FicWad

A/N: Guuuyyyyys! Woow, I checked my chapters the other day and found out they’d all turned green! Thank you so so much! Like I said before, I work really hard on each chapter and try to make them unique and interesting for you all, it’s really great to see you’re enjoying reading them as much as I am writing! :D Anyway, just a big thank you to you guys and keep rating and reviewing if you’re enjoying or want to tell me its rubbish or anything at all :D Immy xo.

I woke up smiling the next day. I’m actually serious, smiling. My pillows weren’t damp with tears, my duvet was still covering me, making a change from every other night where I’d kicked it off in distress. No, I was actually... Happy.
Well, I don’t know about happy but I definitely wasn’t as miserable as before. I just felt more like my old self. What triggered it, I don’t know, but the minute my eyelids creaked open like two pages in an old book, I knew today was going to be a better day. I was lethargic in getting out of bed as usual, and, though I blushed at my morning wood, which was becoming quite a regular occurrence now, I crept to the bathroom and took the same cold shower in peace. No tears fell whilst I stood under the water, I even touched my cheeks for confirmation and felt practically shocked as the only wetness of them was that from above. What had gotten into me? I was so used to waking up groggily, my eyelashes seemingly glued together from clogged up sleep dust and dry tears. Getting out of bed would be one of the biggest struggles of my day, and just thinking about the ‘problem’ that needed taking care of would be enough to make me feel sick. Today was so different, and I couldn’t put my finger on it. Was it because I’d gone to bed almost as soon as I’d got home? I didn’t go down for dinner with dad and Anna, in fact the last thing I’d heard was something about them going to the movies before my head hit the pillow and I was out like a light. I was still on a high from that afternoon with Gerard, the taste of strawberries and chocolate still tantalising my taste buds and making me want even more from him. Like I said, sleep came quickly, so I suppose I had no real time to feel guilty or repent or... or pray...

I bit my lip as I was walking out the shower, covering my mouth for a moment. I hadn’t prayed last night. Shit. I’d just come in, ran upstairs and stripped out of my clothes, getting used to throwing things everywhere now I’d been with Gerard the past couple of days. Then I... I just curled up and fell asleep like a little kitten. I just slept, I couldn’t even remember if I’d said ‘bye’ to Anna and dad or what movie they were going to see or anything. Was that why I wasn’t feeling so bad? Because I hadn’t really told God about it? Every night I would sit on top of the sheets, crying and confessing my own sins into my hands, wishing I could do something to change what I’d done, but today it was different. I didn’t confess anything to God, I didn’t repent or pray for anything because I just didn’t want to. I don’t know what made me neglect Him like that, maybe it was my own body getting so sick of being miserable and upset all the time when I knew I couldn’t do anything to stop it. I was weak, and Gerard was terribly adamant to get what he wanted. I took him as the kind of guy who always got his way through his life and became more confident in his own skin with each passing day. He knew he was good looking, and he definitely knew he could over power me with one simple kiss, so what was the point in trying to overpower him? I would only end up crying and hiding in my room, trying my best to reverse what had happened, and really, what was the good in that? I couldn’t reverse anything. It upset me to realise how pathetically weedy and weak at the knees I became around him, but until the sins were over, what could I do about it? I’d never let this happen again, I mean, after he’d finished with me we’d both go our separate ways and I’d grow up to get married with a lovely wife and have lots of kids and all that mushy stuff that happens in fairytales or Hollywood or somewhere. I would.

I pushed that thought to the back of my mind as I started to think what might actually happen after the seven sins, not wanting the disappointment of never being with him like that again to hit me just yet. The fact was, right now there was nothing I could do about it, I mean, what if I tried to pull away and he beat me or raped me or something? I was in no position to move or complain about it when right now; Gerard was being gentle with me and I... I enjoyed it. Already the cogs in my mind were whirring and ticking away at what he might have in store today. When I was alone at college, I’d sit in one of the dusty old computer rooms, waiting about ten minutes for the machine to whizz and boot up into life, before going straight on the internet to research the other sins. There would be five left after yesterday, Greed, Wrath, Sloth, Envy and Pride. As I looked into each one, I wondered which he might pick. What magical things that man could do with each simple word. Would he choose pride today? Maybe he would make me feel proud about myself, give me special treatment in art to let me know what was bound to happen afterwards. I bit my lip as my stomach flipped in excitement, images of me on some sort of pedestal before being bent over his desk and-

