Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > The End Is Only The Beginning
There were only a few minutes left in class. Mr. R gave up trying to teach and kids were starting to line up by the door. I was asking Ray if he could please please please cover for me with Gerard at lunch when the bell rang. Ray didn't know why it was such a big deal to me but he agreed to.
I stopped in the bathroom and snorted some coke off my compact mirror. I know I shouldn’t have but the thought of talking to Paul was stressing me out. I splashed some water in my face and made my way to the cafeteria. Paul was sitting with his usual crew of morons in the back. He saw me and waved me over. I guess he wanted to me come sit with him. Yeah, uh thats not gonna happen. I stand in the aisle shaking my head at him...He gets up and comes towards me.
"What’s the matter babe?" He asks. The fucked up part is that he's serious. ”Come sit down." He says grinning again. I shake my head again. "All right so you want to sit alone then huh?" he mutters and walks over to a table a few feet away. There are these two quiet looking guys sitting eating their lunch at a table all alone. Most likely freshmen. He walks up to the table and slams his hands so hard down on it that it shakes. "You got about two seconds to move losers." He tells them. They start to get up.
"No don’t get up." I yell at the one kid. He looks at me then at Paul. "Dont fucking look at him." I snap. "Sit back down..now..both of you!." I tell them and they do. The one kid looks terrified. I put my bag onto the table. And lean my crutch against the bench.
Paul turns to me "What the fuck Elle..you wanna be alone..now you dont.."he throws his hands up in the air. Were standing at the head of the table. I look back at the two petrified freshmen gripping their lunch trays and I realize something. Paul is a bully....I dont know why its hitting me so hard now...but yes..he is a bully. He bullied me into coming here and hes gonna keep doing it...It was strange being so fucked up and seeing so clearly.
"Sit down Paul" I tell him softly. This is gonna end..now..
He sits next to un-named kid one. I think Ill call him Larry. He looks like a Larry. Well Larry looks uncomfortable. Is it because I'm staring at him or is it because Paul is cracking his knuckles again? I sit next to kid two. I decide he should be named Larry two.. Larry 2 moves a little to his left.
"Oh don’t mind us..Just keep eating." I say to Larry 2. Paul looks at me.
"Elle I know you’re pissed at me." he says reaching for my hand. Larry 1 looks over. Paul glares at him. Well, Larry 1 must have decided that his lunch was very interesting because he stared down and didn't look up again. Larry 2 took a drink of milk.
"Okay Paul..lets just cut the shit..Im not gonna let you fuck me." I say. Larry 2 chokes on his milk. Paul let go of my hand and leant back. He stretched his arms and put them behind his head. He smirked at me.
"No I'm serious Paul..Im not just gonna let you keep fucking me over." I said very seriously. Paul leant back forward. I think maybe he believed me.
"So whatcha gonna do Elle?" He said arrogantly.
"I'm not gonna do anything." I said folding my arms. Paul grinned. "You’re just gonna leave me alone from now on." I told him.
"And I'll do that because..." he was smirking at me.
I lean over and whisper.."come on Paul..we were together for soooo long..I know all your secrets.."
He laughed. "Well that may be true but come on Elle..its not like you haven’t.."
"Haven’t what?" I interrupted. "you’re right I’ve done a lot of shit but I dont give a fuck if anyone finds out..do you?"
Paul is frowning. "You’re fucking bluffing Elle." He mumbles.
"Bluffing..no I think not.." I smile and turn to poor Larry 2. "Hey uh Larry..you dont mind if I call you Larry do you?" I ask him. He shakes his head. "well Larry let me tell you about this time last winter when uh Paul and Pete Ontellio and I were at Pete’s house and we were getting freaky on his dads pool table and Paul took the ---"
Paul slams his hands down interrupting me. "Damn it Elle." Now I'm smirking at him.
"Well then maybe they want ta hear about the time you slipped a ruffie in Howies girlfriends drink and then---"
Paul cut me off again. "All right Elle." He sighs. "You wanna truce..youve got it" hes shaking his head.
Ah victory! If I know Paul..which I obviously do... he means it....his reputation is the most important thing to him...
He stands up…"Damn you’re such a bitch...I'm gonna miss you.." He whispers to me and leans over and kisses my cheek. I watch him walk away out of the corner of my eye..wait whats that..Oh fuck.Its Gerard.. standing in the doorway and hes glaring at me....
