Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > It Was Just One Night
Melody's POV
I woke to the sensation of someone shaking me. I yawned sleepily, stretching my aching limbs before cracking my eyes open to see Mikey standing over me.
"Too early, Mikey."
"Come on, get up. You have an appointment."
"Damn. That's today?"
"Yep. Frank wants you up and ready in thirty minutes."
"Wait, Frank? I thought you were taking me."
"I was but Frank is taking you now." I sighed.
"This is going to be a long fucking day."
"Look, I know Frank is upset with you right now but he already loves that kid more than life itself and she isn't even here yet. He's not going to abandon her and he's still going to want to be there for everything involving her."
"Yeah. I know. I just don't think I can take him not talking to me, Mikey. I know I fucked up and I know he's angry but it hurts when he ignores me." Mikey sighed.
"Give him time, Mel. He needs time."
"Okay."
I rose from the couch and headed toward my room. Well, Frank's room now, I suppose. I halted just outside the door and turned to Mikey.
"Um...Mikey?"
"Yeah?"
"Could you get me some clothes? I don't want to piss Frank off, ya know?"
"Yeah, of course. What do you want?"
"A pair of jeans, a shirt, a hoodie, and a pair of shoes?"
"You got it."
Mikey disappeared into Frank's room, returning just minutes later with my clothing. I quickly changed in the bathroom then brushed my teeth and fixed my hair before returning to the living room to wait for Frank.
"Are you hungry? I could make you something."
"No thanks, Mikey. I'm not hungry."
"I think you should eat something."
"I'll eat later."
"No. You should eat something now." Frank's voice boomed from behind me, startling me.
"I um....okay."
I wandered into the kitchen and made myself a small bowl of cereal and then took a seat at the table. I didn't actually eat all that much. Honestly, I wasn't all that hungry but I didn't want to piss Frank off anymore than I already had so I took small bites while I pushed the soggy flakes around the bowl, hoping it looked like I had ate more.
"Are you done yet?" Frank questioned from the doorway, startling me out of my daze.
"Oh, um...y-yeah."
Frank left without another word as I dumped the remainder of my cereal and washed the bowl. I returned to the living room and Frank beckoned for me to follow so I grabbed my purse and ipod and followed Frank out to his car. I slid into the passenger's side and buckled myself as Frank did the same on the driver's side. Without a word he started the ignition and sped off toward Newark. The only sound filling the car was the loud music blaring from the speakers at a near deafening level. I curled up in my seat, pulled my hood over my head, and popped my headphones in, drowning out Frank's blaring music.
I was nearly asleep by the time Frank pulled into the parking lot of the doctor's office. He got out and waited for me at the front of the car. I sighed as I removed my heaphones and stuffed my ipod into my purse before getting out and following Frank into the clinic. I signed in and took a seat. Surprisingly, Frank took the seat next to me and began flipping through a magazine. I suppose he didn't want to advertise our problems.
We didn't wait long before a nurse called my name, motioning for us to follow her to an empty room. She instructed me to change into a gown and then left. I ducked behind the curtain and changed quickly and then returned to lay down on the table. Frank still hadn't muttered a single word to me which wasn't unexpected really it just made me feel ten times worse than I already did.
"Frank?"
"What?" He barked, not even looking in my direction.
"Frankie, I'm sorry. Please don't be like that."
"How do you expect me to react, Melody?" He spit, shooting me a fiery gaze.
"I know I fucked up, Frankie but we weren't together. I didn't cheat on you. I'm not saying what I did was right, Frank. I just....I don't know. I was stupid. I've become something I said I never would and I'm sorry, Frank."
"Melody, what do you want me to say? I know I have to take responsibility in some of this but not this time. I know I took your innocence away. I have to live with that every day and I can even understand what you had with Mikey. He was there for you when no one else was so I understand. To be honest, I didn't even care that you were pregnant at that point in time but Gerard? Come on, Melody, we both know you don't have feelings for Gerard and he doesn't have feelings for you. He was just looking for a good fuck and you gave it to him. I'm not saying he doesn't care about you but he will never love you, Melody. Futhermore, you are seventeen. Seven-fucking-teen and in just six months time you have slept with not one, not two but three grown men."
