Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Almost
(Kacy's POV)
Brendon was driving through town as I looked out the window, taking in everything in wonder. I was so excited to have been released from the hospital, it made me realize just how lovely the world was. Everything outside of the hospital seemed to shine with the vibrance of life. "Can I listen to your music?" I asked, realizing that I hadn't yet. I had meant to ask Lisa to bring a CD or something but I'd forgotten plus my 'remembered' stay had been short. There really wasn't much they could do to help me and there was no reason to keep me. I was able to take care of myself, I hadn't lost control of any necessary functions so they had really just been making sure that I wouldn't fall back in to a coma. I didn't know that happened but evidently it was common.
"Yeah, definitely. You liked it before. Let's hope for my sake that your tastes haven't changed." Brendon joked.
I smiled at him, highly doubting that I wouldn't like anything created by him. He was absolutely amazing without doing much so when talent came in to play.... Well, I was ready to be blown away. "It's so strange." I said, changing the topic as he parked his car. "Everything is going to be so new. So everything that I had before will seem like... presents!" I said, thinking about it. It was true though. There was that new-ness to it all that made it just as exciting as Christmas, only a little nerve wracking as well since nothing would be familiar.
"Well let's go in." Brendon said, smiling at the excitement he saw all over my face.
"Is my mother inside?" I asked, curious since Brendon hadn't said anything about her.
Brendon shook his head, "Nope. It's just our place."
As I got out of the car and followed him to the door I thought of how strange that was. "I find it kind of weird that my mother allows me to live with you while I'm still in high school." I admitted.
Brendon unlocked the door and stood aside so that I could walk in first. It was kind of messy, things were thrown about and it looked mostly like guy stuff. "Well... About that. I actually moved your stuff in yesterday when you kicked me out of the hospital." Brendon admitted.
I spun around and looked at him, "Don't you think that's something you should have asked me about first?" I asked, slightly frustrated that he had just assumed that I would want to live with him.
"Well I figured it would be better." Brendon stated as he headed in to the kitchen.
"Better? How so?" I asked, really not sure how that made sense at all.
Brendon shrugged, "You always used to sleep over anyway." He stated, even though it hadn't happened an extreme amount of times like he was suggesting.
"Oh." I said softly. I guess it made sense and was even kind of sweet. Maybe he thought I'd be more comfortable living with him?
"Feel free to rearrange whatever you'd like to. I just put your stuff in the bedroom because I didn't know how you would want it." Brendon said, grabbing a soda and sitting on the couch to watch something.
I nodded but didn't say anything as I found my way in to his bedroom and saw a variety of things. None of it was extremely girly though so I didn't know what was mine and what was Brendon's as I snooped around a little, hoping for something to jog some sort of memory but again that didn't happen.
As I looked around I started to get frustrated, I was looking for familiarity but there wasn't any and there shouldn't be any since this isn't where I was before. I knew Brendon meant well but I kind of wanted to be able to see how I was before and this just wasn't helping. As I slumped on to his bed I sighed in comfort. At least he had a nice bed.
"I can't wait to sleep tonight just because of that bed." Brendon admitted, standing in the doorway.
"Is there some rule that says we have to wait?" I asked, smiling a little at him. The bed had sucked me in and now I didn't want to get up.
Brendon laughed, "No, no rule I can think of but if there is then I'm okay with breaking it." He said as he approached the bed and fell in to it next to me.
"Mmm, bedtime." I mumbled as I closed my eyes and envisioned simplicity.
**
"You are aware that this entire argument is useless because I'm going to do what I want anyway, right?" I asked. I was currently standing in the bathroom, putting on some make up. I was getting ready for school and Brendon looked like he was going to explode as he tried to talk me out of it. Tried being the operative word. I had made up my mind. I wish he understood that once that happened there was no changing my mind but still he continued arguing. I knew I should be flattered he cared enough to be worried about me but instead it just kind of annoyed me.
"It's not a good idea Kacy." Brendon said, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched me, "By the way you look utterly fantastic."
"Cute." I replied at his attempt to change my mind, "And thank you. I'm trying to blend in. Is this make up high school girl looking? It kind of looks like sad attempt at being good enough to stand on the corner and hook for a living to me." I said, glaring at my own reflection.
