Categories > Books > Harry Potter > What Now, Severus?
Zelda moved automatically around the house, closing the blinds and curtains. Her mind was in turmoil, and she was struggling heroically to keep from going back to gaze at the strange man sleeping in her bed. She felt as if she recognized him somehow, but that was pathetic and delusional, she told herself grimly.
The cats came out of hiding, and she remembered that Melissa was supposed to come and feed them. She fed them distractedly without speaking. Then she wrote a brief note, taped it to the back door, locked the doors after that, and then checked the time. She was amazed to see that it was only half past noon.
Twelve hours ago, she thought, her life was as it had been for years, completely, magnificently ordinary. Boring, but acceptable. Blessedly free of painful relationships, free of lies. One wretched marriage that ended horribly - devastating her emotionally and financially - was enough. Then there were the sorry, needy losers; men who thought a divorced woman her age would do anything for a little attention...
Zelda had done everything but take a formal vow of celibacy - and that was only because she was superstitious enough to not want to tempt fate. She had simply decided to mind her own bitter, cynical business and found life alone surprisingly good. Now... it was too hard to think about what just happened.
Throwing herself down on the couch, she pulled a blanket over herself. Her last thought, as she dozed off, was that if she hadn't found Severus completely helpless, she would have been terrified of him.
Severus drifted in strange dreams, sleeping deeply and then rousing again and again. Bellatrix Lestrange appeared above him, and she smiled gently at him, as she stabbed him with a knife... over and over. "NOOOOO!" he howled as he woke, confused, to the sound of his own voice.
He stared around a darkened room and saw nothing familiar, but vaguely felt there was something important that he must do. He climbed out of bed, and opened the door. He had no idea where he was, but he followed the short hallway into a larger room where he saw a sleeping form nestled on a squashy old couch. His legs were quivering and he needed to sit. He sank down on the couch, unfortunately on top of the sleeping woman.
She sat up suddenly, saying, "What is it?"
He slowly said, "Zelda?"
Zelda rubbed her eyes in consternation. She saw Severus there, naked and shivering, staring with unfocused eyes. Wrapping her blanket around him, she led him back to the bedroom. She put him back into bed and tucked the comforter over him. Since it now seemed inevitable that she'd end up there, she slid cautiously into the other side of the bed. She reached over to touch his hand, and he turned over carefully to look at her.
The crease between her brows showed the depth of her worry, and she said resignedly, "I won't leave you again."
He laced her fingers firmly into his. He was not able to reason, but this was important. He needed her to help him understand something. They fell asleep at almost the same time, and still he held her hand. His dream woke them both a few hours later.
...He was running to the Astronomy Tower, wand at the ready, plunging untouched through a group of Death Eaters who were fighting members of the Order. He feared what he would see when he reached the top, and when he got there, he saw that it was worse than he'd thought... Dumbledore was leaning against the wall, and he looked near death. A poison, it seemed, must have protected this Horcrux. Draco was there. He was standing still, but his wand was lowered. Snape was relieved to see that facing Dumbledore had made Draco realize that he couldn't kill the old wizard.
Snape strode through the Death Eaters and pushed Draco aside to face Dumbledore. He knew what he had to do... but now, at the moment when everything depended on his resolution, he wanted to run. He wanted to attack the lumpish idiots who were clamoring at him to kill his only friend. Then Dumbledore spoke, saying, "Severus... please." Their eyes met and Dumbledore knew what he was thinking.
Dumbledore always knew, he was always right, and there was no way for Snape to escape this monstrous destiny. He raised his wand, but it vanished. Something was holding his hand. He tried to pull away... He was weeping and the tower vanished. Warm arms circled him and he was safe, but Dumbledore was gone forever...
Zelda held Severus against her as the first sobs tore through him, trying to keep him from thrashing around and hurting himself. Suddenly he stopped resisting and buried his face against her neck. His first passionate anguish eventually gave way to the exhausted tears of a heartbroken child, then silence. He tensed and tried to pull away from her... but Zelda didn't let him go. She smoothed his hair tenderly away from his face and kept stroking his cheek, his neck, rubbing his back, until his muscles began to relax.
