Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Shadowlands
Chapter 3: Dreamscape
The next morning, 8 o'clock sharp, I was at St. Mungo's again. I still wasn't completely relieved, so I decided to check on Luna and Molly Jr. to see if they really were being released home today. There was a small tumult in front of 422, caused mainly by a bunch of redheads, and I was surprised to see almost the whole Weasley family, including the matriarch in front of the ward, patiently waiting for the Healer on duty to finish his morning round. The only thing I would have never expected was to see my Hermione and Lily among the redheads.
I drew somewhat closer so that I wouldn't miss a word from the vivid, happy conversation. It turned out that Hermione had taken an International Portkey yesterday, as soon as she'd got word of the attack on Luna and Molly Jr, bringing Lily along in order to introduce her to the extended family. Even if I was visiting my family regularly, and since that attack only a couple of weeks ago I'd been checking on them almost every night, just to see they were all right, I was very happy to see my Hermione smiling, showing off proudly with our wonderful daughter. Yet, the immense sadness I've been feeling ever since I'd learned about Lily's birth was still present; she'd never be able to talk or play with her Dad, I 'd never be able to hold her tight, kiss her, teach her things usual - living - fathers would.
I forced myself away from the happy crowd and peeked into the ward, pushing my head through the wood of the door. In a normal situation it would have been funny and freaky at the same time; on one side of the door a headless man, on the other side a manless head. But the Shadowlands were everything but normal, I've already learned that, and the interaction with the normal world, the world of the living, as we called it, could sometimes produce the weirdest effects. In my very first week here, I went through a crocodile's body as it was lying peacefully, digesting its prey, a small kangaroo, and for almost a week, I had to throw up every time I was thinking about food. Dad was laughing until he was hit by Mum's well-aimed Langlock curse, later, when she took pity on him, he explained that we'd better try and avoid physical contact with living creatures.
Inside ward 422 were only the Healer, Ron, Molly and Luna (the latter already in her everyday dress), finalizing paperwork. Luna listened carefully as the Healer explained her the dosage of the Pain-killing Potion, should her freshly healed leg hurt, but suddenly she burst out in an angelic laughter. Of course, stupid me. She saw me as I was peeking into the room, and I must have been a comic sight, even for her. I drew back quickly, in order not to compromise her, but I still managed to catch her playful wink, cast at me, I was sure of that. Ron shook his head, obviously he was still not completely used to her oddities, but said nothing. Luna sent him an apologetic smile and took his hand.
“I should be more careful around her,” I thought to myself as I fully emerged back in the corridor, sat down on an empty bench, patiently waiting. Then, all of a sudden, Hermione sat down on the bench besides me, cast a privacy spell around the bench and started nursing Lily. As the little nymph was feeding on her left breast, Hermione inclined her head to the left, causing a bushy strand of hair fall in her eyes. I instinctively reached out to remove the rogue strand from her face, and Hermione suddenly shivered. She looked around, from left to right, but, of course, nobody was there. Nobody, except me. Shaking her head, she went back to nursing Lily, and I, having decided to keep the illusion I'd forced myself into, was just sitting there, with her, watching them with tear-stained eyes.
Some five minutes later Luna emerged from the ward, still holding Ron's hand, while Ron was carrying Molly Jr. She caught sight of Hermione, who, in the meantime, had removed the privacy spell, and letting Ron go, walked up straight to her, then, with a shriek, enclosed my girls in a teary embrace. The three were just standing there, crying from grief and joy at the same time, then Ron came up and hugged Hermione to him, while Luna was making silly faces to Lily, causing the little one giggle. Then, she turned her face to me - her blue eyes tear-stained – and mouthed one word. “Tonight.” I shivered with excitement, though little did I know what was expecting me later that night.