Brendon laughed so hard that I thought he was going to fall over but as soon as it came it quickly went and he straighten himself up and shot me a serious look of frustration, "You're not going anywhere. Not to school and most definitely not to the corner."
I rolled my eyes, "You can't tell me what to do. Last time I checked you were my boyfriend, not my father."
"Well I can play daddy if you'd like." Brendon said, winking.
"Ugh. I'm currently pretending that you didn't say that." I responded, throwing on my best facial expression to show the disgust that statement warranted.
"See... We are having fun without school so just stay home. We can lay in bed and watch movies all day or we can go anywhere... Do anything, just stay home!" Brendon pleaded.
"Why are you so against me going to school?" I asked, staring at him as I waited for an answer.
"I'm worried that you'll get hurt again." Brendon spoke so softly that I was surprised I was even able to make out his words.
"I can take care of myself Brendon." I whispered back.
"You weren't able to before." As soon as Brendon said it he looked like he wanted to take it back but the thing about words are once they leave your lips they can't come back no matter how hard you wish they would.
"Well better get off to school." I said, walking out of the bathroom to grab my school bag, "You know I need to leave a little bit of that pesky self confidence in place so that I can let my fellow classmates get their fair share of making me feel like shit too." I said sarcastically.
"I didn't mean to make you feel like shit and I don't want to damage your self confidence but come on Kacy, face reality here. School is dangerous." Brendon said, following me as I made sure that I had everything I needed.
Everything in the apartment was now clean and organized. I had spent all yesterday doing that while Brendon slept and it was great because I also got to listen to some of his music and I absolutely loved it. It put me in an upbeat cleaning mood and everything went by quickly so I didn't quite feel the pain of boredom while cleaning and now I was able to quickly locate things.
"No Brendon, school is supposed to be safe. Now I would listen to you and understand if you asked me not to walk in to a gang zone with a sign saying shoot me but you're asking me not to go and get an education. I just need to finish up. I'm graduating with my class." I said, determined.
Brendon groaned, "Fine lets go." He grabbed his keys and dragged his feet all the way to the car, bitching about how he didn't want to go. It almost made me laugh because it honestly sounded like I was trying to get an 8 year old to go to school, absolutely pathetic.
**
Despite my best attempts I didn't seem to be blending in at all. Everyone stared and I knew I wasn't imagining it this time like I had thought I was in the hospital. I would stare back until the whispering started. Once they started whispering about me I had to tear my eyes away so that I wouldn't break down in to tears. Why couldn't life just be simple? I just wanted to graduate high school, I didn't want to be the freak people stopped and stared at.
As I walked a little faster through the hall I came across Lisa, finally a friendly familiar face! "Hey Lisa!" I yelled, waving.
Lisa saw me and smiled, quickly making her way towards me. "It's so good to see you here!" She said, seeming excited. "School just isn't the same without you."
I sighed, "I wish people would stop staring. I feel like I should check in a mirror to make sure I didn't grow a beard because they definitely aren't whispering about how normal I am." I stated, feeling the need to bitch and moan to someone.
Lisa laughed, "You're a medical mystery to everyone. No one in this school knows anything about amnesia outside of what they learned in some cheesy romance flick." Then she shrugged, "Plus the fact that you're dating Brendon Urie has them all a little more than jealous."
I groaned and slumped against the wall in the hallway since it was break anyway. "I feel like maybe Brendon was right. Maybe I shouldn't have come back. I'm not prepared to be watched. I actually feel the need to do something completely ridiculous just so that they have a reason to stare."
Lisa shook her head, "Dont' let them get to you!" She said, casting a glare in the direction of anyone who happened to look at us whether it be innocent or not.
I laughed, "I think I'll be fine." I admitted, sighing. "I just need a coffee and to possibly go blind. If I didn't see them that would help tons." Not going to happen though.
"Well the coffee I can help with!" Lisa said, lighting up. "Let's go grab some!"
"But class is going to start in a few minutes." I said, looking up at the clock on the wall.
Lisa shrugged and started walking down the hall as I quickly tried to keep pace with her, "I think we will be fine. Last time I checked they don't throw you in jail for choosing coffee over being to class on time."
