Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Give 'Em Hell Kid
Secret's POV
I drove around town for about two hours trying to decide where I could go now. I knew I couldn't go to Jeremy and Nikki's apartment because they had the twins. I also couldn't go to Patrick's because he would never understand. Gerard had gone to visit Brooklyn in New York and Kyndall would be at Mikey's place. That only left Kyndall and Alyx's house but I couldn't go there either for obvious reasons. Even though Alyx and Pete were no longer together it would still hurt her to know what we had done. I decided my only option was to go home and face Frank. I knew he would be mad and it would most likely destroy him but he had to know. It was better if he found out from me first.
I turned the car around and drove home. To say I was nervous would be the understatement of the century. When I finally pulled into the drive I shut the engine off and just sat there trying to build up enough courage to go inside. After about ten minutes I took a deep breath and got out of the car. I slowly trudged to the door, unlocked it, and went inside.
The house was dark and silent as I made my way upstairs. I stopped outside of my bedroom door. I could hear faint sobbing. It broke my heart to hear him like this and to know I was only going to make it worse. I took a deep breath and stepped inside, closing the door behind me. I slowly walked to the bed and sat beside his shaking frame. Gently, I lay a hand on his back.
"Frankie?"
He glanced up at me through his tears.
"Secret? Secret, I am sorry. Please don't leave me." He sobbed.
"Shh Frankie. Listen, I need you to sit up and talk to me."
He slowly sat up and wiped the tears from his swollen, bloodshot eyes.
"I'll do anything Secret. Anything.
"Frank, I have to tell you something but first I want you to know that I love you. I love you more than you will ever know. What you did hurt me. It tore my heart into but I did something stupid as well. Something that is going to hurt you and I am sorry. I feel horrible and I wish I could take it back but what's done is done."
"Secret, after what I did to you I deserve to be hurt. I'm sorry. Whatever it is it doesn't matter."
"It does matter. I have to tell you this or the guilt will eat away at me."
"O-Okay."
"Frank, after you told me what you did I was hurt and angry at you. I never wanted to see you again. I wanted to hurt you as much as you had hurt me. So, I did to you what you did to me."
"You ch-cheated?" He sobbed. I nodded.
"I-I...I-I....oh god no...I-I..."
"Frank, I'm sorry. I wish I could take it back. I really do but I can't."
"You know what? I don't care. It hurts but I don't care as long as you don't leave me and take my kids away from me."
"Wait Frank. I think you should know who I cheated with."
"I don't want to know. Please Seek, don't."
"I have to tell you. You have to know."
"Come on baby. Please, let's just not talk about it anymore."
"Frank, it was Pete."
His head snapped back, his eyes widened, and his jaw dropped in shock.
"P-Pete?" I nodded.
"Secret, how could you? How could he?"
"I was hurt and the only place I knew to go was Pete's and it just kind of happened. Frankie, I'm sorry. He tried to stop me but I wouldn't let him."
"Oh yeah. I'm sure you totally raped him." He snorted.
"Frank, please. I know I hurt you but you hurt me too."
"It's not like I slept with your best friend." He growled.
"No. You slept with a fucking stripper! At least I know I'm clean!"
"You didn't use protection?!"
"Did you?" I countered.
"Well, I-I....that's besides the point. How can I ever trust you alone with him again?!"
"How can I ever trust you while you're on tour again?!"
"Because I-I...."
"Let's not forget our past, dear Frankie. As I recall you are the one who cheated on me repeatedly!"
"You cheated too!"
"I kissed Mikey! Once, I might add. How many times did you fuck Ashley?!"
"The past is irrelevant to this situation. I haven't cheated on you in over four years!"
"Oh really? And how do I know that's not a lie?!"
"Because it's not. I fucked up one time!"
"And so did I!"
"But Pete?! Come on Secret, that's harsh."
"A stripper is so much worse!"
"No, it's not. I'll never see her again. Pete lives twenty minutes away!"
"You're right, I'm sorry but I can' change the past. Now can we please just go to bed and talk about this tomorrow?"
"I can't stay here. Not right now. I'm going to Gerard's for a while. I would appreciate it if I could pick the twins up and spend some time with them tomorrow."
"I-I...."
My throat constricted as hot tears welled up in my eyes, threatening to spill over.
"Y-Yeah. O-Okay."
He sighed. "Secret, I still love you but I need some time away from you. I need time to think."
"O-Okay."
I watched as he gathered some clothing and toiletries into a bag to take with him. It pained me to know he was leaving me again and maybe for good this time.
'What would I do without him? What about Rayne and Lyric? How could I explain daddy not being at home? Would they blame me for his absence?' These were just a few of the thoughts bouncing around my skull as I watched him gather his things.
The tears poured, blurring my vision. He turned and gave me a sad smile before leaving the room. As I heard the front door slam and his engine roar to life I lost it. The salty tears streamed faster. Anger and self-hatred consumed me as I threw picture frames, vases, lamps, anything I could get my hands on. Glass shattered and wood splintered around me until exhaustion overtook me and I crumpled to my knees.