I stayed late at the Ministry that day, for no particular reason. It was shortly after 8 pm that I came home, quickly undressed and went into a bathroom to take my usual, stress-removing, hot shower. As I was standing under the hot spray of water, washing away the sweat of yet another day, I could distinctively hear a loud crack. I understood it was Luna, signalling her arrival, so that I could hear it even through the noise of the running water, and I smiled. Was I feeling guilty? Oh yes, I was. I couldn't help it. I remembered our days with Luna, back in my fifth year, our DA sessions, our Thestral flight to London, the attack on Hogwarts a year later, when she was among the handful students answering our call and mentally thanked whatever God there was for wizards for having such a wonderful friend. Now I knew it was not pure friendship she'd been feeling towards me and no matter how much I'd been in love with Hermione, I couldn't help my blossoming feelings towards Luna.
I turned around, with a predator's smile. “I've heard you coming. You could have been more discreet, Apparating into the bathroom of someone just like that,” I teased her, while I was searching for her lips.
“Well, if this is what you want, Harry, I can just as well go back...” she replied in the same playful tone and tried to make the illusion she was just about to leave.
“Oh no, my dear. You're not going anywhere,” I answered, “not before you're punished for disturbing my beauty shower.” I pinned her naked body against the wall and closed the gap between us, until their bodies were so close they could have just as well melt together. I felt her body, her breasts, being pressed firmly against me and felt her lips part as my tongue delved into her waiting mouth. She moaned into my neck as I gently bit her earlobe, licked her china-white neck, her collarbone with the very tip of my tongue. I felt her thrusting her groin against mine, then she put her leg around me, pulling me close, until our bodies united again.
I woke up some time later in my own bed, with Luna curled up besides me. It was a wonderful feeling to belong to someone, albeit for stolen minutes, hours only and I mentally cursed myself for having fallen in sleep, with my girl at my side. I turned on my side, only to see Luna, with her crystal clear, blue eyes wide open, her whole face smiling at me. She purred contentedly, like a cat, and turned on her stomach, supporting herself on her elbows.
“I saw you today at St. Mungo's, Harry, when you were sitting besides Hermione. I could feel your pain. It was eating your soul like acid eating metal. It's time I fulfill my promise to you,” she said seriously, examining my face. It must have been speaking for me, because she nodded. “You will be able to visit them in their dreams, whenever you want to, talk to them, be with them, even touch them.”
“Why, Luna? Why are you doing all this for me?” I asked; even with Ron and Hermione around, I was not used to such selflessness from my friends.
“Silly boy, I've already answered this question to you,” Luna smiled, caressing my face with feather-light touches of her fingertips. “Because I love you. Because it hurts me to see you being hurt, in pain. Because you belong to her, to them, I'm very well aware of that. No, don't say a word. You know, deep inside, that I'm right. I thank God that we can have this little time only for ourselves, but I know I can't have all of you.”
I listened to her, and for a sudden moment I felt a desperate cry of her pained soul, it felt like a hot knife being twisted in my intestines. Overwhelmed by this feeling, my feeling of guilt for letting her down, just like I'd let down Hermione and our daughter, I hugged her and burst out in silent sobs. She was caressing my hair, whispering soothing words into my ear, while I felt her tears falling freely on my face, mixing there with my own tears.
“Don't cry, silly, we have to enjoy that little time we have at our disposal,” she said as we slowly composed ourselves. “We have things to do tonight, /other things /as well,” she smiled as she kissed away each other's tears. “How's your Latin?”
“Well, I haven't had extra lessons, but my spells work, so I guess my pronunciation must be alright,” I answered as honestly as I could, but in fact I hadn't had the faintest idea.
“We will see, love, we will see,” she replied, this time, again, in a serious tone. “There's not much that can go wrong, in a worst-case scenario nothing will happen,” she added, and sat straight in the bed, pulling me up into the same position.
“There's a simple incantation you have to pronounce as you think of the person, in whose dream you want to appear,” she started, closed her eyes, and began reciting the spell.
“Mors mei, tui vita.
Mei realitas, somnium tui.
Donum tibi mei.
Per tempus et spacium.”
