Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance
All My Lovin'
When Frank Iero shows up at the New Jersey mental hospital, what kind of twists and turns will unfold?
?Blocked
-Frank’s POV-
I sighed and stepped out of the large white van. I swung my backpack over my shoulder and just wrinkled my nose at where I had to spend my time for the next six months. A mental hospital. For the mentally ill. Its not that I had anything against them, I mean, hell I was a mentally ill person myself. But, I thought it was a little screwed up that we had to be locked away, away from the rest of the word, in a “hospital” like prison. They pointed to the door and I rolled my eyes. I might have an illness, but I am not retarded. The doors slide open as my foot tapped on the black mat; I slowly stepped inside and waved to the lady behind the desk. She adjusted her glasses and just looked at me. I guess the people who work here hate their job just as much as the people who got trapped in this place. The tall man turned to me and looked down at me.
“Do you smoke?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“Would you like a de-toxic room or just get stuck in the smoker’s area?”
“Look, I don’t want to be here. The freedom of being able to smoke here is great. I’ll need it.”
He sighed and pointed to the left side of the hallway.
“Find a room and have a good day.”
I rubbed my chin and walked down the hallway on the left. As I swung the door open, I got a scent that made me feel wonderful. But the group I was in for was something I didn’t expect. The sound of guys laughing and poker chips falling filled the air. I walked down the hall until I hit the room where I large round table was set up. Five men sat around the table, all with cigarette in their mouths. One man had a smaller younger male sitting on his lap. I squinted and hoped that I wasn’t just imagining things. After trying to adjust my eyesight, the image didn’t disappear. I just shrugged and looked into the rooms. All filled up. So I walked farther in the room and smiled and held my hand up to the guys who grew quite and still. I nodded my head and kept walking.
“Looking for a room?”
“Yes, actually.”
“You’re going to want to go all the way down the hallway here and the last room on the right is open. It’s a two person room and one person is already in there.”
“Okay, uhm. Thank you.”
He smirked and winked at me.
“You’re welcome.”
I just blinked and sped up my walk to a slight jog. I’m not sure what hospital I ended up in. But I ended up in one I wasn’t exactly sure I was safe in. When I got to the room, it was silent. I looked around and noticed the large lump in the bed. I silently eased my way in the room and set my stuff down. I grabbed my cigarettes and my lighter and eased back out. I walked back to where I first stumbled into and sat down on the windowsill. I lit the cigarette looked at the guys playing poker. A small voice in my head told me that the minute they began strip poker, I was going to leave. I agreed with this voice and took a drag from the cigarette. When I looked out the window, I noticed the dark cloud that was lingering in the air. I chewed my lip and felt my chest get tight. I took a deep breath and looked at my watch. It read seven thirty-eight. I sighed and adjusted my hat, then crushed my bud and walked back to my room. I quickly changed, got my iPod and slipped into bed. I dozed off during ‘Scream’ by The Misfits.
Later that night, I woke up to the sound of a lighter being repeatedly flicked. I rubbed my eyes and rubbed my chest, which I had forgotten to put a shirt on. I rubbed my eyes again and looked at the figure that was standing by the windowsill. I sat up in my bed and seemed to make a lot of noise. But he didn’t turn around and look at me, let alone say hi or anything. I looked back down at my legs that were covered only by a pair of boxers. I quickly made a mental note to begin dressing in more attire so I wasn’t fondled in my sleep. After my eyesight adjusted to the darkness and I noticed the moon’s light, I saw him. I looked over at the bed next to me, and noticed that the lump that was there before was gone. I then figured, that the guy standing at the windowsill was the lump that was encased in blankets.
He lit his cigarette and placed it in his mouth. I looked up at him from my bed and sighed. The moonlight shone on his velvet black hair that was tangled. He looked out at the stars that glittered in the dark sky. He muttered something about their beauty. I looked down at my bed covers and fixed the wrinkle in the sheet. As I wrinkled my nose, I noticed that the silence between us making me uncomfortable. If we had to be roommates, I need to try and get to know this guy. At least, just a little bit. Other wise every night that I couldn't sleep and he was up, it would make me uncomfortable.
"Uhm."
He looked at me with a straight look on his face. But his lips read, "please say something." And his eyes looked welcoming to conversation. I fixed the sheet again and looked back up at him.
"So, why are you here?"
He took an extremely long drag from his cigarette. It lasted twenty-seven seconds, far as I counted. He cocked part of his lips open and let the smoke escape into a cloud above us. The way it slipped out of his mouth was so elegant, so...so graceful. Yet sensual and sexy. He looked out the window and sort of smiled at his reflection in the glass.
"Boy, I've seen and done things that you wouldn't believe."
"Firstly, I'm not a boy. Secondly, I would believe it."
"Well, kid, it would make you sick."
I blinked and wondered why he was calling me kid and boy. He wasn't clearly older than me.
"You know, you can call me Frank."