She knew her own decision was made when she shivered briefly and deliberately kissed his forehead, his cheeks and his mouth. She knew what would probably follow and hoped it wouldn't kill him.
His anguished dream tore at Severus; Dumbledore's death, Bellatrix's cackles, humiliation, fear and pain, aching loneliness... but the warm body in his arms soothed him. When he woke again, shamefully aware of his tears, her stubborn refusal to give him his way when he tried to pull back made him feel safe. She held him as he shook from cold and horror. In wonder, he began to touch her face and stroke her hair, gradually surrendering to a deep contentment. His lips tingled as they kissed, and their mouths opened together... Nothing had ever felt sweeter to him.
As he pulled her body closer against his, he noticed that she seemed to be wearing something bulky, but no sooner had he become irritated by it, it was gone. She was as naked as he now, and for the first time in his life, he reveled in his own nakedness. He was entranced by the touch of her soft skin against his. But it was also too sudden, too much, and he realized that he didn't know this woman - and he was... no one had ever wanted... he couldn't... no one would... Severus gasped and pulled back in horror - flashing back to Bellatrix's fingers crawling like spiders over his skin.
Zelda let go of him at once, and they faced each other in the dim light of the bedroom. He was panting as if he'd run a long way; her eyes were wide, and her lips were slightly parted. He wasn't even sure what she looked like, but he was deeply drawn to her. Unfortunately, he knew perfectly well that no one had ever found him anything other than ugly. He had accepted that long ago. The bitter lines on his face, invisible while he slept, appeared to Zelda. She looked curiously at him and then she gave a bitter little smile.
"I'm sorry, Severus," she said stiffly. "I really wasn't planning to force myself on you. I may be lonely, but I'm actually not some kind of predator." She started to sit up and realized that her robe was gone. She clutched the comforter to her breasts, looking baffled and ashamed.
Severus stared at her dumbfounded. Was the woman mad? Possibly blind? Through the pounding in his head he thought he heard her apologizing to him, which was absurd. She'd saved his life, cared for him generously and when he tried to spare her the grim reality of his wretched self, she felt hurt!
"What an asinine thing to say," he snapped nastily. "Furthermore, you took the words from my mouth and hearing them from you has proven to me that I am an idiot."
Zelda stared at him, completely confounded. Severus decided that he preferred to be the one speaking for a change, so he'd better say as much as he could, before she spoke again.
"Cat got your tongue?" he asked mockingly. "Good."
She clutched the comforter closer, looking frightened and very vulnerable. He felt a shocking urge to hug her, and while he mastered that impulse his moment passed and she spoke.
"We need to talk when you're strong enough," she said in a weak little voice. "But I'll leave you alone to rest now."
Severus abandoned his terror in the face of hers and said smoothly, "No. I believe you tried that earlier, remember? I am far too weak and pathetic to have to wander around looking for you. You will stay here." He eyed her speculatively, and whispered, "Please?"
Her eyes twinkled reluctantly, and she bowed her head in acquiescence.
"Zelda, come here." Severus held out his hand compellingly. Her hand was shaking, and seeing it, he found the courage to move closer. She looked up at him and he saw that there were tears in her eyes and that her chin was trembling - but she did not look away; she simply waited. "I need to rest and when I wake, I want you here. Will you stay with me?"
She nodded and he sighed, letting go of the last tension in his body. He sank back, pulling her into his arms, and only then remembered, as skin met against skin, that they were both naked. It was the point of no return, he finally admitted to himself, and his hands moved so naturally over her body that he realized he'd been a fool for hesitating earlier. This was easy... This was wonderful!
"I doubt that this is an effective way to rest," she said skeptically, as her hands caressed him in return, and he caught his breath in surprise.