Flaming letters started to form in thin air as she pronounced them, the last row clearly louder, in a raised, ringing voice. Then, she opened her eyes, and smiled. “Simple, isn't it, love?”
At first sight, nothing had happened. Then, a silver string appeared in thin air, connecting her with some invisible point, far beyond the boundaries of the room. “Dad has nightmares again. He still dreams of being captured and tortured by those Death Eaters, I'm going to have a chat with him. Off you go, to your family. Thank you for this wonderful night, my dear Harry,” she kissed me, and made an urging movement with her hand, signalling “Go!Go!” Then, her figure seemed to dissolve as she touched the silver string, then the string itself evaporated as well.
“Wait, Luna! How do I come back?” I asked in desperation; she hadn't told me that. What if I stay there forever, in their dreams? Suddenly I heard her ringing voice and angelic laughter in my head. “Finite, silly boy, so simple is that!”
Shaking my head, I reluctantly got off the bed, putting on my clothes, scattered on the floor, back again. “I can't possibly appear in Hermione's dream like that, can I?” I asked to myself, while I hastily scribbled down the letters of the incantation, by now almost completely faded, on a piece of parchment. Then, I drew a sharp breath as I sat down on the bed again, closed my eyes, and emptied my mind completely of all thoughts but one; my thoughts of my wife, my beloved girl, my Hermione. I let a small smile form on my face as I loudly, very clearly, with my best possible pronunciation read the words of the incantation, while concentrating on my target.
At first, nothing had happened. Fearing that I said something incorrectly, I was just about to pronounce the spell again, when, seemingly out of nowhere, a silver string, similar to Luna's one, materialized in the air. It was flickering, pulsating, emitting a low, humming sound. It was charged with so much energy that I feared to touch it, feared to burn my fingers against it. Then, the Gryffindor in me took over and I grabbed the silver cord with both hands. I felt something, distantly similar to the well-known sensation of Apparition, being sucked down a drain, only this time I seemed to travel inside that silver cord. My eyes were protesting against the intensity of the light and I closed them. Then, the movement stopped and it turned pitch black.
The next morning, 8 o'clock sharp, I was at St. Mungo's again. I still wasn't completely relieved, so I decided to check on Luna and Molly Jr. to see if they really were being released home today. There was a small tumult in front of 422, caused mainly by a bunch of redheads, and I was surprised to see almost the whole Weasley family, including the matriarch in front of the ward, patiently waiting for the Healer on duty to finish his morning round. The only thing I would have never expected was to see my Hermione and Lily among the redheads.
I drew somewhat closer so that I wouldn't miss a word from the vivid, happy conversation. It turned out that Hermione had taken an International Portkey yesterday, as soon as she'd got word of the attack on Luna and Molly Jr, bringing Lily along in order to introduce her to the extended family. Even if I was visiting my family regularly, and since that attack only a couple of weeks ago I'd been checking on them almost every night, just to see they were all right, I was very happy to see my Hermione smiling, showing off proudly with our wonderful daughter. Yet, the immense sadness I've been feeling ever since I'd learned about Lily's birth was still present; she'd never be able to talk or play with her Dad, I 'd never be able to hold her tight, kiss her, teach her things usual - living - fathers would.
I forced myself away from the happy crowd and peeked into the ward, pushing my head through the wood of the door. In a normal situation it would have been funny and freaky at the same time; on one side of the door a headless man, on the other side a manless head. But the Shadowlands were everything but normal, I've already learned that, and the interaction with the normal world, the world of the living, as we called it, could sometimes produce the weirdest effects. In my very first week here, I went through a crocodile's body as it was lying peacefully, digesting its prey, a small kangaroo, and for almost a week, I had to throw up every time I was thinking about food. Dad was laughing until he was hit by Mum's well-aimed Langlock curse, later, when she took pity on him, he explained that we'd better try and avoid physical contact with living creatures.
