Coast while he'd still been racing ... He resolutely turned off that particular train of thought. Kat, or any other /girl for that matter, had no place in this new, exciting ... terrifying relationship with his best friend.
And it was /terrifying, at least to a degree. Tommy had thought long and hard about what becoming lovers with Jason would entail, and while the emotional aspect wasn't going to be a problem - he /did /love Jason, no doubt about /that - it was the physical expression of his feelings that more often than not scared the bejeesus out of him. He already knew that he could get turned on by his best friend (and had had the fantasies to prove it), and so far, sharing kisses and the occasional grope/makeout session had been very pleasant. But anything beyond that ...
The trouble is, I'm having less than half a cue at best what it's going to be like!
/ /Vigorously, he towelled himself dry while his mind continued running in the same well-worn circle. They'd agreed to take things slowly, at least in the beginning, and living a couple hundred miles apart had certainly helped with that - the best they could manage was an occasional weekend, whenever Jason could spare the time to drive up to Reefside. Tommy, of course, had until recently been busy with his team of young Rangers, but they'd lost their Powers in that final confrontation with Mesogog ... and as Anton Mercer was himself again now and the kids out of school and away at college, there no longer was an excuse /not /to progress with whatever their relationship was going to be. For a while, Tommy was content to reconnect with Jason on other levels; adult life /had /managed to inevitably draw them apart to some degree. A visit back to Angel Grove over Christmas break had helped, as had regular contact via phone calls and the internet during the intervals between meetings, until they were as up-to-date on their lives, thoughts and dreams as they had ever been during their school days. Which was all to the good, really; they'd both missed the closeness they used to share, and they had it back now.
Yeah ... now.
Now it was spring break, though, and both Tommy and Jason were getting impatient with the situation they found themselves in.
Frustrated, too.
/ /Oh yeah. Tommy sighed, tossed his towel to one side and lay down on his blanket. It had been a long time since he'd had any kind of intimate contact, after all, and he was definitely beginning to crave more than steamy kisses and the sole companionship of his good right hand. Especially when Jason was staying over at his house, thinking nothing of wandering around half-clothed, sneaking kisses and more whenever he could. To his credit, while Jason usually was the one to initiate things, he never pressured for anything Tommy wasn't ready to give; the new intimacy between them was entirely delightful, true, but things /couldn't /go on like this. They either would have to leave things as they were right now, or take the next step. Going back to what was before was no longer really an option, as far as Tommy was concerned, and he feared that they might lose something irreplaceable were they to try.
No way am I losing Jason as a friend. Before I let that happen, I'll seduce him myself if I have to!
/ /The problem was, he had no idea how to go about it.
*
Tommy shifted on his plaid and groaned as he remembered some ineffectual attempts on his part to research the matter of male/male sexual relations. The scientific texts - what few of them he could get hold of - had been too clinical for his taste; there was nothing in them about the depth of trust and feelings he shared with Jason and which played such a major role in their mutual attraction to each other. Sure, there was the physical aspect as well; after all, if he'd never seen that provocative photograph of his best friend, he'd never have thought about becoming Jason's lover in the first place. However, Tommy seriously doubted that he could ever consider becoming intimate with just /any /guy just because he was good to look at; there /had /to be more. Just as he'd never even considered sleeping with a girl just because she happened to be pretty.
In his moments of soul-searching over the past few months, Tommy had come to the somewhat startling conclusion that he possibly might be comfortable in a relationship with his other friends - namely Zack, Billy, Rocky and Adam - if the situation arose, but it would be more like what he'd learned was called a 'buddy fuck'. Jason was the only one with whom he shared that indefinable /more/. And the text books and articles just didn't cover /that/.
So, he'd turned to other literature.
Literature, my ass. Gay porn is what it was. Books, pictures, the works.
The memory of Hayley's accidental discovery that he had stored a number of explicit gay web addresses on his computer still had the power to make him squirm and blush.
*
"Why the heck are you looking at gay porn sites?!?" the redhead asked without warning. They'd met at his house to work on some bit of morpher technology, and without thinking he'd given her permission to use his personal computer. "I didn't think you'd get kicks out of this crap!"
"I don't," he replied curtly, cursing himself mentally six ways to Sunday and back. Why, why hadn't he remembered to clear his web history?
