FicWad

Gerard managed to sneak out photo lab while I was putting my camera away. No matter. I'll just talk to him in study hall. As I walk into the cafeteria the study hall monitor hands me a slip.

"Consular office." She said dryly.

"Oh no thank you." I said handing her the slip back. She glared at me. "Oh I’m sorry - No thank you ma'am." I said and gave her a weak smile.

"It wasn’t a suggestion." she snapped holding the paper up. I looked over at Gerard before I left. He had his head down on the table again. Fuck. He must be fucked up I thought as I headed down to the guidance office. What the hell is wrong with him? Doing that shit before school!!! oh wait thats right.

Thats like the pot calling the kettle black. Wait that makes no sense - pots are stainless steel..and what’s a kettle? Isn’t it another word for cat. Hmmm. Cats are usually black right so why would a pot care? Maybe if the cat was stainless steel then I could see the pot being like what the fuck man? but..aah I was giving myself a headache..

Ooh I’m here. I dont believe I found the door! Awesome! okay lets see.. I push the door open and sit down in Miss Roberts office. She wasn’t even here yet. Bitch. I could hear a game shows announcers voice in my head.' Now its time for another session of "What did I do this time?"' I could hear game show music playing in the background in my head. 'And heres the host... Miss Roberts!' I thought as she walked in. I laughed softly.

"Oh I see you’re in a good mood today Elle." She said smiling. She sat down and looked over at me. I shrugged. She gasped a little. "Oh dear what happened."She said pointing at my lip.

"Oh I just bit it a little to hard." I said covering it with my hand. Well according to Miss Roberts teen expert extraordinaire - biting your lip so hard that it bleeds it not normal. And it also shows her that I am extremely overstressed. Well maybe Id be feeling better if I was sitting with Gerard now and not you I wanted to scream at her but I didn’t. She recommended I get some relaxation tapes and maybe take a long bath when I get home. Maybe even try yoga. Whatever.

She said if I find no relief with these that I may want to consider going to a doctor for some medication. Yeah brilliant idea Miss Roberts. Thats exactly what I need some pills!!! I just nodded and tried not to laugh. She said she was making me another appointment for after the vacation. Fuck. I’ve got to get her off my back.

Next time I’m just gonna smile and be all polite and shit. Convince her I’m okay. I dont know maybe she was right I was stressed. I stopped in the bathroom. I do need to relax. I dont know what the fuck I took this morning but it wasn’t doing shit. Maybe it was an altoid I laughed to myself.

I locked myself in the bathroom stall and dug through my purse. Lia gave me a few hits of the acid she made you know to test it. Do I dare? I thought to myself. "Ah who are you kidding!" I said and slid one on my tongue. I opened the door and found Chrissy standing there.

"Were you talking to someone?" she asked looking around the empty bathroom.

"Oh no I was just uhhh." I shrugged at her. She giggled and headed towards the door.

"Yeah okay." she smiled."Oh and Elle dont forget to wear black tomorrow." She said as she walked out. Black? What the fuck was she talking about? Oh that fucking silhouette picture. Damn it. I pull out my pen and write blk-sht on my hand. It kind of smeared. Whatever.

I made it to math class on time. Actually I beat Mikey there, but not Dave-eric. I looked over at him and smile. Damn I’m feeling good! He looked away. Aw- what’s the matter Davy you dont want to play with me anymore?

Mikey came in and sat. At least he smiled at me. "So what the hells wrong with your brother?" I ask him. He shrugged.

"I was gonna ask you that." He said opening his book. Fuck. My book! I didn’t have my book. "He’s been fucking wasted all weekend." Mikey sighed. The sub walked in. Oh thank God we had a sub again. I zoned out for the rest of the class.

Most of social studies too. We had this awful test in social studies. They gave us this standardized little red slip where you fill in the bubbles. Fuck. They kept moving around. I couldn’t focus so I just colored in the little dots on the answer key to read Elle Rules on an angle. Well it looked like that to me anyway. The bell finally rang and snuck up on Ray as he was walking out.

"Whatcha doing for lunch?" I asked. He shrugged. I knew he couldn’t go to Lia’s with her grandma there and all.

"Probably nothing what are you doing?" he replied.

"Come on" I said tugging his arm. "We can go get some Chinese". I said as we walked out the classroom door. "I just want to go to my locker first ok?" I asked. Ray nodded. Gerard was at his locker. He saw Ray and I coming and slammed his shut.

"Hey were going for Chinese...you coming?" Ray called out to him. Gerard looked up at us. Our eyes met for a second and then he looked away. I stared down at my lock. Fuck. Not this again...Gerard was telling Ray he didn’t want to go. Ray was insisting.