Oh fuck. Gerard was standing by the doorway watching Paul walk away. He looks pissed. Probably cause Paul just kissed my cheek. Damn it. "Hey Larry." I say. Larry# 2 doesn’t answer. " Larry number 2 .."I say again and nudge him."Helloooo?"
Larry 2 says "Huh" and looks at me wide eyed.
"Hey you see that guy by the door." I point to Gerard who is kicking his boot against the doorway.. Larry 2 shakes his head yes.."Can you go over and tell him to come here...please.." I ask him as sweetly as I can. Larry 2 is looking at me like I'm nuts. "aw come on man." I beg. Larry 1 looks over at Gerard.
"The guy in all black!" Larry1 cries out. Gerard is starting to walk away.
"Fuck please Larrys! just go get him!! " Larry 1 starts to get up.
"I'll try" he says.
"Fuck Larry I swear to god if you dont come back with him I'll scream...." Larry#1 runs after Gerard. Larry 2 tries to inconspicuously slide a little further away from me on the bench. I watch as Larry number one is talking to Gerard.
That a boy Larry!! Gerard follows him back.
'So uh..this is why you stood me up?" He says looking down at me.
"Huh?" I say.
"To have lunch with 'him'?" Gerard says emphasizing 'him' I shake my head.
"Let me explain..." I try to say but he cuts me off
"Explain...no, no Elle...I dont need to hear". He says taking a step backwards.
"That's not what happened." a voice said. I look over. Its Larry number 3...Wait a minute Larry 3? where the fuck did he come from? "Just give her a chance man." He says opening a bag of chips and munching on them. He leans forward like hes fucking watching TV. Gee I'm so glad my life is so fucking amusing to you Larry number 3.... I decide right there that I dont like Larry 3.
Gerard sighs. He looks at me. I try to mimic Paul’s signature puppy dog eyes. He looks at the 3 larrys. Then he sits. He takes my hands in his and says "All right but this better be good Elle...”
Turns out Larry 1 was really named Steve. I wanted to keep calling him Larry but Gerard said that would be rude..He wanted to know what exactly I had on Paul but I told him that would be ruder. Lar-I mean Steve walked me to English class..turns out he was a pretty cool guy. When I got to class Jeff was waiting for me.
"What’d ya say to Paul?" He asked me as I sat down. I started shuffling my papers on the desk.
"What did he say I said?" I asked without looking up
"He didn't...uh.. He just said to leave you alone." Jeff said. I look up. Jeff is talking to me but his eyes are fixated on my chest. I lean my face down into Jeff’s line of vision.
"Well then maybe you should." I whisper. Jeff’s eyes lock with mine and he blushes slightly and walks away. Bastard. I mumble to myself as he walks away. The teacher puts on the overhead projector. It’s a writing assignment or some shit..
Everyone starts writing. I rub my eyes. Ok what does that say...aw man..youre on a deserted island..blah blah blah. write a paragraph about what one item you would bring. Who the fuck cares! A deserted island!! Come on the fucking chances of that.. I mean this lady must be on more shit then I am...
All right well everyone else in class is already writing... Focus Elle...you gotta pass at least one goddamn class this year...I take a deep breath and start writing.
The English teacher Mrs. Leanords turns on the lights and flips the projector off. She wants to discuss what we wrote.Who would like to go first she calls out. I look down. There's no fucking way I'm reading this to the class. Its barely legible. "How about you Dave?" she says. Dave? I look across the room. Oh fuck its Mister 'Dave/Eric Derreck' from math class. I didn't know he was in this class too. I sink down in my chair.
The prick stands up "Yeah uh ..if I was on a deserted island I would like to bring Elle Waller with me." He says.What the fuck did he just say? Everyone turns to me. I just shook my head.
"Uh well ok Dave..tell us why you chose Elle." Mrs. Leanords says.
"Uh cause I hear she’s alotta fun at parties!" Dave says smiling. I gasped. A few kids laugh. Jeff was trying not smile.
Mrs.Leanords is confused. "Ok ok settle down now..." she says trying to regain control over the class. My mind is totally blank. He did not just say that... "Elle? uh why dont you go next" she says. Everyone who wasn’t already looking at me now is. "Come on stand up Elle." she insists.
"Well..If I was stuck on deserted island with him I'd bring a knife and slit my fucking throat!" I say loudly.
"Elle!" Mrs. Leonards gasps. "That language is not acceptable!"
I shrug. The class is in an uproar. Mrs.Leanords flicks the lights on and off until it gets quiet again.