"Then why have you bookmarked so many of them?"
There was no way he could explain it to her, not without a great deal of preparation anyway, so Tommy said the only thing he could think of, hoping that she couldn't see his blush in the dim lighting of the former Dino Lair. "None of your business, Hayley."
She turned towards him, eyes alight with curiosity. "Oh, really?"
He should've known prevaricating would set her instincts on fire, but for once there was nothing he could do about it.
"I mean it, Hayley. There is a reason, yes, but no, I'm not going to tell you. So leave it be, okay?"
She opened her mouth as if to comment, then thought better of it. Apparently, something in his voice or expression told her he was serious, and she wisely decided to let it rest. Only until she found a better opportunity, probably, but right now he'd take whatever he could. It wasn't that Tommy was ashamed of his feelings for Jason, but as long as their relationship was still sort of in limbo, he would not discuss them with anyone, friend or no friend.
"Riiight," she drawled, clearly intrigued, but thankfully let the matter drop. Instead, she swivelled back towards the computer screen to call up the site she'd wanted originally. Breathing a silent sigh of relief, Tommy threw himself into their research with fresh vigor.
*
However, the porn hadn't helped, either - even less than the scientific texts, really. Sure, Tommy now had a clearer idea of what went where, of possible techniques and positions (along with an embarrassingly large amount of unwanted information about toys and kinks), but what he'd read or seen in pictures and videos had as little to do with him and Jason as the dry facts he'd gathered before.
Again, what was missing was the emotion. If not for that, there was no way he ever would've contemplated a sexual relationship with /any /man.
I was quite happily hetero, thanks very much. And while at one point I possibly may have been a little curious once or twice, in theory anyway, I'd never, ever have thought about acting on that curiosity if Jase hadn't told me he loves me. ME. Unconditionally and completely. Wow.
/ /Which made all the difference in the world.
Difference. There was that word again - the one that was giving Tommy so much trouble. While Katherine had been his only lover until now, he didn't think he would have any problems about getting intimate with another girl ... or at least not be obsessing so much over it. However, Jason was very definitely /male/. Despite his preference for both genders, there was absolutely nothing even remotely feminine about him, and he sure didn't fit any kind of stereotype Tommy had read or heard about.
/Well, he has good taste in clothes and decorating, /Tommy mused with a slight grin as he turned on his blanket to let the afternoon sun dry the front side of his trunks, but that was probably due to Mrs Scott's influence - Jason's mother /had /worked as an interior decorator for a large furniture store a few years ago after all. No, that train of thought was leading nowhere, and Tommy abandoned it unhesitatingly. However, he still was no closer to a solution to his problem.
How do I go about getting Jase to do more than kiss me? And what exactly do I mean by 'do more', anyway?
*
Tommy was still considering ways and means when Jason returned at around five o'clock. He helped carry in the groceries his friend had brought, then waited until he'd changed into more casual clothes. He snuck speculative glances at him whenever he thought Jason wouldn't notice as they then prepared dinner in companionable silence. Tommy decided once more that he liked what he saw - from the stylish haircut to the loose pants and shirt encasing a body he knew was not only fit and healthy, but also very attractive. In fact, he'd always admired Jason's muscular build, sometimes even wishing his own more rangy leanness was as sculpted as his Bro's.
I wonder ... is he as turned on by me as I was by him when I looked at that picture?
/ /Remembering how he'd masturbated over the infamous calendar photo caused Tommy to feel a faint surge of arousal, and he had to turn away from the counter where the two men were dealing with their dinner dishes, lest Jason wondered what he was thinking about.
"Penny for your thoughts," Jason's amused voice broke into his reverie.
"They're hardly worth that much," Tommy demurred, swallowing surreptitiously. He willed his beginning erection to subside; not an easy task when even that rumbling sound sent shivers down his spine.
"I'm sure they're worth much more, Bro," Jason replied warmly. "You know that I value your opinions ... on anything."
"I do," Tommy said, blushing slightly at the implied compliment. "It's just ... ah, nothing."
Jason hung up his dish towel over a chair back. "'Nothing' wouldn't have you so nervous," he observed. "Think I haven't noticed how antsy you've been ever since we got here yesterday? What's up?"
