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Pen liked Mikey, she really did. But, even so, something about holding his hand and giving him the obligatory kiss on the cheek every now and then didn't feel quite right. Or maybe it was the lies that she constantly had to feed him

"What's wrong, Pen?" He would ask when she came back on the bus after a show with red eyes and a sniffling nose.

"I--uh...I just don't--feel well, Mikey. I'm gonna go lay down..." and she would disappear into the bedroom that they shared, living out the rest of her high on the bed or staring out a window.

When they stopped to eat somewhere, she'd order water or soda. While the band was rehearsing, Pen would guzzle as much alcohol as she could possibly take, since she didn't know when she'd be able to get it again.

Every time Pen lied to him, Mikey's heart broke a little bit more. He knew, of course he knew. How stupid did she think he was? He knew that the fountain drinks and bottled water were just for his benefit, and that she snuck a drink whenever his back was turned. Of course he recognized the difference between allergies and being high. Not to mention, she reeked of pot whenever she took a few hits.

On the rare occasion that he decided to let her know when he had caught her, she was able to put on a sad face and stroke his cheek with one hand while smoking a joint with the other. He couldn't help but forgive her every single time he caught her in the act. He did like her a lot, possibly even love her, and he couldn't bear to break her heart (or his), despite her dishonesty.

And every time, every single time she was caught, she would again promise not to touch anything ever again, to fly straight for the rest of her life. Mikey knew it was a ruse, but he wanted so much to believe that she was willing to change for him.

And one day, it became too much, even for Mikey.

It had been a little under a month since Pen and Mikey had begun dating. He had walked off the bus to buy some groceries for the tour, so that they wouldn't have to keep stopping to eat.

"Pen...I'm going grocery shopping, do you want anything?"

"Mmm...No--M-M-Mikes," she slurred. He knew she was drunk, but decided to keep his mouth shut. Since the first time during their relationship that Mikey had discovered Pen going behind his back with the drugs and booze, he had felt nothing but a heavy weight in his stomach, a constant feeling of dread that reminded him of what her promise really meant to Pen.

About an hour after his departure, Mikey set the groceries down on the counter.

As he was putting things away, he heard a commotion in Gerard’s room.

Mikey decided not to knock.

Mikey saw what had been right in front of his face for the last month.

Pen was bent over a table, a straw in hand, her face hovering above a rapidly disappearing line of cocaine. She shot up straight when the door opened, frozen, caught in the act.

“Pen,” Mikey said quietly, disappointment etched on his face. “What are you doing,” It wasn’t a question. He could see what she was doing, but he wasn’t sure that she fully realized what she was doing to herself. “Come here,” he told her, motioning her to follow him out of the room, ignoring Gerard completely. He would be dealt with later.

Once the couple was safely in Mikey’s room, he turned to Pen and took a breath. She cut him off.

“I’m sorry, Mikey!” she cried, flinging herself at him, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist. “I won’t do it again!” she promised. “Never!”

With more difficulty than he could bear, Mikey stepped away from Pen and looked her in the face. “Yes,” he told her. “You will. I know you will. I’ve been denying it for a month because I care about you, Pen. I thought you cared about me enough to stop what you were doing, but I guess I was too late.”

“You weren’t too late, Mikey,” she soothed, trying to stroke his cheek. He flinched away from her touch.

“I was, Pen. And I’m not going to keep walking through a relationship with blinders on. I have to see what’s right in front of me.”

“But…Mikey,” Pen finally allowed a frown to grace her features. “I--I love you. I need you. You love me. You…you care about me…” her lip trembled, and Mikey couldn’t bear to look at it.

“I do care about you, Pen. But you don’t love me. I can see that, now.”

Pen did her best to keep her jaw from shaking, and she did that by setting it and putting a scowl on her face. “No! Mikey, please. I promise! I said I was sorry!”

“It’s not enough, Pen.” With that, he walked out of the room. Pen crossed her arms and stomped her foot, looking around the room.

Not long after, Pen moved all her things into Gerard’s room.

Later that night, the band had another show, and Pen didn’t feel like watching it for the millionth time. She loved the guys, but the same act over and over was getting old. So she walked in with them, helped with what she could of setting up, and mingled with the crowd a bit before the show started.

Someone came up to her (she wasn’t sure who; it was very dark) and handed her two small pills, which she clutched tightly in her hand and ran out of the venue with. She jogged to the bus, taking the steps up two-at-a-time, smacking right into Gerard as she opened the door.

“Pen,” he said, rubbing his head. “What are you in a hurry for?”

Excitedly, she held out her hand, showing her treasure. “Look what someone gave me!” she gushed. She didn’t know what they were, but they looked like they could do something.

Gerard didn’t smile, or nod in approval. The look on his face was one of shock as he took the pills from Pen to examine them. “Pen,” he said slowly, trying to confirm his suspicions of what they were before going off on her. Yep. The little ‘M’ on the tablets gave it away. “What the fuck!” he yelled, startling her. “Do you know what these are, Pen?”

She shook her head, eyes wide and lip trembling.

“This is Meth, Pen! Once you try it, you never go back! You do it once and you’re hooked. You never fucking take something that you have no idea what it is! Stay away from this shit, Pen, it’s bad news.” With that, he tossed the pills into the sink, causing Pen’s jaw to drop.

“Why would you do that!" she screamed, frozen in place.

“It was for your own good,” he told her forcefully. “Now, stay here and try not to get into anymore trouble during the show, okay? I won’t be here again to keep you from making stupid mistakes.”

As he walked out, Pen crossed her arms and stomped her foot. She jutted her jaw out defiantly, not responding well to the reprimanding she had just received. She walked over to the sink once she was sure that Gerard was gone. She peered in.

The pills had not gone down the drain.

They were just sitting there.

Waiting for her.


Ooh, don't you hate me for that? Slight cliff-hanger on this chapter. I'm so evil. Will she take the pills? Will she take Gerard's advice? And WHY did that relationship last for all of...ten minutes? Hahaha. Stay tuned for the next chapter, kids. REVIEW! Go, now! Por favor?Okay, OverAndOutxx

Bee-tee-dubs: I feel like I should make VendettaEmma my Reader of the Week. Why, you might ask? Simply because she's such a FREAKIN' AWESOME reviewer, kid! She reviews almost every chapter and she's so detailed and lengthy about what she liked, what she thinks is gonna happen, etc. I just felt obligated to invent this title just for her. Perhaps I'll do a Reader of the Week every update? I dunno. Food for thought.