Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance
I loved writing the other two so much, I decide to make it into a trilogy!
Haury Jovich was currently hiding under his dressing room table, pretty much terrified out of his mind. Why, I hear you ask? Well, his personal assistant Laura, with whom he had been having an affair, had turned out to be the biggest psychopath he had ever had the misfortune to meet. Oh, it had all been going so well for him. He had finalized his divorce from his first wife, his former P.A, Janie had admitted there was no way he could be the father of her unborn child, as she had been sleeping with at least seven other guys around the time the baby was conceived, and Laura had easily surrendered herself to Haury when he turned on the old charm. Maybe a little too easily.
He grew tired of her when he discovered she was as clingy as a leech, and dumped her by text. She showed up to work the next day, burst into his dressing room and threatened to tell the world explicit details of their sordid affair if he ended it. Apparently, the crazy ass bitch had pictures, though how she had managed that was beyond Haury. He was very aware how this scandal could finish his career so he decided to continue the "relationship". Well, until he could figure out a way to get rid of the Single White Female.
He heard the door open and knew she had entered the room. He lay very still, not even daring to breath but it was no use. The maniac seemed to have some sort of sixth sense.
"Haury?" She said, "I know you're under the table. I can see you," She folded her arms in annoyance.
"Oh! There it is!" Haury exclaimed as he very reluctantly got out from under his hiding place. He showed her the coin he had just hastily picked out of his pocket, "I've been looking for this all over the place! It's my lucky charm," He lied.
She rolled the big, green eyes he used to find beautiful. Now they were just plain scary. "Whatever. You have to be out there in five," She planted a kiss on his lips and was gone.
He sighed and looked at his haggard reflection in the mirror. Maybe he could hire a Hitman? This was America after all. He was filthy rich. He could do, and get away with anything he wanted. He shook his head, he would think about it later, right now he had a show to do.
*
"Hello everyone. Welcome to the show! Today's topic is "Who's the baby daddy?" The woman on today's show are thoroughly confused about the identity of their children's father. That's where we come in," He paused as the audience whooped and jeered, "Our first guest is a woman from New Jersey named Sara. I'd tell you her story myself, but it is so explosive, I'm gonna let her tell you herself. Come on out Sara!" Everyone cheered as a slim woman with long blond hair appeared. She had a soft, childish face with big baby blue eyes and dark pink lips that were currently fixed in a pout. She sat down on her chair and immediately started to bawl her eyes out.
Haury handed her a tissue, "Why don't you tell us what's bothering you, Sara?" He asked kindly.
"Well," She sobbed. "It all started about a year and a half ago. I was dating a wonderful guy named Mikey and it was going great. Then we started arguing, you know, over who gets to use the hair straightener, the eye-liner, little things like that. The next thing you know, his older brother Gerard has shamelessly seduced me in the back of his Mustang, and I find out I'm knocked up!" The audience gasped.
"Surely there's no way a smart girl like you can be seduced by a scoundrel like Gerard, who we all know a little too well now," He asked in mock surprise.
"I know. I thought I was an independent woman!" She cried. The woman in the crowd shook their heads in disappointment.
"What happened?" Asked Haury sympathetically.
"I was walking down the street when I heard a car pull up beside me. I looked around and saw it was Gerard. It was raining really badly and I was soaked through." She explained, "He asked me if he could give me a ride. I thought he was talking about the car!" She wailed as the men in the audience laughed their asses off.
It took Haury every ounce of professionalism not to join them. "What exactly did he do?" He asked instead.
"Well, I got into his car and it all seemed nice and normal. Then I felt his hand on my thigh, I looked up at him and he gave me one of those smirks. The next thing I know, we're getting busy in the back seat," She looked at Haury wide-eyed. "It wasn't my fault. He took advantage of me!" She insisted.
"He didn't exactly pull a gun out, now did he?" Haury remarked.
"Nope. Not a gun," Sara giggled, rather naughtily.
Haury smiled at the saucy comment. "Okay, then what happened?"
"I confessed everything to Mikey, he broke up with me and burnt some of Gerard's comics in revenge. Then I discovered I was with child. The problem is I don't know whether the baby is Mikey's or Gerard's," She said.