"Oh, I think it is very effective, woman," he purred, as his mouth found her breasts. She gasped. Abandoning common sense, she pulled him over on top of her, face to face and they kissed each other passionately while their hands explored. Finally, he was inside her and then there was only warmth and delight, ecstasy... after which, they slept deeply, held tight in each other's arms.
Severus woke first and didn't recognize his own body for a moment. His head throbbed. His entire body hurt, but surpassing all of that was a dazzling sense of well-being. His arms were around a sleeping woman, whose head fit neatly into his shoulder. She felt soft and good, and he realized he was warm again and feeling remarkably smug. She stirred, and he said, "Zelda?"
"Mmmm," she answered sleepily. She kissed his chest, nuzzled her face against him, and then finally opened drowsy eyes. She made no move, but smiled sweetly at him. "Do you have any circulation in your right arm?" she asked.
Severus considered a moment and then said, "I do not believe so."
He hugged her closer, and the laughter in her eyes sent happiness rushing through him. It felt unnatural for Professor Severus Snape to be happy, but he thought perhaps it was acceptable. Misery would undoubtedly return in time.
Zelda gently released herself from his grasp, saying, "Let your arm recover, Severus, because, well, I gotta pee."
She wasn't the only one, he realized, and he asked, "Where is the bathroom?"
"Go ahead. It's in the hallway, first door on the right," she replied. "There's a blanket on the floor next to the bed; wrap yourself up so you don't get chilled again."
The bathroom was huge and old-fashioned. He stared curiously into the mirror, wondering if he looked as strange as he felt. 'Same ugly git,' he thought resignedly. There would be a scar where the hippogriff slashed his cheek, he realized, and blue bruises showed in stark relief on his white skin. He peered closer at an odd mark on his neck, and to his shameful delight he realized it was a hickey.
"Like those hormonal brats at Hogwarts," he said to himself with a smirk. Watching his reflection smile was a bit unsettling. Nothing could make his nose less hideous and life had carved lines that made him look far older than his thirty-seven years - but there was now a hopeful gleam in his eyes. He decided he couldn't completely hate the way he looked, not so soon after...
A knock on the door startled him, and he clutched his blanket around himself.
"Hey! There's only one bathroom; are you coming out?" Zelda's voice startled him back to the present.
He opened the door and she whizzed past him and closed the door in his face. He went straight back to bed, hoping she would do the same, and she did return. She smiled as he took her into his arms again and responded most satisfactorily when he kissed her. His hands were steadier now, as he slid her robe off her shoulders... but he was not prepared for her sudden question.
"Severus, where's my old blue robe?" she asked. "I was wearing it earlier, and it's gone. In fact I remember, oh, Goddess..." her voice trailed away uncertainly.
He groaned. Now that she mentioned it, he remembered quite well what had happened, although he hadn't lost control before - not since he was very young. Before he could consider the consequences, the words slipped out far too easily, "Zelda, I am a wizard."
She sat up and looked enquiringly at him. He didn't know what he expected, never having told a Muggle what he was before, and he kept talkingæ babbling really, to fill the growing silence. "And I think I remember that your robe was annoying me. I did not realize it, but I wanted the damned thing gone very badly and lost control of my power. It is something that hasn't happened since I was a young child. I cannot tell you where it is, and well... I am sorry."
"A wizard," she said slowly, raising one eyebrow enquiringly. "Real magic?" she asked, "Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble, broomsticks, Abra Kadabra... Merlin? That kind of wizard?"
"Erm, well, yes," he answered apprehensively. He wasn't sure exactly what reaction he had expected from her, he thought, but it was not this calm voice.
"Show me," she said, deadly serious.
He said dazedly, sounding stupid to himself, "But I don't have my wand."
"Is it your wand that's magical, or is it you?"
'She is a quick one,' Severus thought. Gathering his wits about him, he kindled a tiny white fire in the palm of his hand, held it toward her for a moment, and then extinguished the little flame.