"I, uh ..." This was the opportunity he'd been waiting for, and yet now that it had arrived, Tommy found himself at a loss for words. He couldn't just come out and ask Jason to take him to bed or whatever, now could he? If that was the plan, anyway. Helplessly, he stared into the dark eyes which regarded him intently ... and a little bit worriedly. "Nothing," he repeated, chickening out once more. Fresh nerves managed what his willpower couldn't; he felt himself go limp again.
If I could only decide whether that's a good thing or not!
"If you say so." Jason's reply was casual enough, but Tommy realized that the discussion was only shelved, not abandoned. A part of him welcomed it, /wanted /his obsession to end by bringing everything out into the open, but another was more than a little relieved at the momentary respite. To gain some more time and to gather his wits, Tommy suggested they take their after-dinner drinks out to the porch. Jason agreed readily, so they decided on some of Tommy's Greek brandy, filled their glasses and sat down next to each other on the front step, letting the evening calm wash over them. However, not even the spectacular sunset over the mountains could soothe Tommy's jangled nerves. He actually flinched when Jason's deep voice broke the stillness.
"Having second thoughts?"
"About what?" Tommy asked dumbly, hoping that the gathering darkness hid both his involuntary reaction and his embarrassed blush. As usual, Jason could read him perfectly. Was he really /that /obvious?
"About us," Jason answered, suddenly serious. "Tom, I know you well enough to see when you're uncomfortable or nervous about something. And you are - please don't try to deny it, okay?/ It can't be Ranger business anymore, because that's over; you say your job is going great, so it's not /that either. Nobody we know is sick, in trouble or dying, so that pretty much leaves you and me, and what's between us. Or maybe what isn't/; I don't know." He paused to let his words sink in, then continued more softly. "I'd kinda hoped that we could use this weekend to get closer. /I mean, this is the first time we've been together just by ourselves, with practically no chance of being interrupted by anyone ..." Jason again waited a few heartbeats; when Tommy didn't comment he went on, his voice now hesitant. "These past few months, you didn't seem to have any complaints about kissing me, with me touching you more often and ... um, intimately, but if you're not, I need you to tell me." He laid a hand on Tommy's thigh, garnering a startled glance.
/Aw, man! /Tommy felt the warmth from where Jason's palm was touching him radiate outwards, infusing his whole body with gradually-rising heat. /That feels soo good ... and soo scary! /He swallowed hard.
"Look, I know I kinda sprang my feelings on you last year. At the time, you seemed to be okay with it, but if you feel that you don't feel the same after all and no longer want to go any further, that's okay with me. I'll understand."
Jason smiled a little sadly. He, too, had pondered their relationship, the direction it was taking and how to develop it further, and hoped that by initiating physical contact beyond the occasional friendly hugs he hadn't overstepped some invisible boundary. In fact, fantasies about finally becoming intimate with his best friend had occupied most of his waking thoughts. Hiding a sudden fear that he'd been too aggressive, Jason removed his hand from Tommy's knee and offered what he imagined was both an apology and way out if that was the case. "I ... if I've made you uncomfortable in any way lately, you'll have to say so, Tom. I'm not a mind reader; if you want me to back off, just say the word. No hard feelings, okay? We can just go back to the way we used to be. It'll be enough." Which was perilously close to being an outright lie, but Jason hoped that Tommy would at least agree to remain his friend.
"No!" That was the one thing Tommy /was /sure about. It had taken him long enough to acknowledge that he loved Jason enough to want a physical relationship with him, but now that he had, he wasn't about to lose the closeness they'd achieved just because he suddenly had jitters.
"Going back to just friends won't be enough," he replied firmly. "Not for me, and I don't think for you either." He turned towards Jason and grasped the broad shoulders. "I meant what I said - I love you, and I want you. That hasn't changed."
"Then what's the problem, Tommy?" Jason asked, searching the chocolate-brown eyes only a couple of inches from his own. Tommy /seemed /to be confident enough, but he could still detect a trace of uncertainty. "I thought we could finally act on our feelings, but if you're not ready ... do you want to wait some more? I can do that ... even if I'm about to die of frustration," he admitted with a deprecating grin.
Tommy grinned back wryly. "You wouldn't be the only one," he muttered, releasing his friend. Sighing, Tommy rubbed his neck before he grasped the strong fingers and returned them to their former position. Somehow, they landed much higher up on his thigh, but he didn't mind anymore. Quite the opposite, in fact. "Jase, that /is /the problem - I want more, but I don't know what, or how!"
