FicWad

Chapter One



The stone beneath my feet was hard and unyielding as Iwalked across the courtyard, each step a hammer to my heart, each placement of my foot a gong that signaled my inevitable doom. A soft mist filled the air, the purifying spray from the fountain situated in my path attempting to deter me from my current goal, pleading with me to reconsider my decision in the face of an unwillingly sundered love.



I did not listen. Stepping around the stone structure blocking me from the exit, I let out a soft sigh. I needed to get out before they appeared. Before he appeared. I wasn’t certain if I had the power to do what was needed if he begged me. My resolve would crumble then, and I would be left even hollower than I was now.



Fifteen feet.



I thought of his voice, so laden with bitter regret it would have torn my heart out had I a heart to remove at all. I remembered his initial reaction to seeing me; the way he’d leapt forward, his arms reaching for me, my name falling from his lips with a fervor that could leave no doubt as to just how much he loved me. I had reached out, pleading with whatever Gods were out there for him to initiate the embrace I desperately needed, but it appeared the watchers of the Heavens were otherwise engaged.



He stopped just shy of touching me, jerked to a halt as though he had come up against an invisible barrier intent on keeping him from my arms. He still reached, however, and I knew even without the ability to see it, that his eyes were filled with tears.



Mine were too as I stepped forward and placed my hands on his shoulders. I glanced around, ensuring we were alone before I cupped his face with one hand, sliding the other gently into his hair so as not to muss it. Leaning up on my toes, I drew his face to mine and kissed him.



It was not a kiss of fire or passion, desperate longing or angry defiance. It was a kiss of heart rending devastation, infinite sadness, and an undeniable finality. It was a kiss of goodbye, and we both knew it.



He stiffened in surprise when my lips found his, and I would have pulled back and turned away right then had his arms not closed about me, holding me to him, the tension leaving him as swiftly as it had come. His lips were soft and warm, firm yet gentle, and I wished we were sharing this moment under circumstances that would allow more to follow; circumstances that would bring us closer, not tear us apart forever.



He was the first to deepen the kiss. I felt his tongue trace my lower lip, silently begging entrance. I granted it, even though I knew this would make it even more difficult to say goodbye in the end. The more intimate this stolen moment became, the more it would hurt to walk away knowing it would never happen again.



And yet, that could also work against us, as an excuse to do what we were doing. We would only have this once, so why not make the most of it while we still could? I didn’t have the answers, nor did he. The only thing we knew was that neither of us wanted him to kiss another, not now, not ever. But we both knew that too was a wish that would be denied us.



Ten feet.



When we parted, reluctantly and with much force of will, Irealized my cheeks were wet with tears that were not my own. Mine had yet to fall, though it wouldn’t be long now. I did not release him and our faces remained painfully, beautifully close.



“I love you,” he whispered, resting his forehead against mine. “You know I love /you/, don’t you, mia cara?”



I knew, and I nodded. “I know,” I whispered, brushing the tears from his eyes. “Just as I love you. I always will.”



I closed my eyes as he leaned in, trailing his lips across my cheek to my ear, drawing me close once more as he breathed against my skin apromise I knew with a wave of bitter sadness he could never keep. Not with awife like her.



“I will never touch her. I will want only you for as long as my heart is still beating, for as long as my lungs still draw breath, and beyond even that. Do you hear me, Samantha? You are mine/, and /I/am yours. Nobody else shall /ever have me.”



I was weeping now, silent, convulsive sobs that shook me as though I were but a flower petal in a gale. Pressing my face against his neck, I cried and cried, my fingers curled into the softness of his tunic, not caring if I wrinkled it in my attempt to ground myself to this world; to keep myself from flying apart into millions of shattered fragments of an ever-damned soul. I didn’t care if we were caught; I clung to him, my world, my lifeline, my survival. And he clung back, his tears falling into my hair as we both raged inwardly against the inevitable separation looming on the horizon, waiting with bated breath and open jaws to destroy our happiness forevermore.