I could feel the salty tears welling up in my eyes at his words but I didn't let them fall. I didn't want him to see me cry. I didn't want him to see how much his words, the truth, was actually hurting me. He was right, though, he was right about everything. No matter how much it hurt to hear I knew he would always be right. There was no way I could take it back.
"I k-know, I'm s-sorry. Frank, I really am b-but haven't you ever made a mistake? Haven't you done something you regret?" He motioned toward my protruding abdomen and rolled his eyes.
"Obviously."
With that one word I felt as if he had punched me in the stomach. I lay there frozen in shock. My brain didn't seem capable of simple words and my voice appeared to be lost. I could understand his anger at my actions but we had agreed that no matter what happened or what mistakes we made neither of us would ever regret our daughter. He swore to me he would never, ever regret her.
I rolled over wordlessly, facing away from him as silent tears leaked from my eyes, soaking the pillow beneath me. Just moments later the door opened and I scrambled to wipe my eyes, hiding the evidence of my fucked up life. Dr. Carter entered the room with a wide smile on her face and took the seat at the foot of the table.
"Hello Melody, Frank. How are you doing today?" Before I could answer Frank spoke up.
"We're doing fine and how about yourself, Dr. Carter?"
"Oh, I'm doing fine, Frank. Let's see, we are doing a simple pap smear and an ultrasound today." She explained, looking over my file. "Okay, just lie back for me and let's see how we're doing."
I lay back on the table and let Dr. Carter examine my stomach. She pressed and prodded, checking for abnormalities. It embarrassed me when Frank opted to stay for the pap smear but I said nothing because I knew he would be angry with me once we left if I had. Finally, it came time for the ultrasound. Dr. Carter spread the cold, blue gel across my abdomen before running the transducer through it so the image appeared on the monitor. Frank didn't utter a word as he watched our daughter move on the screen. It saddened me to know I had messed up so bad that Frank didn't want anything to do with his daughter now. Once Dr. Carter had checked and okayed the fetal position and size and the amniotic fluid she printed us a set of pictures and then left us, promising to set up our next appointment. I decided it was best not to talk to Frank as I redressed and followed him back out to the car.
Once in the car I buckled my seatbelt and curled back up in the seat, reinserting my headphones to block out the noise of Frank's soon to be blaring music. Frank kept quiet as he started the engine and sped off. I paid no attention to where we were headed until he turned onto a familiar street. Fear filled my veins as I realized where we were going. I guess Frank really was planning on kicking me out, leaving me on my own.
"Fr-Frank?"
"What?" His voice still held the same cold bitterness. I felt the tears begin to form behind my lids, spilling down my cheeks in salty trails.
"Fr-Frank, please don't. I'm s-sorry. P-Please." He sighed as he ran a hand through his messy hair. He pulled into the drive and cut the engine.
"Calm down, Melody, I'm not leaving you. I talked to Benji last week and he asked me to bring you by while we were over this way."
"I-I...o-okay."
"Stop crying, Mel. I may be mad at you but I'm not going to abandon you, okay? I would never do that." He assured. I only nodded and wiped my eyes. Benji would notice but it didn't matter. I would tell him of my mistakes anyway.
Frank and I got out of the car and walked up the path to the door. I rang the doorbell and just seconds later Benji opened the door and pulled me into a hug. I hugged him back, thankful to see him after so long. Zac pushed Benji aside, causing me to laugh and pulled me to his chest.
"Fuck! I have missed you, Mel." Zac beamed, pulling out of our hug and holding me at arm's length.
"I've missed you too, Zac. And you too, Benji."
"I've missed you so fucking much, Mel. Come in, come in." Benji grinned, ushering Frank and I inside the house.
Benji lead us down to the basement where he had his own little game room and hang out area set up. Benji pulled me down on the couch between Zac and himself as Frank took a bean bag chair to the right of us.