Jason sighed, relieved. /That /he could deal with. If only Tommy hadn't let go of him - it would've been so nice and easy to just lean forward and ... /Stop it right there, Scott. Talk first, kiss later. /Heeding his own advice, he cleared his throat before asking.
"Well, what do/ you /want to happen?"
Images from the porn he'd watched during his research flashed through Tommy's mind, leaving an equal mix of excitement and discomfort in their wake. They also made him feel first warm, then downright hot in some rather interesting places. He stifled a moan as he imagined Jason moving his hand just a few inches higher, towards his crotch.
"I dunno. More than what we've done so far, but exactly what, I have no idea." He sent a half-defiant, half-challenging glance to Jason. "You're the one with all the experience; you tell me what /you /want!"
Jason had admitted once during the past months that, unlike Tommy, he was no virgin with men; he hadn't gone into detail, but Tommy knew that he'd had more than one partner. /Not like me, who's only ever slept with Kat! /Which helped him not at all to alleviate an uncomfortable feeling of inadequacy.
Jason snorted. "I don't know what you've been imagining, but my 'experience' isn't all that great, either!"
"You have more than I," Tommy said quietly. "With girls and guys."
To his credit, Jason looked a little abashed. "Well, yeah, I guess." He drew a deep breath. "Okay. Just to clarify things - what I've done or not done with girls isn't relevant for us, right?" Tommy nodded mutely; he may have had only one lover, but he felt reasonably knowledgeable about regular heterosexual sex. And he didn't want /to know about the /ir/regular kind. Jason returned the silent gesture, then continued. "Right. So, guys ... for the record, I can still count the number of male partners I've had on one hand. What I've done with /them ... shit, this is either gonna sound totally crude, or way too clinical!" He chuckled softly, dark eyes twinkling with sudden humor. "Any preferences?"
Tommy shrugged and raised an eyebrow. "Whatever floats your boat. Just say it."
"Fat lot of help you are," Jason mock-grumbled. "Hmph." Blunt, then; no sense in beating around the bush with clinical expressions or euphemisms. "I've never fucked a guy, nor let myself be fucked. Everything else ... been there, done that."
"Meaning what?" Tommy blurted out without thinking.
Jason gave him an incredulous look. Did he really have to spell it out? Apparently so. Sheesh. "Blowjobs and jerking off," he said succinctly. "Both mutually and separately."
Tommy felt himself redden at the graphic words, but he refused to shy away; after all, he /had /asked for it. At the same time, he experienced a strange dichotomy - on the one hand, he was glad that there was one thing Jason hadn't shared with anyone else, and on the other ... he felt plain jealous that his friend had done all that with somebody already. /Someone who wasn't me, that is! /Then, the rational, scientist's part of his mind kicked in. At least one of them knew what to do. Which, all things considered, was kind of comforting.
"Why not?" He checked himself. "That is, if you don't mind telling me; if it's none of my business, just say so."
"Nah, it's okay," Jason replied easily enough. "It's like this ... my first time with a guy was while I was still in Geneva; I'd just started to suspect that I might be attracted to both men and women, and I was simply curious whether I could be wrong. I wasn't," he said drily. "Anyway, for an experiment it was enough to jerk off together. Well, each other, the second time. I just wasn't ready for more at the time. Then, at college ... things eventually progressed to blowjobs. I was attracted, I was horny - actually mostly both - but again, it was enough to take care of the itch. After that, nobody."
The little voice in Tommy's mind spoke up again. Interesting. /Then followed it immediately with a smug /GOOD! Impatiently, Tommy shushed the intruder.
"So that's the reason why you didn't, um, go all the way?"
Jason smiled faintly at the cautious expression ... and at his best friend's obvious curiosity. "Some of it, yeah. But the main reason why I held back ... none of my partners mattered enough to give that much trust to." He faced Tommy full-on, suddenly completely serious.
"It's different between us, though. With you, it would /matter. Because /you do."
*
A strong sense of déjà vu washed over Tommy. It was that night last spring all over again; once again, Jason had laid his heart open to him, to do with as he wished. It was enough to bring a huge lump to his throat.