We clutched at one another as though by holding on as tightly as possible, we could forestall our fate and remain locked in this eternal embrace until the world was no more. We should have known, and I think somewhere deep down we did, that our pitiful human strength was nothing when compared to the cold, iron jaws of destiny.



Five feet.



As the clock upon the watch tower tolled, I whimpered, my arms tightening about him in a last, desperate effort to keep him close, to keep him mine. I felt his do the same, and before we knew it, we were kissing again, and there was nothing soft and gentle about it this time. No. This kiss was desperate, urgent, passionate, defiant and furious. The intensity of it was such that I was not even aware we were moving until I felt hard marble at my back, cold in contrast to the warmth of his body as it pinned me there.



“No,” he gasped, burying his face against my neck and trailing a fiery line of kisses over my skin. “No. Please no.”



I knew he was not pleading with me not to go, but with fate not to make him leave me. Fate was cruel though. Fate merely laughed at his distress and scoffed at his pleas. Fate was a thrice-blast bastard.



By the fourth toll, his mouth was on mine. By the fifth, he was making me shiver with a series of nipping kisses along my neck. By the seventh, he was leaving a mark upon my skin. By the ninth, he was devouring my lips once more, and by the eleventh, footsteps intruded upon our final moments of frantic bliss.



Someone was coming.



As was the end.



“Reas,” I gasped, but I need not have alerted him. He had frozen and before I could steel myself for it, he pulled away, pushing me gently, yet firmly toward the door.



“Go, my beautiful little butterfly,” he whispered in achoked voice. “You shouldn’t be here. I love you, Sam. I /love/you with every fiber of my being. Go, angel. Go!”



I went.



“Sam!”



I froze and turned to look at him.



“Always,” he whispered.



A single tear ran down my cheek. “And forever.”



He blew me a kiss which I returned before whirling about on my heel, my dark hair fanning out behind me and running out into the afternoon sunshine which did nothing to warm the ice that was filling the gaping hole where my heart had rested but moments before. Stumbling blindly through my tears, I managed to make it to the courtyard where I would not be forced to listen to the music or the ceremony. I sank down upon the edge of the fountain, dropping my head into my hands. It was quiet here, but I knew I wouldn’t stay. I couldn’t stay. He would be emerging within the hour, and this time, he would be bound to another. I couldn’t see that. I couldn’t handle that. Ineeded to put my plan into motion before the binding was complete.



But I couldn’t move. My anguish bound me to my perch beside the arcing spout of water falling from the hands of two stone faeries, plastering my hair to my face and scalp with its misty tears.



Five minutes. I cried.



Ten minutes. I said a prayer.



Fifteen minutes. I whispered his name.



Twenty minutes. I felt my heart die.



Twenty-five minutes. The world turned grey.



Thirty minutes. It was time to go.



Three feet.



I began to run.



>>>>>>>>>>



I stood on the edge of the cliff, gazing down into the heaving mass beneath me. The roar of the surf as it greeted land seemed very far away from this height, a background hum to the shrieking cries of the gulls as they wheeled overhead, seeking their prey in the depths of the grey-green water below. I wondered if they would seek me too once I was among the waves. Astrong breeze rushed over me, whipping my dark tresses into my face and causing my eyes to smart and sting from the biting cold of it. I shivered.



I gazed at the sky, judging the hour. I did not have much time. He would find me if I did not act now.



But for some reason, I could not bring myself to move. My body remained locked and immobile, and for a fleeting moment, I wondered if Ihad just been stopped with magic.



It took me a full thirty seconds to chalk that up to nerves and terror. I wanted this, didn’t I? Then why was I so scared? Why was Ihesitating?



I took a step closer. My toes were now hanging off the edge.



I took a deep breath.



I crouched.



“I love you, Andreas,” I whispered before I flung myself into open space, my face turned up to the heavens as I fell toward the roiling sea below.