Inside ward 422 were only the Healer, Ron, Molly and Luna (the latter already in her everyday dress), finalizing paperwork. Luna listened carefully as the Healer explained her the dosage of the Pain-killing Potion, should her freshly healed leg hurt, but suddenly she burst out in an angelic laughter. Of course, stupid me. She saw me as I was peeking into the room, and I must have been a comic sight, even for her. I drew back quickly, in order not to compromise her, but I still managed to catch her playful wink, cast at me, I was sure of that. Ron shook his head, obviously he was still not completely used to her oddities, but said nothing. Luna sent him an apologetic smile and took his hand.
“I should be more careful around her,” I thought to myself as I fully emerged back in the corridor, sat down on an empty bench, patiently waiting. Then, all of a sudden, Hermione sat down on the bench besides me, cast a privacy spell around the bench and started nursing Lily. As the little nymph was feeding on her left breast, Hermione inclined her head to the left, causing a bushy strand of hair fall in her eyes. I instinctively reached out to remove the rogue strand from her face, and Hermione suddenly shivered. She looked around, from left to right, but, of course, nobody was there. Nobody, except me. Shaking her head, she went back to nursing Lily, and I, having decided to keep the illusion I'd forced myself into, was just sitting there, with her, watching them with tear-stained eyes.
Some five minutes later Luna emerged from the ward, still holding Ron's hand, while Ron was carrying Molly Jr. She caught sight of Hermione, who, in the meantime, had removed the privacy spell, and letting Ron go, walked up straight to her, then, with a shriek, enclosed my girls in a teary embrace. The three were just standing there, crying from grief and joy at the same time, then Ron came up and hugged Hermione to him, while Luna was making silly faces to Lily, causing the little one giggle. Then, she turned her face to me - her blue eyes tear-stained – and mouthed one word. “Tonight.” I shivered with excitement, though little did I know what was expecting me later that night.
I stayed late at the Ministry that day, for no particular reason. It was shortly after 8 pm that I came home, quickly undressed and went into a bathroom to take my usual, stress-removing, hot shower. As I was standing under the hot spray of water, washing away the sweat of yet another day, I could distinctively hear a loud crack. I understood it was Luna, signalling her arrival, so that I could hear it even through the noise of the running water, and I smiled. Was I feeling guilty? Oh yes, I was. I couldn't help it. I remembered our days with Luna, back in my fifth year, our DA sessions, our Thestral flight to London, the attack on Hogwarts a year later, when she was among the handful students answering our call and mentally thanked whatever God there was for wizards for having such a wonderful friend. Now I knew it was not pure friendship she'd been feeling towards me and no matter how much I'd been in love with Hermione, I couldn't help my blossoming feelings towards Luna.
I turned around, with a predator's smile. “I've heard you coming. You could have been more discreet, Apparating into the bathroom of someone just like that,” I teased her, while I was searching for her lips.
“Well, if this is what you want, Harry, I can just as well go back...” she replied in the same playful tone and tried to make the illusion she was just about to leave.
“Oh no, my dear. You're not going anywhere,” I answered, “not before you're punished for disturbing my beauty shower.” I pinned her naked body against the wall and closed the gap between us, until their bodies were so close they could have just as well melt together. I felt her body, her breasts, being pressed firmly against me and felt her lips part as my tongue delved into her waiting mouth. She moaned into my neck as I gently bit her earlobe, licked her china-white neck, her collarbone with the very tip of my tongue. I felt her thrusting her groin against mine, then she put her leg around me, pulling me close, until our bodies united again.
I woke up some time later in my own bed, with Luna curled up besides me. It was a wonderful feeling to belong to someone, albeit for stolen minutes, hours only and I mentally cursed myself for having fallen in sleep, with my girl at my side. I turned on my side, only to see Luna, with her crystal clear, blue eyes wide open, her whole face smiling at me. She purred contentedly, like a cat, and turned on her stomach, supporting herself on her elbows.
“I saw you today at St. Mungo's, Harry, when you were sitting besides Hermione. I could feel your pain. It was eating your soul like acid eating metal. It's time I fulfill my promise to you,” she said seriously, examining my face. It must have been speaking for me, because she nodded. “You will be able to visit them in their dreams, whenever you want to, talk to them, be with them, even touch them.”