I jumped into my skinny jeans quickly before any blood dared to venture down there, giggling quietly. Mmm, okay, maybe lay off the pride today. What about sloth? That’s laziness, so maybe we’d do something really relaxing today. Maybe he would give me a massage and make me feel oh so tranquil under his soft touch, not that he didn’t anyway. I sighed and smiled, pulling on a t shirt and styling my hair with some green gloopy gel in the bathroom mirror, grabbing a stick of kohl eyeliner to make my eyes look a little larger than they already were. I had thought up plenty of good things to do with sloth and pride and was really looking forward to the two of them, but was still struggling over envy and greed, and especially wrath. What would he do for envy? The thought of him talking to one of my friends made my stomach churn uncomfortably, but him and... And another man? I couldn’t even comprehend it, feeling almost sick knowing they’d be doing a lot more than just talking. Greed confused me too, I mean, how exactly could he take me greedily? Would it include the other man I’d imagined? Maybe even a woman, to show me what I should be having against what I just couldn’t resist? And wrath, what good could you find in that? I’d wracked my brains over that one for a couple of days now; terrified at first he was going to actually hurt me or something. I knew Gerard wouldn’t do that. I mean, he prepped me on the first day and, though he made his actions clear, he was never threatening or aggressive or anything. I... Maybe he’d just take it rougher with me, I could do that though, I have a feeling I’ll be a lot more prepared when he starts that one with me.

I didn’t have art until this afternoon, so had plenty of time to think over what he could do. I had a free period afterwards and assumed he knew that as well. I’ve said it before, Gerard’s an intelligent man, he wouldn’t have planned this without knowing when my frees and other lessons I could miss were. It was strange, after the first kiss with him, I was sure I could never trust the man again, but each time we’d been together and I’d left in such a euphoric state, I felt like I was back to my old self with him. On the way home, I decided to take his actions much more acceptingly for the next five sins, figuring that if I couldn’t resist him I might as well enjoy it. I mean, it’s not like I’m seducing him is it? I played with my food at lunch, twisting my fork round the cold strings of pasta that looked more like straggly bits of hair than actual food. This is why I hated forgetting my packed lunch, the food here was actually disgusting. I didn’t really care today though, I was too excited to even think about eating, this was just in arms reach. I twirled the plastic implement back round the spaghetti, raising it a little, before letting it slowly topple off into a heap on the plate. Maybe he would use greed today, a few websites told me it could be to do with food too... I might get some more of those delicious strawberries again...

‘Frank? Frank, are you listening to me?’ I snapped out of my daze and looked straight at Bob, blushing as it became rapidly obvious how much I wasn’t. ‘Did you hear any of that?’ He asked, his tone soft but I could see he was a little annoyed. The others were looking at me too in slight confusion as I mumbled a soft ‘no’ and asked him to repeat himself, obviously wondering what on earth was wrong with me. ‘We were wondering where you were the other day after art? You never showed up to movie night?’ I bit my lip and blushed, dropping my fork on to the plate and sighing. Fuck. Now I did feel guilty. I made sure I was totally hidden that day with Gerard and ran home, completely forgetting about going round to Johnny’s to see some films. ‘We tried calling you but your phone was off I think, was everything okay?’

‘Oh man, guys I’m so sorry about that, I meant to ring and say I couldn’t come,’ I lied, reeling off some story about how I had to leave art early because I felt so unwell. Johnny looked shocked at me, his face a map of concern as he and Zacky shared a worried glance. I felt awful for lying to them, but what else was I going to say? ‘Oh yeah, sorry about that, J, I was just screwing my art teacher and was really not in the mood to see that movie about the guy who pees on his arm or whatever.’ Inappropriate. I reassured them all I was okay and that it was just a 24 hour thing, not wanting them to worry about me and promising them a night with my personal gore collection at the weekend. Arrangements in the week really weren’t something I could commit to with Gerard around, and I didn’t want them to think I was slipping up as a friend anymore than I already was. I smiled when they all seemed convinced of the story and twirled my pasta round again, the thin, watery tomato sauce looking like fake blood from a horror film as it remained, splattered carelessly on the white ceramic. Ray frowned gently as I threatened to space out again into day dreaming, and tapped the back of my hand with his finger.

‘You’re sure you’re okay now Frankie? You have been drifting off a lot recently...’

‘Yeah man, you’re not really as alert as you were y’know,’ Johnny added with a sigh and I bit my lip again, shaking my head and saying that I was just tired from the night before, when really all I’d done is slept like a freaking log. ‘Are you sure?’