"Could it be anyone else's?" Haury pondered aloud.
"No, no, no. I only slept with the two brothers," She insisted.
"So you're left holding the baby. And what a beautiful baby she is!" The audience squealed with delight as a shot of Sara's angelic daughter was screened to them. The little girl gurgled happily and even attempted to shove her tiny fist in her mouth.
"Isn't she lovely? What's her name Sara?"
"Her name is Amy-lee and she is my whole world but she needs her father in her life!" Said Sara unhappily.
"Okay. Leave that to me. Now it's time to see what Mikey and Gerard have got to say on the matter. Give them a big round of applause guys!" Urged Haury as the two disgruntled looking brothers walked out from backstage. They took a seat next to Sara, Mikey nodded his head in acknowledgment and Gerard completely ignored her. Haury was quick to pick up on this.
"Why are you being so rude to her, Gerard?" He asked severely.
"Cause she's a no good whore who's slept with half of New Jersey," Gerard stated in a bored tone.
"How dare you!" Sara shouted at him, "I'm not a whore! You on the other hand..."
"Up yours, slut!" He yelled.
"Calm down Gee. And you too Sara," Mikey pleaded, looking at both of them. Gerard immediately calmed down.
"What is you're opinion on the matter, Mikey?" Asked Haury.
"I honestly don't know what to think," He said. "It could be anyone's kid," He shook his head sadly.
"She has a name Mikey. It's Amy-lee," Sara snapped.
"Whatever. I still don't believe me or Gerard are the fathers," Mikey gave her dirty look. "How do we know you didn't sleep with anybody else?"
"That's what I've been saying all along," Sniffed Gerard.
"Well, you can talk about sleeping with other people Gerard," She sniped.
"Excuse me sister. I'm not the one who got knocked up with no idea who the baby daddy is," Gerard said nastily.
"I hope it's not you," She retaliated.
"So do I!" He snarled.
"Guys, calm down. Lets be adult about this, okay?" Haury said, holding up his hands in a placating manner.
"Tell the slut to keep her mouth shut," Gerard growled darkly.
"Oh, I totally regret sleeping with you," She said folding her arms across her chest angrily.
"How do you think I feel? I don't know what I was thinking," Gerard said regretfully.
"Well son, you weren't''t thinking with you're brain now, were you?" Haury added with a sly wink.
"It wasn't even that great," She sneered.
"Really? Then what was all that screaming then?" He asked her with a smirk. The audience burst into laughter and even Mikey chuckled.
Sara gave him the dirtiest look she could muster but fell silent. Haury took the opportunity to add more fuel to the fire. "Mikey, my man! How do you feel about you're older brother knocking boots with you're girl?"
"It hurt, but Gerard is my brother. He made a mistake and I forgave him,"
"Not before sleeping with Frank a few dozen times," Haury reminded him craftily.
"Can we not go into that?" Gerard asked stiffly.
"Still a sore point?" Asked Haury.
"We're working on it," Said Mikey.
"How is Frank doing?" Haury wanted to know.
"He's great," Replied Gerard. "He wanted to come but I thought it was better if he stayed at home as he was threatening to rip her extensions out," Gerard jerked his thumb in Sara's direction.
"Oh please. I could take that shrimp any day," She declared.
"Now, now. There will be one of that. This isn't the Terry Bringer Show," Haury said and everyone laughed, lifting the mood immediately. "Okay. Now let's get down to business. The two brothers have taken a DNA test and I have the results right here," He held out a brown envelope and the audience fell silent. "Before I read out the results, I have to know. If one of you turns out to be the father of little Amy-lee, will you be there for her?"
"Yes," Mikey replied sincerely.
Everyone turned to stare at Gerard who scowled. "Yeah, I will. But I'm telling you. The girls a ho,"
"Fuck you, Gerard Way!" Sara shouted.
"You did, and I regret it everyday" He shouted back.
"ENOUGH!" Haury yelled. "Let's get this thing over with," He slowly pulled out the A4 sheet of paper that could change their lives forever and peered down at the results.
"Mikey. When it comes to Amy-lee, you are NOT the father1" Haury declared.
"No!" Sara cried in anguish.
"Shit!" Gerard shouted, in obvious distress. Mikey rubbed him gently on the back.