“Why, Luna? Why are you doing all this for me?” I asked; even with Ron and Hermione around, I was not used to such selflessness from my friends.
“Silly boy, I've already answered this question to you,” Luna smiled, caressing my face with feather-light touches of her fingertips. “Because I love you. Because it hurts me to see you being hurt, in pain. Because you belong to her, to them, I'm very well aware of that. No, don't say a word. You know, deep inside, that I'm right. I thank God that we can have this little time only for ourselves, but I know I can't have all of you.”
I listened to her, and for a sudden moment I felt a desperate cry of her pained soul, it felt like a hot knife being twisted in my intestines. Overwhelmed by this feeling, my feeling of guilt for letting her down, just like I'd let down Hermione and our daughter, I hugged her and burst out in silent sobs. She was caressing my hair, whispering soothing words into my ear, while I felt her tears falling freely on my face, mixing there with my own tears.
“Don't cry, silly, we have to enjoy that little time we have at our disposal,” she said as we slowly composed ourselves. “We have things to do tonight, /other things /as well,” she smiled as she kissed away each other's tears. “How's your Latin?”
“Well, I haven't had extra lessons, but my spells work, so I guess my pronunciation must be alright,” I answered as honestly as I could, but in fact I hadn't had the faintest idea.
“We will see, love, we will see,” she replied, this time, again, in a serious tone. “There's not much that can go wrong, in a worst-case scenario nothing will happen,” she added, and sat straight in the bed, pulling me up into the same position.
“There's a simple incantation you have to pronounce as you think of the person, in whose dream you want to appear,” she started, closed her eyes, and began reciting the spell.
“Mors mei, tui vita.
Mei realitas, somnium tui.
Donum tibi mei.
Per tempus et spacium.”
Flaming letters started to form in thin air as she pronounced them, the last row clearly louder, in a raised, ringing voice. Then, she opened her eyes, and smiled. “Simple, isn't it, love?”
At first sight, nothing had happened. Then, a silver string appeared in thin air, connecting her with some invisible point, far beyond the boundaries of the room. “Dad has nightmares again. He still dreams of being captured and tortured by those Death Eaters, I'm going to have a chat with him. Off you go, to your family. Thank you for this wonderful night, my dear Harry,” she kissed me, and made an urging movement with her hand, signalling “Go!Go!” Then, her figure seemed to dissolve as she touched the silver string, then the string itself evaporated as well.
“Wait, Luna! How do I come back?” I asked in desperation; she hadn't told me that. What if I stay there forever, in their dreams? Suddenly I heard her ringing voice and angelic laughter in my head. “Finite, silly boy, so simple is that!”
Shaking my head, I reluctantly got off the bed, putting on my clothes, scattered on the floor, back again. “I can't possibly appear in Hermione's dream like that, can I?” I asked to myself, while I hastily scribbled down the letters of the incantation, by now almost completely faded, on a piece of parchment. Then, I drew a sharp breath as I sat down on the bed again, closed my eyes, and emptied my mind completely of all thoughts but one; my thoughts of my wife, my beloved girl, my Hermione. I let a small smile form on my face as I loudly, very clearly, with my best possible pronunciation read the words of the incantation, while concentrating on my target.
At first, nothing had happened. Fearing that I said something incorrectly, I was just about to pronounce the spell again, when, seemingly out of nowhere, a silver string, similar to Luna's one, materialized in the air. It was flickering, pulsating, emitting a low, humming sound. It was charged with so much energy that I feared to touch it, feared to burn my fingers against it. Then, the Gryffindor in me took over and I grabbed the silver cord with both hands. I felt something, distantly similar to the well-known sensation of Apparition, being sucked down a drain, only this time I seemed to travel inside that silver cord. My eyes were protesting against the intensity of the light and I closed them. Then, the movement stopped and it turned pitch black.
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