"So, how have things been? How's the baby? Have you found out what you're having yet?" Zac began firing questions at me and I couldn't help but laugh.
"Um, the baby is okay. We are having a little girl."
"Awe, a little girl! Have you thought of any names yet?" I frowned, peering in Frank's direction. Frank's eyebrows knit together and he frowned before shrugging at me.
"Uh...no, not yet but we, um...we're working on it."
"That's good. I can't wait. I bet she's going to be the cutest thing ever." Benji squealed and Zac nodded his agreement.
"Y-Yeah, thanks."
Benji frowned at me, clearly realizing something wasn't quite right.
"Come on, Mel, let's go get something to eat. Would you like anything Frank?" Frank politely declined. "What about you, Zac?"
"No, I'm okay. Hey Frank, you want to play a little Mortal Kombat with me?"
"Sure."
Benji dragged me up the basement stairs and into the kitchen.
"Okay, what's going on?"
"Nothing. Why would you think that?" He rolled his eyes at me.
"Come on, you know I can tell when something is bothering you." I sighed, crossing my arms and avoiding his gaze.
"Fine. I messed up...again." He sighed.
"Oh Mel, what happened now?"
"You might want to sit because this is going to be a long story." I muttered.
We each grabbed a bottle of water and migrated to the living room where we got comfortable. Once we were settled I told Benji every little detail of what has being going on since New Year's. I didn't leave anything out. From Gerard's New Year's kiss to Frank's drunken hookup as well as my mistake of sleeping with Gerard to Frank's admission of his feelings. By the time I was finished telling him everything I had salty trails dripping from my chin.
"And no matter what I do I know he will never look at me the same way, Benji. He hates me now. I didn't just fuck up this time. I ruined everything."
"Mel, I don't....I'm not sure what to say. Yeah, you fucked up, you fucked up bad but I don't think Frank hates you. I just don't understand why you slept with Gerard."
"I don't know either, honestly. I had these feelings that no one wanted me or would ever want me again and then along comes Gerard. I wish I could go back and change it but I can't. No matter what I do I will never be able to change what I did."
"Frank would have shown you that affection, Mel."
"I didn't know, Benji, I didn't know. If I had known I wouldn't have gone through with it."
"Regardless, you should never have slept with Gerard. There is no excuse for that. I still love you, Mel but you have to know how wrong that was."
"I do, Benji. I don't know what to do to fix it. Please help me."
"I can't help you, Mel. The only way this is going to be fixed is if Frank decides to fix it. There's really nothing you can do at this point except let him know how sorry you are and how you really feel about him. After that you are going to have to give him some time."
"Okay. Thanks, Benji."
"It's no problem but promise me you won't go sleeping around again, okay? That's not you, Mel. I know you and I know you don't really want that."
"No, I don't. I really just want Frank. I want us to raise our daughter together. I want him to be the best father he can be. I want to be the best mother I can be. I just want our daughter to be happy and I want Frank to be happy. If it's not with me then so be it but I would die if he ever abandoned her." I sniffled, placing a protective hand over my abdomen.
"I haven't known Frank long but what I do know about him is that he would never do that. He loves this baby, Mel. Anyone with half a brain can tell that."
"Yeah, but-"
"Benji, can I talk to Melody, alone?" Frank questioned, startling both Benji and myself.
"Sure. I'll be downstairs if you need anything."
"Thank you." Frank nodded at Benji as he disappeared into the kitchen. Frank took a seat next to me on the sofa. We sat in an awkward silence for several minutes before Frank spoke.
"Do you want to know what hurts the most, Melody?" I nodded shakily.
"I wanted us to be together. I wanted us to get married someday and raise our daughter together. I really thought we could do it, Mel."
"I'm s-sorry, Frankie. I want to fix it b-but I can't. I don't know what to d-do anymore."
"I don't know either, Mel. I don't know if it can be fixed." I let out a choked sob as those words left his mouth. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close to his chest and resting his chin on the top of my head. I felt his lips press to my temple and I only cried harder, gripping him as close to me as I could.