"Gerard. When it comes to Amy-lee, you are...." Haury paused dramatically. "NOT the father!"
"I knew it. I told you the girls a no good hussy!" Gerard yelled as Sara ran off sobbing from the stage. Haury and Mikey ran after her to console her.
Gerard sat slumped in his chair looking both relieved and amused at the turn of events. He pulled out a cigarette and started smoking. The audience were not impressed with his cavalier behavior. They expressed their feelings by cussing him out, and in one woman's case, by throwing a shiny gold stiletto at him.
"For fucks sake. Get a life you assholes!" He said, as it missed his head by mere inches. "Who threw this?" He demanded, as he picked it up.
"I did, jerk!" Cried a pretty brunette in the second row.
Gerard looked her up and down. "Why don't you throw yourself at me instead of your shoe, sugar?" He smirked at her and she blushed.
"Down boy!" Said a stern voice from behind them. Gerard turned to see Haury standing with his arms folded giving him a reproachful look. Let's hope Frank isn't watching this episode,"
"Oh shit," Murmured Gerard.
Sara and Mikey reappeared and took a seat, Haury and Gerard followed suit. "While we were backstage, Sara confessed there is another man who she may have ahem, had relations with. We will find that guy and bring him onto the show to do another DNA test," Everyone clapped enthusiastically. "What do you have to say to the two brothers, Sara?"
"I'm so sorry. Please will you forgive me?" She sniffled.
"Of course, Sara. I forgive you," Mikey hugged her tightly.
Gerard sighed. "Yeah. I do too," And patted her hand absentmindedly.
"Excellent! Now you can all move on with you're lives and for the love of all that is great, please do not come back onto this show," Haury said, only half jokingly.
As the two brothers made their exit, a thought occurred to Haury. Maybe he did need Gerard for something. It was obvious he had some sort of power over both males and females. Maybe he could help him out with his crazy girlfriend? After considering it for awhile he decided against it. That was some drama he didn't need in his life. Both Gerard and Laura were insane, if he brought them together who knew what chaos they would rustle up. Maybe the Hitman would have to do after all...
Rate and Review please....xx
Haury Jovich was currently hiding under his dressing room table, pretty much terrified out of his mind. Why, I hear you ask? Well, his personal assistant Laura, with whom he had been having an affair, had turned out to be the biggest psychopath he had ever had the misfortune to meet. Oh, it had all been going so well for him. He had finalized his divorce from his first wife, his former P.A, Janie had admitted there was no way he could be the father of her unborn child, as she had been sleeping with at least seven other guys around the time the baby was conceived, and Laura had easily surrendered herself to Haury when he turned on the old charm. Maybe a little too easily.
He grew tired of her when he discovered she was as clingy as a leech, and dumped her by text. She showed up to work the next day, burst into his dressing room and threatened to tell the world explicit details of their sordid affair if he ended it. Apparently, the crazy ass bitch had pictures, though how she had managed that was beyond Haury. He was very aware how this scandal could finish his career so he decided to continue the "relationship". Well, until he could figure out a way to get rid of the Single White Female.
He heard the door open and knew she had entered the room. He lay very still, not even daring to breath but it was no use. The maniac seemed to have some sort of sixth sense.
"Haury?" She said, "I know you're under the table. I can see you," She folded her arms in annoyance.
"Oh! There it is!" Haury exclaimed as he very reluctantly got out from under his hiding place. He showed her the coin he had just hastily picked out of his pocket, "I've been looking for this all over the place! It's my lucky charm," He lied.
She rolled the big, green eyes he used to find beautiful. Now they were just plain scary. "Whatever. You have to be out there in five," She planted a kiss on his lips and was gone.
He sighed and looked at his haggard reflection in the mirror. Maybe he could hire a Hitman? This was America after all. He was filthy rich. He could do, and get away with anything he wanted. He shook his head, he would think about it later, right now he had a show to do.