Brendon was driving through town as I looked out the window, taking in everything in wonder. I was so excited to have been released from the hospital, it made me realize just how lovely the world was. Everything outside of the hospital seemed to shine with the vibrance of life. "Can I listen to your music?" I asked, realizing that I hadn't yet. I had meant to ask Lisa to bring a CD or something but I'd forgotten plus my 'remembered' stay had been short. There really wasn't much they could do to help me and there was no reason to keep me. I was able to take care of myself, I hadn't lost control of any necessary functions so they had really just been making sure that I wouldn't fall back in to a coma. I didn't know that happened but evidently it was common.
"Yeah, definitely. You liked it before. Let's hope for my sake that your tastes haven't changed." Brendon joked.
I smiled at him, highly doubting that I wouldn't like anything created by him. He was absolutely amazing without doing much so when talent came in to play.... Well, I was ready to be blown away. "It's so strange." I said, changing the topic as he parked his car. "Everything is going to be so new. So everything that I had before will seem like... presents!" I said, thinking about it. It was true though. There was that new-ness to it all that made it just as exciting as Christmas, only a little nerve wracking as well since nothing would be familiar.
"Well let's go in." Brendon said, smiling at the excitement he saw all over my face.
"Is my mother inside?" I asked, curious since Brendon hadn't said anything about her.
Brendon shook his head, "Nope. It's just our place."
As I got out of the car and followed him to the door I thought of how strange that was. "I find it kind of weird that my mother allows me to live with you while I'm still in high school." I admitted.
Brendon unlocked the door and stood aside so that I could walk in first. It was kind of messy, things were thrown about and it looked mostly like guy stuff. "Well... About that. I actually moved your stuff in yesterday when you kicked me out of the hospital." Brendon admitted.
I spun around and looked at him, "Don't you think that's something you should have asked me about first?" I asked, slightly frustrated that he had just assumed that I would want to live with him.
"Well I figured it would be better." Brendon stated as he headed in to the kitchen.
"Better? How so?" I asked, really not sure how that made sense at all.
Brendon shrugged, "You always used to sleep over anyway." He stated, even though it hadn't happened an extreme amount of times like he was suggesting.
"Oh." I said softly. I guess it made sense and was even kind of sweet. Maybe he thought I'd be more comfortable living with him?
"Feel free to rearrange whatever you'd like to. I just put your stuff in the bedroom because I didn't know how you would want it." Brendon said, grabbing a soda and sitting on the couch to watch something.
I nodded but didn't say anything as I found my way in to his bedroom and saw a variety of things. None of it was extremely girly though so I didn't know what was mine and what was Brendon's as I snooped around a little, hoping for something to jog some sort of memory but again that didn't happen.
As I looked around I started to get frustrated, I was looking for familiarity but there wasn't any and there shouldn't be any since this isn't where I was before. I knew Brendon meant well but I kind of wanted to be able to see how I was before and this just wasn't helping. As I slumped on to his bed I sighed in comfort. At least he had a nice bed.
"I can't wait to sleep tonight just because of that bed." Brendon admitted, standing in the doorway.
"Is there some rule that says we have to wait?" I asked, smiling a little at him. The bed had sucked me in and now I didn't want to get up.
Brendon laughed, "No, no rule I can think of but if there is then I'm okay with breaking it." He said as he approached the bed and fell in to it next to me.
"Mmm, bedtime." I mumbled as I closed my eyes and envisioned simplicity.
**
"You are aware that this entire argument is useless because I'm going to do what I want anyway, right?" I asked. I was currently standing in the bathroom, putting on some make up. I was getting ready for school and Brendon looked like he was going to explode as he tried to talk me out of it. Tried being the operative word. I had made up my mind. I wish he understood that once that happened there was no changing my mind but still he continued arguing. I knew I should be flattered he cared enough to be worried about me but instead it just kind of annoyed me.
"It's not a good idea Kacy." Brendon said, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched me, "By the way you look utterly fantastic."
"Cute." I replied at his attempt to change my mind, "And thank you. I'm trying to blend in. Is this make up high school girl looking? It kind of looks like sad attempt at being good enough to stand on the corner and hook for a living to me." I said, glaring at my own reflection.