‘Yeah, sure I’m sure, I’ve not had a few good nights recently cos Anna’s not been well, I think I might have picked it up from her that’s all. Really guys, I’m okay,’ I beamed, the four of them chuckling and nodding, Ray apologising for ‘babying me’ like he sometimes does when I’ve been sick. He’s worse than my actual mom, I swear. Apart from that little hiccup, lunch passed pretty smoothly, the four of them now aware why I wasn’t being so attentive so mainly talked amongst themselves, leaving me to my thoughts. I sighed and happily drifted back into day dreaming, closing my eyes as I thought of all the magical things Gerard and I would be doing after art. It turns out a lot can happen in half an hour, and I giggled quietly at the thought, mewling in slight aggravation at the bell disrupting my dreams. Though, on realisation of where I’d be going now, my stomach buzzed in excitement like a thousand bees were swarming manically round the dark cavern. I stacked my plate away with the others and rushed to the classroom to get my bag and sketchbook. I wanted to talk with Gerard like we used to, knowing how I used to love getting lost in those little moments with him and hoping he’d give me a clue about later. I smiled and was out of the form room like a shot, flying over to the art block and skipping up the corridor in anticipation. Maybe he’d give me a clue about it now. Fuck, maybe he’d even teach me the sin now, a lot can happen in ten minutes too you know.

When I approached the white wooden door, I looked through the glass and bit my lip, raising an eyebrow at what I saw. On the couch, sprawled out across it’s grey, soft cushions was Gerard, an arm stretched along the back of it, his warm, hazel eyes closed. A soft frown was knitted on his brow and his lips had formed a gentle pout as he tried to keep his head from tilting to rest back on the arm of the sofa. He was sleeping, I could tell from the steady rise and fall of his chest covered by a light blue t shirt, his lips parting just a fraction whenever he let his head tilt back just a little too far. I looked around me and saw the corridor completely empty, a good few minutes left on the clock, allowing me to resume my gaze towards him. His ivory skin practically glowed in the light coming from the window, and every so often he would shift a little, his slender fingers feeling and curling round the textured fabric. I had never seen him like this before. I mean, obviously I knew the man slept, but it was strange to see him just resting like this in the middle of the day. He was always so strong and dominant whenever he was with me, and strutted around with a trail of teachers behind him wherever he went. Here, it was just the complete opposite. It was a totally different side to him, the weaker, more peaceful side. The side that just wanted to curl up and enjoy the sun like anyone would, and that’s what he was doing. I smiled and watched him for a moment longer, biting my lip and wanting to just slip inside quietly, but that same, selfish pang of jealousy hit me. I didn’t know how often he showed this side with any others, but knew that I didn’t want to risk sharing it. I knocked on the glass of the door with my knuckles, smiling when the man’s eyes fluttered open and he looked around, sitting up more and sighing. When his gaze met mine, he smiled softly and beckoned me in, yawning as I entered.

‘Mmm, hey Frankie, were you out there long?’ He asked and I lied as I shook my head, smiling and walking over to unpack my stuff. ‘Cool... Sorry, I’ve been so tired today,’ he chuckled, rubbing his eyes before just laying back down on the couch and yawning again. I smiled and looked over, shaking my head and telling him not to apologise, sighing as I just watched him relaxing again. ‘Mkay... My brother’s staying at mine and his daughter wasn’t too well, I was up all night with a bucket,’ he yawned and I raised my eyebrows. Brother? Daughter? Wow, he was an uncle? I never really pictured Gerard as a family man, just some sexual deviant who had the same sort of love parlour at home like he’d created in college. Now the niece and brother thing came into play, I felt my stomach flipping a little. Images of him taking care of the poor thing flickered through my mind and I sighed, blushing as, when I dragged myself out of my day dream, he was looking at me. His eyes were narrowed and a playful smirk was on his lips, and damn it did he look sexy. ‘What you thinking?’ He chuckled and I shook my head, blushing as I quickly said ‘nothing’ and changed topic of conversation. As I spoke, I started wondering about the sins again, even though we were talking about something completely different. Gerard closed his eyes as he listened, sighing and purring. His quiet ‘uhhuh’s and ‘mmm’s in response made me want to lean closer and I had to refrain myself from doing so, a little embarrassed from being spotted fantasising earlier.

As the lesson passed, Gerard and I started acting like our old selves again. He didn’t get up off the couch as the others came in, one of the jocks girlfriends actually thinking he was dead and squealing in fright when he answered something I’d said. I wondered if he minded me talking to him giving how tired he was, but I was quickly reassured when he stretched and got up off the couch, making a short circuit of everyone’s work before coming over to me and sinking down on to the stool. He leaned his elbow down on the grey table and rested his chin on top of his palm, smiling as we started talking about the nearing tour dates for Black Flag. I wonder what surprise he has in store later, he was probably up all night thinking about it as well as taking care of his niece, I bet that’s what really kept him up... It might be another room, maybe it’s even his office? Or the staff room? My heart pounded in excitement as I wondered what amazing paintings or decorations he’d bring this time, and I soon let myself slip into my own little world. I didn’t really notice his eyes gently falling closed or his head bowing a little, looking up and around every so often, before doing the same thing. I knew he was tired, but he’d pull it all out afterwards, and besides, he was just resting to save his energy for later I’m sure.

