Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > The Patron Saint Of Liars And Fakes
The Patron Saint Of Liars And Fakes
My name is Alexis De Milo and I'm a world famous Burlesque star. My name is Alex Hurley and my family ignore me.
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“Lexi come on. Hurry the hell up, your on in 3” Alysia roared at me grabbing me and spinning me away from the mirrors and shoving my fans into my hands.
“Jesus Christ Lyss, I’m moving” I muttered before spinning back to the mirror once more and looking myself over. I couldn’t help but smirk cause I looked so good. I heard my music strike up as I strutted to the edge of the stage.
‘And now Ladies and Gentlemen introducing the stunning styling’s of the girl you all came here to see. Shes a pro in the Art of the Tease and she’ll leave you all gripping your seats and salivating for more. I give you Miss Alexis De Milo. There was a roar of noise as I stepped onto the stage concealed behind my huge feather fans.
My name is Alex Hurley. I know your thinking now, ‘Oh shes Andy’s sister’, well by name yes. By blood or by any family ties I’m not. I was born Alexandra Klassen. My dad done a runner when he found out my mom was pregnant. And then mom died when I was 12. Allergic reaction to a bee sting would you believe. So then I went to live with my mom’s best friend and her son Andy. And then I was a Hurley.
But right now, at this very moment I am Alexis De Milo, the biggest Burlesque star this side of the east coast. I was good at what I did. So good, people travelled for miles to see me perform in this tiny room in the basement of a dingy club. It was one of the first places I ever preformed so I came back for one night only. The room was packed. The people chanted my name, they all knew me and loved me for what I did. I was a world class entertainer. And I’m only 20.
My family knew nothing about my secret life. And I wasn’t going to tell them any time soon.
It’s not like my mother, for all intensive purposes, takes much notice of what I do anyway. I’m not blood so I don’t really count for much.
Andy, her shining light. The musician in the big band, travelling the world, millions love him. Her baby boy, her flesh and blood.
That asshole.
Well I can’t completely hate him; he did introduce me to Pete. My wonderful boyfriend Pete Wentz. But don’t tell anyone… People can’t know about us because y’know, he does have an image to uphold. I don’t mind keeping it a secret; I keep enough from everyone else. Not even Pete knows about my job. And that’s the way I like it.
As I twirled and pirouetted across the stage revealing more and more flesh but even less as I spun the fans around me, always covering at least 70% of my body. It’s all about the suspense. The crowd know this isn’t a strip show but they can’t help but hope and wish that I’d reveal that much more. I un-hooked the clasp of my rhinestone bra and dropped it on the ground next to me. The crowd loved every second of it and they loved it even more when I gave them the quickest peep of my nearly naked body. I turned my back to my audience and they went mad at the sight of my bare back wearing only a g-string at this stage. I slipped my mask on as I prepared for my finale where I lose the fans completely. My mask was part of my act, just so no-one would recognise me outside of here. It was a half mask, phantom of the opera style. Covered in Swarovski crystals. My most expensive prop.
As I peeked back over my shoulder my heart jumped into my throat and I tasted bile in the back of my mouth. They were here.
My brother and his band mates. My boyfriend was here, watching me and he didn’t even know it. He was here and he was…
NO.
This can’t be happening to me. He is NOT cheating on ME. I’m Alexis De Milo. Hes lucky to have me and hes here with some cheap bitch hanging off his arm and hes just lapping up all her attention. Hes not even properly watching my show. My blood is boiling. And then I see him cup her face and whisper something in her ear and then lay a trail of kisses all along her jaw before kissing her deeply. They’re clearly VERY familiar with each other as my eyes travel down that bitches arm to her hand, cupped around Pete’s crotch. I watch as she gives him a squeeze as she whispers in his ear. He grins at her and then turns to Joe and whispers in his ear. Joe gestures towards the stage as if to say ‘But the shows still on’. I watch as Pete shrugs before he looks back at the stage, right into my eyes as I glare at him. I turn back to the crowd as I come to my big finale, my eyes still locked on Pete. I flashed my most brilliant smile as I flash the crowd one more time, my red diamanté pasties reflecting the spotlights. I watched as Petes eyes roamed over my exposed body before his eyes rounded like saucers as he focused on the birthmark on my inner thigh. I gave him a slight nod before I bowed to my screaming audience and blew kisses as I strutted off the stage wearing only a pair or Christian Louboutin heels, a g-string and nipple pasties covering my modesty.
