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The babies were tiny pink bundles, perfectly formed and the apple of their father's eye. Mary had Castiel's glossy black hair and Dean's big hazel-green eyes, but to Dean she looked most like Sammy. When she smiled or laughed, all he saw was Sam. John had Dean's tousled brown hair but his namesake's brown eyes, and it broke Dean's heart, it felt so much like he was looking at his father again. Castiel was curled up asleep on the bed, exhausted from the hour it had taken for Sam's spell to coax the twins out of his body. Sam was asleep in a chair, his hair falling over his eyes. Only Dean was awake, unable to pull himself away from his beautiful sleeping children, stroking their hair and kissing their little hands and watching them with all the love he could muster.

"Dean? You should get some sleep, boy," Bobby said, coming up to look down at the twins. "My lord, aren't they just the cutest little things?"

"I know," Dean said, tucking the blanket around them. "Yeah, I'm gonna go lay down with Cas. But I doubt I'm getting any sleep tonight."

Bobby chuckled. "Trust me Dean, you won't. A new father is the hardest person to get to go to sleep at night. All you'll do is lay in there for hours and listen to them, jump up every time one of them cries. They always talk about how the mothers act, but believe me, fathers are worse. I've known for a long time how you'd come out as a father. And so far, I'm right."

Dean laughed. "Yeah." He leaned down to kiss Mary and John. "Good night, guys. Sweet dreams."

He let Bobby lead him back to the bed, where he immediately crawled under the covers and snuggled up to Castiel. Cas's eyes opened tiredly, and he took in Dean's face with a smile.

"Are they okay?" he asked.

"They're wonderful," Dean said, nuzzling Cas's lips. "And so am I. I love you, Castiel."

"I love you too, Dean," Castiel murmured.

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"No! Castiel, no!" Dean screamed as the demon pulled the trigger on the Colt.

Sam grabbed him from behind as Cas's body flew backward through the window, the glass shattering. The demon smiled and dropped the Colt, then disappeared in a black cloud from Bobby Singer's mouth. It had been too easy for the thing to sneak in as Bobby, too easy for it to get ahold of the Colt, too easy for it to find Castiel in the bedroom with the twins. Both of whom were screaming as their mother's body was thrown life a ragdoll's.

"No!" Dean fell to his knees, the life draining from him. His voice dwindled to a soft whisper. "No, Castiel. No."

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Sam watched his brother sleeping as he paced the hallway with John in his arms. Mary was already asleep in her crib with her teddy bear, but John, always the restless one, was just now quieting down in Sam's arms. From what Sam knew, Castiel had been the one with the special touch to get John to sleep.

"Shh little baby, don't say a word," Sam cooed, "Sammy's gonna buy you a mocking bird. And if that mocking bird don't sing, Sammy's gonna buy you a diamond ring. And if that diamond ring don't shine, Sammy's gonna buy you a piece of mind."

Dean was whimpering softly. For a moment, Sam stopped and leaned in the door.

"You okay, Dean?" Sam asked.

"Yeah. Please keep singing."

Sam bit his lip as tears filled his eyes. "And if that piece of mind don't stay, Sammy's gonna buy you a sunshine ray. And if that sunshine ray burns fast, Sammy's gonna buy you a looking glass. And if that looking glass gets broke, Sammy's gonna buy you a billy goat. And if that billy goat won't pull, Sammy's gonna buy you a cart and bull. And if that cart and bull falls over, Sammy's gonna buy you a dog named Rover. And if that dog named Rover won't bark, Sammy's gonna buy you a horse and cart. And if you horse and cart falls down, you'll be the sweetest baby in town."

Dean's breathing was even, as was John's. With a little painful smile, Sam laid John in his crib and tucked the blanket around him, then went to his room. As soon as he sat down, Dean was in there with him, tears running down his cheeks.

"Come here," Sam said automatically, holding his arms out to Dean.

"I want him back," Dean whispered, burying his face in Sam's chest. "I can't do it, Sammy, I can't."

"Yes, you can," Sam murmured. "Dean, I know it hurts. But it'll hurt a little less and less each day. And you'll find the person you'll be with forever."

"I had him," Dean said, his words muffled by Sam's shirt. "Dammit Sammy, I had the most perfect man in the whole world taken away from me. I had to watch while that demon bastard-" He broke off into gasping sobs, his arms tightening around Sam's waist. "Sammy, I just want to be loved."

"Dean, I want to talk to you about something," Sam said. He'd been wondering how to tell Dean about this, and he had run out of ideas except being straight forward. "Castiel is gone now, yes, but . . . Jimmy Novak is still alive."

"What?" Dean sat up, searching Sam's face. "What do you mean? He was shot, Sam, shot a long time ago by that demon. Cas- Cas took him over."

"I know," Sam said. "But Gazardiel and some of the other angels agreed that such a devout man as Jimmy Novak didn't deserve to die. He'll remain alive, as an Immortal." He chewed on his lower lip, knowing this part would hurt Dean the most. "He knows about the twins, Dean, and as he sees it, they're as much his as yours. He wants to see them."

Dean shook his head. "Sammy, I can't let him." His voice began to hitch. "That's his body, I get that, but to me, it's Cas's. I can't put the kids through that. They'd . . . They'd be confused."

"Dean, they're his too," Sam said. "You aren't the kind of person to tell him no."

"Who am I now?" Dean asked viciously. "No, let me rephrase that. Who do you want me to be?"

"Dean, don't," Sam said. "Look, you haven't been possessed before, I doubt you even can be. But the body those twins grew in was Jimmy's. Maybe Cas was in it, but it didn't matter."

"It did matter!" Dean fell against Sam, helpless. "I don't know why, but it mattered. When Asher possessed you, it was still you. When that demon possessed Bobby. . . But not with Castiel."

Sam shook his head. "Dean, I'm sorry. I understand how you feel, believe me, I do, but you at least have to let him see Mary and John. Just let him see the twins. Let him know they exist, okay? He can't go back to his wife or his daughter, but he can be around your children."

Dean sighed, nodded. "Okay. Sam, can I sleep in here tonight?"

Sam's heart broke. "Yeah bro, of course you can."

Dean smiled and laid back. "I just wanna be loved, Sam," he said again, curling under the blankets. "Is that so much to ask?"