She grinned appreciatively, but simply said, "Thank you."
"That's all?" he asked in disbelief. "No other questions from you?"
"Am I that obviously nosey?" she asked ruefully. "I have endless questions about you, about magic, about everything. But you're not up to answering them, so let me savor the gift you just gave me."
"What gift?" he asked curiously.
"Ah, Severus," she answered dreamily, "all my life I've wondered, but in my world magic is a cheat, a game, or pitiful self-delusion. Knowing that you're real, and you're magic, I possess an amazing piece of truth. Real magic exists. It's hard to get the truth of anything. So thank you."
She relaxed again, head on his shoulder. His arms closed around her, but he was troubled, and she knew it. "You didn't have to tell me, you know. You could have tried to make up an excuse," she said. "Are you sorry?"
"I have never told a Muggle before," he said pensively. "I never thought that I would. But I do not seem able to lie to you, so when you asked me... I told you."
She thought about that. "Wow. You haven't lied to me, have you? How novel. Fascinating, really, it's as if you knew..."
"Knew what?"
"That offering me real honesty is the way to get anything you want from me," she said.
Severus thought about that and replied, "You haven't lied to me either." It was a statement, not a question.
"Why would I, Severus?"
"Many people have. I don't believe much of what people tell me, and whenever I do hear the truth, it is generally unpleasant," he said matter-of-factly.
Zelda pondered that for a moment and then leaned over to gently kiss his furrowed brow, asking, "What's a Muggle?"
"A non-magical person," Severus said quietly.
"It doesn't sound like a very nice word to me," she said disapprovingly. "It sounds demeaning."
"You're right," he responded, thinking bitterly of far worse words he had heard from his former associates. His memories were returning, along with the pain. He wanted to go back in time one hour and still be sleeping in Zelda's arms, blissfully forgetful.
"May we stop talking about this now?" he asked abruptly. "My head hurts, and I don't want to think for the moment."
"Oh, Severus, I'm sorry," she said, as she subsided into his arms, and kissed the tender skin of his neck.
He thought briefly about continuing where her question had interrupted them. But he still felt very weak. He went to sleep - confident this time that she would be there when he woke again.
The cats came out of hiding, and she remembered that Melissa was supposed to come and feed them. She fed them distractedly without speaking. Then she wrote a brief note, taped it to the back door, locked the doors after that, and then checked the time. She was amazed to see that it was only half past noon.
Twelve hours ago, she thought, her life was as it had been for years, completely, magnificently ordinary. Boring, but acceptable. Blessedly free of painful relationships, free of lies. One wretched marriage that ended horribly - devastating her emotionally and financially - was enough. Then there were the sorry, needy losers; men who thought a divorced woman her age would do anything for a little attention...
Zelda had done everything but take a formal vow of celibacy - and that was only because she was superstitious enough to not want to tempt fate. She had simply decided to mind her own bitter, cynical business and found life alone surprisingly good. Now... it was too hard to think about what just happened.
Throwing herself down on the couch, she pulled a blanket over herself. Her last thought, as she dozed off, was that if she hadn't found Severus completely helpless, she would have been terrified of him.
Severus drifted in strange dreams, sleeping deeply and then rousing again and again. Bellatrix Lestrange appeared above him, and she smiled gently at him, as she stabbed him with a knife... over and over. "NOOOOO!" he howled as he woke, confused, to the sound of his own voice.
He stared around a darkened room and saw nothing familiar, but vaguely felt there was something important that he must do. He climbed out of bed, and opened the door. He had no idea where he was, but he followed the short hallway into a larger room where he saw a sleeping form nestled on a squashy old couch. His legs were quivering and he needed to sit. He sank down on the couch, unfortunately on top of the sleeping woman.
She sat up suddenly, saying, "What is it?"
He slowly said, "Zelda?"
