Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Duality

Indecision and Discovery

by andafaith

HBP AU. It's hard enough being a teenager; add nefarious plots, the Dark Lord, and house rivalries into the mix. A story about enlightenment, growing up, and getting over yourself. Harry/Daphne.

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: NC-17 - Genres: Angst,Drama,Romance - Characters: Blaise Zabini,Draco,Harry,Hermione,Ron - Warnings: [!!!] [X] [?] - Published: 2011-06-23 - Updated: 2011-06-23 - 3066 words

?Blocked
Author’s Note: Thanks for the reviews and everything! I’m so sorry I’ve been gone for a while. Uni ended up being difficult around midterms and finals time. I absolutely hated neglecting this story for a couple months, but I hope you’re still with me! Anyway, enjoy this chapter! Please review. :)

Disclaimer: Nope, still not mine. Maybe someday I’ll own stock, but until then… nothing.



Duality: Indecision and Discovery

oOo



“I played like a sack of dragon dung,” Ron said dejectedly, his shoulders hunched over as they walked toward the castle. ₁

Harry sighed internally “No, you didn’t - you’re the best Keeper I tried out, Ron. Your only problem is nerves.” ₁

“No, I was horrible…” Harry was about to cut in but Ron continued, “And I’ve been an absolute git lately.”

“Can’t deny that, but you weren’t… horrible. You’re a great keeper.” He tried to be encouraging, but it was difficult sometimes when Ron persistently wanted one hell of a pity party.

“Yeah… I’m sorry – it’s just that she’s a dirty snake. Slytherin.” Ron heaved a short, irritated sigh. “Dunno how you can snog that.”

Harry rolled his eyes and asked, “Have you looked at her lately?”

Frowning, Ron’s eyebrows raised. “So it’s… about… that?”

“She’s really lovely, Ron. As a person. I mean, sure, she’s a Slytherin but she’s-” Harry paused, grinning to himself. “-she’s beautiful and nice and brilliant – smart – and a great friend and really good in-” Bed. He snapped his mouth shut. Ron didn’t exactly know about that detail. He wondered if he should tell him – he always told Ron everything and keeping this secret from his best mate was… almost torturous.

“Good in what?”

“Potions,” Harry recovered with a nod.

Ron’s face screwed up into an incredulous expression. “Potions?”

“Yeah, Potions – she’s just as brilliant as Hermione in a few of things.”

“Right,” Ron muttered doubtfully.

And,” Harry started with a grin, “she’s helping me with the Malfoy situation.”

What?” he hissed; the redhead’s eyes widened so far Harry thought they’d pop out of his skull.

“We’ve been spying on him and gathering information and stuff – she’s really good at that.”

“Oh,” Ron mumbled dumbly. “Well, that… she… not bad.”

“Yeah, Ron.” Harry gave a small chuckle low in his throat. “She’s ‘not bad’.”

Ron dragged his feet, but he was standing a bit taller than before. He’d obviously forgotten about his awful Quidditch performance already. “You should meet her sometime.” Harry watched Ron carefully, waiting for some kind of emotional explosion. That was Ron’s style.

But Ron just reluctantly shrugged a shoulder as they walked up the stairs to the front doors. “I dunno, mate. I mean… where would we?”

“Where do you think I go during lunch most of the time?” Harry asked, grinning over at his best friend. He was rather glad to have Ron back and talking to him properly.

“You’re gone for the whole lunchtime just with her?” A disgusted frown pressed over Ron’s lips. “What do you do?”

Harry shrugged. “Plan world domination; shave Mrs. Norris; fumigate the Gryffindor common room to keep out the ferret; talk; snog; shag – all the usual stuff.”

Oh, shite.

Spluttering and choking, the redheaded Gryffindor blew out a short puff of air, his cheeks taking on a decidedly red hue. “Shag?” Ron stared at Harry as if he’d grown ten heads and told him he was Voldemort and Dumbledore’s lovechild.

“Yeah.” Harry swallowed thickly. Maybe that wasn’t the best way to tell Ron. “Shag.”

“When did this start?”

Well, at least Ron seemed to be taking this a lot easier than Harry thought he would.