I was still staring at the motherfucking lock. I was just spinning it around...and around...and around...and around...and..oh shit.They stopped talking and now they’re both just looking at me. "I cant open this." I said taking a step back. Gerard groaned and twisted the dial quickly. It popped open. Motherfucker! "My hero" I cried out and kissed his cheek. He kind of blushed a little. I grabbed his arm in mine. "Okay lets go." I said before he could object.

We got to the Chinese restaurant and Ray grabs a menu from the counter. He brings it to the table.. It was a take out place mostly so it had a few tables scattered about.I had slipped my hand into Gerards under the table. He didn’t pull away. He must’ve just been real fucked up this morning. Ray looks over the menu.

"Uh okay Elle can you order me some fried rice" Ray asks. Gerard nods.

"Ill have the same and an egg roll too." Gerard adds. They both look at me.

"You want me to order?" I ask looking over my shoulder. The guy at the counter is yelling something in Chinese to the man who was cooking. Pots and pans were being smashed around. Steam filled the kitchen. I look back at Ray hes nodding. "Why me?" I ask. I’m so fucking confused.

"Cause I dont know how to." Ray says matter of factly. I look at Gerard.

"Me neither." He shrugs. What the fuck?

"You guys dont know how to?" I repeat back again.

"Come on I’m hungry." Ray groans.

"Its easy" I say getting up. I take Rays hand. "Here I'll show you" I said bringing him to the counter.

"Cool" Ray says looking at me and then at the Chinese guy.

"Hi" I say to the guy. He nods."Okay you ready Ray?" I ask Ray nods. "Okay he wants some fried rice...and the other guy wants fried rice and an egg roll and I just want some wonton soup and crackers." I say. The guy scribbles something down and yells something in Chinese to the guy in the kitchen.

"Fuck you Elle" Ray tells me as we sit back down. Gerard is laughing. Man it was good to see him in a good mood again.

"What?" I ask Ray.

"Come on I thought you were gonna order in Chinese!" Ray says folding his arms.

"Chinese?" I laugh. "Who told you I speak Chinese?" I ask. Aw Fuck man. I roll my eyes and look at them.

Then we all say it at the same time...

"Mikey".

Who knew Mikey believes everything he's told. I made small talk with Gerard over lunch. I mean Ray was sitting right there so I couldn’t exactly be like so Gee remember how we fucked on Friday..why are you ignoring me??...Well I could have but I didn’t. I guess I’m just considerate like that.

Gerard walked me to English class. I leant in to kiss him and he reached his hand up and stopped me. He ran his thumb along my bottom lip. I pulled his hand down and leant forward into him again.

"I dont want to hurt you." He said softly and quickly turned and walked away. Hurt me? How could a kiss hurt? Oh maybe cause of my lip. Fuck it was just a little cut. Barely even noticeable. I started unconsciously biting at it again. Fuck I tasted blood. I wiped my mouth with my hand. There was a little drop of blood on it. Fuck I’m making it worse. I turn to go to my seat.

Jeff was watching. He must’ve seen Gerard blow me off cause as I walk by him he smirks "Trouble in paradise Elle?" I turn to face him wiping another drop of blood from my lip. Jeffs face drops. He gets up and squats next to my desk. "Did he do that?" Jeff says looking out the doorway. I shake my head no. What a fucking moron Jeff is. Yeah Gerard and I went to lunch and what... he fucking hit me? Bit my lip in the throws of passion? Give me a break..

"No, I just..I just bit my lip." I said sucking on it again.

"cause if you want me to kick his ass" Jeff started. I punched his arm.

"Go sit back down." I told him as Ms. Leanords started writing on the board. Fucking Jeff. What a god damn imagination he has. Fuck. I bet hes gonna tell Paul. Just what I need. I bet Paul will tell the consular. Fuck I wanted to talk to Jeff- ya know to make sure he minds his fucking business but I can’t…

We were having some kind of quiz today.. I finish the quiz and look down at my hands. The blood on my hand had dried and smeared with the ink from where I wrote blk-sht. Damn it. I lick my finger and start trying to rub it off...motherfucker...this is grossing me out..I mean blood and ink..and ew spit.. Someone grabs my arm. Its Ms. Leanords and she’s frowning.

She picks up my quiz as the bell rings.I look over as Jeff darts out. Fuck Ms. Leanords is hassling me. She seems to think I had something written on my hand. Well lets see thats cause I did. It said 'black shirt' I tell her. She doesn’t believe me. No it guess it makes more sense to think that I had the entire fucking cliff notes on Pride and Prejudice written super small on my hand in blood.

She tells me that I have to take a new test tomorrow in the back of the classroom. I tell that would be super cause I know I flunked the one she’s holding. What a fucking bitch. I storm out of the classroom. I knew she never liked me.
As I walk out I can see Jeff down the hall talking to Paul. Paul is looking over at me. Shit. He’s walking towards me now. Here it comes...