"Now Elle. Why dont you just read us what you wrote." Mrs. Leanords sighs and picks up her pen and grade book. I felt bad for her. She really was trying to keep control.
"Fine..I wrote.." I pick up my paper and start to read 'If I was on a deserted island I would bring a boat.' "
The class starts laughing again. Mrs.Leanords tosses her pen onto her desk and folds her arms. Fuck. Looks like I'm gonna be failing this class too...
As the bell rings I grab Jeff’s arm. I nod towards 'Derreck'. "So uh you gonna do anything about that?" I ask him roughly
He shrugs. "Like what?" He says trying to blow me off. Oh hell no!
"You tell Paul that hes gotta take care of it....or I will." I say picking up my bag. Jeff sighs and walks out.
I made my way to art. As soon as I walked in Gerard could tell something was wrong. I didn't want to tell him but he kept insisting. I told him everything that happened in class as we drew. The worst part was that I was pretty sure 'Derreck' had told Mikey something. I mean he heard everything we said in study hall. Gerard said he'd handle Mikey.
As Gerard walked me to the library he said he'd take care of 'Derreck' too. If I wanted of course.
"No come on Gerard...I can handle myself.." I said as we walked passed the nurses office.
"Holy shit" Gerard said and he stopped walking. He was looking in the nurse’s open door. I peek in. There with a black eye and ice pack on his lip sat 'Derreck'. I smiled. God damn Paul.He was so predictable. I tug on Gerard to keep walking before 'Derreck' sees us.
"What the fuck do have on him Elle?" He asks slipping his hand around my waist.
"mmm..cant tell you.." I say pulling away. Were just feet from the library.
"Come on." He insists
"No...I’m good at keeping secrets" I say pretending to zip my lip shut. He smiles. God I love his smile....
He leans in and whispers in my ear "Well maybe I'll come over after school and we can make some secrets of our own.." I can feel his breath on my ear. Its driving me crazy...Just then Frankie comes running up the hall and pushes his way in between us. Putting one arm around me and his other around Gerard.
"Elle my love!" he cries and kisses my cheek. Gerard groans. "Aw dont feel bad I love you too Gee." he says and kisses Gerard’s cheek.
"Aw fuck you." Gerard says pushing him off. The bitch librarian appears again with her arms crossed.
"I don’t think she likes us" I whisper to Frankie as we head to our seats. I look over my shoulder. She's giving us the evil eye...no I dont think she likes us at all.......
I stopped in the bathroom and snorted some coke off my compact mirror. I know I shouldn’t have but the thought of talking to Paul was stressing me out. I splashed some water in my face and made my way to the cafeteria. Paul was sitting with his usual crew of morons in the back. He saw me and waved me over. I guess he wanted to me come sit with him. Yeah, uh thats not gonna happen. I stand in the aisle shaking my head at him...He gets up and comes towards me.
"What’s the matter babe?" He asks. The fucked up part is that he's serious. ”Come sit down." He says grinning again. I shake my head again. "All right so you want to sit alone then huh?" he mutters and walks over to a table a few feet away. There are these two quiet looking guys sitting eating their lunch at a table all alone. Most likely freshmen. He walks up to the table and slams his hands so hard down on it that it shakes. "You got about two seconds to move losers." He tells them. They start to get up.
"No don’t get up." I yell at the one kid. He looks at me then at Paul. "Dont fucking look at him." I snap. "Sit back down..now..both of you!." I tell them and they do. The one kid looks terrified. I put my bag onto the table. And lean my crutch against the bench.
Paul turns to me "What the fuck Elle..you wanna be alone..now you dont.."he throws his hands up in the air. Were standing at the head of the table. I look back at the two petrified freshmen gripping their lunch trays and I realize something. Paul is a bully....I dont know why its hitting me so hard now...but yes..he is a bully. He bullied me into coming here and hes gonna keep doing it...It was strange being so fucked up and seeing so clearly.
"Sit down Paul" I tell him softly. This is gonna end..now..
He sits next to un-named kid one. I think Ill call him Larry. He looks like a Larry. Well Larry looks uncomfortable. Is it because I'm staring at him or is it because Paul is cracking his knuckles again? I sit next to kid two. I decide he should be named Larry two.. Larry 2 moves a little to his left.
"Oh don’t mind us..Just keep eating." I say to Larry 2. Paul looks at me.
"Elle I know you’re pissed at me." he says reaching for my hand. Larry 1 looks over. Paul glares at him. Well, Larry 1 must have decided that his lunch was very interesting because he stared down and didn't look up again. Larry 2 took a drink of milk.