"Shh, it's okay. I promise you that you will be the first to know if that changes, Mel. I still want those things but right now I just can't, Mel." I nodded through my tears. Even with the pain his words were inflicting upon my heart I understood.
"I think, for now, only I should deal with your schooling. If I have to leave then you are going with me. I refuse to leave you alone again. Also, I want you to take the bedroom. I will sleep on the couch for the time being." I shook my head frantically.
"N-No, Frankie. I'm not taking your bed. I'll be fine just please don't hate me. I don't think I can handle it if you say you hate me."
"I don't hate you. I could never hate you. I don't care how angry I get at you, I will never hate you, okay?" I nodded. "And, I refuse to let you sleep on the couch but right now we can't share the bed. Not yet, okay? Maybe in time but not yet." I nodded once again.
"Fr-Frank?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you really regret her?" He sighed, squeezing me tighter.
"No, Melody. I'm sorry I said that. I only wanted to hurt you. I don't regret her and I never will. I never should have said that and I'm sorry."
"It's okay, I understand."
"Come on, dry your eyes and let's have a good time. You haven't seen Benji and Zac in awhile so I know they want some time with you."
"O-Okay."
Frank held me in his arms, rubbing my tummy until I managed to calm down enough to be socialable. Alyson and Ryan came to visit us while we were down. Alyson, like Benji, wasn't thrilled to hear about my latest activites and I didn't escape the scolding she gave me but for the remainder of our visit we spent as much time as possible with each other.
It was late when Frank announced we should get back and I just about couldn't keep my eyes open any longer. After a long and teary goodbye I finally climbed in the car and Frank started back toward home.
"Thanks for today, Frankie. It really means a lot."
"It's no problem. I'm glad you had a good time."
I yawned sleepily and curled up in the seat. It wasn't long before I drifted into sleep, lulled by the quiet roar of the engine and blurring trees outside my window.
Here is another long one for you guys. :)
xo britt
I woke to the sensation of someone shaking me. I yawned sleepily, stretching my aching limbs before cracking my eyes open to see Mikey standing over me.
"Too early, Mikey."
"Come on, get up. You have an appointment."
"Damn. That's today?"
"Yep. Frank wants you up and ready in thirty minutes."
"Wait, Frank? I thought you were taking me."
"I was but Frank is taking you now." I sighed.
"This is going to be a long fucking day."
"Look, I know Frank is upset with you right now but he already loves that kid more than life itself and she isn't even here yet. He's not going to abandon her and he's still going to want to be there for everything involving her."
"Yeah. I know. I just don't think I can take him not talking to me, Mikey. I know I fucked up and I know he's angry but it hurts when he ignores me." Mikey sighed.
"Give him time, Mel. He needs time."
"Okay."
I rose from the couch and headed toward my room. Well, Frank's room now, I suppose. I halted just outside the door and turned to Mikey.
"Um...Mikey?"
"Yeah?"
"Could you get me some clothes? I don't want to piss Frank off, ya know?"
"Yeah, of course. What do you want?"
"A pair of jeans, a shirt, a hoodie, and a pair of shoes?"
"You got it."
Mikey disappeared into Frank's room, returning just minutes later with my clothing. I quickly changed in the bathroom then brushed my teeth and fixed my hair before returning to the living room to wait for Frank.
"Are you hungry? I could make you something."
"No thanks, Mikey. I'm not hungry."
"I think you should eat something."
"I'll eat later."
"No. You should eat something now." Frank's voice boomed from behind me, startling me.
"I um....okay."
I wandered into the kitchen and made myself a small bowl of cereal and then took a seat at the table. I didn't actually eat all that much. Honestly, I wasn't all that hungry but I didn't want to piss Frank off anymore than I already had so I took small bites while I pushed the soggy flakes around the bowl, hoping it looked like I had ate more.
"Are you done yet?" Frank questioned from the doorway, startling me out of my daze.