"And you can call me Gerard and explain to me why you're here."
"Honestly, I really don't know. I know I'm screwed up in the head, and that's all I've ever been told."
"We're all screwed up in the head Frank. Every single one of us."
He turned around and looked at me. He crushed his cigarette on the windowsill and flicked it out of the window. He sat down on the bed and sighed.
"Not all of us."
I twisted my fingers in the bed sheet, and then quickly fixed it.
"Yes Frank. All of us. If you want to believe that not all of us are fucked in the head, then believe it. But, I'm not going to live in that kind of fairy tale. Life doesn't have a happy ending, and fairy tales don't exist."
I then noticed how much of a negative man Gerard was. I stood up on the floor and flatted my imaginary shirt out. I looked him dead straight in the eyes.
"You might be right, okay? I know life doesn't have a happy ending, I don't need anyone to tell me that. I know fairy tales don't exist. If they did, I won't be here. And neither would you. I'm not trying to believe in anything. I simply just don't want anything to do with people who can't get over the darker part of this world."
He kept a straight face and stood up.
"Then leave me the fuck alone and fend for yourself."
I didn't say anything; I just sat back down on the bed and watched my fingers twist in the bed sheet.
"Wait, Gerard?"
I heard him turn around.
"I'm sorry."
He breathed out and climbed into his bed.
"Goodnight Frank."
--
“Goddamn it Frank!”
“Daddy, I’m sorry, please don’t-“
--
-Gerard POV-
He tossed and turned violently whining and begging someone to please stop. I knew right then and there that he had an anxiety problem and post-traumatic stress disorder, or as everyone else calls it PTSD. I thought he had obsessive-compulsive disorder (or OCD) last night. He kept straightening the sheets, but I thought about it. If they threw everyone who had OCD in a mental hospital, they’d have at least fifteen mental hospitals. He must have been pretty bad if he ended up here. I sighed and began to feel bad for Frank. I thought about my first day here. I was eye-candy for every single one of these perverts. I sat next to him on the bed and pulled him into my arms. I remembered my childhood. Every time I had a horrible nightmare of some sort, my mother would pull me into her arms and rock me back and forth. I then remember my brother having to do that once. He pulled me close and sang me a peaceful song. I always felt guilty when I woke up in his arms crying. He was my younger brother; I should have been the one doing that to him. But Mikey knows I love him a lot. So I did what my mother did. I only did this because I felt bad for this kid. I mean, its not like anyone was going to get close to him and tell him he was okay. So I took the role that obviously wasn’t there for him before.
“Sh. Frank.”
I sighed and stepped out of the large white van. I swung my backpack over my shoulder and just wrinkled my nose at where I had to spend my time for the next six months. A mental hospital. For the mentally ill. Its not that I had anything against them, I mean, hell I was a mentally ill person myself. But, I thought it was a little screwed up that we had to be locked away, away from the rest of the word, in a “hospital” like prison. They pointed to the door and I rolled my eyes. I might have an illness, but I am not retarded. The doors slide open as my foot tapped on the black mat; I slowly stepped inside and waved to the lady behind the desk. She adjusted her glasses and just looked at me. I guess the people who work here hate their job just as much as the people who got trapped in this place. The tall man turned to me and looked down at me.
“Do you smoke?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“Would you like a de-toxic room or just get stuck in the smoker’s area?”
“Look, I don’t want to be here. The freedom of being able to smoke here is great. I’ll need it.”
He sighed and pointed to the left side of the hallway.
“Find a room and have a good day.”
I rubbed my chin and walked down the hallway on the left. As I swung the door open, I got a scent that made me feel wonderful. But the group I was in for was something I didn’t expect. The sound of guys laughing and poker chips falling filled the air. I walked down the hall until I hit the room where I large round table was set up. Five men sat around the table, all with cigarette in their mouths. One man had a smaller younger male sitting on his lap. I squinted and hoped that I wasn’t just imagining things. After trying to adjust my eyesight, the image didn’t disappear. I just shrugged and looked into the rooms. All filled up. So I walked farther in the room and smiled and held my hand up to the guys who grew quite and still. I nodded my head and kept walking.
“Looking for a room?”
“Yes, actually.”
“You’re going to want to go all the way down the hallway here and the last room on the right is open. It’s a two person room and one person is already in there.”
“Okay, uhm. Thank you.”
He smirked and winked at me.
“You’re welcome.”
I just blinked and sped up my walk to a slight jog. I’m not sure what hospital I ended up in. But I ended up in one I wasn’t exactly sure I was safe in. When I got to the room, it was silent. I looked around and noticed the large lump in the bed. I silently eased my way in the room and set my stuff down. I grabbed my cigarettes and my lighter and eased back out. I walked back to where I first stumbled into and sat down on the windowsill. I lit the cigarette looked at the guys playing poker. A small voice in my head told me that the minute they began strip poker, I was going to leave. I agreed with this voice and took a drag from the cigarette. When I looked out the window, I noticed the dark cloud that was lingering in the air. I chewed my lip and felt my chest get tight. I took a deep breath and looked at my watch. It read seven thirty-eight. I sighed and adjusted my hat, then crushed my bud and walked back to my room. I quickly changed, got my iPod and slipped into bed. I dozed off during ‘Scream’ by The Misfits.