“I don’t think I should tell you that,” Harry said hesitantly, his eyes glancing around for anyone within earshot of their conversation. Thankfully, that was no one.

Ron glared. “Just tell me…”

“First night we met.” Merlin, that was painful to get out. Harry winced, waiting for the onslaught of Weasley rage from hell.

“Wow.” Ron deflated suddenly. “Why doesn’t that ever happen to me?”

“Er – I just got lucky, I guess?”

Now this was turning awkward. Great.

“Was that why you were late….?” Ron stared at him; a gloomy yet curious glint flittered through his dark blue eyes.

Harry shook his head. “No, we were going over Malfoy stuff. It’s not like we go at it like nifflers, Ron.”

Harry pushed open the tapestry to take their usual shortcut up to Gryffindor Tower, Ron was still staring at him with his lips pressed together in a frown. He almost jumped in surprise when he found himself looking at Dean and Ginny, who were locked at the lips, snogging as if the fate of the world depended on it. ₁

It wasn’t right to stare. A culmination of feelings gathered and collided – as if the proverbial shite had finally hit the fan. Harry already knew he had a soft spot for Ginny – yes, she was attractive, who wouldn’t? – but… jealousy wasn’t a natural feeling for him. He didn’t even know where the hell it came from. This was almost like watching Daphne as she traipsed around the school with Zabini. Or when he sometimes watched Zabini huddle around Daphne in the cold while they smoked in one of the outdoor alcoves of the courtyard.

“Oi!” ₁

Dean and Ginny broke apart and looked around. ₁ Her lips were red and swollen and Harry’s stomach clenched. He needed to go find Daphne, right away; he needed to get away from here now before his mind whirled into a thought he really didn’t want to think. His mind chanted over and over again: This isn’t right. This isn’t right. This isn’t fucking right. It felt similar to betrayal looking at Ginny like that.

He wanted to cover the few feet between them and –

Not fucking right.

“What?” Ginny said snappishly. ₁

“I don’t want to find my own sister snogging people in public!” ₁

“This was a deserted corridor till you came butting in!” ₁

Dean backed off against the wall, throwing an embarrassed grin toward Harry. ₁ Harry felt his lips quirk up for a moment, out of impulse, his mind whirling toward where Daphne could be. This isn’t right. The feeling of jealousy settled sickly in his stomach: The jealousy toward Dean and Ginny’s oh-so-out-in-the-open relationship, their wide-ranged acceptance (by everyone except Ron), jealousy toward Dean for… no, he couldn’t think that.

That was the thing that was even more wrong than the rest. Ginny was Ron’s sister and he practically grew up with her. Thinking of her as extremely attractive with incredible legs and –

No, he couldn’t think of that either. Did Daphne look at other guys and think of the same things? Hopefully she did, he’d feel less guilty for staring at Ginny sometimes. But hell, if she did, he’d have to hex whoever that was – hopefully till the bastard ended up in the hospital wing until the end of next year.

“Er… c’mon, Ginny,” Dean said, shifting on his feet, “let’s go back to the common room…” ₁

“You go! I want a word with my dear brother!” ₁

Dean spared a glance toward all of them before shuffling out of the corridor, looking relieved to be able to get away. Harry itched to follow him but his feet were glued to the floor, his eyes barely wavering from Ginny. ₁

“Right,” Ginny said in a clipped tone, tossing her hair out of her face and glaring at Ron, “let’s get this straight once and for all. It is none of your business who I go out with or what I do with them, Ron-” ₁

“Yeah, it is!” Ron exclaimed. “D’you think I want peo¬ple saying my sister’s a-” ₁

“A what?” Ginny shouted; her eyes held a challenging glint as she drew her wand. “A what, exactly?”

“He doesn’t mean anything, Ginny-” Harry cut in, trying to diffuse the situation. He should have fled with Dean and went to go find Hermione or Daphne or some girl… to talk to for odd advice over his state. ₁

Right, like that would go well: ‘Hermione, I think I might like this one girl, but I’m sort of seeing another girl and I really really like the girl I’m with. But is it normal to like someone while you’re kind-of in a relationship with someone else? Or am I just going absolutely mad?’