"Oh, um...y-yeah."
Frank left without another word as I dumped the remainder of my cereal and washed the bowl. I returned to the living room and Frank beckoned for me to follow so I grabbed my purse and ipod and followed Frank out to his car. I slid into the passenger's side and buckled myself as Frank did the same on the driver's side. Without a word he started the ignition and sped off toward Newark. The only sound filling the car was the loud music blaring from the speakers at a near deafening level. I curled up in my seat, pulled my hood over my head, and popped my headphones in, drowning out Frank's blaring music.
I was nearly asleep by the time Frank pulled into the parking lot of the doctor's office. He got out and waited for me at the front of the car. I sighed as I removed my heaphones and stuffed my ipod into my purse before getting out and following Frank into the clinic. I signed in and took a seat. Surprisingly, Frank took the seat next to me and began flipping through a magazine. I suppose he didn't want to advertise our problems.
We didn't wait long before a nurse called my name, motioning for us to follow her to an empty room. She instructed me to change into a gown and then left. I ducked behind the curtain and changed quickly and then returned to lay down on the table. Frank still hadn't muttered a single word to me which wasn't unexpected really it just made me feel ten times worse than I already did.
"Frank?"
"What?" He barked, not even looking in my direction.
"Frankie, I'm sorry. Please don't be like that."
"How do you expect me to react, Melody?" He spit, shooting me a fiery gaze.
"I know I fucked up, Frankie but we weren't together. I didn't cheat on you. I'm not saying what I did was right, Frank. I just....I don't know. I was stupid. I've become something I said I never would and I'm sorry, Frank."
"Melody, what do you want me to say? I know I have to take responsibility in some of this but not this time. I know I took your innocence away. I have to live with that every day and I can even understand what you had with Mikey. He was there for you when no one else was so I understand. To be honest, I didn't even care that you were pregnant at that point in time but Gerard? Come on, Melody, we both know you don't have feelings for Gerard and he doesn't have feelings for you. He was just looking for a good fuck and you gave it to him. I'm not saying he doesn't care about you but he will never love you, Melody. Futhermore, you are seventeen. Seven-fucking-teen and in just six months time you have slept with not one, not two but three grown men."
I could feel the salty tears welling up in my eyes at his words but I didn't let them fall. I didn't want him to see me cry. I didn't want him to see how much his words, the truth, was actually hurting me. He was right, though, he was right about everything. No matter how much it hurt to hear I knew he would always be right. There was no way I could take it back.
"I k-know, I'm s-sorry. Frank, I really am b-but haven't you ever made a mistake? Haven't you done something you regret?" He motioned toward my protruding abdomen and rolled his eyes.
"Obviously."
With that one word I felt as if he had punched me in the stomach. I lay there frozen in shock. My brain didn't seem capable of simple words and my voice appeared to be lost. I could understand his anger at my actions but we had agreed that no matter what happened or what mistakes we made neither of us would ever regret our daughter. He swore to me he would never, ever regret her.
I rolled over wordlessly, facing away from him as silent tears leaked from my eyes, soaking the pillow beneath me. Just moments later the door opened and I scrambled to wipe my eyes, hiding the evidence of my fucked up life. Dr. Carter entered the room with a wide smile on her face and took the seat at the foot of the table.
"Hello Melody, Frank. How are you doing today?" Before I could answer Frank spoke up.
"We're doing fine and how about yourself, Dr. Carter?"
"Oh, I'm doing fine, Frank. Let's see, we are doing a simple pap smear and an ultrasound today." She explained, looking over my file. "Okay, just lie back for me and let's see how we're doing."
I lay back on the table and let Dr. Carter examine my stomach. She pressed and prodded, checking for abnormalities. It embarrassed me when Frank opted to stay for the pap smear but I said nothing because I knew he would be angry with me once we left if I had. Finally, it came time for the ultrasound. Dr. Carter spread the cold, blue gel across my abdomen before running the transducer through it so the image appeared on the monitor. Frank didn't utter a word as he watched our daughter move on the screen. It saddened me to know I had messed up so bad that Frank didn't want anything to do with his daughter now. Once Dr. Carter had checked and okayed the fetal position and size and the amniotic fluid she printed us a set of pictures and then left us, promising to set up our next appointment. I decided it was best not to talk to Frank as I redressed and followed him back out to the car.