Later that night, I woke up to the sound of a lighter being repeatedly flicked. I rubbed my eyes and rubbed my chest, which I had forgotten to put a shirt on. I rubbed my eyes again and looked at the figure that was standing by the windowsill. I sat up in my bed and seemed to make a lot of noise. But he didn’t turn around and look at me, let alone say hi or anything. I looked back down at my legs that were covered only by a pair of boxers. I quickly made a mental note to begin dressing in more attire so I wasn’t fondled in my sleep. After my eyesight adjusted to the darkness and I noticed the moon’s light, I saw him. I looked over at the bed next to me, and noticed that the lump that was there before was gone. I then figured, that the guy standing at the windowsill was the lump that was encased in blankets.
He lit his cigarette and placed it in his mouth. I looked up at him from my bed and sighed. The moonlight shone on his velvet black hair that was tangled. He looked out at the stars that glittered in the dark sky. He muttered something about their beauty. I looked down at my bed covers and fixed the wrinkle in the sheet. As I wrinkled my nose, I noticed that the silence between us making me uncomfortable. If we had to be roommates, I need to try and get to know this guy. At least, just a little bit. Other wise every night that I couldn't sleep and he was up, it would make me uncomfortable.
"Uhm."
He looked at me with a straight look on his face. But his lips read, "please say something." And his eyes looked welcoming to conversation. I fixed the sheet again and looked back up at him.
"So, why are you here?"
He took an extremely long drag from his cigarette. It lasted twenty-seven seconds, far as I counted. He cocked part of his lips open and let the smoke escape into a cloud above us. The way it slipped out of his mouth was so elegant, so...so graceful. Yet sensual and sexy. He looked out the window and sort of smiled at his reflection in the glass.
"Boy, I've seen and done things that you wouldn't believe."
"Firstly, I'm not a boy. Secondly, I would believe it."
"Well, kid, it would make you sick."
I blinked and wondered why he was calling me kid and boy. He wasn't clearly older than me.
"You know, you can call me Frank."
"And you can call me Gerard and explain to me why you're here."
"Honestly, I really don't know. I know I'm screwed up in the head, and that's all I've ever been told."
"We're all screwed up in the head Frank. Every single one of us."
He turned around and looked at me. He crushed his cigarette on the windowsill and flicked it out of the window. He sat down on the bed and sighed.
"Not all of us."
I twisted my fingers in the bed sheet, and then quickly fixed it.
"Yes Frank. All of us. If you want to believe that not all of us are fucked in the head, then believe it. But, I'm not going to live in that kind of fairy tale. Life doesn't have a happy ending, and fairy tales don't exist."
I then noticed how much of a negative man Gerard was. I stood up on the floor and flatted my imaginary shirt out. I looked him dead straight in the eyes.
"You might be right, okay? I know life doesn't have a happy ending, I don't need anyone to tell me that. I know fairy tales don't exist. If they did, I won't be here. And neither would you. I'm not trying to believe in anything. I simply just don't want anything to do with people who can't get over the darker part of this world."
He kept a straight face and stood up.
"Then leave me the fuck alone and fend for yourself."
I didn't say anything; I just sat back down on the bed and watched my fingers twist in the bed sheet.
"Wait, Gerard?"
I heard him turn around.
"I'm sorry."
He breathed out and climbed into his bed.
"Goodnight Frank."
--
“Goddamn it Frank!”
“Daddy, I’m sorry, please don’t-“
--
-Gerard POV-
He tossed and turned violently whining and begging someone to please stop. I knew right then and there that he had an anxiety problem and post-traumatic stress disorder, or as everyone else calls it PTSD. I thought he had obsessive-compulsive disorder (or OCD) last night. He kept straightening the sheets, but I thought about it. If they threw everyone who had OCD in a mental hospital, they’d have at least fifteen mental hospitals. He must have been pretty bad if he ended up here. I sighed and began to feel bad for Frank. I thought about my first day here. I was eye-candy for every single one of these perverts. I sat next to him on the bed and pulled him into my arms. I remembered my childhood. Every time I had a horrible nightmare of some sort, my mother would pull me into her arms and rock me back and forth. I then remember my brother having to do that once. He pulled me close and sang me a peaceful song. I always felt guilty when I woke up in his arms crying. He was my younger brother; I should have been the one doing that to him. But Mikey knows I love him a lot. So I did what my mother did. I only did this because I felt bad for this kid. I mean, its not like anyone was going to get close to him and tell him he was okay. So I took the role that obviously wasn’t there for him before.
“Sh. Frank.”
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