“Oh yes he does!” she said, her red-cheeked face staring up at Harry. “Just because he’s never snogged anyone in his life, just because the best kiss he’s ever had is from our Auntie Muriel-” ₁

Was it wrong to think she looked kind of brilliant when she was angry?

“Shut your mouth!” Ron bellowed, the flush crawling up his neck was turning a sickly colour of maroon. ₁

“No, I will not!” Ginny yelled, her teeth gritted together audibly. “I’ve seen you with Phlegm, hoping she’ll kiss you on the cheek every time you see her, it’s pathetic! If you went out and got a bit of snogging done your¬self, you wouldn’t mind so much that everyone else does it!” ₁

As soon as Ron pulled out his wand, Harry instantly stepped between them. Much to his dismay, it really didn’t do much. ₁

“You don’t know what you’re talking about!” Ron roared, trying to get a clear shot at Ginny around Harry, who stood in front of her with his arms outstretched. “Just because I don’t do it in public-” ₁

Ginny maniacally screamed with laughter, trying to push Harry out of the way, but he held firmly in place. “Been kissing Pigwidgeon, have you? Or have you got a picture of Auntie Muriel stashed under your pillow?” ₁

“You-” ₁

A streak of orange light flew under Harry’s left arm and barely grazed the hem of Ginny’s sleeve. Knowing Ron’s idiotic temper, Harry pushed Ron up against the wall before he could fire off another spell. Ron struggled underneath his weight. ₁

“Don’t be stupid-” ₁

“Harry’s snogged Cho Chang!” Ginny shouted in a rough wet voice, sounding close to tears. “And Hermione snogged Viktor Krum, it’s only you who acts like it’s something disgusting, Ron, and that’s because you’ve got about as much experience as a twelve-year-old!” ₁

She stormed away, glancing back at them with one last penetrating glare; her footfalls stomped heavily against the stone floor as she disappeared around the corner. Harry quickly let go of Ron with an inaudible sigh of relief; the look on Ron’s face was murderous. They both stood there, breath¬ing heavily, until Mrs. Norris seemed to appear out of nowhere and started curling herself around Harry’s feet. ₁

“Come on,” Harry said quietly, as the sound of Filch’s shuffling feet grew louder outside the tapestry. ₁

After extracting Mrs. Norris, they hurried up the stairs and along a seventh floor corridor. Ron shouted, “Oi, out of the way!” at a small girl, who jumped in fright and dropped a bottle of toadspawn and Harry hardly noticed sound of shattering glass amid his reeling thoughts. ₁

It’s not right, it’s not right, it’s not right. Don’t even think of Ginny that way, you’re with Daphne and Daphne is… He needed to talk to a girl who wouldn’t laugh at him or admonish him for thinking all that. Hermione was out of the question for the latter reason and practically everyone else was out of the question for the former reason. If he wasn’t seeing Daphne, he’d be comfortable enough to go to her with it, but he was… seeing her. She’d probably… he didn’t even know what she’d do, actually. It was better to be safe than sorry.

Colours and scenes twisted and twirled in his mind: of half form thoughts of kissing Ginny; of snogging Daphne – the form of Daphne morphed to Ginny; feeling the soft skin of Daphne’s thighs as he hitched her leg over his hip. His mind tumbled back to the thought of snogging Ginny and Ron ripping open the tapestry curtain and drawing his wand on Harry shouting things like “betrayal of trust” and “supposed to be my friend”… ₁

Merlin, if only Sirius were alive, Harry was sure he’d know how to deal with this kind of thing. Sirius did allude to his… less than proper exploits in his Hogwarts days a few times. He probably knew how to deal with guilty girl trouble. But the guilty twinge that flowed through him every time he thought about Sirius arose and he swallowed thickly. Exhaling a small sigh, Harry projected his mind somewhere else – anywhere else. He liked to keep his mind busy so he didn’t even have time to think of Sirius.

