Categories > Original > Humor
Nekos aren't for christmas!
A man finds a cute Neko boy in a crate on his porch on christmas morning. He learns how hard taking care of a kid really is. Chapter 1 of my new split story.
?Blocked
Pre-warning: This is going to be my first ever split story. I didn't get this term anywhere else, nor have I seen this done anywhere else, so I take credit for this myself though I don't doubt it's been done before. Now, what I'm doing is writing the same story two different ways. The first chapter starts it all off, and it is only PG-13. If you've looked through my work, most of it is NC-17 or the like, and it is that way for a reason. I love writing adult things, but at the same time I wanted to write something cute, and that is why this came to mind. Unfortunately and fortunately at the same time for me, my mind has already perverted the idea and made it into something naughty. At first I couldn't figure out if I still wanted to go with my original plan and make it cute, or turn it into a yaoi filled abomonation. I chose to do both. This is how it works. Besides chapter 1, there will be two of each chapter. For instance, there will be two chapter twos, two chapter threes, and so on. One story line will follow the cute one I had originally intended to write, while the other will follow a seriously more adult story line. The innocent chapters, as you can call them, will be posted as odd numbers. I'm talking about the numbers that ficwad gives them. You know how there are the numbers there, and then it says the name of the chapter next to it. Well, anyway, the naughty chapters will be posted as even numbers. I won't post the same story twice, because it makes no sense to do so, so I will do it like this. Any complaints should be posted in the form of reviews. Besides that, I kind of like this idea, and I hope to see more people doing it. Btw, if you're posting a review, be specific on which version you're reading please. If you're reviewing after just reading a chapter, it won't tell me which chapter, and I don't want to look stupid, so please specify, and please review. I'd love to know what you think of my split story idea, and of course the story itself. If you're of age, I suggest reading both the versions to see how you like them, but you don't have to of course. Sorry for the long winded warning, but I thought I'd better give a through explination. To be safe, I'm posting this under the category of NC-17, but not all of it will be. As always, thanx for reading, and now that you're done reading the warning, by all means, get to reading if you still feel like it. Btw, I suggest following only one storyline at a time lest you get confused. Thanx again. ^.^
Nekos aren't for christmas!
An original story written by: Cereal_junkie
Warnings: Language, but nothing too severe
Rating: PG-13 at the most, for the moment
Additional Warnings: This will be a split story, so don't be confused. Just read the warning at the top if you haven't already and it'll explain everything.
A/N: I have nothing much to say here. I said it all up there in the warning.
Ch. 1: Don't call me master!
The dark haired man groaned as he rolled out of bed. To him it was just another morning that he didn't want to wake up. The word christmas meant nothing to him. He hated the holidays and all the crap that came with it. The neighbors' brats were all home, and they took what seemed like an abnormal amount of joy in pelting him with snowballs when he went out to get the paper or the mail. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as he sat up. He didn't even feel like getting up.
One thing he knew though, because his mother had always told him, was to keep at least the same sleeping schedual so he didn't get sick as often. He never slept in, nor did he go back to sleep once he woke up in the morning. It just wasn't done no matter what. He shook his head and ran his hand through his short black hair. Then, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and stepped into his slippers. He never went around his house without them.
He loathed having his feet bare for whatever reason. Maybe he just didn't like feet. Even he didn't know the exact reasoning for it. He just went with it. He went to the bathroom to do his morning routine. That was: Piss, shower, shave, and brush his hair and teeth. He liked to style his hair when he was going anywhere, but since he was staying home, he left it how it was, which really wasn't too bad. He went downstairs to fetch the morning paper, and when he opened his door, there was a gift.
It had pretty holiday wrapping on it, and it even had a bow, but it had holes in the sides which could only mean it was some kind of animal. You don't need airholes in the box unless there's something alive in it. The last thing, and the thing that really made it weird was that it had his name on it. He shook his head and though he didn't want to bring it in because it looked big enough to be holding a tiger, he decided that he couldn't leave whatever was in the box outside in the cold.
He lifted one end of the box and he heard a strange sound and a kind of yelp as the thing inside slid against the other side of the box. When he started to drag it inside, he concluded that because of it's weight, it wasn't a tiger unless it was a tiger cub. When he got it all the way inside and grabbed his paper, he closed the door so he wouldn't let all the heat out. Then he got to thinking about the strange package and how it came to be on his porch.