*
"Hello everyone. Welcome to the show! Today's topic is "Who's the baby daddy?" The woman on today's show are thoroughly confused about the identity of their children's father. That's where we come in," He paused as the audience whooped and jeered, "Our first guest is a woman from New Jersey named Sara. I'd tell you her story myself, but it is so explosive, I'm gonna let her tell you herself. Come on out Sara!" Everyone cheered as a slim woman with long blond hair appeared. She had a soft, childish face with big baby blue eyes and dark pink lips that were currently fixed in a pout. She sat down on her chair and immediately started to bawl her eyes out.
Haury handed her a tissue, "Why don't you tell us what's bothering you, Sara?" He asked kindly.
"Well," She sobbed. "It all started about a year and a half ago. I was dating a wonderful guy named Mikey and it was going great. Then we started arguing, you know, over who gets to use the hair straightener, the eye-liner, little things like that. The next thing you know, his older brother Gerard has shamelessly seduced me in the back of his Mustang, and I find out I'm knocked up!" The audience gasped.
"Surely there's no way a smart girl like you can be seduced by a scoundrel like Gerard, who we all know a little too well now," He asked in mock surprise.
"I know. I thought I was an independent woman!" She cried. The woman in the crowd shook their heads in disappointment.
"What happened?" Asked Haury sympathetically.
"I was walking down the street when I heard a car pull up beside me. I looked around and saw it was Gerard. It was raining really badly and I was soaked through." She explained, "He asked me if he could give me a ride. I thought he was talking about the car!" She wailed as the men in the audience laughed their asses off.
It took Haury every ounce of professionalism not to join them. "What exactly did he do?" He asked instead.
"Well, I got into his car and it all seemed nice and normal. Then I felt his hand on my thigh, I looked up at him and he gave me one of those smirks. The next thing I know, we're getting busy in the back seat," She looked at Haury wide-eyed. "It wasn't my fault. He took advantage of me!" She insisted.
"He didn't exactly pull a gun out, now did he?" Haury remarked.
"Nope. Not a gun," Sara giggled, rather naughtily.
Haury smiled at the saucy comment. "Okay, then what happened?"
"I confessed everything to Mikey, he broke up with me and burnt some of Gerard's comics in revenge. Then I discovered I was with child. The problem is I don't know whether the baby is Mikey's or Gerard's," She said.
"Could it be anyone else's?" Haury pondered aloud.
"No, no, no. I only slept with the two brothers," She insisted.
"So you're left holding the baby. And what a beautiful baby she is!" The audience squealed with delight as a shot of Sara's angelic daughter was screened to them. The little girl gurgled happily and even attempted to shove her tiny fist in her mouth.
"Isn't she lovely? What's her name Sara?"
"Her name is Amy-lee and she is my whole world but she needs her father in her life!" Said Sara unhappily.
"Okay. Leave that to me. Now it's time to see what Mikey and Gerard have got to say on the matter. Give them a big round of applause guys!" Urged Haury as the two disgruntled looking brothers walked out from backstage. They took a seat next to Sara, Mikey nodded his head in acknowledgment and Gerard completely ignored her. Haury was quick to pick up on this.
"Why are you being so rude to her, Gerard?" He asked severely.
"Cause she's a no good whore who's slept with half of New Jersey," Gerard stated in a bored tone.
"How dare you!" Sara shouted at him, "I'm not a whore! You on the other hand..."
"Up yours, slut!" He yelled.
"Calm down Gee. And you too Sara," Mikey pleaded, looking at both of them. Gerard immediately calmed down.
"What is you're opinion on the matter, Mikey?" Asked Haury.
"I honestly don't know what to think," He said. "It could be anyone's kid," He shook his head sadly.
"She has a name Mikey. It's Amy-lee," Sara snapped.
"Whatever. I still don't believe me or Gerard are the fathers," Mikey gave her dirty look. "How do we know you didn't sleep with anybody else?"
"That's what I've been saying all along," Sniffed Gerard.
"Well, you can talk about sleeping with other people Gerard," She sniped.
"Excuse me sister. I'm not the one who got knocked up with no idea who the baby daddy is," Gerard said nastily.
"I hope it's not you," She retaliated.
"So do I!" He snarled.
"Guys, calm down. Lets be adult about this, okay?" Haury said, holding up his hands in a placating manner.
"Tell the slut to keep her mouth shut," Gerard growled darkly.
"Oh, I totally regret sleeping with you," She said folding her arms across her chest angrily.
