FicWad

A/N: Hello deary. Well first, thanks for reading. This story is one I've been thinking about for two years and barely decided to write it out. I'm going try to get this little darling up and running. It's not going to be a pretty one, it will involve NC-17 themes, as I plan to make it, since I have a sweet tooth for dark stories. Anyways, sorry to give you the lame ass 'I wrote this at 2 am' excuse, but I did infact write it at 2 am since it's the only time I can concentrate (: Nevertheless, the upcoming chapters will make a difference, this is just to break the ice. The story will take off next chapter, including the guys. Thanks for reading and reviews + rates would be nice. Oh and before I get, this story is 100 % fiction. xo Gia
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Gia

What do you do when you feel like this night could be your last night? I've been feeling this since I was 7, when it all happened.

smash! I jump as I hear glass shatter and random slurs of a drunk man, and the even worse shrilling of a woman. I close my eyes and cry when I hear a slap. He's at it again. My father, the alcoholic piece of shit that's made my life hell. The man that hits my mom until she bleeds, the man who hits me until I pass out. I never understood why my father did the things he did. He was a kind man, and loving, but then he turned into a monster. The alcohol consumed his mind and made this person I wanted dead.

"Gia!" I hear him call as I widen my eyes and my first instinct is to run into my closet. It's small, very small, but there's a good chance he couldn't pull me out of there. I would try the bed, but last time he found there, he beat me with the belt...buckle.

I squirm into the closet and shut it quietly as I sit in the corner, nothing but darkness and the smell of drywall engulf me as I hear his footsteps at stomping at the stairs. I box my ears tighter and tighter with every stomp. I can't contain the tears that fall down my cheeks as I cower into the corner, only wishing I could disappear. The door slams open and I'm shaking violently as I feel his presence. It always all I could ever do when he was around.

"Where are you you bitch?" he says into the air while I slowly open the door a tad to watch him. He's searching around my room and under the bed, only to get pissed when he can't find me.

"I know you're here you slut!" he yells as I jump when his voice echoes off the walls. I shake my head as I wrap my arms around myself. I'm too old to be putting up with this shit.

God if you're listening, please make him go away. is what I whisper inside my head, terrified to even breathe as he keeps looking for me, making a point to knock all the shit on my dressers onto the ground. I wait for him to give up, and eventually I hear him sigh in annoyance and a door slam shut. Silence is followed as I feel absolutely unsteady. It's almost too quiet. I peel the closet open as I slowly step put and stand up on shaky feet. I reach for the wall when I feel someone grab me by the hair as I scream.

"Boo."

Lila

I stared outside my window for what seemed like hours. The rain pounded fell down from the sky with such force, it was almost like bullets. I shivered at the sound of thunder rumbling in the air. The heaviness of my heart would not subside as I looked around the room. No matter what I did, nothing seemed to please me. I didn't understand why I acted this way. What was wrong with me? These thoughts I think are not normal. I'm not normal.

It's an everyday struggle for me, I let it run my life, and I never knew why. My life was good, why wasn't I happy?

It's like it eats away at you. Consumes your thoughts and robs you of your mind. Makes you feel this emptiness...hatred. This evilness that nestles inside you and controls you. I wasn't myself anymore. My soul didn't belong to me, someone else owned it. I was never this nasty. I was never this cruel. I never hurt anyone, nor myself, but that's all I seemed to do. And I never knew why.

That was the hardest thing of all.

I carried this burden for so long, I don't know how much more I can take. I just wanna be free.

I walk into my bathroom and open the medicine cabinet as I stare at all the items inside. It's late and I know no one in the house is awake. I might actually have a chance this time. I smile as I reach for several bottles of pills. Different pills, different uses. I didn't know which one to pick. They all looked so inviting. I take a chance with the middle and empty all the pills onto my hand. I grab a cup and fill it with tap water as I prepare myself for the inevitable. I swallow each pill individually and let them slide down into my system where I wait for them to kick in. I close my eyes as I sit on the floor and think back to a time where I was happy.