However, this time Tommy knew exactly how to react. Without a moment's hesitation, he reached out and drew Jason against him, hugging him for all he was worth. Burying his face against Jason's neck, he struggled to find his voice.
"Aw, man ..."
Jason just had /to chuckle; it was such a /Tommy thing to say! Nevertheless, he returned the embrace with interest.
"Yeah," he murmured huskily into a conveniently-close ear. The gush of warm breath against his skin stirred up a whole flock of butterflies in Tommy's stomach, but for once it was pleasant rather than alarming. Tommy shuddered and found himself hugged more firmly, their bodies pressing as close as possible given their rather awkward position of sitting side-by-side. Somehow, it didn't matter; what counted was feeling warm, firm flesh under each other's hands, against their chests.
It was the most natural thing in the world then to kiss, and they did. Their lips met, opened and their tongues entwined, meshing together in a mutual expression of comfort, desire and love.
Both were panting slightly when they separated, and Tommy was thrilled when he recognized the renewed glitter in the midnight-dark eyes so close to his own. He knew that his own expression was likely a mirror of Jason's.
"You matter to me, too. More than just about anything or anyone."
Jason smiled and kissed Tommy again, more tenderly this time. "Thanks."
"Mmhmm." Suddenly hungry for more, Tommy leaned back in, capturing the warm mouth with his own. This time, /he /took the initiative, gently forcing his tongue deeper into the moist cavern in a way he'd never dared with Kat for fear of appearing too aggressive or overpowering. However, Jason was more than a match for him; his strength fit perfectly against Tommy's, and while he readily yielded to the oral assault, he could sense Jason's own power held back just below the surface. It was a heady feeling, and all at once Tommy knew what he had to do.
Reluctantly, he ended the passionate kiss and waited a few seconds until they both caught their breaths.
Something gave, all right; until now I just had no idea how good the giving could be!
"Let's do it," he murmured, resting his forehead against Jason's. "Now. Tonight."
Jason inhaled sharply. It was exactly what he'd been thinking himself, what he'd dreamed of and wanted with every fiber, but to hear Tommy offer it, just like that ...
"Are you sure, Bro?"
Decisively, Tommy nodded once. "Yeah. Absolutely."
It was the right answer. Slowly, Jason let go of Tommy and stood up. His eyes never left his friend's face as Tommy followed suit, even though he desperately wanted to see whether Tommy was experiencing the same surge of arousal that he was. If he didn't get out of his chinos soon, they would be visibly tenting. Any doubts about the other's reaction were dispelled, though, when Tommy pressed Jason against the pole holding up the porch roof and kissed him again; even through several layers of pants and underwear, Jason felt a hardness matching his own rub against his hip. He groaned his delight and excitement into Tommy's mouth, then ended their kiss with a teasing lick and nip on Tommy's bottom lip.
"Slow down, Bro, or I won't be good for much for a while," he cautioned. To illustrate his meaning, Jason reached down, put his hand on Tommy's butt to hold him precisely where he wanted him and thrust once. Tommy gasped as their erections met full-on and blushed, but didn't pull back. Jason grinned, pleased, before easing back just a little. Don't rush. Must. Not. Rush! "Besides, I'd rather not cream my pants; the stains are hell to get out, and I /don't /want to have to explain 'em to Mrs Keppel when I get home tomorrow," he quipped with a wink.
Tommy snickered with what little breath he had left. Jason's elderly landlady/neighbor was nice, but incredibly nosy, and the eyes behind her sequined bifocals missed very little. Besides, his own jeans had grown uncomfortably tight, and he couldn't wait to chuck them.
"That'll teach you to bring an extra pair next time," he smirked, grateful for the humor as it provided a much-needed respite. "Dark ones, too, so any stains won't show."
Jason sent him a smoldering look as he bent briefly to pick up their brandy glasses, barely refraining from wiggling his posterior in a not very subtle invitation. "Actually, I'd prefer not to stain my pants at all. Sheets are much easier to wash," he murmured suggestively. He held out one hand to Tommy - his Bro, his best friend, his lover-to-be.
"Shall we?"
Confident in his decision now, knowing that he'd reached the end of his obsession with what might be - because in a very short time, it would finally happen - Tommy nodded and took the outstretched hand.
"Yes."
Together, they went inside, letting the cabin's door fall closed behind them.
Sign up to rate and review this story