Who in their right minds would put a living creature out in the cold like that? How long was it out there? Was it wild? He knew it was still alive because of the yelp earlier, but what if he had hurt it doing that? What if it had already been injured somehow and he had just made it worse? He decided to try to open it to see if whatever was inside was alright. He found a latch on the top of what must have been the front and cautiously unlatched it.
The front of the box fell forward onto the floor with a thump and he peered inside carefully. What he saw both surprised and disturbed him. It was a little boy, but he had the ears and the tail of a cat, and he was nude. He couldn't have been more than 7 years old. Why in the hell would someone send him something like this?!? Did they think he was a pervert?!? What the hell were they thinking?!? The little boy smiled and looked at him, crawling out of the crate slowly.
"Hello master. It's nice to meet you!" he said, crawling on his hands and knees even after he was out of the crate. Thinking quickly, he grabbed his couch cover and put it over the boy quickly, covering his shame for him. At the word master he had scowled. Now he knew somebody thought he was a pervert.
"What's wrong master?" the boy asked, shivering slightly and pulling the cover around him. He must have nearly froze out there considering the fact that he had no clothing and the box wouldn't have been insulated.
"Don't call me master!" he said, scowling at the boy. He hated children to say the least, but he was going to lend him some clothes because for one, he was naked, and for another, though he was a kid, he did deserve a break. He wasn't being annoying at least.
"If I can't call you master, then what should I call you?" the boy asked, looking up at him with a smile that would've melted anyone else's heart.
"Kuratsuchi." he said, the scowl remaining on his face as he went upstairs to get at least a robe for the kid for now so he didn't have to keep using the damn couch cover. When he came back down, the boy had a frown on his face.
"Can I call you Kura-chan?" the boy asked as he was motioned to stand.
"No. If the name is too hard for you then just call me Sasuke." the man said, wrapping the robe around the kid as he dropped the couch cover. He had him put his arms through the sleeves and then he wrapped the robe tightly and tied the sash. It was big, but it would have to do for now. He'd probably have to go out and buy him underwear and clothing later on, but of course no stores would be open today because it was Christmas. He'd have to wait until tomorrow.
"Sasuke." the boy said, not really asking anything. He was just saying his name.
"Well, at least you can pronounce that. Do you have a name?" he asked, thinking that he was being unusually kind to someone that he had just found on his doorstep. The kid looked thoughtful for a moment.
"Nobody ever gave me a name." the boy said, looking up at Sasuke with that smile again. Sasuke sighed and scratched his head.
"Great. Just my luck." he said, shaking his head, his scowl more pronounced now. The boy looked up at him still, slightly intimidated by the scowl but trying not to show it.
"You can call me whatever you want, master." the boy said, still smiling up at him.
"I told you not to call me master!" he said, sighing and turning away. This was just what he needed. Some pedo's idea of the best gift ever.
"S-sorry. I forgot." the boy said, now slightly frightened. His ears lie flat against his head because of the volume of Sasuke's last exclaimation.
"Tch. It's fine. Just don't do it again. I'll give you a name later, but for now, are you hungry?" he asked, not turning back toward the boy. With the gentleness of the last sentence, his ears perked back up and he smiled again.
"Mmm hmmm. I don't remember the last time I ate. My tummy feels empty." the boy said, rubbing his stomach.
"Alright; fine. I'll go make something to eat. You just go sit on the couch for now and don't get into anything." he said, making his way out to the kitchen before the boy could think to say anything else. He obeyed Sasuke and sat on the couch, laying his head down on the arm rest and falling asleep almost instantly. Out in the kitchen, Sasuke was getting things out of the fridge and cupboard to make breakfast for himself and the kid. He got out oatmeal for the kid so he could have something light.
He figured that if the kid was telling the truth about not eating for awhile, which he most likely was, he would get sick if he ate anything too heavy. There were two reasons he didn't want that. For one, he felt sorry for the kid for having to endure the cold like that while not being fed for awhile. The second reason was because he really didn't want to have to deal with a sick kid. Who ever sent the kid to him had a lot of hell coming to him when he finally found out who they were.