"Okay Paul..lets just cut the shit..Im not gonna let you fuck me." I say. Larry 2 chokes on his milk. Paul let go of my hand and leant back. He stretched his arms and put them behind his head. He smirked at me.
"No I'm serious Paul..Im not just gonna let you keep fucking me over." I said very seriously. Paul leant back forward. I think maybe he believed me.
"So whatcha gonna do Elle?" He said arrogantly.
"I'm not gonna do anything." I said folding my arms. Paul grinned. "You’re just gonna leave me alone from now on." I told him.
"And I'll do that because..." he was smirking at me.
I lean over and whisper.."come on Paul..we were together for soooo long..I know all your secrets.."
He laughed. "Well that may be true but come on Elle..its not like you haven’t.."
"Haven’t what?" I interrupted. "you’re right I’ve done a lot of shit but I dont give a fuck if anyone finds out..do you?"
Paul is frowning. "You’re fucking bluffing Elle." He mumbles.
"Bluffing..no I think not.." I smile and turn to poor Larry 2. "Hey uh Larry..you dont mind if I call you Larry do you?" I ask him. He shakes his head. "well Larry let me tell you about this time last winter when uh Paul and Pete Ontellio and I were at Pete’s house and we were getting freaky on his dads pool table and Paul took the ---"
Paul slams his hands down interrupting me. "Damn it Elle." Now I'm smirking at him.
"Well then maybe they want ta hear about the time you slipped a ruffie in Howies girlfriends drink and then---"
Paul cut me off again. "All right Elle." He sighs. "You wanna truce..youve got it" hes shaking his head.
Ah victory! If I know Paul..which I obviously do... he means it....his reputation is the most important thing to him...
He stands up…"Damn you’re such a bitch...I'm gonna miss you.." He whispers to me and leans over and kisses my cheek. I watch him walk away out of the corner of my eye..wait whats that..Oh fuck.Its Gerard.. standing in the doorway and hes glaring at me....
Oh fuck. Gerard was standing by the doorway watching Paul walk away. He looks pissed. Probably cause Paul just kissed my cheek. Damn it. "Hey Larry." I say. Larry# 2 doesn’t answer. " Larry number 2 .."I say again and nudge him."Helloooo?"
Larry 2 says "Huh" and looks at me wide eyed.
"Hey you see that guy by the door." I point to Gerard who is kicking his boot against the doorway.. Larry 2 shakes his head yes.."Can you go over and tell him to come here...please.." I ask him as sweetly as I can. Larry 2 is looking at me like I'm nuts. "aw come on man." I beg. Larry 1 looks over at Gerard.
"The guy in all black!" Larry1 cries out. Gerard is starting to walk away.
"Fuck please Larrys! just go get him!! " Larry 1 starts to get up.
"I'll try" he says.
"Fuck Larry I swear to god if you dont come back with him I'll scream...." Larry#1 runs after Gerard. Larry 2 tries to inconspicuously slide a little further away from me on the bench. I watch as Larry number one is talking to Gerard.
That a boy Larry!! Gerard follows him back.
'So uh..this is why you stood me up?" He says looking down at me.
"Huh?" I say.
"To have lunch with 'him'?" Gerard says emphasizing 'him' I shake my head.
"Let me explain..." I try to say but he cuts me off
"Explain...no, no Elle...I dont need to hear". He says taking a step backwards.
"That's not what happened." a voice said. I look over. Its Larry number 3...Wait a minute Larry 3? where the fuck did he come from? "Just give her a chance man." He says opening a bag of chips and munching on them. He leans forward like hes fucking watching TV. Gee I'm so glad my life is so fucking amusing to you Larry number 3.... I decide right there that I dont like Larry 3.
Gerard sighs. He looks at me. I try to mimic Paul’s signature puppy dog eyes. He looks at the 3 larrys. Then he sits. He takes my hands in his and says "All right but this better be good Elle...”
Turns out Larry 1 was really named Steve. I wanted to keep calling him Larry but Gerard said that would be rude..He wanted to know what exactly I had on Paul but I told him that would be ruder. Lar-I mean Steve walked me to English class..turns out he was a pretty cool guy. When I got to class Jeff was waiting for me.
"What’d ya say to Paul?" He asked me as I sat down. I started shuffling my papers on the desk.
"What did he say I said?" I asked without looking up
"He didn't...uh.. He just said to leave you alone." Jeff said. I look up. Jeff is talking to me but his eyes are fixated on my chest. I lean my face down into Jeff’s line of vision.
