FicWad

1982
I sat in my bed reading The Catcher in the Rye when I heard a crack from the large tree outside my window. My heart drumming against my ribcage, I slowly got out of bed to look outside.
I was relieved when I saw the face of my boyfriend Billy smiling in at me. I smiled back and lifted the window.
“What are you doing here?” I whispered, not wanting to wake my parents in the next room.
“I wanted to see you. Can I come in?” He whispered back
“Just a second” I creeped over to my door and listened, making sure my parents were fast asleep. After hearing my father’s blissful snores I closed my door and opened my window all the way so Billy could step in easily. Once he was in my room he scooped me up and kissed me softly.
“What were you doing before I came here?” He asked letting go of me and walking over to my bed, picking up my book.
“Just reading” I answered slinging my arms around his torso and hugging his back. “Lay with me?”
He looked back at me and smiled “Kay”
We slid into my bed and I made myself comfortable in his arms. Billy was two years older than me and had earned himself a reputation as a trouble maker in Lafayette, he dressed differently, he looked different and he had big ideas of where he wanted to go in life. Extensive criminal record and bad reputation aside, Billy was sweet and easy to love. His auburn hair was growing out and hung carelessly over his intense green eyes which flickered over my face.
Billy often snuck into my room at night to cuddle me and sometimes more, a pleasure we had kept secret. After half an hour of pleasant chatting, he intertwined his fingers with mine and kissed my knuckles.
“I’ve got to get out of here Suze” He said. I knew he wasn’t talking about my house. My stomach dropped and I couldn’t help the sad expression that washed over my face but I listened to him speak.
“The cops are out to get me, my family hate me, I hate this town and there’s nothing here for me”
My eyes stung and my vision blurred slightly from tears beginning to form “What about me?”
“I didn’t mean it like that” He said stroking my cheek “Suze I need you to understand. I love you so much, but I can’t stay here. When I get things sorted I want you to come with me and stay with me forever. Until then I promise I’ll stay in touch”
I put my face into his chest and sobbed quietly. I did understand and I wanted him to be happy but that didn’t mean this didn’t hurt.
“Forever?” I asked
“Forever” He confirmed.
Three weeks later Billy left Lafayette. He wrote, as he promised he would, but after a while the letters began to slow and then they stopped altogether and my sweet Billy Bailey became a memory.