Zelda rubbed her eyes in consternation. She saw Severus there, naked and shivering, staring with unfocused eyes. Wrapping her blanket around him, she led him back to the bedroom. She put him back into bed and tucked the comforter over him. Since it now seemed inevitable that she'd end up there, she slid cautiously into the other side of the bed. She reached over to touch his hand, and he turned over carefully to look at her.
The crease between her brows showed the depth of her worry, and she said resignedly, "I won't leave you again."
He laced her fingers firmly into his. He was not able to reason, but this was important. He needed her to help him understand something. They fell asleep at almost the same time, and still he held her hand. His dream woke them both a few hours later.
...He was running to the Astronomy Tower, wand at the ready, plunging untouched through a group of Death Eaters who were fighting members of the Order. He feared what he would see when he reached the top, and when he got there, he saw that it was worse than he'd thought... Dumbledore was leaning against the wall, and he looked near death. A poison, it seemed, must have protected this Horcrux. Draco was there. He was standing still, but his wand was lowered. Snape was relieved to see that facing Dumbledore had made Draco realize that he couldn't kill the old wizard.
Snape strode through the Death Eaters and pushed Draco aside to face Dumbledore. He knew what he had to do... but now, at the moment when everything depended on his resolution, he wanted to run. He wanted to attack the lumpish idiots who were clamoring at him to kill his only friend. Then Dumbledore spoke, saying, "Severus... please." Their eyes met and Dumbledore knew what he was thinking.
Dumbledore always knew, he was always right, and there was no way for Snape to escape this monstrous destiny. He raised his wand, but it vanished. Something was holding his hand. He tried to pull away... He was weeping and the tower vanished. Warm arms circled him and he was safe, but Dumbledore was gone forever...
Zelda held Severus against her as the first sobs tore through him, trying to keep him from thrashing around and hurting himself. Suddenly he stopped resisting and buried his face against her neck. His first passionate anguish eventually gave way to the exhausted tears of a heartbroken child, then silence. He tensed and tried to pull away from her... but Zelda didn't let him go. She smoothed his hair tenderly away from his face and kept stroking his cheek, his neck, rubbing his back, until his muscles began to relax.
She knew her own decision was made when she shivered briefly and deliberately kissed his forehead, his cheeks and his mouth. She knew what would probably follow and hoped it wouldn't kill him.
His anguished dream tore at Severus; Dumbledore's death, Bellatrix's cackles, humiliation, fear and pain, aching loneliness... but the warm body in his arms soothed him. When he woke again, shamefully aware of his tears, her stubborn refusal to give him his way when he tried to pull back made him feel safe. She held him as he shook from cold and horror. In wonder, he began to touch her face and stroke her hair, gradually surrendering to a deep contentment. His lips tingled as they kissed, and their mouths opened together... Nothing had ever felt sweeter to him.
As he pulled her body closer against his, he noticed that she seemed to be wearing something bulky, but no sooner had he become irritated by it, it was gone. She was as naked as he now, and for the first time in his life, he reveled in his own nakedness. He was entranced by the touch of her soft skin against his. But it was also too sudden, too much, and he realized that he didn't know this woman - and he was... no one had ever wanted... he couldn't... no one would... Severus gasped and pulled back in horror - flashing back to Bellatrix's fingers crawling like spiders over his skin.
Zelda let go of him at once, and they faced each other in the dim light of the bedroom. He was panting as if he'd run a long way; her eyes were wide, and her lips were slightly parted. He wasn't even sure what she looked like, but he was deeply drawn to her. Unfortunately, he knew perfectly well that no one had ever found him anything other than ugly. He had accepted that long ago. The bitter lines on his face, invisible while he slept, appeared to Zelda. She looked curiously at him and then she gave a bitter little smile.
"I'm sorry, Severus," she said stiffly. "I really wasn't planning to force myself on you. I may be lonely, but I'm actually not some kind of predator." She started to sit up and realized that her robe was gone. She clutched the comforter to her breasts, looking baffled and ashamed.