Once in the car I buckled my seatbelt and curled back up in the seat, reinserting my headphones to block out the noise of Frank's soon to be blaring music. Frank kept quiet as he started the engine and sped off. I paid no attention to where we were headed until he turned onto a familiar street. Fear filled my veins as I realized where we were going. I guess Frank really was planning on kicking me out, leaving me on my own.
"Fr-Frank?"
"What?" His voice still held the same cold bitterness. I felt the tears begin to form behind my lids, spilling down my cheeks in salty trails.
"Fr-Frank, please don't. I'm s-sorry. P-Please." He sighed as he ran a hand through his messy hair. He pulled into the drive and cut the engine.
"Calm down, Melody, I'm not leaving you. I talked to Benji last week and he asked me to bring you by while we were over this way."
"I-I...o-okay."
"Stop crying, Mel. I may be mad at you but I'm not going to abandon you, okay? I would never do that." He assured. I only nodded and wiped my eyes. Benji would notice but it didn't matter. I would tell him of my mistakes anyway.
Frank and I got out of the car and walked up the path to the door. I rang the doorbell and just seconds later Benji opened the door and pulled me into a hug. I hugged him back, thankful to see him after so long. Zac pushed Benji aside, causing me to laugh and pulled me to his chest.
"Fuck! I have missed you, Mel." Zac beamed, pulling out of our hug and holding me at arm's length.
"I've missed you too, Zac. And you too, Benji."
"I've missed you so fucking much, Mel. Come in, come in." Benji grinned, ushering Frank and I inside the house.
Benji lead us down to the basement where he had his own little game room and hang out area set up. Benji pulled me down on the couch between Zac and himself as Frank took a bean bag chair to the right of us.
"So, how have things been? How's the baby? Have you found out what you're having yet?" Zac began firing questions at me and I couldn't help but laugh.
"Um, the baby is okay. We are having a little girl."
"Awe, a little girl! Have you thought of any names yet?" I frowned, peering in Frank's direction. Frank's eyebrows knit together and he frowned before shrugging at me.
"Uh...no, not yet but we, um...we're working on it."
"That's good. I can't wait. I bet she's going to be the cutest thing ever." Benji squealed and Zac nodded his agreement.
"Y-Yeah, thanks."
Benji frowned at me, clearly realizing something wasn't quite right.
"Come on, Mel, let's go get something to eat. Would you like anything Frank?" Frank politely declined. "What about you, Zac?"
"No, I'm okay. Hey Frank, you want to play a little Mortal Kombat with me?"
"Sure."
Benji dragged me up the basement stairs and into the kitchen.
"Okay, what's going on?"
"Nothing. Why would you think that?" He rolled his eyes at me.
"Come on, you know I can tell when something is bothering you." I sighed, crossing my arms and avoiding his gaze.
"Fine. I messed up...again." He sighed.
"Oh Mel, what happened now?"
"You might want to sit because this is going to be a long story." I muttered.
We each grabbed a bottle of water and migrated to the living room where we got comfortable. Once we were settled I told Benji every little detail of what has being going on since New Year's. I didn't leave anything out. From Gerard's New Year's kiss to Frank's drunken hookup as well as my mistake of sleeping with Gerard to Frank's admission of his feelings. By the time I was finished telling him everything I had salty trails dripping from my chin.
"And no matter what I do I know he will never look at me the same way, Benji. He hates me now. I didn't just fuck up this time. I ruined everything."
"Mel, I don't....I'm not sure what to say. Yeah, you fucked up, you fucked up bad but I don't think Frank hates you. I just don't understand why you slept with Gerard."