‘Mmm... what’s your tattoo say?’ He asked softly as he took one of my hands in his, looking at it through his eyelashes. I smiled and told him about the knuckle piece I’d got for my eighteenth last year, letting him put my hands together to read the inked ‘HALLOWEEN’ in red, orange and yellow lettering. ‘Your birthday’s on Halloween? That is really cool,’ he chuckled, yawning and smiling softly at me. For a moment, Gerard just held my hands and I could soon tell he wasn’t really looking at the tattoo, his eyes starting to fall shut again.

‘You are tired aren’t you?’ I giggled softly, squeezing one hand to wake him up more and he sighed.

‘How’d you guess.’ I shrugged and chuckled, biting my lip and holding his gaze for a moment. I wanted to know what he was thinking. I wanted to know what sin he’d teach me, I mean, I’d been with him all lesson and couldn’t fathom out anything. When the bell rang, I bit my lip, Gerard getting up with a stretch and smiling. ‘Okay guys, just finish off your artists work for next lesson and I’ll see you guys then,’ he beamed, rubbing his eyes. This was it. This was it. I packed up my things slowly and grinned to myself, shutting my sketchbook and waiting until everyone else had left. This was the part where Gerard locked the door and turned into that wicked, devious man I just couldn’t resist. I was so sure of it, that I even played along when he said a soft ‘See ya Frankie,’ and turned for the door. It wasn’t until he put his hand on the brass knob that I realised he was actually being serious. What? What?! My eyes widened and my heart started to pound again, was he seriously just going to leave?

‘Wait-’ I said quickly, running a hand through my hair and biting my lip as he turned round. His eyes met mine and he raised an eyebrow questioningly. ‘Erm... er... What about... y’know,’ I murmured, blushing more and more as I admitted to him that I wanted this. I wanted him.

‘What about what? Oh, mmm, not today Frankie,’ He said, walking over to me as I frowned a little in confusion. ‘You know how tired I am, I’ve had a really rough night, not n- mmmph.’ Before he could finish his sentence, I leaned up and cupped both cheeks, dragging him down for a kiss. My eyes were still open as I tried to process just what I was doing, but I soon let them flutter closed as he stepped a little closer and I knew he was weakening. ‘Frankie... Please, some other time,’ he sighed as I quickly kissed down to his neck, squeezing his shoulder and sighing. No, I’d waited all day for him to do this to me, I’d wracked my brains until they were practically numb, I wasn’t gonna have him just leave out on me. ‘Frank...’ I sighed and smiled, knowing I was winning. The role reversal didn’t even come into mind as I sucked tenderly and passionately at his neck, I wanted this now and that was all that mattered. I soon heard soft groans and sighs from his lips as I kissed up over his ear and back down again, working my way over his Adam’s apple. With one hand in my hair, the other trailing down to my ass, I had won. He was submitting, he was submitting to me and boy did it make me feel good. I flexed my fingers a little and rested a hand on his chest, walking him slowly back into the office and kicking the door shut behind me. He groaned in anticipation as the lock flicked shut and tilted his head back, letting me pull off the sky blue t shirt and throw it on to his desk. I kissed lower and lower, past his collar bones and down to one nipple, using the technique he’d done on me yesterday. ‘Fuck... Mmm, that’s it Frankie, show... Show me how much you want it...’ He growled, gripping my hair for a moment and releasing quickly as I flicked my tongue over the nub.

‘Mmm...’ I mewled as I bit down gently, kissing the pain away, before giving the other nipple a similar treatment. It felt so strange, so new and exciting doing this to him, to the man that made me fall at my knees, the man I couldn’t stop thinking about. I knew it was wrong, I knew that but I continued to go lower once I felt the bulge in his jeans, wanting to impress him so badly. I kissed down his chest quickly, making light work of the man’s creamy torso, my lips trailing over his toned, muscular abs. I pressed a cheeky kiss over his belly button and looked up at him, both of Gerard’s hands in my hair as he leaned against his desk. I sighed and smirked, his lips parting as he groaned at any sensitive spot I touched with my own mouth. ‘Gerard...’ I breathed as I popped open that signature silver belt buckle he accompanied with any outfit, whipping off his belt in one swift movement and undoing his jeans. I dragged the zipper down with my teeth as I looked up at him, still on a rush from the panic I had of him leaving a moment ago. ‘Glad you stayed?’ I murmured, Gerard nodding and running a hand through my hair, letting me take in his erection. I bit my lip and looked at it hungrily, not sure what had come over me. Maybe it was the sins I’d thought up earlier that got me like this, maybe it was the desire to see him moaning and whimpering for my touch like he was, I’m not sure. When I took his erection into my mouth though, I wasted no time in thinking about anything and focused on impressing. I had never done this before, and he had never done it to me either so I was at a complete loss of what to do. But I mean, the phrase ‘sucking someone off’ is gonna be literal isn’t it, and I’ve heard stories about what a couple of the guys here have done with their boyfriends so, in those seconds, I tried to remember everything I’d heard before I started moving.