A picture caught my eye and I gripped it between my fingers. It was a picture of Frank and I. I was pregnant with the twins and Frank was bent down kissing my protruding stomach as I giggled above him. A choked sob escaped my throat as I curled into a ball clutching the picture to my chest while tears steadily streamed around me. My heart ached for what I had lost. For what I may never have again.
xo britt
I drove around town for about two hours trying to decide where I could go now. I knew I couldn't go to Jeremy and Nikki's apartment because they had the twins. I also couldn't go to Patrick's because he would never understand. Gerard had gone to visit Brooklyn in New York and Kyndall would be at Mikey's place. That only left Kyndall and Alyx's house but I couldn't go there either for obvious reasons. Even though Alyx and Pete were no longer together it would still hurt her to know what we had done. I decided my only option was to go home and face Frank. I knew he would be mad and it would most likely destroy him but he had to know. It was better if he found out from me first.
I turned the car around and drove home. To say I was nervous would be the understatement of the century. When I finally pulled into the drive I shut the engine off and just sat there trying to build up enough courage to go inside. After about ten minutes I took a deep breath and got out of the car. I slowly trudged to the door, unlocked it, and went inside.
The house was dark and silent as I made my way upstairs. I stopped outside of my bedroom door. I could hear faint sobbing. It broke my heart to hear him like this and to know I was only going to make it worse. I took a deep breath and stepped inside, closing the door behind me. I slowly walked to the bed and sat beside his shaking frame. Gently, I lay a hand on his back.
"Frankie?"
He glanced up at me through his tears.
"Secret? Secret, I am sorry. Please don't leave me." He sobbed.
"Shh Frankie. Listen, I need you to sit up and talk to me."
He slowly sat up and wiped the tears from his swollen, bloodshot eyes.
"I'll do anything Secret. Anything.
"Frank, I have to tell you something but first I want you to know that I love you. I love you more than you will ever know. What you did hurt me. It tore my heart into but I did something stupid as well. Something that is going to hurt you and I am sorry. I feel horrible and I wish I could take it back but what's done is done."
"Secret, after what I did to you I deserve to be hurt. I'm sorry. Whatever it is it doesn't matter."
"It does matter. I have to tell you this or the guilt will eat away at me."
"O-Okay."
"Frank, after you told me what you did I was hurt and angry at you. I never wanted to see you again. I wanted to hurt you as much as you had hurt me. So, I did to you what you did to me."
"You ch-cheated?" He sobbed. I nodded.
"I-I...I-I....oh god no...I-I..."
"Frank, I'm sorry. I wish I could take it back. I really do but I can't."
"You know what? I don't care. It hurts but I don't care as long as you don't leave me and take my kids away from me."
"Wait Frank. I think you should know who I cheated with."
"I don't want to know. Please Seek, don't."
"I have to tell you. You have to know."
"Come on baby. Please, let's just not talk about it anymore."
"Frank, it was Pete."
His head snapped back, his eyes widened, and his jaw dropped in shock.
"P-Pete?" I nodded.
"Secret, how could you? How could he?"
"I was hurt and the only place I knew to go was Pete's and it just kind of happened. Frankie, I'm sorry. He tried to stop me but I wouldn't let him."
"Oh yeah. I'm sure you totally raped him." He snorted.
"Frank, please. I know I hurt you but you hurt me too."
"It's not like I slept with your best friend." He growled.
"No. You slept with a fucking stripper! At least I know I'm clean!"
"You didn't use protection?!"
"Did you?" I countered.
"Well, I-I....that's besides the point. How can I ever trust you alone with him again?!"
"How can I ever trust you while you're on tour again?!"
"Because I-I...."
"Let's not forget our past, dear Frankie. As I recall you are the one who cheated on me repeatedly!"
"You cheated too!"
"I kissed Mikey! Once, I might add. How many times did you fuck Ashley?!"
"The past is irrelevant to this situation. I haven't cheated on you in over four years!"
"Oh really? And how do I know that's not a lie?!"
"Because it's not. I fucked up one time!"
"And so did I!"
"But Pete?! Come on Secret, that's harsh."
"A stripper is so much worse!"
"No, it's not. I'll never see her again. Pete lives twenty minutes away!"
"You're right, I'm sorry but I can' change the past. Now can we please just go to bed and talk about this tomorrow?"
"I can't stay here. Not right now. I'm going to Gerard's for a while. I would appreciate it if I could pick the twins up and spend some time with them tomorrow."
"I-I...."
My throat constricted as hot tears welled up in my eyes, threatening to spill over.
"Y-Yeah. O-Okay."
He sighed. "Secret, I still love you but I need some time away from you. I need time to think."
"O-Okay."
I watched as he gathered some clothing and toiletries into a bag to take with him. It pained me to know he was leaving me again and maybe for good this time.
'What would I do without him? What about Rayne and Lyric? How could I explain daddy not being at home? Would they blame me for his absence?' These were just a few of the thoughts bouncing around my skull as I watched him gather his things.
The tears poured, blurring my vision. He turned and gave me a sad smile before leaving the room. As I heard the front door slam and his engine roar to life I lost it. The salty tears streamed faster. Anger and self-hatred consumed me as I threw picture frames, vases, lamps, anything I could get my hands on. Glass shattered and wood splintered around me until exhaustion overtook me and I crumpled to my knees.
A picture caught my eye and I gripped it between my fingers. It was a picture of Frank and I. I was pregnant with the twins and Frank was bent down kissing my protruding stomach as I giggled above him. A choked sob escaped my throat as I curled into a ball clutching the picture to my chest while tears steadily streamed around me. My heart ached for what I had lost. For what I may never have again.
xo britt
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