If I had to choose, it was when I was 7. I was at my grandmother's house. She lived by this huge field with nothing but grass and trees. Me and my brothers used to play hide and seek with each other. I was always the one to win. I would climb this oak tree and sit there while waiting for them to find me, they never did. Up there I felt powerful. Like I mattered and nothing could touch me. I could spread those wings of mine and fly into the sky if I wanted to. I was invincible. I was me.

But happiness doesn't last forever. Now look at me. I'm a mess. I'm broken. I didn't deserve to be here anymore. I was pathetic. I tried this same thing three times before and I failed. I never went through with it, but I was determined to change that.

I smile as I feel my body start to feel lighter. My heart is racing just a little more and my mind goes wherever it wants to go. I didn't care anymore, nothing mattered. It was going to be okay, I could feel it. I slump to the floor where my eyes close and I don't dare stop it. Faces of my friends enter my mind as I wish things could be different, but they would understand.

Things were better this way.

Willow

I winced as I used the foundation to cover up the bruise on my cheek. It stung ever so slightly as I managed to cover it up. At least it wasn't as bad as it could've been. I shake my head as I chew on my lip. It was impossible to wonder why he was the way he was. Was he loved me one minute, and then he hit me the next. He was unpredictable, but I could never get away from him. He wouldn't give me that satisfaction.

"Willow, Reese is here." my mom smiled at me as she appeared at my door. Before I could object, Reese walked in as he smiled at my mom politely while I shivered. When she left his smile faded as he looked at me.

"Hey sugar." he said softly as he grabbed me and kissed me roughly. I gasped for air as he pulled back with a giggle.

"Did you miss me?" he asked as I nodded.

"O-of course." I replied softly as he grabbed me by the waist once more.

"How much?" his voice taunted as he pulled me against him roughly. I struggled in his grasp as he held me tighter while I gasped.

"Reese, stop." I whispered as he glared at me.

"Or what?" he retorted as his hands wandered over me while I still struggled. When I managed to break free, my reflex was to punch him in the face, I stood frozen as I actually did it. He stumbled back in shock as he felt his cheek.

"You little bitch." he hissed as he hit me back while I screamed. With all the commotion, why didn't my parents hear me? I could've screamed louder but I couldn't find the voice too. When his hands reached for my skirt, I fought him off enough to fall on the ground and get back up before running to my window as I slid out. I stood on the rooftop and looked back and forth before jumping, missing his hands that tried to grab me. I screamed as I fell to the floor with a thump. I whimpered as I tried to move, but couldn't. I willed myself to get up as I made myself run away from him and my home.

"You emo bitch, get back here!" he yelled as I kept running until I couldn't see him anymore. I was finished, I couldn't live like this anymore. I had nothing else to give, except to run.

Vanity

"Yeah I like want to spend another night in this fucking place!" I yelled as I threw my clothes into my bag while my parents watched me.

"What is wrong with you?! We didn't raise you like this!" my mom shouted as I rolled my eyes. I stopped caring what they thought a long time ago. It was always the same shit. I kept packing my stuff as I figured I had nothing left to lose. My life was shit, it couldn't really get worse this.

"If you walk out that door, you're not welcome anymore." my father warned me as I walked down stairs with my stuff and opened it before looking back at them.

"Promise?" I smirked as I slammed the door shut. I didn't need them, I didn't need anyone. Rebellious my ass, I've heard it all before.

Should I be concerned that I didn't care if I was homeless now? Cause I don't. I felt...amazing. Like I could finally breathe. I couldn't change who I was. I'm a bitch, a rule breaker, I'm everything a parent despises.

"So fucking what?" I ask myself out loud as I walk down the street and into the night as I take in the fresh air. I never thought leaving would feel this good. I was screwed up alright.

With the hope of at least finding somewhere to crash for tonight, I walk to Lila's. It's only a block and I manage to get there in five minutes. I walk to the side of the house and knock on the window. I see a light on, so obviously she's home.

"Lila!" I whisper as I tap the surface once more. I grow impatient when I don't see her coming.

"Goddamn it, Lila!" I hiss as I sigh and wait by the window. When I don't hear anything again, I slide the window open and slip inside.