There was also the fact that the kid was really unusual. Those ears and that tail were definately not normal. Was someone doing genetic expiraments, or what? What the hell were they thinking sending him something like that? His scowl was renewed as he thought about this, and he almost burned the eggs he was making for himself while he waited for the kid's oatmeal to heat up in the small sauce pan that was on the burner to the right of the one he was currently using.
Obviously he didn't smile much, if at all. It was a rare occurence to be sure. He really didn't find too much to smile about, and he was already in a bad mood because of Christmas this morning, so a naked cat boy showing up on his porch in a wooden, gift-wrapped crate obviously did nothing to lift his mood. It added to it considerably, actually. He wouldn't have wanted to switch places with whoever might decide to call him today to wish him a Merry Christmas. He had told anyone he knew not to do that.
He didn't tell them why, of course, because that was none of their business. He just warned them not to do it because they would probably get a very nasty response. He was just glad no one had called yet, though he knew it was almost inevitable because his sister was really bad with that kind of thing. She tried to cheer him up every year, but nothing she did helped. As a matter of fact, it usually made it worse because he was already mad at her for trying.
Sometimes when you're mad, or even depressed, you want to stay that way. You hate it the most when people try to cheer you up while you're in that state. That's just how people are sometimes. It's just like the fact that people who aren't morning people hate people who are, or at the least, extremely dislike them in the morning. Luckily for him, it seemed like no one was calling yet, and he'd probably let the phone ring if they did.
He could let the answering machine pick it up so he could delete any stupid calls he got wishing him a Merry Christmas. The main culprit was his sister of course, but there were others; certain "others" that he knew that just loved to chip away at the eroding stones that were his sanity and patience, though he had alot more trouble with his patience breaking as he had not yet went insane. He thought about it and shook his head. He hated in when people went out of their way to annoy him.
But then again, wouldn't you? There was reason for it other than getting under his skin, and one of the "others" that did that was his secretary. He would have fired her a long time ago if she weren't so damn good at her job. He guess that she just liked to tease him, like a sister would. Or maybe she liked him. He really didn't care. She definately wasn't his type. She was a smoking hot woman who got almost everything she wanted, and he hated those types of people no matter what they look like.
He sighed and shook his head to get his thought process back into cooking before he utterly ruined breakfast. The kid's oatmeal was finally warmed up and his eggs had already been done. He was about done with his bacon and the toast had just popped up. He left the bacon to fry for a bit longer while he carried the sauce pan to the table and sat it down, taking a bowl out of the cupboard and a spoon out of the sliverware drawer and spooning the oatmeal into the bowl.
He stirred some sugar into it and set the spoon down in the bowl, then he ran some water into the recently emptied pan and sat it in the sink to wash later. Maybe taking care of a kid wouldn't be so hard after all. He had just cooked for him, so what ever else he might have to do should be easier, right? It's not like he had to change diapers or anything. The kid was old enough to use the toilet. Well, if they had taught him to use one at where ever it is he came from, that is.
He smiled to himself. Taking care of this kid until he could bring him into a hospital or a police station to drop him off to proper authorities was going to be easy. No work at all. He didn't know why parents complained so much. It was so easy to do. He chuckled as he thought about this, and then he figured he might as well go get the kid so he could eat something. He could think of names while they were eating, and maybe even get to know him a little bit more. Find out where he came from.
Chapter End
Nekos aren't for christmas!
An original story written by: Cereal_junkie
Warnings: Language, but nothing too severe
Rating: PG-13 at the most, for the moment
Additional Warnings: This will be a split story, so don't be confused. Just read the warning at the top if you haven't already and it'll explain everything.
A/N: I have nothing much to say here. I said it all up there in the warning.
Ch. 1: Don't call me master!
The dark haired man groaned as he rolled out of bed. To him it was just another morning that he didn't want to wake up. The word christmas meant nothing to him. He hated the holidays and all the crap that came with it. The neighbors' brats were all home, and they took what seemed like an abnormal amount of joy in pelting him with snowballs when he went out to get the paper or the mail. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as he sat up. He didn't even feel like getting up.
One thing he knew though, because his mother had always told him, was to keep at least the same sleeping schedual so he didn't get sick as often. He never slept in, nor did he go back to sleep once he woke up in the morning. It just wasn't done no matter what. He shook his head and ran his hand through his short black hair. Then, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and stepped into his slippers. He never went around his house without them.