1987
I walked into Canters Deli and sat at a table with my friend Lily. We had arrived in Los Angeles two days ago and were keen to explore every part of the city. I sat wearing a white summer dress and ballet flats, my blonde hair was straight and hanging over my shoulders. My blue eyes flickered over the menu and I listened to Lily talk about the Sunset Strip.
“The Whiskey’s meant to be fun; do you want to go check it out tonight?” She asked
“Sure, maybe we’ll get to see a cool band play”
I smiled as her face lit up “Like Motley Crue?”
I shrugged smiling “Maybe”
Six hours later we stood amongst a crowd of people in the Whiskey-a-go-go. I’d swapped my white summer dress for a black cocktail dress and matching pumps. I felt someone brush my shoulder blade.
“Can I get you a drink?” Someone said into my ear. I turned around to see Nikki Sixx waiting for my answer. I blushed and smiled
“Vodka sunrise”
“Coming right up” He winked and walked towards the bar. Smiling from ear to ear I turned back around to brag to Lily when something, well someone, caught my eye from across the room. Standing next to someone with a mass of black curls and a top hat was my Billy. His hair was longer and tamed by a blue bandana and he seemed taller, stronger than before. He wore black leather pants and cowboy boots with a Harley Davidson singlet. On his left arm I could see two tattoos. My heart felt like someone was squeezing it and I found it hard to breathe.
“One vodka sunrise” I blinked and snapped myself out of the trance I had gone into
“Thanks”
“NIKKI SIXX!!!” Lily squealed when she turned around
“Hey there” He said “You two friends?”
“Yeah, this is Lily, I’m Suzie” I said it while looking at Billy “Why don’t you two get to know each other?”
Without a second thought I made my way across the room to Billy. When I was about three steps away from him I realised I had no idea what to say and wasn’t sure he would recognise me. Feeling embarrassed I turned around hoping he hadn’t noticed.
“Susannah?”
Fuck. I thought to myself, he had noticed. I turned around and smiled “Hey Billy”
“Billy?” His friend asked bewildered
Billy frowned and walked closer to me “It’s really good to see you, you look great” He smiled at me “What are you doing in L.A?”
Butterflies erupted in my stomach when he smiled at me “Lily and I got here two days ago, we’re thinking of moving here”
He smiled again “So no boyfriend then?”
“No Billy, no boyfriend”
“It’s Axl now Suze, Axl Rose, no more Bill Bailey”
This time I frowned “Oh” Suddenly heat flushed through me “How long has it been ‘Axl’”
He narrowed his eyes sensing a fight “Few years now”
“Really? About five fucking years?”
He stared at me and I had to look away from the intense green eyes, the one part of him that hadn’t changed. The hurt that I had felt five years ago had begun to rise in me and I couldn’t stand near him any longer. Without a word I turned on my heel and walked away from him and out the doors. I stormed down the Strip in the direction of the Hotel I was staying at. My head was spinning a little from the alcohol and the sight of Billy, now Axl.
Axl suits him better than Billy a voice in the back of my head said. I was too angry and hurt to listen to it.
“Suze wait up” I heard him say from behind me
“What?” I snarled over my shoulder. I hadn’t noticed the tears streaming down my face.
“Please stop” He said catching up to me and grabbing my arm. I shook him off.
“What was that? You don’t see me for five years and that’s the hello I get?”
Heat flushed through me again “Hello? You’re lucky you even got that much. Now please just leave me alone”
“I can’t do that” He argued
“Yes you can, you’ve done it before you can do it again”
His face turned and his soft stare turned into a harsh glare “What is that supposed to mean?”
“What do you think it means? I waited for you. I waited for you to tell me you’d worked everything out and I could come be with you. Like you promised” When he didn’t interrupt I continued “I kept every letter. Even when the letters stopped coming I still waited for you. I needed you”
“You think I meant to hurt you? You think I meant for this to happen? I was starving when I came out here! I had no food, no money and nowhere to live. You think I wanted to bring you into that?”
“What about now huh? You don’t look like you’re starving or homeless”
“It’s been five years! You think maybe I thought you’d moved on with someone else? Someone a bit better?”
“I don’t want anyone else!”
There was a tense silence while a group of people walked past us. Axl was still glaring at me but his eyes had softened again.
“I thought you understood why I had to leave” He said trying to sound calm
“I did. But that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt”
He looked away from me and I thought I saw his eyes glisten. “How badly did it hurt you?” He asked still looking away. His voice sounded strangled.
I hesitated not feeling so angry anymore “I... I feel pain when someone calls me ‘Suze’ because that’s what you nicknamed me. I barely slept for months after you left because-“ I stopped unable to continue. He looked up “Because?”
I swallowed and looked at my feet “Because a part of me was always listening, hoping I would hear you trying to sneak into my room again. You were my Billy and you left me. It broke my heart” My voice broke on the last sentence.
He closed the space in between us and I could smell the scent I had missed so much “Hey look at me”
I didn’t.
He put his hands on my shoulders and brought me in closer to him “Susannah look at me”
I slowly moved my eyes to look at him. His touch was making me melt inside. “I may not be your Billy anymore, but I can be your Axl”
I cried as his words processed. As I understood what they meant I put my face into his chest as I had the night he told me he was leaving. He wrapped his arms around me and stroked my hair. I felt him rest his head on mine “It was never over for me babe. I just lost sight of what was important”

Before I knew it we were at the door of my hotel room. I opened the door easily and Axl gripped my waist pulling me close to him and kissing me passionately. He slammed the door off and unzipped my dress ripping it off me. I kicked off my shoes and broke the kiss to take his shirt off. His torso was firm and defined, I ran my hands over it feeling the muscles. I tilted my head up to kiss Axl who held my hands to his chest as he leant down to slide his tongue into my mouth. He walked me into the bedroom and laid me on the bed our heavy breathing working to the same rhythm. He knelt over me and looked deeply into my eyes cupping my face with his hand
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
I curled my fingers through the strands of his hair that dangled over his shoulders “Yes” I whispered
He gazed at me for a moment and then smiled “Ok” He whispered back brushing my lips with his.
His hands slid skilfully over my body and unhooked my bra, he threw it to the floor and kissed my neck rubbing my breasts and gently pinching my nipples. I thrust my hips into him and reached down to undo his pants rubbing his hard cock first. He moaned into my neck.
“Take your pants off” I said
“You’re so impatient” He said doing as he was told. I giggled. He slid my panties off and positioned himself on top of me “Ready?” He asked
I nodded and he pushed into me. I gasped and he stopped moving, looking at me with intense eyes “You ok?” He asked
I breathed out adjusting to his size “Yeah, you’re bigger then what I remember that’s all”
He chuckled softly and kissed me, gently thrusting into me. My moans started to echo in the room and he pushed harder and faster. I put my legs on his back and pushed him deeper.
A while later we lay curled together. My head was on his chest and he was absentmindedly stroking my hair. He talked about everything. From what happened when he left Indiana to his travels to New York, his group of talented misfits that he now played with in a band, how the band was one gig away from being signed, how he had dabbed in drugs, the people he had met, mistakes he had made, his first tattoo, his most recent tattoo, and what he felt when he saw me at the Whiskey earlier tonight.
“It was such a strange feeling” He said “At first I didn’t believe it was you, then when I realized it was, I knew I had to have you”
I smiled and intertwined my fingers with his, brushing my lips along his knuckles “Forever?” I asked
He smiled, the memory coming back to him aswel “Forever Babe”