‘Oh Frankie, Frank...’ Gerard groaned quietly as I swirled my tongue round the head, moving lower to massage more of his length and suck tenderly as I took all of him in. I relaxed my gag reflex so I could fit as much in as possible and closed my eyes, sighing as I just worked on sucking him rhythmically and steadily. I soon found it wasn’t so difficult and placed my hands on either hip, bobbing my head and running my tongue over the throbbing vein in his member. My wet muscle darted about the head and dipped in the tiny slit, picking up some drops of salty pre cum. I opened my eyes at the sharp taste and grazed my teeth over him a little, looking up through my lashes when I realised he liked that. ‘Good boy... Oh, you are...’ he sighed, tangling his fingers through my hair, his mouth open in pleasure as groans emitted into the small room. I sucked harder at the praise, cupping his balls in one hand and massaging tenderly, wanting to keep it interesting. I sighed and gathered up more pre cum with the tip of my tongue, lathering it over his erection as I trailed my tongue about. I groaned softly as some trickled down my throat and sucked more passionately, humming more purposely when I found that was another good move. I sighed and kept my eyes on his face the whole time judging his reaction as I tried new things and ways to impress. It was so exciting for me, even more so to think that I could weaken him like this just as much as he could to me. It meant he couldn’t resist me either, right? If he didn’t want me then he would have pushed me away by now wouldn’t he? Mmm... I sighed at the thought and closed my eyes again, the pre cum leaking out of his erection the more I sucked. ‘Fuck, oh Frank, I’m so close, God, mmmph I c-can’t hold it...’ He groaned louder, gripping at the wood of the thick, oak desk and I sighed, nodding and massaging his balls to spur him on. I wanted to taste him, I wanted to feel his cum running down my throat, that when he did, I sucked eagerly like a cat with cream. I lapped him up as the hot seed spilled out into my mouth and groaned at the sound of my name being called in such a pleasurable way, knowing he was in ecstasy.

‘Mmm...’ I sighed as I cleaned off his softening member, kissing over it for a moment, before dragging his jeans up and watching him fumble with the zip and buckle. His eyes were glazed over with lust and he looked down at me, biting his lip and running a hand through my hair.

‘Wow Frankie... You sure you’ve never done that before?’ He sighed with a soft smirk after he’d got his breath back and I nodded, biting my lip and leaning close to get another kiss, hoping he’d repay me somehow. After all, my own erection was aching and weeping a little itself and there weren’t any cold showers around for ages. ‘Ah ah ah,’ he giggled as I went to kiss him, being pushed back as he grabbed his t shirt. ‘You have a free period right? Take care of that yourself,’ Gerard smirked, my eyes widening and my lips parting. What? He wouldn’t help me?

‘What? B-But Gerard I can’t, it’s a-’

‘And sucking your teacher off against his desk isn’t?’ He asked playfully before I could even say the word. ‘Thank you for that by the way, that was unexpected. Doesn’t mean I’m gonna help you out though does it?’ He asked, giggling as I continued to look shocked at him and he leaned down to kiss my lips. ‘Mmm, c’mon Frankie, you had to learn about sloth sometime, and right now I’m just too lazy to return the favour, see ya around.’

With that, he left. Just like after lust, only, this time I covered my mouth, looking at my erection through my jeans and groaning in absolute agony. Fuck. As I worked myself off, I shook my head, blushing deeply and feeling so mortified. What had I done? I’d said it this morning, it was okay because it’s not like I was coming on to him, but I just fucking had done there, letting him know now that I do want him and am obviously prepared to stoop that low in my own beliefs just to get him. I made sure to be quick about it and scamper out of his office whilst I still had some strength in me, shaking my head and knowing that this needed to stop now if I was ever going to redeem myself for what I’d done. I couldn’t believe it, everything that I was was just starting to fall apart at the seams, and it terrified me to think I was letting it happen.