He loathed having his feet bare for whatever reason. Maybe he just didn't like feet. Even he didn't know the exact reasoning for it. He just went with it. He went to the bathroom to do his morning routine. That was: Piss, shower, shave, and brush his hair and teeth. He liked to style his hair when he was going anywhere, but since he was staying home, he left it how it was, which really wasn't too bad. He went downstairs to fetch the morning paper, and when he opened his door, there was a gift.
It had pretty holiday wrapping on it, and it even had a bow, but it had holes in the sides which could only mean it was some kind of animal. You don't need airholes in the box unless there's something alive in it. The last thing, and the thing that really made it weird was that it had his name on it. He shook his head and though he didn't want to bring it in because it looked big enough to be holding a tiger, he decided that he couldn't leave whatever was in the box outside in the cold.
He lifted one end of the box and he heard a strange sound and a kind of yelp as the thing inside slid against the other side of the box. When he started to drag it inside, he concluded that because of it's weight, it wasn't a tiger unless it was a tiger cub. When he got it all the way inside and grabbed his paper, he closed the door so he wouldn't let all the heat out. Then he got to thinking about the strange package and how it came to be on his porch.
Who in their right minds would put a living creature out in the cold like that? How long was it out there? Was it wild? He knew it was still alive because of the yelp earlier, but what if he had hurt it doing that? What if it had already been injured somehow and he had just made it worse? He decided to try to open it to see if whatever was inside was alright. He found a latch on the top of what must have been the front and cautiously unlatched it.
The front of the box fell forward onto the floor with a thump and he peered inside carefully. What he saw both surprised and disturbed him. It was a little boy, but he had the ears and the tail of a cat, and he was nude. He couldn't have been more than 7 years old. Why in the hell would someone send him something like this?!? Did they think he was a pervert?!? What the hell were they thinking?!? The little boy smiled and looked at him, crawling out of the crate slowly.
"Hello master. It's nice to meet you!" he said, crawling on his hands and knees even after he was out of the crate. Thinking quickly, he grabbed his couch cover and put it over the boy quickly, covering his shame for him. At the word master he had scowled. Now he knew somebody thought he was a pervert.
"What's wrong master?" the boy asked, shivering slightly and pulling the cover around him. He must have nearly froze out there considering the fact that he had no clothing and the box wouldn't have been insulated.
"Don't call me master!" he said, scowling at the boy. He hated children to say the least, but he was going to lend him some clothes because for one, he was naked, and for another, though he was a kid, he did deserve a break. He wasn't being annoying at least.
"If I can't call you master, then what should I call you?" the boy asked, looking up at him with a smile that would've melted anyone else's heart.
"Kuratsuchi." he said, the scowl remaining on his face as he went upstairs to get at least a robe for the kid for now so he didn't have to keep using the damn couch cover. When he came back down, the boy had a frown on his face.
"Can I call you Kura-chan?" the boy asked as he was motioned to stand.
"No. If the name is too hard for you then just call me Sasuke." the man said, wrapping the robe around the kid as he dropped the couch cover. He had him put his arms through the sleeves and then he wrapped the robe tightly and tied the sash. It was big, but it would have to do for now. He'd probably have to go out and buy him underwear and clothing later on, but of course no stores would be open today because it was Christmas. He'd have to wait until tomorrow.
"Sasuke." the boy said, not really asking anything. He was just saying his name.
"Well, at least you can pronounce that. Do you have a name?" he asked, thinking that he was being unusually kind to someone that he had just found on his doorstep. The kid looked thoughtful for a moment.
"Nobody ever gave me a name." the boy said, looking up at Sasuke with that smile again. Sasuke sighed and scratched his head.
"Great. Just my luck." he said, shaking his head, his scowl more pronounced now. The boy looked up at him still, slightly intimidated by the scowl but trying not to show it.
"You can call me whatever you want, master." the boy said, still smiling up at him.
"I told you not to call me master!" he said, sighing and turning away. This was just what he needed. Some pedo's idea of the best gift ever.
"S-sorry. I forgot." the boy said, now slightly frightened. His ears lie flat against his head because of the volume of Sasuke's last exclaimation.
"Tch. It's fine. Just don't do it again. I'll give you a name later, but for now, are you hungry?" he asked, not turning back toward the boy. With the gentleness of the last sentence, his ears perked back up and he smiled again.