Severus stared at her dumbfounded. Was the woman mad? Possibly blind? Through the pounding in his head he thought he heard her apologizing to him, which was absurd. She'd saved his life, cared for him generously and when he tried to spare her the grim reality of his wretched self, she felt hurt!
"What an asinine thing to say," he snapped nastily. "Furthermore, you took the words from my mouth and hearing them from you has proven to me that I am an idiot."
Zelda stared at him, completely confounded. Severus decided that he preferred to be the one speaking for a change, so he'd better say as much as he could, before she spoke again.
"Cat got your tongue?" he asked mockingly. "Good."
She clutched the comforter closer, looking frightened and very vulnerable. He felt a shocking urge to hug her, and while he mastered that impulse his moment passed and she spoke.
"We need to talk when you're strong enough," she said in a weak little voice. "But I'll leave you alone to rest now."
Severus abandoned his terror in the face of hers and said smoothly, "No. I believe you tried that earlier, remember? I am far too weak and pathetic to have to wander around looking for you. You will stay here." He eyed her speculatively, and whispered, "Please?"
Her eyes twinkled reluctantly, and she bowed her head in acquiescence.
"Zelda, come here." Severus held out his hand compellingly. Her hand was shaking, and seeing it, he found the courage to move closer. She looked up at him and he saw that there were tears in her eyes and that her chin was trembling - but she did not look away; she simply waited. "I need to rest and when I wake, I want you here. Will you stay with me?"
She nodded and he sighed, letting go of the last tension in his body. He sank back, pulling her into his arms, and only then remembered, as skin met against skin, that they were both naked. It was the point of no return, he finally admitted to himself, and his hands moved so naturally over her body that he realized he'd been a fool for hesitating earlier. This was easy... This was wonderful!
"I doubt that this is an effective way to rest," she said skeptically, as her hands caressed him in return, and he caught his breath in surprise.
"Oh, I think it is very effective, woman," he purred, as his mouth found her breasts. She gasped. Abandoning common sense, she pulled him over on top of her, face to face and they kissed each other passionately while their hands explored. Finally, he was inside her and then there was only warmth and delight, ecstasy... after which, they slept deeply, held tight in each other's arms.
Severus woke first and didn't recognize his own body for a moment. His head throbbed. His entire body hurt, but surpassing all of that was a dazzling sense of well-being. His arms were around a sleeping woman, whose head fit neatly into his shoulder. She felt soft and good, and he realized he was warm again and feeling remarkably smug. She stirred, and he said, "Zelda?"
"Mmmm," she answered sleepily. She kissed his chest, nuzzled her face against him, and then finally opened drowsy eyes. She made no move, but smiled sweetly at him. "Do you have any circulation in your right arm?" she asked.
Severus considered a moment and then said, "I do not believe so."
He hugged her closer, and the laughter in her eyes sent happiness rushing through him. It felt unnatural for Professor Severus Snape to be happy, but he thought perhaps it was acceptable. Misery would undoubtedly return in time.
Zelda gently released herself from his grasp, saying, "Let your arm recover, Severus, because, well, I gotta pee."
She wasn't the only one, he realized, and he asked, "Where is the bathroom?"
"Go ahead. It's in the hallway, first door on the right," she replied. "There's a blanket on the floor next to the bed; wrap yourself up so you don't get chilled again."
The bathroom was huge and old-fashioned. He stared curiously into the mirror, wondering if he looked as strange as he felt. 'Same ugly git,' he thought resignedly. There would be a scar where the hippogriff slashed his cheek, he realized, and blue bruises showed in stark relief on his white skin. He peered closer at an odd mark on his neck, and to his shameful delight he realized it was a hickey.
"Like those hormonal brats at Hogwarts," he said to himself with a smirk. Watching his reflection smile was a bit unsettling. Nothing could make his nose less hideous and life had carved lines that made him look far older than his thirty-seven years - but there was now a hopeful gleam in his eyes. He decided he couldn't completely hate the way he looked, not so soon after...
A knock on the door startled him, and he clutched his blanket around himself.