Unfortunately, Ginny popped up and then Daphne – pressed against the wall of the corridor. Then Ginny again, with her flushed skin; Daphne, with her swollen lips-

“D’you think Hermione did snog Krum?” Ron asked abruptly, as they approached the Fat Lady. Harry gave an awkward start and wrenched his imagination away from a corridor or cupboard where Daphne and Ginny mutated from one to the other – like some absurd metamorphagus that couldn’t make up her damn mind on who she wanted to be. ₁

“What?” Harry stared perplexedly. He faintly heard the question. Hermione – Victor Krum. Yes. Did they snog? “Oh… er… probably.” ₁

Ron’s teeth gnashed together. “Dilligrout,” he muttered darkly to the Fat Lady, and they climbed through the portrait hole into the common room. ₁

Harry raced straight up to his dormitory with Ron close behind, determined to get to his map. Despite everything he still had a job to do. He had to keep an eye on Malfoy, and maybe find out where Daphne was at the moment. She said she’d send word when they could meet again, but he didn’t think he could wait that long.

Ron was back to being silent as they both stripped off their Quidditch uniforms and Harry prodded at his map, whispering to it. Malfoy was in the Slytherin common room, which was to be expected. Zabini was prowling around the same common room, but he didn’t see Daphne anywhere. His eyes followed up over the floors, looking for her name. Snape was walking along the third floor corridors near the room that had Fluffy in it in Harry’s first year.

Daphne had to be somewhere…

He lifted the paper up and examined it; she wasn’t on the fifth or sixth floor. He almost jumped when he realized she was outside the common room. Her little dot remained stationary. What in the world would she be doing there?

“I have to go do something,” Harry muttered over to Ron, who merely grunted in response. He quickly folded up the map and stuck it into the pocket of his pyjama bottoms with his wand.

Swiftly, he swept out the door and down the staircase to a nearly full common room, which was practically alive with chatter. Hermione was in the corner studying with Neville, while Colin Creevey whapped his wand on the Wizarding Wireless to get it to change songs. A few first years were gathered in a circle playing with their familiars – Harry almost tripped over a little blonde-haired boy chasing after his gerbil. After skirting past a group of giggling girls, Harry made it out the portrait without any questioning, only to find the corridor completely empty.

The portrait hold slammed shut and it echoed through the corridor.

Harry’s brows furrowed and he pulled the map from his pocket to check and see if she was still there. It didn’t take him that long to get out of the common room – she had to be there. He opened the parchment, looking round for any lurkers standing in the corridor, but it was pretty late. Everyone must have been inside.

“Harry.”

He started and his heart beat frantically as he whipped his head around; his eyes grazed every possible surface around him, but he couldn’t find anyone. Yet… the voice came from right next to him…

Fabric rustled and Harry turned toward it, pulling out his wand. “Who’s there?”

A disembodied head appeared floating in the middle of the corridor just a foot away from him; blue eyes met his. “Just me – I found something. I was trying to break in but it wasn’t working very well.” Daphne spared a glance at the sleeping portrait of the Fat Lady. “I got as far as stunning her.”

“You can do that to portraits?” He looked back at the Fat Lady with his eyebrows raised.

“Apparently. I didn’t think it would work, but she started shouting at me and I didn’t want a hoard of Gryffindors to come barreling out to hex me.” Daphne sighed and glanced up at him with an anxious look in her eyes.

“Where’d you get the cloak?” Harry asked, looking her up and down, half her body was invisible.

“Knicked it from Theo – bloody Charms expert,” she explained quickly, grabbing his arm and throwing the cloak over him. “You have to see something.”

All thoughts of snogging her or talking to her or anyone about the earlier incident had vanished immediately.

“What is it? Are the Auror’s here already?” Harry eyes roved over his map as he lit his wand to see everything more clearly. The cloak around them smelled a lot like Firewhiskey and éclairs.

“No, Blaise sent the letter an hour ago – I followed Draco after you left for practice. He’s quite the sneaky git. Got away from me a few times, but I found him.”

Harry’s heart almost stopped. “You know where he’s been going?”

“Yes. And I’m gonna show you.”




Direct and paraphrased quotes taken from (or Reference):

₁ Rowling, J.K. (2005). Chapter 14: Felix Felicis. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (US edition). New York, NY: Scholastic Inc.
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