FicWad

I lift my head slightly, peering at my barely lit bedroom. Unlike many teenagers, hanging out with friends on a Saturday, I'm probably going to be in this room the whole day. I don’t have friends. I don’t have a job. I just have this room, covered in band posters. The only light is coming from a small crack of a window. I don’t bother turning on the light. I see just fine this way. I sit up on my bed and pull out my homework. I’ve already done it, but I like to check it. It gives me something to do. No, I’m not being held prison. I’m not locked up in some physic ward. The only place I feel safe is in here. In this room. I go to a public school, like any normal kid. But I’m counting down the seconds until I can shut myself in my room. My small poster filled room. My safe place.

Other than the anxiety of being out in the open, school is ok. Everyone thinks I’m insane so they just leave me alone. The teachers adore me. I have straight A’s in every class. Well, excluding PE. But that isn’t a real class. I also love books. Books where complete losers turn into heroes. Something I know I’ll never experience, but for those few chapters, it’s real to me. More than books though, I love music. It helps me relax. It’s as if I can feel the music flowing through me. But more than the music, I find, I love boys. Of course, I haven’t breathed a word of this to my parents. They’d die of shame. I often wonder if there’s something wrong with me. I’ve tried to make myself look at girls, like girls, but its no use. I’m a lost cause I guess.

My mother raps on the door “Ryan! Are you decent?”

“Yes.” I answer lazily.

My short, stout, brunette mother walks in. She flips on the light. I close my eyes in pain.

“I’ll never know how you can see with no light… anyways, why don’t you make some friends? Join a school club?”

“I don’t want friends.”

She sighs “Really? Because I think deep down, you really want friends.”

“Well, you’re wrong…” my eyes are starting to adjust to the light.

“Well I’ve signed you up to tutor someone that needs help in school.”

“What?”

Everyone thinks I’m nuts! Who’d want to be helped by me?

“Some kid name Brandon Erie or something…”

I scramble through my brain, but that name doesn’t sound familiar.

“Well when do I have to do it?”

“First time is Monday…”

I groan “Fine but we’re doing it in here!”

She agrees, though I can tell she wanted me to break away from my room.

She leaves the room and I let out a huge sigh. I throw my pillow against the wall. Then I lay down on my bed, on my side, slightly curled up. Soon after I fall asleep.


I walk to school hastily. As if walking faster will make the day end sooner. I sit under the oak tree and pull out my iPod. I put the earphones in and turn it up all the way. I look around at the passing teenagers. A couple is in a corner, kissing and hugging lovingly. I feel a stab of jealousy. I look down at my knees. I can’t wait for today to end…



After school, I go to the office to meet my, as mom phrased it, “Study Buddy”. I walk in and sigh, announcing my presence.

“Hello Mr. Ross, you will be tutoring Mr. Urie here.”

A boy, maybe my age or a year older, looks up at me. Our eyes meet. He has beautiful hazel eyes. I look away, feeling my face grow warm.

“So, um, I’m Brendon.”

Brandon Eerie
I chuckle at my mom’s mistake.
He raises an eyebrow.

“I’m Ryan…”

“So… I don’t know where you live…”

“I walk; it’s not far from here.”

“Wanna just ride in my car?”

I nod “Sure.”

No Ryan! You do not like this boy!

We get into his car. The first thing I smell is his coconut car air freshener. For a teenage boy, his car is considerably tidy. I give him directions to my house, getting flustered and blushing a lot.

Oh boy, this isn't gonna be good!