"Hey! There's only one bathroom; are you coming out?" Zelda's voice startled him back to the present.
He opened the door and she whizzed past him and closed the door in his face. He went straight back to bed, hoping she would do the same, and she did return. She smiled as he took her into his arms again and responded most satisfactorily when he kissed her. His hands were steadier now, as he slid her robe off her shoulders... but he was not prepared for her sudden question.
"Severus, where's my old blue robe?" she asked. "I was wearing it earlier, and it's gone. In fact I remember, oh, Goddess..." her voice trailed away uncertainly.
He groaned. Now that she mentioned it, he remembered quite well what had happened, although he hadn't lost control before - not since he was very young. Before he could consider the consequences, the words slipped out far too easily, "Zelda, I am a wizard."
She sat up and looked enquiringly at him. He didn't know what he expected, never having told a Muggle what he was before, and he kept talkingæ babbling really, to fill the growing silence. "And I think I remember that your robe was annoying me. I did not realize it, but I wanted the damned thing gone very badly and lost control of my power. It is something that hasn't happened since I was a young child. I cannot tell you where it is, and well... I am sorry."
"A wizard," she said slowly, raising one eyebrow enquiringly. "Real magic?" she asked, "Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble, broomsticks, Abra Kadabra... Merlin? That kind of wizard?"
"Erm, well, yes," he answered apprehensively. He wasn't sure exactly what reaction he had expected from her, he thought, but it was not this calm voice.
"Show me," she said, deadly serious.
He said dazedly, sounding stupid to himself, "But I don't have my wand."
"Is it your wand that's magical, or is it you?"
'She is a quick one,' Severus thought. Gathering his wits about him, he kindled a tiny white fire in the palm of his hand, held it toward her for a moment, and then extinguished the little flame.
She grinned appreciatively, but simply said, "Thank you."
"That's all?" he asked in disbelief. "No other questions from you?"
"Am I that obviously nosey?" she asked ruefully. "I have endless questions about you, about magic, about everything. But you're not up to answering them, so let me savor the gift you just gave me."
"What gift?" he asked curiously.
"Ah, Severus," she answered dreamily, "all my life I've wondered, but in my world magic is a cheat, a game, or pitiful self-delusion. Knowing that you're real, and you're magic, I possess an amazing piece of truth. Real magic exists. It's hard to get the truth of anything. So thank you."
She relaxed again, head on his shoulder. His arms closed around her, but he was troubled, and she knew it. "You didn't have to tell me, you know. You could have tried to make up an excuse," she said. "Are you sorry?"
"I have never told a Muggle before," he said pensively. "I never thought that I would. But I do not seem able to lie to you, so when you asked me... I told you."
She thought about that. "Wow. You haven't lied to me, have you? How novel. Fascinating, really, it's as if you knew..."
"Knew what?"
"That offering me real honesty is the way to get anything you want from me," she said.
Severus thought about that and replied, "You haven't lied to me either." It was a statement, not a question.
"Why would I, Severus?"
"Many people have. I don't believe much of what people tell me, and whenever I do hear the truth, it is generally unpleasant," he said matter-of-factly.
Zelda pondered that for a moment and then leaned over to gently kiss his furrowed brow, asking, "What's a Muggle?"
"A non-magical person," Severus said quietly.
"It doesn't sound like a very nice word to me," she said disapprovingly. "It sounds demeaning."
"You're right," he responded, thinking bitterly of far worse words he had heard from his former associates. His memories were returning, along with the pain. He wanted to go back in time one hour and still be sleeping in Zelda's arms, blissfully forgetful.
"May we stop talking about this now?" he asked abruptly. "My head hurts, and I don't want to think for the moment."
"Oh, Severus, I'm sorry," she said, as she subsided into his arms, and kissed the tender skin of his neck.
He thought briefly about continuing where her question had interrupted them. But he still felt very weak. He went to sleep - confident this time that she would be there when he woke again.
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