"I don't know either, honestly. I had these feelings that no one wanted me or would ever want me again and then along comes Gerard. I wish I could go back and change it but I can't. No matter what I do I will never be able to change what I did."
"Frank would have shown you that affection, Mel."
"I didn't know, Benji, I didn't know. If I had known I wouldn't have gone through with it."
"Regardless, you should never have slept with Gerard. There is no excuse for that. I still love you, Mel but you have to know how wrong that was."
"I do, Benji. I don't know what to do to fix it. Please help me."
"I can't help you, Mel. The only way this is going to be fixed is if Frank decides to fix it. There's really nothing you can do at this point except let him know how sorry you are and how you really feel about him. After that you are going to have to give him some time."
"Okay. Thanks, Benji."
"It's no problem but promise me you won't go sleeping around again, okay? That's not you, Mel. I know you and I know you don't really want that."
"No, I don't. I really just want Frank. I want us to raise our daughter together. I want him to be the best father he can be. I want to be the best mother I can be. I just want our daughter to be happy and I want Frank to be happy. If it's not with me then so be it but I would die if he ever abandoned her." I sniffled, placing a protective hand over my abdomen.
"I haven't known Frank long but what I do know about him is that he would never do that. He loves this baby, Mel. Anyone with half a brain can tell that."
"Yeah, but-"
"Benji, can I talk to Melody, alone?" Frank questioned, startling both Benji and myself.
"Sure. I'll be downstairs if you need anything."
"Thank you." Frank nodded at Benji as he disappeared into the kitchen. Frank took a seat next to me on the sofa. We sat in an awkward silence for several minutes before Frank spoke.
"Do you want to know what hurts the most, Melody?" I nodded shakily.
"I wanted us to be together. I wanted us to get married someday and raise our daughter together. I really thought we could do it, Mel."
"I'm s-sorry, Frankie. I want to fix it b-but I can't. I don't know what to d-do anymore."
"I don't know either, Mel. I don't know if it can be fixed." I let out a choked sob as those words left his mouth. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close to his chest and resting his chin on the top of my head. I felt his lips press to my temple and I only cried harder, gripping him as close to me as I could.
"Shh, it's okay. I promise you that you will be the first to know if that changes, Mel. I still want those things but right now I just can't, Mel." I nodded through my tears. Even with the pain his words were inflicting upon my heart I understood.
"I think, for now, only I should deal with your schooling. If I have to leave then you are going with me. I refuse to leave you alone again. Also, I want you to take the bedroom. I will sleep on the couch for the time being." I shook my head frantically.
"N-No, Frankie. I'm not taking your bed. I'll be fine just please don't hate me. I don't think I can handle it if you say you hate me."
"I don't hate you. I could never hate you. I don't care how angry I get at you, I will never hate you, okay?" I nodded. "And, I refuse to let you sleep on the couch but right now we can't share the bed. Not yet, okay? Maybe in time but not yet." I nodded once again.
"Fr-Frank?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you really regret her?" He sighed, squeezing me tighter.
"No, Melody. I'm sorry I said that. I only wanted to hurt you. I don't regret her and I never will. I never should have said that and I'm sorry."
"It's okay, I understand."
"Come on, dry your eyes and let's have a good time. You haven't seen Benji and Zac in awhile so I know they want some time with you."
"O-Okay."
Frank held me in his arms, rubbing my tummy until I managed to calm down enough to be socialable. Alyson and Ryan came to visit us while we were down. Alyson, like Benji, wasn't thrilled to hear about my latest activites and I didn't escape the scolding she gave me but for the remainder of our visit we spent as much time as possible with each other.
It was late when Frank announced we should get back and I just about couldn't keep my eyes open any longer. After a long and teary goodbye I finally climbed in the car and Frank started back toward home.
"Thanks for today, Frankie. It really means a lot."
"It's no problem. I'm glad you had a good time."
I yawned sleepily and curled up in the seat. It wasn't long before I drifted into sleep, lulled by the quiet roar of the engine and blurring trees outside my window.
Here is another long one for you guys. :)
xo britt
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