"Elle what’s going on?" He asks tilting my chin up. He's looking at my lip. I roll my eyes and push his hand off of me.

"Leave me alone Paul." I moan trying to walk past him. He grabs my shoulder.

"Elle if he fucking hurt you I need to know." He told me roughly. Some people looked over. I could see Miss Roberts coming down the hall. Fuck.

"No Paul..Its not like that." I said softly. "I just bit my lip..its not a big deal" I said loudly looking at Jeff. Paul pulled me closer to him and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. He waved as Miss Roberts walked by.

"Lets ditch next period and go talk." Paul whispered in my ear as Jeff took off down the hall. Now I know Paul and that usually meant having sex behind the bleachers. I gave him a funny look. " no I mean talk...really talk.." he chuckled. Now there was no way I was gonna miss art with Gerard to sit and 'talk' with Paul. I shook my head no violently. He groaned. "all right can I come over after school then?" He asked. I shrugged. I should’ve told him to go to hell, but I kind of wanted to talk to him. I didn’t need him running off to Miss. Roberts again. Or worse confronting Gerard over my 'injury'. I agreed to meet him at my locker after school.

Miss Lee had the overhead projector going in the art room. Showing us slides of these modern art pictures. Now it was probably the acid but these were some of the most beautiful things I had ever seen. The first one was colors splashed on a canvas, mostly reds and oranges.

Then one with all these black lines going every which way. It was awesome. The third one was blue and red circles interlocking. Then the screen went white. Solid white. That was my favorite. She flicked the lights back on leaving the white one on the screen. I was still staring at it. I had never seen anything like that. It was white...so white. and so beautiful.... It was even more beautiful than any of the other pictures.

We were to go around the room and say which one we like and why. She started on the left. First was Marie...She said she liked the circles cause it had only primary colors, then was Jose. He liked the one with the lines. he mumbled something about the artist. Fuck are we suppose to know who painted this shit? Fuck. It was my turn.

"Uh out of all of them I like the white one." I say "but I dont know who painted it." I add.

Miss Lee looks confused. "Which one dear?" She asks. I look over at Gerard. He’s giving me the same funny look as Miss Lee.

"the white one" I repeat.

Miss Lee shuffles her papers around. "Which one is that?" She asks. What the fuck? She doesn’t even know what she fucking showed us.

"Its still up there" I say pointing to the screen. People are laughing now. I dont know why. I wrinkle my eyebrows and look at Gerard.

"I agree with Elle." He says loudly. "I like the white screen to cause all those pictures sucked!" More people are laughing. Miss Lee frowned at us and stood up and pulled on the bottom of the picture. It rolled up into the board. I gasped at it. Fuck. It wasn’t a picture it was the motherfucking projector screen. Damn it. Well that answers if the acid is any good or not.

I bit down on my lip again. Fuck I’ve got to stop doing that. My lips probably swelling up again. The bell rang as I was looking at my lip in my compact. I caught Gerard looking at me out of the corner of my eye. I closed the compact and looked at him.

"So what’s up?" I asked intentionally bumping into him as we walked through the doorway. He gave me a weak smile.

"Why are you even still talking to me?" He asked running his hands through his hair. We started walking down the hall together.

"Huh?" I said trying to grab his hand.

"Come on Elle" He said pulling away. "I fucking hurt you." He said looking at his feet.

"When?" I asked grabbing his arm.

"When?" he sneered "Come on I heard you fucking crying in the shower." he said softly pulling his arm away from mine.

"I wasn’t crying cause of that..." I started to say and grabbed his arm again.

"Fuck Elle I know it was cause of me " He said pulling me face to face with him. I looked in his eyes. They were still so red but so full of pain. I was mesmerized. I couldn’t speak. He must have taken my silence to mean I agreed. "I just dont always know what I’m doing when I’m fucked up Elle." He said running his thumb across my lip "I’m just so sorry that I hurt you." He said as he let me go. "Just do me a favor and stay away from me." He muttered softly.

"You think you did this?" I asked pointing at my lip. Fuck no wonder why hes been all sketchy all day. He stared at me blankly. Holy shit he did. "You didnt..I mean you were a little rough and all but Gerard.. I’ve just been biting my lip all day. Mostly cause you’ve been avoiding me...Its just a nervous habit I have..." I stammered.

Gerard sighed and just looked at me. I nodded reassuringly. He lifted his index finger to his mouth and started to bite his nail. "Oooh no dont do that." I said pulling his hand from his mouth. "Thats disgusting" I told him. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my neck softly.

Oooh finally. I pressed my self against him and closed my eyes. Yes!!! lets see I fixed my house...and now Gerard..hmm all thats left is that motherfucking doorknob...