Pete was gonna regret ever playing away from home.
“Jesus Christ Lyss, I’m moving” I muttered before spinning back to the mirror once more and looking myself over. I couldn’t help but smirk cause I looked so good. I heard my music strike up as I strutted to the edge of the stage.
‘And now Ladies and Gentlemen introducing the stunning styling’s of the girl you all came here to see. Shes a pro in the Art of the Tease and she’ll leave you all gripping your seats and salivating for more. I give you Miss Alexis De Milo. There was a roar of noise as I stepped onto the stage concealed behind my huge feather fans.
My name is Alex Hurley. I know your thinking now, ‘Oh shes Andy’s sister’, well by name yes. By blood or by any family ties I’m not. I was born Alexandra Klassen. My dad done a runner when he found out my mom was pregnant. And then mom died when I was 12. Allergic reaction to a bee sting would you believe. So then I went to live with my mom’s best friend and her son Andy. And then I was a Hurley.
But right now, at this very moment I am Alexis De Milo, the biggest Burlesque star this side of the east coast. I was good at what I did. So good, people travelled for miles to see me perform in this tiny room in the basement of a dingy club. It was one of the first places I ever preformed so I came back for one night only. The room was packed. The people chanted my name, they all knew me and loved me for what I did. I was a world class entertainer. And I’m only 20.
My family knew nothing about my secret life. And I wasn’t going to tell them any time soon.
It’s not like my mother, for all intensive purposes, takes much notice of what I do anyway. I’m not blood so I don’t really count for much.
Andy, her shining light. The musician in the big band, travelling the world, millions love him. Her baby boy, her flesh and blood.
That asshole.
Well I can’t completely hate him; he did introduce me to Pete. My wonderful boyfriend Pete Wentz. But don’t tell anyone… People can’t know about us because y’know, he does have an image to uphold. I don’t mind keeping it a secret; I keep enough from everyone else. Not even Pete knows about my job. And that’s the way I like it.
As I twirled and pirouetted across the stage revealing more and more flesh but even less as I spun the fans around me, always covering at least 70% of my body. It’s all about the suspense. The crowd know this isn’t a strip show but they can’t help but hope and wish that I’d reveal that much more. I un-hooked the clasp of my rhinestone bra and dropped it on the ground next to me. The crowd loved every second of it and they loved it even more when I gave them the quickest peep of my nearly naked body. I turned my back to my audience and they went mad at the sight of my bare back wearing only a g-string at this stage. I slipped my mask on as I prepared for my finale where I lose the fans completely. My mask was part of my act, just so no-one would recognise me outside of here. It was a half mask, phantom of the opera style. Covered in Swarovski crystals. My most expensive prop.
As I peeked back over my shoulder my heart jumped into my throat and I tasted bile in the back of my mouth. They were here.
My brother and his band mates. My boyfriend was here, watching me and he didn’t even know it. He was here and he was…
NO.
This can’t be happening to me. He is NOT cheating on ME. I’m Alexis De Milo. Hes lucky to have me and hes here with some cheap bitch hanging off his arm and hes just lapping up all her attention. Hes not even properly watching my show. My blood is boiling. And then I see him cup her face and whisper something in her ear and then lay a trail of kisses all along her jaw before kissing her deeply. They’re clearly VERY familiar with each other as my eyes travel down that bitches arm to her hand, cupped around Pete’s crotch. I watch as she gives him a squeeze as she whispers in his ear. He grins at her and then turns to Joe and whispers in his ear. Joe gestures towards the stage as if to say ‘But the shows still on’. I watch as Pete shrugs before he looks back at the stage, right into my eyes as I glare at him. I turn back to the crowd as I come to my big finale, my eyes still locked on Pete. I flashed my most brilliant smile as I flash the crowd one more time, my red diamanté pasties reflecting the spotlights. I watched as Petes eyes roamed over my exposed body before his eyes rounded like saucers as he focused on the birthmark on my inner thigh. I gave him a slight nod before I bowed to my screaming audience and blew kisses as I strutted off the stage wearing only a pair or Christian Louboutin heels, a g-string and nipple pasties covering my modesty.
Pete was gonna regret ever playing away from home.
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