"Well then maybe you should." I whisper. Jeff’s eyes lock with mine and he blushes slightly and walks away. Bastard. I mumble to myself as he walks away. The teacher puts on the overhead projector. It’s a writing assignment or some shit..
Everyone starts writing. I rub my eyes. Ok what does that say...aw man..youre on a deserted island..blah blah blah. write a paragraph about what one item you would bring. Who the fuck cares! A deserted island!! Come on the fucking chances of that.. I mean this lady must be on more shit then I am...
All right well everyone else in class is already writing... Focus Elle...you gotta pass at least one goddamn class this year...I take a deep breath and start writing.
The English teacher Mrs. Leanords turns on the lights and flips the projector off. She wants to discuss what we wrote.Who would like to go first she calls out. I look down. There's no fucking way I'm reading this to the class. Its barely legible. "How about you Dave?" she says. Dave? I look across the room. Oh fuck its Mister 'Dave/Eric Derreck' from math class. I didn't know he was in this class too. I sink down in my chair.
The prick stands up "Yeah uh ..if I was on a deserted island I would like to bring Elle Waller with me." He says.What the fuck did he just say? Everyone turns to me. I just shook my head.
"Uh well ok Dave..tell us why you chose Elle." Mrs. Leanords says.
"Uh cause I hear she’s alotta fun at parties!" Dave says smiling. I gasped. A few kids laugh. Jeff was trying not smile.
Mrs.Leanords is confused. "Ok ok settle down now..." she says trying to regain control over the class. My mind is totally blank. He did not just say that... "Elle? uh why dont you go next" she says. Everyone who wasn’t already looking at me now is. "Come on stand up Elle." she insists.
"Well..If I was stuck on deserted island with him I'd bring a knife and slit my fucking throat!" I say loudly.
"Elle!" Mrs. Leonards gasps. "That language is not acceptable!"
I shrug. The class is in an uproar. Mrs.Leanords flicks the lights on and off until it gets quiet again.
"Now Elle. Why dont you just read us what you wrote." Mrs. Leanords sighs and picks up her pen and grade book. I felt bad for her. She really was trying to keep control.
"Fine..I wrote.." I pick up my paper and start to read 'If I was on a deserted island I would bring a boat.' "
The class starts laughing again. Mrs.Leanords tosses her pen onto her desk and folds her arms. Fuck. Looks like I'm gonna be failing this class too...
As the bell rings I grab Jeff’s arm. I nod towards 'Derreck'. "So uh you gonna do anything about that?" I ask him roughly
He shrugs. "Like what?" He says trying to blow me off. Oh hell no!
"You tell Paul that hes gotta take care of it....or I will." I say picking up my bag. Jeff sighs and walks out.
I made my way to art. As soon as I walked in Gerard could tell something was wrong. I didn't want to tell him but he kept insisting. I told him everything that happened in class as we drew. The worst part was that I was pretty sure 'Derreck' had told Mikey something. I mean he heard everything we said in study hall. Gerard said he'd handle Mikey.
As Gerard walked me to the library he said he'd take care of 'Derreck' too. If I wanted of course.
"No come on Gerard...I can handle myself.." I said as we walked passed the nurses office.
"Holy shit" Gerard said and he stopped walking. He was looking in the nurse’s open door. I peek in. There with a black eye and ice pack on his lip sat 'Derreck'. I smiled. God damn Paul.He was so predictable. I tug on Gerard to keep walking before 'Derreck' sees us.
"What the fuck do have on him Elle?" He asks slipping his hand around my waist.
"mmm..cant tell you.." I say pulling away. Were just feet from the library.
"Come on." He insists
"No...I’m good at keeping secrets" I say pretending to zip my lip shut. He smiles. God I love his smile....
He leans in and whispers in my ear "Well maybe I'll come over after school and we can make some secrets of our own.." I can feel his breath on my ear. Its driving me crazy...Just then Frankie comes running up the hall and pushes his way in between us. Putting one arm around me and his other around Gerard.
"Elle my love!" he cries and kisses my cheek. Gerard groans. "Aw dont feel bad I love you too Gee." he says and kisses Gerard’s cheek.
"Aw fuck you." Gerard says pushing him off. The bitch librarian appears again with her arms crossed.
"I don’t think she likes us" I whisper to Frankie as we head to our seats. I look over my shoulder. She's giving us the evil eye...no I dont think she likes us at all.......
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