"Lila?" I whisper into the empty room as I scan the bathroom door. It's light is on and I slowly walk to it and open it a little. I peek in and look around, only to find her slumped on the ground looking less than alive.

"Lila!" I yelled as I dropped to the ground and grabbed her face. She was pale and still as I shook her.

"Wake up. Come on wake up." I urge her as she continues to not move as I feel tears fill my eyes.

"Fucking not again." I sigh as I see the empty bottle. I continue to shake her until I see her start to move.

"Come on. Wake up." I said hastily as she slowly opens her eyes.

"Van..." she whispers as I nod and cup her cheeks.

"Yes it's me. What are you doing Lila? You promised me you wouldn't do it again." I whispered back as tears fell down my cheeks as she whimpered.

"I'm sorry. I just...can't do it anymore." she starts to cry as I hold her while the both of us cry together. I shake my head as I realized each and every one of us was fucked up. And we needed to get out before it was too late...

Willow

I fall on my knees when I no longer have the energy to run. I gasp for breath as I clutch the ground underneath me and feel my heart beat faster than it ever had before. I fear a panic attack as I grip my chest and struggle to calm myself. I manage to get up and make my way to the only place I know I can go. I notice the window is open as I look inside. I crawl in as I call for someone when I hear whimpers in the bathroom. I gasp when Vanity is holding Lila in her hands and crying.

"What happened?!" I shouted as she looked at me and shook her head.

"She did it again." she whispered as I fell to the ground and looked at Lila.

"Why?" I asked as she shook her head once more.

"Come on. Lets move her." I urge as we help Lila onto her bed as I hold a hand to my head.

"Are you okay? What happened to you?" Vanity asks as she observes the bruise on my cheek as I sigh.

"I don't want to talk about it." I reply, too worn out to say anything. She nods as we both stand there. I notice her bags as I shake my head.

"You left?" I asked her as she nods and shrugs.

"So?" she asks as if it's not a big deal. I feel my heart get even heavier. This was too much. I hear several whimpers before I see someone fall through the window. I widen my eyes as I see it's Gia. Her face is bloody and her clothes are tattered.

"Gia, what the hell?!" I gasp as I run to her as she's crying.

"He did it again." she whispers as I help her up while she stumbles.

"For fuck sake." I mutter. What else could go wrong? Me and Vanity clean her up while she barely stays conscious. When we finish, she doesn't look too bad, just the bruises that decorate her skin. I look around at all my friends and for some reason, I break down and fall to the floor sobbing.

"What's wrong with us?" I whisper. "Why are we in so many fucked positions? Look at us!" I cry out. "My boyfriend beats me, your dad beats you, you left home, and you." I say pointing to Lila. "You tried to kill yourself. Again!" I say as she looks down in shame as I shake my head.

"Can't you see this isn't right? We're falling apart by the seams." I whisper as silence fills the room while I try to ignore the burning in my chest.

"We should leave." Vanity put in as I looked at her.

"What?" I asked confused.

"We should leave. We don't need this fucking place, what has it ever done for us except make our lives miserable. We should just go." she whispers and holds her hands out as if she has nothing else to help the situation. I look down.

"We can't just go." I remind her as she rolls her eye.

"Yes we can." Gia speaks up as I look at her.

"Van is right. We don't have anything except each other. If we stay, it's only going to be worse. If we go, we have a chance of starting over." she says softly while Vanity smiles.

"It could be different. Much different." she nods while looking at Lila.

"Each and every one of us needs to start over. We deserve that much." she adds as we all find ourselves nodding. I feel defeated as I realize she was right.

"Where would we go? We don't have a car or money." I point out.

"We have a car." Lila whispers. "We could take my dad's."

"There you go." Vanity shrugs. "We'll figure it out as it comes. Right now, we need to focus on getting out." she replies. "Are you in or out?" she asks me as I look at her for a moment while thinking. I stutter back. Stay or go? Either way, both options didn't sound good, but at least one was better than the other.

"I'm in." I whisper as she smiles.

"Good." she nods. "Well, are we staying or going?" she asks the other two as they nod.

"One rule though." Gia cut in.

"What?" Vanity asks with a slight sigh.

"We can never look back."