"Mmm hmmm. I don't remember the last time I ate. My tummy feels empty." the boy said, rubbing his stomach.
"Alright; fine. I'll go make something to eat. You just go sit on the couch for now and don't get into anything." he said, making his way out to the kitchen before the boy could think to say anything else. He obeyed Sasuke and sat on the couch, laying his head down on the arm rest and falling asleep almost instantly. Out in the kitchen, Sasuke was getting things out of the fridge and cupboard to make breakfast for himself and the kid. He got out oatmeal for the kid so he could have something light.
He figured that if the kid was telling the truth about not eating for awhile, which he most likely was, he would get sick if he ate anything too heavy. There were two reasons he didn't want that. For one, he felt sorry for the kid for having to endure the cold like that while not being fed for awhile. The second reason was because he really didn't want to have to deal with a sick kid. Who ever sent the kid to him had a lot of hell coming to him when he finally found out who they were.
There was also the fact that the kid was really unusual. Those ears and that tail were definately not normal. Was someone doing genetic expiraments, or what? What the hell were they thinking sending him something like that? His scowl was renewed as he thought about this, and he almost burned the eggs he was making for himself while he waited for the kid's oatmeal to heat up in the small sauce pan that was on the burner to the right of the one he was currently using.
Obviously he didn't smile much, if at all. It was a rare occurence to be sure. He really didn't find too much to smile about, and he was already in a bad mood because of Christmas this morning, so a naked cat boy showing up on his porch in a wooden, gift-wrapped crate obviously did nothing to lift his mood. It added to it considerably, actually. He wouldn't have wanted to switch places with whoever might decide to call him today to wish him a Merry Christmas. He had told anyone he knew not to do that.
He didn't tell them why, of course, because that was none of their business. He just warned them not to do it because they would probably get a very nasty response. He was just glad no one had called yet, though he knew it was almost inevitable because his sister was really bad with that kind of thing. She tried to cheer him up every year, but nothing she did helped. As a matter of fact, it usually made it worse because he was already mad at her for trying.
Sometimes when you're mad, or even depressed, you want to stay that way. You hate it the most when people try to cheer you up while you're in that state. That's just how people are sometimes. It's just like the fact that people who aren't morning people hate people who are, or at the least, extremely dislike them in the morning. Luckily for him, it seemed like no one was calling yet, and he'd probably let the phone ring if they did.
He could let the answering machine pick it up so he could delete any stupid calls he got wishing him a Merry Christmas. The main culprit was his sister of course, but there were others; certain "others" that he knew that just loved to chip away at the eroding stones that were his sanity and patience, though he had alot more trouble with his patience breaking as he had not yet went insane. He thought about it and shook his head. He hated in when people went out of their way to annoy him.
But then again, wouldn't you? There was reason for it other than getting under his skin, and one of the "others" that did that was his secretary. He would have fired her a long time ago if she weren't so damn good at her job. He guess that she just liked to tease him, like a sister would. Or maybe she liked him. He really didn't care. She definately wasn't his type. She was a smoking hot woman who got almost everything she wanted, and he hated those types of people no matter what they look like.
He sighed and shook his head to get his thought process back into cooking before he utterly ruined breakfast. The kid's oatmeal was finally warmed up and his eggs had already been done. He was about done with his bacon and the toast had just popped up. He left the bacon to fry for a bit longer while he carried the sauce pan to the table and sat it down, taking a bowl out of the cupboard and a spoon out of the sliverware drawer and spooning the oatmeal into the bowl.
He stirred some sugar into it and set the spoon down in the bowl, then he ran some water into the recently emptied pan and sat it in the sink to wash later. Maybe taking care of a kid wouldn't be so hard after all. He had just cooked for him, so what ever else he might have to do should be easier, right? It's not like he had to change diapers or anything. The kid was old enough to use the toilet. Well, if they had taught him to use one at where ever it is he came from, that is.
He smiled to himself. Taking care of this kid until he could bring him into a hospital or a police station to drop him off to proper authorities was going to be easy. No work at all. He didn't know why parents complained so much. It was so easy to do. He chuckled as he thought about this, and then he figured he might as well go get the kid so he could eat something. He could think of names while they were eating, and maybe even get to know him a little bit more. Find out where he came from.
Chapter End
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