"How do you think I feel? I don't know what I was thinking," Gerard said regretfully.
"Well son, you weren't''t thinking with you're brain now, were you?" Haury added with a sly wink.
"It wasn't even that great," She sneered.
"Really? Then what was all that screaming then?" He asked her with a smirk. The audience burst into laughter and even Mikey chuckled.
Sara gave him the dirtiest look she could muster but fell silent. Haury took the opportunity to add more fuel to the fire. "Mikey, my man! How do you feel about you're older brother knocking boots with you're girl?"
"It hurt, but Gerard is my brother. He made a mistake and I forgave him,"
"Not before sleeping with Frank a few dozen times," Haury reminded him craftily.
"Can we not go into that?" Gerard asked stiffly.
"Still a sore point?" Asked Haury.
"We're working on it," Said Mikey.
"How is Frank doing?" Haury wanted to know.
"He's great," Replied Gerard. "He wanted to come but I thought it was better if he stayed at home as he was threatening to rip her extensions out," Gerard jerked his thumb in Sara's direction.
"Oh please. I could take that shrimp any day," She declared.
"Now, now. There will be one of that. This isn't the Terry Bringer Show," Haury said and everyone laughed, lifting the mood immediately. "Okay. Now let's get down to business. The two brothers have taken a DNA test and I have the results right here," He held out a brown envelope and the audience fell silent. "Before I read out the results, I have to know. If one of you turns out to be the father of little Amy-lee, will you be there for her?"
"Yes," Mikey replied sincerely.
Everyone turned to stare at Gerard who scowled. "Yeah, I will. But I'm telling you. The girls a ho,"
"Fuck you, Gerard Way!" Sara shouted.
"You did, and I regret it everyday" He shouted back.
"ENOUGH!" Haury yelled. "Let's get this thing over with," He slowly pulled out the A4 sheet of paper that could change their lives forever and peered down at the results.
"Mikey. When it comes to Amy-lee, you are NOT the father1" Haury declared.
"No!" Sara cried in anguish.
"Shit!" Gerard shouted, in obvious distress. Mikey rubbed him gently on the back.
"Gerard. When it comes to Amy-lee, you are...." Haury paused dramatically. "NOT the father!"
"I knew it. I told you the girls a no good hussy!" Gerard yelled as Sara ran off sobbing from the stage. Haury and Mikey ran after her to console her.
Gerard sat slumped in his chair looking both relieved and amused at the turn of events. He pulled out a cigarette and started smoking. The audience were not impressed with his cavalier behavior. They expressed their feelings by cussing him out, and in one woman's case, by throwing a shiny gold stiletto at him.
"For fucks sake. Get a life you assholes!" He said, as it missed his head by mere inches. "Who threw this?" He demanded, as he picked it up.
"I did, jerk!" Cried a pretty brunette in the second row.
Gerard looked her up and down. "Why don't you throw yourself at me instead of your shoe, sugar?" He smirked at her and she blushed.
"Down boy!" Said a stern voice from behind them. Gerard turned to see Haury standing with his arms folded giving him a reproachful look. Let's hope Frank isn't watching this episode,"
"Oh shit," Murmured Gerard.
Sara and Mikey reappeared and took a seat, Haury and Gerard followed suit. "While we were backstage, Sara confessed there is another man who she may have ahem, had relations with. We will find that guy and bring him onto the show to do another DNA test," Everyone clapped enthusiastically. "What do you have to say to the two brothers, Sara?"
"I'm so sorry. Please will you forgive me?" She sniffled.
"Of course, Sara. I forgive you," Mikey hugged her tightly.
Gerard sighed. "Yeah. I do too," And patted her hand absentmindedly.
"Excellent! Now you can all move on with you're lives and for the love of all that is great, please do not come back onto this show," Haury said, only half jokingly.
As the two brothers made their exit, a thought occurred to Haury. Maybe he did need Gerard for something. It was obvious he had some sort of power over both males and females. Maybe he could help him out with his crazy girlfriend? After considering it for awhile he decided against it. That was some drama he didn't need in his life. Both Gerard and Laura were insane, if he brought them together who knew what chaos they would rustle up. Maybe the Hitman would have to do after all...
Rate and Review please....xx
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