Brendon laughed so hard that I thought he was going to fall over but as soon as it came it quickly went and he straighten himself up and shot me a serious look of frustration, "You're not going anywhere. Not to school and most definitely not to the corner."
I rolled my eyes, "You can't tell me what to do. Last time I checked you were my boyfriend, not my father."
"Well I can play daddy if you'd like." Brendon said, winking.
"Ugh. I'm currently pretending that you didn't say that." I responded, throwing on my best facial expression to show the disgust that statement warranted.
"See... We are having fun without school so just stay home. We can lay in bed and watch movies all day or we can go anywhere... Do anything, just stay home!" Brendon pleaded.
"Why are you so against me going to school?" I asked, staring at him as I waited for an answer.
"I'm worried that you'll get hurt again." Brendon spoke so softly that I was surprised I was even able to make out his words.
"I can take care of myself Brendon." I whispered back.
"You weren't able to before." As soon as Brendon said it he looked like he wanted to take it back but the thing about words are once they leave your lips they can't come back no matter how hard you wish they would.
"Well better get off to school." I said, walking out of the bathroom to grab my school bag, "You know I need to leave a little bit of that pesky self confidence in place so that I can let my fellow classmates get their fair share of making me feel like shit too." I said sarcastically.
"I didn't mean to make you feel like shit and I don't want to damage your self confidence but come on Kacy, face reality here. School is dangerous." Brendon said, following me as I made sure that I had everything I needed.
Everything in the apartment was now clean and organized. I had spent all yesterday doing that while Brendon slept and it was great because I also got to listen to some of his music and I absolutely loved it. It put me in an upbeat cleaning mood and everything went by quickly so I didn't quite feel the pain of boredom while cleaning and now I was able to quickly locate things.
"No Brendon, school is supposed to be safe. Now I would listen to you and understand if you asked me not to walk in to a gang zone with a sign saying shoot me but you're asking me not to go and get an education. I just need to finish up. I'm graduating with my class." I said, determined.
Brendon groaned, "Fine lets go." He grabbed his keys and dragged his feet all the way to the car, bitching about how he didn't want to go. It almost made me laugh because it honestly sounded like I was trying to get an 8 year old to go to school, absolutely pathetic.
**
Despite my best attempts I didn't seem to be blending in at all. Everyone stared and I knew I wasn't imagining it this time like I had thought I was in the hospital. I would stare back until the whispering started. Once they started whispering about me I had to tear my eyes away so that I wouldn't break down in to tears. Why couldn't life just be simple? I just wanted to graduate high school, I didn't want to be the freak people stopped and stared at.
As I walked a little faster through the hall I came across Lisa, finally a friendly familiar face! "Hey Lisa!" I yelled, waving.
Lisa saw me and smiled, quickly making her way towards me. "It's so good to see you here!" She said, seeming excited. "School just isn't the same without you."
I sighed, "I wish people would stop staring. I feel like I should check in a mirror to make sure I didn't grow a beard because they definitely aren't whispering about how normal I am." I stated, feeling the need to bitch and moan to someone.
Lisa laughed, "You're a medical mystery to everyone. No one in this school knows anything about amnesia outside of what they learned in some cheesy romance flick." Then she shrugged, "Plus the fact that you're dating Brendon Urie has them all a little more than jealous."
I groaned and slumped against the wall in the hallway since it was break anyway. "I feel like maybe Brendon was right. Maybe I shouldn't have come back. I'm not prepared to be watched. I actually feel the need to do something completely ridiculous just so that they have a reason to stare."
Lisa shook her head, "Dont' let them get to you!" She said, casting a glare in the direction of anyone who happened to look at us whether it be innocent or not.
I laughed, "I think I'll be fine." I admitted, sighing. "I just need a coffee and to possibly go blind. If I didn't see them that would help tons." Not going to happen though.
"Well the coffee I can help with!" Lisa said, lighting up. "Let's go grab some!"
"But class is going to start in a few minutes." I said, looking up at the clock on the wall.
Lisa shrugged and started walking down the hall as I quickly tried to keep pace with her, "I think we will be fine. Last time I checked they don't throw you in jail for choosing coffee over being to class on time."
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